I'M THE CUTIE POOL!

@cuteepool

"HI PRINCESS!" Wade's voice wasn't loud, but it was enthused, and his hand moved to wave at Ellie in turn, his fingers fluttering with the gesture. It was clear by the way his feet tip-tapped in place for a moment, that he was also refraining from making first contact, no matter how much he wanted to hug her.

Much like the first time he had laid eyes on his daughter, Wade was having a hard time believing that Ellie was really there, absolutely PERFECT IN EVERY WAY, just as she always had been.

Preston was someone that took their job seriously, and when they had made it clear to Wade that they were going to be taking Ellie, and he wasn't going to be receiving another address...he'd carved that part of his heart out of his chest, and accepted what he was being told, for his daughter's sake.

Every cell in his body had wanted to argue that he needed to be in her life, but the harsher voices in his head would remind him that it was HIM that needed ELLIE. She was a bright girl from day one, with a smile that could light up a city block. There was no way that he had anything lasting and positive to offer her. He was an insane monster that didn't have any business being alive, let alone having people making the mistake of caring about him.

No amount of self-loathing could linger for long when she smiled like that at him, though.

"Oh! Right, yeah, we should uh..." The merc whipped his head back and forth, his eyes narrowing threateningly at everyone. He didn't want to do a violence in front of Ellie, if he could help it, not right out of the gate, anyway...

It seemed that, of all of the patrons of the bar, it had been BUCK that had managed to read the scene enough to know that Wade and his daughter needed the space to talk. The large man took a step forward from the crowd.

"YOU HEARD 'EM!" Buck's voice commanded the room as he looked out to everyone. "Scram, get th' fuck outta here!" He made a firm sweeping gesture towards the door. "Move it!"

Much to Wade's surprise, there was a muttering of complaints and some harsh shoves of chairs back against tables as they cleared out, but the mercs DID leave. When Buck turned to Weasel, the bar's owner went from confused, to INSULTED.

"I'm not going anywhere, it's my fuckin' bar-"

Before Weasel could finish his complaint though, Buck's fist made contact with his face in a sucker punch that knocked his lights out. The large assailant slung the bartender over his shoulder and looked to Wade with a nod, leaving him still slightly bewildered as he turned and walked towards the exit.

"Now THAT is how you improv, Buck! I'm so proud of you!" Wade clapped his hands in the empty bar and shook his head. "Bravo! This is gonna put you in th' running for Best Supporting Brute."

IN  ALL  THE  TIME  ELLIE  SPENT  ON  A  BUS  HERE  SHE  HADN'T  PREPARED  FOR  THIS.   She  thought  about  it  ,  every  day  she  thought  about  the  day  that  her  dad  was  allowed  to  be  around.         (  a  lot  more  recently  with  the  age  fast  approaching  where  she'd  be  expected  to  set  out  on  her  own.  )   But  the  entire  trip  out  to  find  Wade  ,  ┈┈  she  hadn't  thought  about  what  it  might  be  like  to  finally  find  him.   In  all  the  times  she  had  imagined  it  ..  she  always  imagined  it  being  a  little  more  ..  child  appropriate.

Ellie's  eyes  scanned  the  bar  ,  ┈┈  wide  eyes  moving  to  one  of  the  much  larger  occupants  of  the  bar  yelling  for  everyone  to  clear  out.   Even  more  impressive  than  the  BOOMING  voice  that  came  from  him  ,         (  was  the  way  that  just  about  everyone  seemed  to  take  the  hint  however  grumpily.  )   and  cleared  out  of  the  bar.   All  except  Weasel  ,  at  first.   For  someone  who  played  tough  from  the  moment  she  walked  in  ,  ┈┈  he  really  went  out  quick  like  a  sack  of  potatoes.   Big  ,  thick  curls  bounced  with  her  gasp  ,  before  following  with  her  body  facing  Buck  as  he  carried  the  bar's  owner  out  of  the  building.

You'd  think  that  the  daughter  of  Deadpool  would  be  pretty  immune  to  the  shock  of  seeing  violence  ,  ┈┈  well  you'd  be  dead  fuckin  wrong  to  think  that  was  true.   Turns  out  Preston's  goal  of  shielding  Ellie  from  a  violent  life  paid  off  for  the  most  part  with  this  one.         (  aside  from  the  kidnapping  when  she  was  very  young  which  also  ended  in  the  death  of  her  mother.  )     ┈┈    Ellie  lived  about  as  normal  a  life  as  any  American  kid  would  have.         (   even  funnier  when  you  thought  about  the  fact  that  she  was  mexican  and  canadian.  )   Don't  read  into  it.

