currrentfixations

weak hero class:

park humin [baku]:

the cut that always bleeds

the cut that always bleeds 2

green-eyed boy

jealous

one last time

you're just like me

ahn suho:

piece by piece

yeon sieun:

alike

go hyuntak [gotak]:

the morning had started quiet, a little too quiet. the normal nuisance that followed you around had not arrived and he was suspiciously late. your best bet was the basketball court, but you knew even if you didn't find him, you'd find his counterpart.

"hi gogo, you know where mini is?"

hyuntak paused, rolling his eyes at you. "___, stop calling me that-"

"what are you gonna do about it?" you replied, poking your tongue out at hyuntak.

"no he's not coming, he got suspended for fighting at the underpass" hyuntak sighed.

"that punk didn't even tell me. oh well thanks gogo, you're the best. love youuuu" you sang.

you whipped out your phone, sending humin a message.

you [7:47am]: hey mini did you forget to mention something to me mini 🤼 [7:48am]: no??? you [7:48am]: why tf are you awake so early if you're suspended mini 🤼 [7:49am]: oh that lol mini 🤼 [7:50am]: yeah your badass best friend got suspended for a fight mini 🤼 [7:50am]: dw i won you [7:51am]: girl bye 🫩 mini 🤼 [7:51am]: aw you can't survive a couple days at school without me? 😞 you reacted '🖕' to mini 🤼's message at 7:51am

slipping your phone back into your pocket, you made your way to class.

there were rumours floating around that you were getting a new student. there were also rumours that he put someone in a coma at his last school but you didn't really believe that.

this was eunjang, it was hard to believe anything that came out of anyone's mouth here.

as you sat down in your seat, your phone buzzed a couple more times but it was too late to check as your teacher had walked in.

"good morning class, we have a new student. make sure you give them a warm welcome."

"hi. i'm yeon sieun."

that's it? this was the kid who had supposedly put someone in a coma. it was hard to believe when he looked like one of santa's little helpers.

silence filled the room, before your teacher cleared her throat.

"ahem, there's a seat next to ___. that'll be your seat for the rest of the year."

you watched as sieun walked over to you, noticing how everyones eyes shifted away from him as he looked around the room.

wow. so people actually believed the rumour.

sieun pulled out his chair and sat down next to you without a word. completely calm and unbothered by the 15 pairs of eyes sneaking glances at him.

you gave him five seconds to settle in before leaning over.

"...so," you whispered, "you actually do something crazy at your last school? or everyone just dramatic?"

"...no" sieun responded without looking at you.

"hm.. okay i believe you" you smiled, still looking at him. you were curious, curious about the truth and the variations of the rumours about him.

you continued staring at him, waiting for a response or reaction, anything really, even a slight twitch but sieun remained completely still and continued to stare at the chalkboard.

'humin would've cracked some stupid joke by now and probably melted this dude's cold facade' you thought to yourself.

right on cue, your phone buzzed a few times.

mini 🤼 [7:53am]: LMFAO not you ignoring the question mini 🤼 [7:54am]: it's okay i know the answer 😉 mini 🤼 [7:54am]: you love me and it's okay to be in denial mini 🤼 [8:18am]: HELLO??? mini 🤼 [8:19am]: stop ignoring me mini 🤼 [8:19am]: fake friend alert mini 🤼 [8:20am]: gotak would've never done this to me you [8:21am]: i'm in class dumbass you [8:21am]: and the only thing i'm in denial about is the fact that it's exam season already mini 🤼 [8:21am]: wow rude mini 🤼 [8:22am]: after everything i've done for you you [8:23am]: okay firstly, like i said exams are coming up and unlike you i care about my grades you [8:23am]: secondly, DON'T COMPARE ME TO GOGO. he would answer bc he also doesn't care about class you [8:24am]: AND FINALLY, when have you ever done something for me that doesn't indirectly benefit you 🤨🤨 mini 🤼 [8:26am]: i have done many things you [8:27am]: like what??

you bit back a smile. you knew what humin was going to do because he had no examples.

mini 🤼 [8:29am]: lots of things mini 🤼 [8:29am]: anywaysss mini 🤼 [8:29am]: topic change you [8:30am]: .... you [8:30am]: we got a new student mini 🤼 [8:30am]: ugly?

you glanced at sieun, taking a moment to really look at him. like you said even though he looks like santa's little helper height wise, he was in no way ugly.

you [8:33am]: no mini 🤼 [8:33am]: stronger than me? you [8:34am]: relax bakugo you [8:34am]: you're already suspended mini 🤼 [8:35am]: that is not an answer you [8:36am]: idk maybe??? mini 🤼 [8:37am]: ??? mini 🤼 [8:37am]: say that again mini 🤼 [8:38am]: slowly and very quietly mini 🤼 [8:38am]: so you can hear the sound of my heart shattering you [8:39am]: you're so dramatic

placing your phone down, you leaned towards sieun again while still looking at the chalkboard.

"psst hey," you whispered "totally random question." you hoped that he would answer you, considering he wasn't very talkative before.

"..what?"

"do you know how to fight?"

silence.

"no."

you turn your head towards sieun, squinting at him. "you hesitated."

"i didn't."

"you so did."

"i did not."

"whatever you say buddy." you grinned at sieun and for the first time, he turned his head ever so slightly to glance at you.

"you talk a lot." you could sense the mild annoyance in his tone.

"wow. rude." you spoke, trying your absolute hardest to muffle your laugh. you were surprised he was engaging in the conversation with you this long.

"you started it." sieun muttered. this was progress, you thought he'd tell you to kick rocks by now.

"did i though?"

"yes."

