Recently i have stumbled across a submissive, and she is a good friend of mine now. It upsets me to see her cry, get angry, and feel neglected by her Dom. I don’t know the whole story so i am not picking sides. But:

•Littles in general are supposed to be clingy, i wouldnt have it any other way if i had a little •Littles are supposed to be “cutely annoying” at that point its not even annoying, wake me up by poking my cheeks 17,000 times. I will hug the stuffing out of you •Littles do have a lot of anxiety, i mean come on, if you had a paci, a stuffies, and quite possibly a diaper, and you had to leave your home and go be “big” it kind of ruins your mood •Littles have a tendency to think you are off gallivanting with someone else if you don’t text them at least 3 times a day “good morning” Afternoon i am still alive" and “Goodnight Cutie, sleep well” (this is specifically to distance) •Littles are some of the most precious things on the planet, when they light up about something they are happy about, it is the most adorable thing of all time.

1. Rules give structure which is very comforting to a submissive mind. To be able to see what is expected, and what is forbidden, allows a little girl to navigate the relationship easily, and with less stress. 

2. Rules remind a submissive who is in charge. Whether she is obeying them, or breaking them, Daddy put them there, and she is reminded that every time she navigates around them, or takes one off the shelf and breaks it. 

3. Rules are useful tools to improve your submissive’s life, and make her a better person. Don’t like that she keeps a messy room? Make a rule that changes that. Don’t like that she eats sweets before bed, and that it makes it hard for her to fall asleep? It must be rule time. Rules help Dominants take care of their littles, because we can’t expect them to take care of themselves all the time.

1.) I need the structure and rules in order to feel fulfilled.

2.) I need to have someone to care for and be valuable to

3.) I crave the intensity of D/s interactions

4.) The feeling of ownership makes me feel safe and free

5.) Having someone in my life who is willing to push my boundaries has made me a better person

6.) I need someone who craves me and wants me just as much as I do them and I have not found that in the vanilla world

7.) I need to be held accountable for my actions in a way that only a D/s relationship can provide

8.) I love having a person who will take me down dark paths of desire

9.) I have desires that require absolute trust in order to be fulfilled

10.) I crave that moment when I can finally let go and fully submit and my mind finally quiets

11.) Sometimes I just need the feelings of hands on my throat or buried in my hair and the whisper of “You are Mine” in my ear

I want to do this for hours. I want to let you relax and thumb your phone while you’re grinding back against me, until you can’t even focus on what you’re looking at. I want you biting at your lower lip and squeezing your thighs together and arching your back so I can get a better angle on you, so I’m hitting all your favorite spots. I want you to forget what you’re doing and just fuck yourself on my hand, rough and desperate and needy.

Tell me when you’re close, so I can keep you there, in the span of hunger between heartbeats, aching and needing. I like it best when you want it so bad it hurts, when you’re sobbing because you need it, because you want it, because it’s all you can think of –

Dinner with Pip

080818 • Camera A • @tooprettytolive

sub’s needs

Dom’s needs

Dom’s wants

sub’s wants

For example, if a dom is trying to convince their sub that the subs needs and wants don’t matter, then the hierarchy can help the sub t recognize that their dom is being a douche. 

Or, in other cases the sub may think that they are basically the little princess and that their dom should cater to their every whim…and so being reminded that the dom’s wishes come before the subs wishes, can be helpful for that, too. 

But…I also just feel like if taken at face value, applying the hierarchy in a realistic way requires a lot of nuance. 

In my view, the goal of any loving relationship should be to try to meet everyone’s needs and wants. I think the hierarchy really only needs to come into play when needs and/or wants contradict each other. 

So the only time that the dom’s needs would be put on the back burner would be if they can’t meet the subs need and the doms needs at the same time. And then hopefully once the subs needs are met, then the next priority would be to circle back to the dom’s needs and meet those. 

But the other aspect is that not all needs are equal, especially with the way we talk about needs within D/s. Nobody needs D/s to survive so of course it’s never literal needs…D/s needs are more about what we need to be as fulfilled as possible. So if a subs needs and doms needs contradict, but the doms need is like a basic human need or survival need (like…he’s sick or injured and needs to rest), and the subs need is a fulfillment need (like ‘I need an orgasm’ or ‘i need a spanking’) then the doms need should come first in that scenario because it’s clearly a more important need. 

Looking down at the gutter a small river has formed and I awkwardly step over it. We huddle together keeping as dry as possible.

The bookstore is so warm inside and I’m unable to help myself from running my fingers along the rows of cloth covered spines, feeling the debossed titles. I can see he is in a hurry so I follow behind in a ridiculous trot to keep up with his large strides.

The restaurant is at the back. It’s dimly lit with candles on the table. He gives the maître d the booking name and we are directed to the table where our company are already waiting. There was a time where these kinds of occasions felt like “playing vanilla” but I have come to see and appreciate all the ways Master is still Master when we’re out in the world and going about our daily lives. We have our own language, in a way.

Our company are studying the menu. I’m daydreaming when I feel his hand on my elbow. Once he has my attention he taps his wine glass subtly. I fill it feeling grateful that he didn’t just give up on me and fill it himself for the sake of convenience. When the waiter arrives Master orders for me and for himself. I ask him “wine?” with slightly raised eyebrows and he nods so I fill my own glass along with his. The food arrives and I wait for him to take a bite before I start.

When it’s time to go I ask if we can look in the bookstore on our way out. He agrees and tells me to choose some things to buy, too. “Okay, thank you” I say absentmindedly as I start to wander away from him. He grabs me by the wrist roughly and pulls me in against him so I can nuzzle into his chest.

“Thank you what?” He says, his voice stern and low though his eyes are sparkling.