With  the  bar  finally  empty  ,  ┈┈  she  looked  back  to  her  dad  just  in  time  for  him  to  address  one  of  the  elephants  in  the  room.   Of  course  he'd  want  a  hug  ,  and  she  wanted  that  just  as  bad.   But  she  hadn't  seen  him  in  nine  years.   She  was  still  a  kid  ,  who  came  all  the  way  out  here  alone.         (  wasn't  he  the  least  bit  concerned  that  something  was  WRONG?  )   That  didn't  mean  he  didn't  deserve  being  able  to  show  her  how  much  he  missed  her  ,  ┈┈  but  it  did  remind  her  of  some  of  the  reasons  Preston  brought  of  as  to  why  they  wouldn't  label  him  a  responsible  parent.

Never  the  less  ,  she  nodded.   “  Oh  yeah.   All  these  years  of  work  and  I  forget  my  manners.  ”   She  regretted  those  words  the  second  she  uttered  them.         (  good  job!   he's  gonna  think  this  is  all  pleasantries.  )   Ellie  shook  the  thoughts  from  her  head  ,  ┈┈  crossing  over  to  the  table  he  set  up  for  them  and  dropping  her  backpack  on  the  floor  next  to  it.   Straightening  up  and  throwing  some  this  curls  back  over  her  shoulder  and  out  of  the  way.

There  was  a  pause  ,  ┈┈  longer  than  she  would  have  wanted  it  to  be  to  save  the  awkwardness.   Maybe  it  was  the  long  bus  ride  ,  maybe  it  was  her  worry  about  Preston.         (  or  maybe  it  was  all  that  on  top  of  the  fact  that  he  was  still  dressed  head  to  toe  in  deadpool.  )   Come  on  Ellie  hug  your  Dad  you  came  all  this  way!   After  that  pause  ,  a  good  few  seconds  worth  ,  she  threw  her  much  small  arms  around  him  for  that  hug  he'd  been  mentioning.   Good  thing  too  ,  ┈┈  considering  she'd  been  holding  in  her  worry  about  the  only  constant  family  she  had  known  the  whole  way  here.         (  this  was  the  first  time  she  thought  that  things  might  just  be  okay.  )

@cuteepool

In terms of the level of RESPECT that Weasel received in his life...well, he'd never really bothered to set high standards. He almost felt like the act of getting to know people better was something he couldn't be genuinely bothered to do. As a result, he coasted through life with just enough human interaction to keep him legally sane.

So, someone less than half of his age coming up to him and immediately inquiring about one of the more infamous mercs that he associated with, after ordering a SODA POP that one could get at literally any shop in the world...it wasn't a shock. Just another day in his life.

"Unfortunately, I'm not stoned. And more unfortunately, yes, I know th' guy. Thankfully the only person like Wade is WADE. One of a kind dick hole. And not the glory kind." Weasel reached for a glass before grabbing a root beer from the fridge, throwing some ice in the glass, and pouring the soda in before handing it over to her.

"Aren't you a little young and perky t' be duckin' into seedy dive bars an' lookin' for creeps with a wrap sheet? I'm no dad, but I'd venture t' say yours ain't doin' his job-..."

There was a sudden crash that came from the other side of the bar, near the entrance. That was followed by a domino effect of various men within the bar being shoved this way and that, a ruckus beginning to erupt in retaliation.

"GET OUTTA MY WAY, YOU MOUTH-BREATHING, DEGENERATE SKID-MARKS! I WILL END YOUR FREAKING BLOODLINES! MOOOOVE!"

At last, the cause of the chaos made himself seen. The man inhaled a gasp as he got a better look at the young lady, and the way his eyes welled up was really fucking irritating with his mask on, but he couldn't care less in that instant. He had seen that backpack from across the bar, and every accessory was a keepsake that Wade remembered even after so many years.

"Sweet Mother of Biblically Accurate Brown Jesus..." Wade took a couple of small steps closer to the young lady that he hadn't seen in about a decade.

"Ellie-Bellie...is that really you?" There had been a hush that had settled over the establishment, as even the scum-lords in there seemed to comprehend that this wasn't something to trifle with or interrupt. Not if they enjoyed BEING ALIVE.

YEAH  ,  SHE  WAS  SURE  SHE  WAS  IN  THE  RIGHT  PLACE  NOW.   And  not  just  because  she  was  so  sure  that  her  GPS  worked.         (  but  because  going  off  what  preston  said  about  her  dad's  friends  ..  this  was  definitely  the  right  place.  )   Brow  arched  in  surprise  when  he  revealed  he  was  sober.   Shame  for  him  ,  ┈┈  especially  if  he  was  owner  of  this  place.   An  uneasy  smile  was  offered  none  the  less  ,  he  still  might  be  able  to  help  her  find  her  dad  after  all.