"okay so rude AND wrong." you gasped, placing your hand over your chest feigning offence.

before you could say anything else, sieun turned back to face the board. too late, you spoke too soon.

it’s okay, you knew you’ll get through to him. and if you don’t, you know someone who will.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

as you waited at the gate for hyuntak, you kicked the rocks in your vicinity. from the corner of your eye, you noticed sieun walking towards the gate and juntae following behind.

"hi juntae!!" you waved.

"oh hi ___!" juntae replied, giving you the sweetest yet the most painfully awkward smile.

"i didn't know you and sieun were friends." truthfully, you knew that they knew each other. you'd overheard the homeroom teacher ask juntae to show sieun around but you wouldn't call them friends per say.

based on sieun's expression, he wouldn't call juntae his friend either. but to be fair, it doesn't seem like he'd call anyone his friend based on your interaction with him.

"we're not." okay, ouch. juntae is the last person who deserves that.

"its okay. denial is normal sieun, we can change that." you can't believe you just repeated what humin said to you less than 9 hours ago.

"i'm not."

you nodded sympathetically, "like i said, it's very normal. juntae you've been promoted to best friend."

"sorry.. whose best friend?" juntae looked at you with wide eyes.

"both, sieun's and mine. give me your phone number and sieun's i'll add you to my group chat."

"oh okay.." juntae said, meekly.

"i did not agree to that." sieun spoke.

"why are you forcing friendships like it's a project?" hyuntak asked as he walked up.

"hi gogo! i'm not forcing, i'm requesting duh." you grinned.

"leave them alone ___. let's go, baku is waiting for us." hyuntak shook his head, tugging on your arm.

quickly turning around, you waved goodbye to juntae and sieun.

gaangmini 🤼 [12:37pm]: come over after school mini 🤼 [12:37pm]: i'm dying of boredom gogo🥋 [4:52pm]: we're on our way gogo🥋 [4:52pm]: ___ was busy terrorising the new kid and juntae mini 🤼 [4:53pm]: you're too quiet ___ mini 🤼 [4:53pm]: are you cheating on me? you [4:55pm]: lies i wasn't terrorising anyone you [4:55pm]: i was merely expanding our group you [4:55pm]: and yes mini 🤼 [4:55pm]: wow, with who mini 🤼 [4:56pm]: i deserve to know his name you [4:56pm]: new kid mini 🤼 [4:57pm]: do not come to my town gogo🥋 [4:58pm]: stop flirting you [4:59pm]: mini wishes i'd flirt with him mini 🤼 [4:59pm]: more like you'd wish you [5:00pm]: no thank you, i've witnessed your flirting and the reactions it gets first hand mini 🤼 [5:01pm]: say that to my face you [5:01pm]: bet

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

you added 'juntae 👓' and 'sieun 😐' to the group chat at 5:12pm

"the door's unlocked." hyuntak said, twisting the knob.

"of course it is." you rolled your eyes.

you walked in, hyuntak following close behind. kicking your shoes off, you yelled out.

"mini you're gonna get robbed one day if you keep leaving your door unlocked!"

"if i get robbed, i'll call you and then i'll rob them back." his voice came from inside.

as you entered the living room, you find humin sprawled on the couch with his arm over his face.

"what the hell am i gonna do?? also if you get robbed, that's on you, i'm not helping." you scoffed.

humin sat up immediately, fake wiping a tear off his face, to which you giggled in response.

you loved humin, he was your bestest friend. hyuntak too, of course. but the connection you shared with humin was different.

humin understood you, in ways others couldn't, and he was always there. regardless of whether you deserved it or not. even when your tone came out harsher than intended or when you pushed him away.

sitting down next to him, you held your hand out, waiting for humin to place his hand in yours.

once he did, you inspected humans knuckles. as you expected, they were busted, and a little swollen too.

"you're such an idiot." you rolled eyes at him. calling out to hyuntak, you requested him to bring out the first aid kit.

"i won though." humin retorted, sticking his tongue out at you. sometimes, you really questioned humin's logic. like him winning cancels out the fact that it was stupid to fight with hyomans guys at the underpass.

shaking your head at him, you replied. "one day you're gonna pick a fight with the wrong person."

"nah," he said, glancing at you, "i've got you."

you paused for a second, then scoffed. "wow. i've just got demoted to backup fighter."

"no but you're scary."

"i can't believe you."

"like actually terrifying." humin was not helping his case at all.

dropping his hand, you pushed his shoulder. "shut up. i'm this close to demoting you to acquaintance."

"wait. no." humin places his hands on your shoulders, trying to force you into a hug. you placed your hands in front of you, preventing him from getting any closer and within seconds, it turned into a wrestling match.

"GET OFF." you laughed, trying to push humin away.

"TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID."

"NO."

"TAKE IT BACK. YOU KNOW WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT." did you though? you did, but it's fun to fuck with him.

"NEVERRRR." you sang, still trying to get humin's hands off you.

humin stopped moving suddenly, going silent. squinting at him, you questioned his silence.

"...you're smiling weirdly." he spoke.

"what the hell are you talking about?" what does that even mean?

"you're smiling like you're in love with me." you blinked once. then twice. your brain was short-circuiting.

after you rebooted, you immediately recoiled. "eww no! more like you're flirting with me. why are you paying so much attention to my smile?"

now it was humin's turn to recoil. "GROSS NO."

you burst out laughing, pointing at humin's cheeks and the fact that he was blushing.

"i am NOT."

"it's okay mini.. i know i'm super charming. you just can't help it." you cackled.

"SHUT UP."

grabbing a pillow off the couch, humin smacked you square in the face. you retaliated, grabbing a pillow to smack him back.

amidst the chaos, hyuntak walked out with the first aid kit. finally. he stood still for a moment, taking in the scene unveiling before him.

"here's the first aid kit..." he muttered. hyuntak carefully placed the kit on the table in front of you, backing away slowly.

