AMELIA BLOG

i am the kind of person who gets upset when summer rolls around because that means fall is coming and then winter again. very cute

yesterday and last night were very hard on me but today my partner made me breakfast in bed / I practiced for three hours with a band for one of my favorite musicians and I went and saw one of the most special shows I've seen in a while (though really I've been to so many good shows lately) / ate a footlong wawa hoagie in the park / feeling tired and tender and so relieved

amazing how in one day I can (1) have unbelievable anxiety to the point of physical pain and hyperventilating in a wawa parking lot and (2) talk to some close friends about that anxiety and immediately feel 90% of it relieved and feel clearheaded and ready to deal with what's really bothering me. I feel very lucky to have such kind hearts in my life

as someone who hasn’t played in a band since age 14, i probably should have staggered my participation in three (3) bands but you live and you learn! shows on may 14th (nyc), 21st (philly), 22nd (nyc), and 23rd (philly), and june 3rd (philly). graduation somewhere in there! then a trip to austin and a two-week-long tour!

recently to get myself to do things I've had to (figuratively) hold my own hand and (literally) talk to myself in the mirror, kind of patronize myself, say "we've done this before, we're going to do it again, ok? ok, because we have to, we have no choice"

freelancing and depression and free-floating anxiety do not mix nicely