While  his  assessment  of  her  dad  wasn't  wrong  ,  ┈┈  Ellie  couldn't  help  but  roll  her  eyes  at  the  rather  mature  description.   Starting  to  see  Preston's  reasons  for  cutting  contact  with  Wade  and  Ellie  a  little  more  here  and  there.   But  her  brow  did  furrow  a  bit  when  he  questioned  how  she  got  in.   “  Didn't  really  duck  in  so  much  as  just  walked  through  the  door.   By  the  way  ,  you  have  like  no  security  and  you  should  really  look  into  that.  ”

Woah  woah  woah!   Slow  down  Ellie.   ADHD  be  damned  ,         (  she  was  here  to  find  wade  not  dissect  this  guys  business  practice.  )   Before  she  could  round  back  to  his  rather  opinionated  but  true  assessment  of  her  dad's  parenting  style  ,  ┈┈  the  bar  erupted  in  a  commotion  that  was  only  fitting  of  …  well  a  Wilson.   And  just  like  how  she  remembered  him  too.

Eyes  went  wide  all  through  the  bar  ,  Ellie's  included  when  the  red  and  black  clad  merc  mad  his  rather  loud  entrance.   Nostalgia  pulled  at  her  heartstrings  ,  ┈┈  causing  a  little  giggle  when  his  very  real  threat  was  made  known.   Him  leaving  had  hurt  ,         (  and  was  admittedly  harder  than  she  would  have  ever  expected  ..  even  after  it  was  all  said  and  done.  )   but  for  just  a  moment  ,  ┈┈  Ellie  couldn't  help  but  smile  a  real  smile  since  Preston  had  gone  missing.   The  rest  of  the  occupants  of  the  bar  looked  at  the  father  and  daughter.   Clear  this  wasn't  for  them  ,  ┈┈  but  all  seemingly  unable  to  look  away  from  the  two  as  Ellie  realized  the  audience  they  were  holding.

"You are SO RIGHT, Ellie-Bellie." Wade nodded a couple of times in approval. "The House of Mouse explicitly told me that under no circumstances am I to raid a drug den in a foreign country that's been bought and paid for by the US Government in order to destabilize communities and make them more malleable to political division..."

Wade grabbed his mask as the final part of his ensemble, slipping it over his face and adjusting it, before holding up his index finger for emphasis and speaking once more.

"BUT...that was before those backstabbing, pearl-clutching LINT-LICKERS decided to let a very handsome man in his thirties not only talk about, but show him doing METH, while wearing a CHICKEN SUIT and broke bad all over people. Not only did they let golden boy get away with ALL OF THAT, he still got to be HOT in the end."

The merc reached for his Hello Kitty backpack and tightened the straps on his shoulders dramatically.

"So as recompense, they're gonna let me have some father-daughter MAIM AND SLAUGHTER.

UH  OH  …  DADDY  WAS  MAD  AT  DISNEY.   Which  meant  he  was  just  a  hair  trigger  away  from  doing  some  bat-shit  crazy  ,  ┈┈  evident  in  the  way  Ellie's  eyes  widened  at  his  attempt  to  sensor  himself.   Brow  furrowed  though  ,         (  tripping  up  on  some  of  his  claims  and  tried  to  recall  what  she  remembered.  )   It  was  pretty  hard  t'focus  on  the  PLOT  with  those  abs  though.

“  Your  just  jealous  ,  cause  Bo  Burnham  minus  the  asshole  got  juiced  up  and  got  t'keep  the  six  pack  and  that  Hollywood  quality  skin.  ”   She  mused  ,  ┈┈  skipping  her  way  to  follow  along.   Grabbing  her  own  bag  and  mask  in  the  process.

Time  fighting  crime  was  time  fighting  crime  though.   Even  if  it  was  fueled  by  a  slighted  Wade  Wilson.

tw(s): swearing, suggestive,

"i lied."

"i lied better."

"can you be a little bit more gentle?! a little gentleness goes a long way."

"I'm being told it's like the WNBA but all dudes"

“I’m so sore from creating my own path.”

"haha, try to bang me now, bitch!"

"are you kidding? that's unfair."

"i need to calm down. everything's fine. i'm an adult."

"i'm going to sell them to my sisters if you don't buy them right now."

"okay, i'm not blowing shit up your ass. this is so good."

"i don't think that's the saying."

"you're getting glare? well, i'm getting fucked."

"i fear i'm losing the room."

"are you afraid of frogs?"

"how did you know that?"

"would you rather hold a tiny little frog or dress like one?"

"ew, what if it tries to fuck me?"

"what attracted you to me?"

"am i the asshole?"

"have you gotten zero points so far?"

"i'm not getting married."

"they say you're funnier when you're taken."

"there are children watching!"

"the vibe is sexless in an okay way."

"cousin energy."

"museums are jail for culture."

"you got that fat ass."

"can you tell i'm nervous?"

"do you have any advice for me?"

"he's a ten, but he doesn't chew gum."

"okay, but i like you. that's all you need to know."

"My goodness, she is your friend!"

"She thought you were kidnepapped!!"

"Bitch! Tell her that, too."

Krypto the Superdog and Jeff the Landshark