"gogo, mini's in love with me." you spoke, dropping the pillow in your lap, forgetting all about your goal to smack humin back.

"...no he's not??"

"see?? even gotak knows that it is the other way around."

"no she's not baku."

"HA." in response to his statement, you fist bumped the air.

"he said no to you as well??" humin questioned your celebration.

"he hesitated when i said it was you in love with me."

"HE DID NOT!" humin whined.

"yeah," hyuntak spoke flatly, "i should've just gone home."

you and humin paused, then looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"he's just jealous." humin said.

"definitely." you nodded along before bursting into laughter again.

"okay okay, lock in. let me bandage you up." grabbing the first aid kit, you placed humin's hand in your lap and got to work.

after patching humin up, you told him about your conversation with the new kid and your goal of making him the newest addition to your friend group along with juntae.

humin agreed to help you, well duh you were just so convincing (you weren't, he agreed to help for his own enjoyment).

to which hyuntak yelled at you both to leave the poor guys alone. but of course, you two spent the rest of the night devising a plan rather than studying for exams.

you and humin were the epitome of 'if you do it, i'll do it' which was very stupid considering it always put you in strange positions but you wouldn't have it any other way.

"dude and you know what she said the other day. she-" go hyuntak, your best friend since diapers was currently gushing — yes, gushing — about you to humin.

"bro as much as i love you and ___. can you shut up about her for two seconds. or just ask her out already. put us all out of misery so we don't have to hear you talk about ___ 24/7." humin groaned.

it wasn't a lie though, he did love you and hyuntak and hyuntak did talk about you constantly. when the three of you were together, you and hyuntak never failed to make humin feel single even though the two of you weren’t together.

"dude shut up. i do not talk about her that much and i can't ask her out, i don't want to ruin our friendship."

"dude omg. are you serious. can you be any more stupid?" humin moaned. just like how you were unaware about hyuntak's feelings for you, he was blissfully oblivious to the feelings you had for him.

"i didn't think he could be, but he is" sieun piped in, hiding a soft smile behind his usual cold demeanour.

"yeah. right. i'm not taking advice from people who have never been in a relationship" hyuntak scoffed.

you didn't like him, did you? no way, humin seemed more your type. humin was bright and social, just like you. whereas hyuntak was slightly reserved and cold towards people he didn't know.

"anyways i'm heading to the library" sieun announced, pulling hyuntak out of his thoughts.

"alright man, see you later"

as sieun took off, you appeared.

"good morning to my two favourite basketball players" you sang, wrapping your arms around hyuntak and humin's shoulders as you walked through the school gates.

"two? i thought i was your only favourite" hyuntak pouted.

"of course you are gotak" you replied, stifling a grin. in the same beat, you turned around and viciously shook your head no, mouthing "you're my favourite" to humin.

"i can see you, you know" hyuntak rolled his eyes, shaking your arm off his shoulders.

"i was just kidding, what's got his panties in a twist?" you questioned while watching his retreating figure.

"we said that he couldn't go a full 24 hours without talking about you and i'm assuming he's trying to prove me and sieun wrong" humin smirked.

"what? about me?" you found it hard to believe he talked about anything apart from basketball and taekwondo.

"yep. if it was a sport in the olympics he'd be winning all the gold medals."

and if you were in a cartoon right now, your jaw would've been unhinged right through the floor.

"you're joking."

"nope, if i got money every time i heard '___ would know what to do' or 'i wish ___ was here' i'd be a millionaire by now" humin shook his head, grinning.

you stopped in your tracks momentarily. could he possibly like you the same way? no way. you were loud and annoying like a female version of humin. and whilst hyuntak loved humin, you were positive he didn’t want to date the girl version of his best friend.

"he brings you up all the time" humin added, "we could be practicing and he'll be like "___ could've made that shot. honestly it's kinda impressive but also sorta terrifying."

unbeknownst to you, even though hyuntak was walking in front of you and humin, he could hear everything being said. but it was before you could reply that he had already walked away.

you felt kind of warm and fuzzy inside despite the fact that it was crisp, cold day. "oh my god. that is so-"

"pathetic? weird? stalkerish?" humin completed.

"i was going to say cute, but thanks for that" you giggled in response.

you pull away from humin as you entered your classroom, you told him you'll see him at lunch.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

you were graduating in a week and you were freaking out. you weren't ready to be an adult. the thought honestly made you sick. the routine you’ve had for the past 3 years and loved so much would be shattered in a matter of days.

the snack breaks with humin, the study sessions with sieun. hyuntak's presence, every waking moment. your eyes scan the room, everyone was laughing, smiling, having a good time. were you the only one that felt like this?

your phone buzzed. you quietly slide it onto your lap, worried you'd be caught by your homeroom teacher.

diaper buddy 👫 [12:16pm]: hey. you ok? you [12:16pm]: yes, just going though a midlife crisis 🫡 diaper buddy 👫 [12:16pm]: you're only 18??? diaper buddy 👫 [12:17pm]: you're not due for one for another 22 years you [12:16pm]: okay mr.literal an existential crisis then. diaper buddy 👫 [12:17pm]: whatever it is, don't worry about it. i'm here. diaper buddy 👫 [12:17pm]: i'll bring you snacks at lunch you [12:18pm]: thank u 😚 you [12:18pm]: what would i do without u diaper buddy 👫 [12:18pm]: uh idk. probably lose your mind from the crises you have every 2 minutes. you [12:19pm]: uh rude ✋ diaper buddy 👫 reacted '😛' to your message

you looked at hyuntak, who was sitting two rows in front of you. he was smiling at his phone.

your cheeks felt warm. 'whatever it is, don't worry about it. i'm here.' lord, you were ready to get down on one knee and propose to this guy.

before you could think about what hyuntak meant in his message, the bell rang. your analysis could wait, it was time for lunch.

just as you were about to step out into the hallway, hyuntak's voice stopped you.

"hey, i have to stay back and talk to teach. i texted humin, he should have your snacks."

your face dropped ever so slightly. no. this was better, it stopped you from making any dumb decisions like saying 'hey hyuntak, i'm madly in love with you and have been since middle school'.

"okay. thank you, love you."

"love you too."

there was nothing weird about saying love you to each other. you had done it before you could even remember. you'd say it when he gave you a bandaid after you hurt yourself. he'd say it when you brought him ice-cream impromptu.

as you stepped out, your eyes landed on humin. he was holding two small convenience store snack bags like some sort of delivery angel.

"what do you feel like? candy or chocolate?" he asked, shaking both bags in front of you.

"both, please" you replied.

"okay, what's going on?" humin said as he handed you the candy bag first.

"i don't know. graduation. i'm scared everything is changing too fast. i don't know what will happen with us" you were worried that you guys would drift apart. "or with hyuntak" you added, quietly.

"are you worried about our friendship group, or hyuntak?" humin teased.

"i'm serious baku" you tried to put on the serious face you could, but it didn't last long when you saw humin's wide grin. you knew he was only trying to lighten the mood.

"hey. i know." humin started, softer this time.

"i get it, it's scary. but nothing you are thinking of will happen. we're all still be here right next to you. plus you can't get rid of me that easy" he winked.

"thank you. seriously what would i do without you?"

"hmm..." humin paused, striking an exaggerated thinking pose. "probably not get your daily sugar hit."

this was the second time today that you got clocked and honestly you weren't mad. it proved to you how well your best friends knew you and how much they cared.

"you- shut up!" you yelled, your laugh filling up the courtyard.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

one more day til graduation. just one. and the frigid air was making you lose your mind.

you were no longer as scared as you were before. don't get it twisted, you were still extremely frightened but slightly less than before.

you had your crew, your best friends. the final bell had rang, and your entire classroom had erupted into cheers. excited for their new found freedom.

you stood still at your desk for a second, taking in your classmates enthusiasm. everyone slowly filtered out, screams echoing through the hallways.

you scanned the classroom, looking for hyuntak. as you locked eyes, he mouthed 'be right back'. you nodded in response.

before you could do or say anything else, seonga and doyeon engulfed you in a hug. both of them crying, swearing up and down that they were happy tears, as you wrapped your arms around them.

"i can't believe we're done" doyeon uttered, "it feels like we just started."

"i know, i love you guys so much. we better stay best friends" seonga cried.

pulling away, you wiped their tears. "stop, you guys are gonna make me cry-" tears were already welling up in your eyes. "and of course we will, we're the three musketeers remember" you giggled.

after a 1000 goodbyes and many hugs, you finally made your way to the gate where your duo was waiting. as you got closer, you could hear what they were talking about.

"bro can you shut up. i'm genuinely shitting bricks."

"you're such a wuss dude. i would've done it by now."

"yeah and gotten rejected because you flirt with every girl that walks past."

"hey guys what are you talking about?" you asked as you slung your arms around them.

"gotak is gonna ask out this girl he's been crushing on since forever" humin stated, smirking at the fact that he just threw hyuntak under the bus.

hyuntak stiffened under your arm. and that motion caused you to remove your arms off their shoulders.

oh um. so clearly you had read the signs wrong. but you had your answer now and you were just happy to still have your best friend.

"oh nice-"

humin opened his mouth to speak, registering that you had read the situation wrong but you cut him off.

"i can't believe we've basically graduated guys, isn't that insane?" you quickly diverted the topic.

"yeah… it is crazy" humin agreed.

"anywho, i wanted to quickly give you guys a hug and then get going. i have to get ready for tomorrow" you smiled, quickly speaking before humin had the chance to redirect the conversation to the initial topic.

"oh okay, see you tomorrow!" hyuntak smiled at you.

you wrapped your arms around both of them, patting their backs.

"see you guys tomorrow!" you waved before walking away.

you smile dropped slightly as you turned around, tomorrow will be the last time you ever step foot in eunjang high.

-

"dude are you serious? what if she realised we were talking about her?" hyuntak muttered while elbowing humin in the stomach.

"bro you actually are stupid" humin scoffed, rubbing his temples. how could one be so dense?

"yeah i'm not the one with a 99iq."

"man that was one time and i told you, i ran out of time. i'm never telling you anything again."

"who the hell runs out of time?"

hyuntak was finally confessing to you just like humin wanted.

he wanted it too, but he was just scared. of rejection, of losing you. but he didn't want to graduate with what-ifs.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

with your luck, you graduated on the coldest day of the month yet. despite the fact that it felt like the universe was signalling your ending, the ceremony went well. and because you didn't cry yesterday, you couldn't stop crying today.

you, doyeon, and seonga held each other for a solid 5 minutes bawling your eyes out, taking turns wiping each others tears. thankfully you had taken photos well before the waterworks started, so you didn’t have grad pics with swollen eyes and a tear stained face.

you decided to get away from the chaos for a bit. currently sitting on this bench that you held very close to your heart. even though it wasn't the exact bench, it was the same as the one at eunjang middle school.

during the first year of middle school, it was this bench where humin's friendship blossomed with you.

hyuntak had been put in another class and was unaware that you didn't have any friends. until one lunchtime, he'd seen you sitting alone on this beat-up, tucked away bench.

he had quietly watched you going to that bench for a couple of days before he'd forced humin to come with him to hang out with you, telling him that he'd rather be friendless and with you than you being alone.

you sat there, smiling to yourself. you'd gotten really lucky. and it didn't even matter to you that hyuntak liked another girl because who ever got him would also be really lucky.

you were broken out of your trance when you heard huffing in the distance. out of the corner of your eye, you saw hyuntak in the distance, hunched over with his hands on his knees.

"there you are, i've been looking all over for you" he huffed, as he caught his breath.

"you're not very fit for a basketball player" you grinned.

"shut up. i've been running around for 13 minutes" hyuntak laughed, as he parked himself in front of you.

"what's up? how'd your confession go, did she agree? i wanna meet her" you tumbled out while looking up at him with sparkling eyes. one of the very things about you that he'd fallen in love with.

"don't know. haven't asked her yet."

"why not, what if she ends up leaving?"

"i need your permission" he stated calmly.

you, on the other hand, were freaking out. the last thing you wanted was the potential girlfriend to be unhappy with your friendship.

"what are you talking about? you don't need my permission."

"i can't be your friend anymore" okay so he lied. he did confess and his girlfriend already wants you out of his life.

noticing the change in your facial expression, hyuntak decided to take a different approach and changed his words.

clearing his throat, he spoke up again.

"sorry... let me start again- what i meant was i don't want to be your friend anymore."

"uh, how is that supposed to be any better then what you said before?"

"can i be your boyfriend?"

oh okay. wait, what?

before you could even say anything, you saw hyuntak fumbling a keychain out of his blazer. it had a crocheted tulip, your favourite flower, and a small basketball.

you softly smiled, currently unaware that you had been silent for the past 2 minutes whilst hyuntak was spiralling. you stood up.

"uh just consider it your graduation gift-"

you cut him off, as you wrapped your arms around his tall frame.

"yes-" you breathed out, "i want to be your girlfriend… i want you to be my boyfriend."

hyuntak mirrored your movement, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you tight.

when you both finally pulled away, you couldn't stop smiling.

"sooo... should we go tell our friends? i know baku is going to be very excited" you beamed.

"yeah. he's been trying to get me to confess since the end of middle school" hyuntak sighed.

you understood because when humin wanted to convince you to do something, he tended to be very annoying about it.

"wait, are you serious? hyuntak i've liked you since the end of middle school too."

"so you're telling me we could've been together if i'd just confessed."

you burst out laughing, and within seconds hyuntak joined in.

"baku was right, we really are idiots" he groaned.

"it's okay, we can be idiots together" you grinned, lacing your hands with his.

as you walked away, hand in hand, hyuntak stopped, fumbling out yet another keychain.

"this one's mine, yours has a basketball and mine has glasses bc you're weirdly smart."

you giggled at his cuteness, pulling his hand so you could make your way back to your friend group.

you couldn't wait to see everyone's reactions, especially both of your mothers'. they had been waiting on this day since you two were basically born.

"hey" this time you stopped, pulling hyuntak's hand towards you. "-i love you."

"i love you too, always have and always will."

surely it wouldn’t be too early to propose. would it?

sorry but i had to put in the classic 'parents wanted them together since birth' trope.

the first time you bumped into sieun, it was an accident. he had been sleeping at his desk and your bag had bumped his hand as you walked past. he didn't say much — just looked up, stared at you for a few moments and then laid his head back down.

you didn't apologise. you stared right back at him. his cheek was red from where it had been pressed to the sleeve of his blazer, and his eyes, tired.

you weren't scared of sieun. there wasn't really anything scary about him, at least to you. but you'd noticed the way classmates whispered around him, barely making eye contact.

you were taken aback. your classmates hardly acknowledged you, and when they did, they'd avoid holding your gaze. but sieun? he had let his eyes linger on you, as if he was trying to tell you that he knew of your presence.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

the second time you saw sieun, it wasn't because you had bumped into him. it was because you had ran into juntae.

juntae had looked at you through his square glasses, glasses that appeared entirely too big for his face. he'd been meekly apologising while sieun stood next to him looking disinterested.

'it's okay' you had replied quickly, brushing past them.

you tried to limit your interactions with other students. unlike everyone else at school, you weren't korean. well, technically you were? you had been adopted by your parents almost immediately after you were born and had lived in korea your whole life but you weren't korean.

you found it difficult to make friends. since elementary school, classmates made assumptions about you and talked about what you were like rather than coming to talk to you.

and after a point, it began to irk you. so you just kept to yourself and focused on studying and working.

but, riding solo hadn't helped your case at all. the standoffish behaviour ended up making you a target for bullies and when your parents kept seeing you come home with bruises and cuts, it became too much for them to bear causing you to change schools three times in the past two years.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

soon after, you kept seeing sieun everywhere you went. the underpass, the convenience store, the bookstore where you worked part-time. but every time you saw him, it seemed as if there was an extra head next to him.

it started with seo juntae. then go hyuntak. then park humin.

you felt a bitter taste in your mouth. in terms of personality you both were alike — quiet, withdrawn, sorta standoffish. it wasn't that you were jealous of him, more so of his ability to gain friends without even trying.

every time you saw him, you caught yourself staring. to you, sieun looked just like you. not in terms of physical features but in the way he carried himself. aloof, distant, like someone who’d learned early on that being misunderstood was easier than constantly explaining yourself.

what you hadn't noticed was that sieun knew you were staring at him. it never bothered him, people stared at him all the time. but for some reason when it was you, it did.

you never snuck glances, not like most people did. you looked at him with intensity, like you were studying him, scrutinising every crack and crevice.

even now, as you stood behind the counter at the bookstore, your eyes were constantly lingering on sieun. only pulling away when customers waited to be rung up.

"excuse me?" — "oh, sorry."

___, get a grip and focus. you quickly glanced back at where sieun was, he wasn't there anymore. your eyes darted all around the bookstore before they landed on the person in front of you.

"you stare a lot." shit, you thought you had been subtle. you had a bad habit of staring but others around you lacked spatial awareness and never realised that you were staring at them.

"you do too." sieun's face dropped. his usually composed expression faltered just long enough for you to catch it. you had taken a chance by saying that, but you were glad to know the feeling was mutual.

"it's weird, most people don't realise when i stare at them."

"yeah, i'm not most people." sieun replied, his voice low.

you suddenly felt self-conscious, aware that it was only you and him in the store.

clearing your throat, you changed the subject. "where are all the extra heads that are around you usually?"

sieun cocked an eyebrow at your question.

"why?"

you were just trying to make conversation. he was worse than you.

rolling your eyes you asked whether he wanted to buy something because you had to close soon. you were lying, the store would be open for another 30 minutes. but something about his presence was making you restless.

sieun placed a mathematics textbook in front of you. you wondered why he was purchasing a textbook, he usually slept during all of the class periods.

"that'll be 20,000 won." sieun handed you the money and walked out before you could hand him his change or ask if he wanted a receipt.

"asshole." the word slipped out before you could stop it and you immediately regretted it. you'd probably do the same thing to your classmates, which in a way meant you were one too. but you would wait to receive your change, you couldn't afford to just leave 30,000 won.

you glanced at the clock. 22 minutes until close.

-

locking the door behind you, you noticed a figure in the distance. as you neared, you realised it was sieun.

"why are you standing out here like a stalker?" his choice in clothing wasn't helping either. he wore black zip-up and grey t-shirt with a pair of black jeans. all while his black cap was pulled low and he was leaning against the wall. typical stalker behaviour.

"you didn't give me my change." you raised an eyebrow at him. thankfully you had grabbed his change and placed it in your bag. you'd assumed he went home so you were going to give it to him at school tomorrow.

"it's not that i didn't give you the change, you didn't give me the chance to hand it to you." you rebutted, shoving three 10,000 won bills into his hand.

ignoring what you said, sieun continued "let's go. i'll drop you home."

"that's okay." you politely refused, walking away. you got two minutes down the road before you realised sieun had been following you. as you turned around, he stopped in his tracks.

"if you're gonna follow me anyways, walk next to me. don't loom behind me, people are going to get the wrong idea." if he didn't look like a stalker before, he definitely did now.

you turned back around and began walking. in the background, you heard sieun's shuffling feet as he caught up to you.

"you remind me of me —" you weren't sure what made you suddenly confess. maybe it was the atmosphere of the late night, or maybe deep down you thought sieun would understand what you meant.

"— sorry, i don't know why i said that. but it seems like you would get it, what it feels like to not really be understood by anyone."

"guess that's not a good thing, being like me." you looked over at sieun, unable to read his expression.

"that's not what i meant." you felt defensive. "nevermind, i thought you'd understand."

you both continued to walk in silence until sieun spoke up.

"i do."

"huh?" you were caught off guard.

"i do understand. what it feels like."

"oh." you didn't know how to reply. even though you had started the conversation, you didn't have a plan on how to lead it. you'd half-assumed that he wouldn't reply to what you said.

"yeah." it was surprising hearing those words from sieun. it was the last thing you'd expected.

"i didn't expect you to answer. i thought you'd brush off what i said, like others." you'd never confided in others. you couldn't tell your parents and break their hearts even more. you had no siblings, and you rather not confide in your boss or coworkers. even though you were close to them, they were all older than you and it felt silly to complain about it.

"it's easier for them to do that. you just need to find the right person to listen."

"but isn't it easier to just keep your distance from everyone?" it felt odd that sieun, out of all people, was telling you to open up to others.

"it is." sieun paused, he wasn't sure where to go from here. "but the right person won't make you feel like that. like an outsider."

"thank you. for letting me confide in you. truthfully, i hadn't spoken to anyone about this."

"i know." sieun replied, nonchalantly.

you whipped around, eyes wide. clearly you weren't the only one who was observant. how did he know though? and on cue, as if he'd read your mind, sieun replied answering your silent question.

"if you had, then you would've heard what i said a million times before. plus you said we're alike, people like us don't really open up that easily."

unable to hold back you let out a soft giggle at how easily and quickly he had read you. and for the first time during the walk, sieun looked over at you.

"it's easy to talk to you. i don't understand why people are so terrified of you at school. maybe its because you don't take anyone's bullshit."

the corner of sieun's lips tugged up slightly before deflating again. you knew the rumours surrounding him, but you didn't believe them. he just didn't seem like the guy.

the rest of the way, the two of you walked towards your home in complete silence, but somehow it didn't feel awkward. as you reached the door, you thanked sieun for walking you home.

and sieun, being the personable guy he was, just stared at you. but you could see the ghost of a smile on his face.

as you shut door behind you, you heard a sheet of paper slide under the doorway. picking up the paper, you read what was written on it.

'you are too. easy to talk to.'

you smiled to yourself. had you just connected with the most intimidating guy at school?

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

slowly, it became routine for sieun to come by the bookstore and wait til closing to drop you home. some days he'd be alone, silently browsing and sneaking glances at you while you served customers. other days the rest of the boys would tumble in, wreaking havoc as their loud voices would fill up the small store.

at first you didn't know how to react. you weren't used to this, no one ever made the effort to talk to you, to listen, to get to know you. but gradually, it became something you looked forward to.

it was odd though, how quickly it become normal for you. there were days when sieun was late, you'd constantly look out the window. his appearance had become less of a surprise and more of an expectation.

it was surprising to you how easily you were added to the group. though you still kept to yourself, talking very little, they worked with it, with you.

you never realised that this was what you had been missing because you'd become so complacent with being alone. it was easier for you to keep the everyone at arm's length and just exist. but their presence had became a pleasant reminder that you weren't invisible.

sieun was right, you just had to find the right people. and thanks to him, you did.

you were still able to recall the day you were admitted to the hospital. it felt as though you were floating outside of your body, watching the doctors wheel you into the surgery room.

you vividly remembered when the words, "i'm afraid you won't be able to play volleyball anymore" were spoken to you. you were heartbroken. volleyball had been your life, a core part of your identity — it basically was your identity.

at the age of 12 — with a pair of braces, a lisp, and an awful haircut — you ran to your mother. you had a dream, you had become an olympic volleyball player and won a gold medal.

after that day, you began attending volleyball club, you joined your schools team, and whenever you had free time you'd always be seen with a volleyball in your hand. you did anything and everything you could to improve your skills. and you had, you'd become one of the top players in your area and captain of haedong high's volleyball team.

6 years, 6 whole years you had devoted to the sport. and one wrong move during a game made it all go down the drain.

now you were here, at sungang university hospital. you sat on the edge of your bed, facing the window. the sun was gleaming through, hurting your already tear-ridden eyes.

your brain kept replaying flashbacks of your injury. the dive. the moment. the pain. you couldn't do this, you had to get out of here. you felt confined.

you were pulled out of your spiral suddenly when you heard the curtain surrounding your bed being pulled. turning around you saw a boy. a boy with jet black hair and bangs that were almost too long, threatening to poke his eyes.

wiping away your tears, you spoke up.

"can i help you?" the boy stared back at you with wide eyes, still processing what was happening. he looked your age — he was probably your age, if not a year older.

"oh. sorry." he smiled, lifting his hand up, continuing to stare at you.

"it's okay. can you please close the curtain?" it was embarrassing that he'd seen you crying so you quickly accepted his apology. you turned back around, expecting him to close the curtain and leave.

"i'm suho." he introduced himself. any other time, you would have gotten angry and screamed to be left alone. but this could be good, this could be a distraction.

"hi suho. i'm ___." you spoke quietly.

"sorry about disturbing you. i was moved into this room and i wasn't told that there was someone else here."

you were glad that you were sharing the room with someone else after being alone for almost a week. the silence had been suffocating, and the emptiness made it feel like there was no end to your isolation. but now, with someone else's presence — even if they were a stranger — the room felt livelier. hearing suho's voice, the rustling of his hospital gown, made you feel like you weren't completely trapped in your head anymore.

"that's okay." you offered him a polite smile, hoping it didn't look forced.

you didn't know how to continue, how were you supposed to make small talk in a place like this. it wasn't like you could just ask what he was in the hospital for. it would be too awkward. you had already tried it during your first week, in the courtyard.

it was like an unspoken rule, you'd exchange reasons with people, then apologise to one another even though your injury had nothing to do with them and their injury had nothing to do with you. you'd bond over the pain and hurt for a moment and then that's where it would end. you didn't expect anything more, after all a hospital wasn't exactly the place to make friends.

"so... why are you here?" suho ripped off the bandaid and just asked. his eyes curious but calm, like he wasn't afraid to get uncomfortable.

the question hung in the air, the silence and his eyes on you made you feel like you had to answer. sensing your discomfort, suho broke the silence.

"you don't have to answer if you don't want to." he gave you an understanding smile, recognising you probably wouldn't want to tell someone you met five minutes the reason you were in the hospital.

you cleared your throat. this had been the most conversation you'd had in the past few days.

"um. i tore my right rotator cuff and had to get surgery." as the words exited your mouth, the flashbacks began again. the dive, the split-second you reached out, the loud thud as your shoulder hit the floor, and the searing pain that shot through you.

"what about you?" you asked, trying to distract yourself. your eyes wandered down to his wheelchair. maybe a leg injury?

suho racked his brain, trying to find something similar to say. he knew if he brought up that he was in a coma for the past two years, you'd feel guilty. the last thing he wanted was to make you feel like your injury wasn't enough to be sad about.

it was a common theme amongst other patients. he would tell them he recently woke up from a two-year coma and they would awkwardly laugh, brushing off their injury and joking about how they shouldn't feel bad about the reason they were in hospital.

it made him feel guilty. suho understood that they were just trying to lighten the mood but he could see through it. he didn't want their sympathy, not like this. it made him feel like he was the reason they couldn't be honest about their struggles.

"suho?"

snapping his eyes back up at you, suho watched as you intently waited for his answer. something about the way you looked at him made him feel seen, like you would understand him, like you wouldn't brush off your own injury by making a joke of it. like you wouldn't remind him of how much had slipped away while he was unconscious.

"i woke up from a coma two weeks ago."

you stared at suho for a few moments, unsure what you should say. comforting people wasn't exactly your strongest suit.

"why are you in a wheelchair?" your mouth moved before your brain could think about what to say. great. you could've said literally anything else but that's what you went with.

suho blinked at you, slightly shocked and slightly relieved. he began to laugh as you hurriedly apologised, trying to explain that wasn't what you had meant.

"it's okay. i can walk if that's what you're curious about. but i'm still pretty weak so until i get my muscle strength back i need the wheelchair."

"oh. how long.. were you in... a coma for?" you asked, your voice soft. you hoped it didn't come off as if you were prying.

"two years. it felt like two minutes, isn't that crazy?" suho tried to be humorous to uplift the mood.

"that must've been hard." you reciprocated the understanding smile he had given you earlier.

you were giving suho the same sympathy he'd received from other patients but something felt different. you weren't awkward, you were relaxed. like this topic, genuinely, wasn't making you uncomfortable.

"but hey at least i'm alive." suho shrugged, giving you a half-smile. but you could see the sadness behind his eyes.

"sorry if i made it weird. i didn't mean to bring up anything uncomfortable. this is the most social interaction i've had in the past week."

"it's okay." suho assured you. it'd felt nice for him to talk about it without feeling guilty. "if you don't mind me asking, you had been crying when i came in, are you okay?"

"oh, yeah —" suho's presence had made you forget all about that.

"— my injury has been a bit tough on my mental health because i had to give up something i've loved for a long time." you grimaced, just because this was the most social interaction you'd had in a while doesn't mean you had to overshare.

"that sounds... rough." suho didn't press for more details, and you were glad he didn't. you weren't ready to get into the details, not yet.

"i didn't think my injury was bad enough that i would have to give up volleyball but that's why i'm not a doctor —" you winced at your poor attempt to crack a joke. "i thought i'd be okay, but i guess i hadn't realised how much volleyball was a part of me."

"i get that. it's normal to feel like you lost a part of yourself." you looked at suho, shocked at how much his words resonated with you.

"i feel like i'm me but i'm not." those words hit suho hard. he knew all too well what that felt like. he was 18 now but he still felt like his 16-year-old self. he felt stuck, like he had been left behind while everyone moved forward.

"i get that too. i feel like the 16-year-old version of me, but that's not me anymore. and i think it'll take time for me, for us to learn and figure out who we are now."

your heart broke for him. he'd been so young. two years, gone just like that. you hadn't realised you were crying until you felt teardrops land on your hospital pants, darkening the fabric in uneven patches.

"hey. why are you crying?"

you shook your head, wiping away your tears. clearing your throat, you apologised. every emotion was hitting you at once.

"thanks.. it helps, talking about it." you confessed, it was so easy to talk to him. what was it about him — a complete stranger — that made you feel safe.

maybe it was the fact that he was your age, or maybe it was the fact that he had no expectations for you. because he wasn't here just waiting for you to get over it and be okay again.

"i should be thanking you. this was better than the therapy sessions i have to go to."

you let out a soft giggle.

"let's make a deal, i'll help you discover a new passion if you help me catch up on teenage experiences i've missed." suho extended his hand out for you to shake.

you shuffled down the bed, shaking his hand. letting out a hearty laugh, you accepted. suho smiled to himself, he watched as your eyes crinkled and you threw your head back. he felt accomplished for finally making you laugh.

you took back what you said before, you could make friends in a hospital. and you think you just made your first friend.

as you packed your bag, all you could think about was how tired you were and what a long day it'd been. you were pulled out of your thoughts when the door to class 2-4 was slammed open.

"___!"

you recognised that voice. go hyuntak. vice-captain of eunjang's basketball team. also your childhood bff, actually more like your bff since you both had popped out of the womb. your mothers were best friends, so naturally it made sense that the two of you were as well.

"tak, to what do i owe this pleasure?" you sighed. you were wrecked from all the new responsibilities you had after being elected class president. you knew hyun-tak had come found you because he needed something from you and you didn't want to add another responsibility to the list.

"i need your help" — called it.

"what? can it wait til tomorrow, i'm exhausted" you'd known hyuntak was impatient since you were in diapers, it was pointless asking him to wait.

"nope" hyuntak said, popping the 'p'.

"of course, what can i help you with?" you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

"promise you won't get mad?" hyuntak lifted his pinky up towards you. the two of you had a rule since you were younger, if you pinky-promised on anything, it could never been broken. however, there was no way you were gonna pinky-promise in this situation. smacking his pinky out of the way, you told him just to say it.

"i need you to become the manager of our basketball team."

silence.

you need a second to reboot because you knew damn well he did not just ask you to manage a team that is captained by someone you have held a strong dislike for since middle school.

"i'm gonna pretend you didn't ask that, tak" placing the last textbook in your bag, you zipped it up and headed towards the door.

as you slid the door open, hyuntak ducked under your arm and stood in front of you, blocking the exit. this was about to be your last straw. shaking your head in annoyance, you told him to get out of your way.

"please! i'll do anything, just please be our manager. if you are our manager, then we'll be able to compete in the tournament." hyuntak pleaded.

"anything?" you raised an eyebrow, smirking. "okay. i'll do it" you agreed. fear flashed across hyuntak's face.

"also what makes you think you'll be able to compete if i become your manager?" the only reason they couldn't compete was because their dumbass captain got suspended after getting into a fight. how were you supposed to fix that?

"well firstly you're class president. secondly you're good with teachers, and thirdly you're kinda strict so you'll help with keeping baku out of trouble." were you supposed to be the team's manager or baku's babysitter?

"i'm gonna take you calling me strict as a compliment." ducking under hyuntak's arm, you walked out smiling.

"wait, what's the condition?" he yelled out, the worry in his voice evident.

without looking back you replied, "you'll find out soon. let me know when the first meeting is, vice-captain".

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

as you wrapped your hair in the towel, your phone buzzed. once. twice. then thrice. and then a few more times.

7 new messages from tak tak 🏀

god, he really didn't get the concept of just typing everything out in one message.

tak tak 🏀 [7:42pm]: hey my fav person in the entire world tak tak 🏀 [7:42pm]: first meeting is at 8 tak tak 🏀 [7:42pm]: sorry for the late notice tak tak 🏀 [7:43pm]: meet me at baku's chicken tak tak 🏀 [7:43pm]: also sorry for the location tak tak 🏀 [7:45pm]: also it's just gonna be me, you, and baku tak tak 🏀 [7:45pm]: sorry don't kill me delivered — read at 7:46pm

baku's chicken. he's gotta be joking. you hadn't stepped foot in that place for years, granted you didn't have a reason to after ninth grade, but still.

you stood outside the shop, feeling hesitant to go in. but the frosty wind blowing every few seconds reminded you why you should.

as you entered, the bell rang, letting everyone know of your presence. you see hyuntak — his face lighting up because he didn't think you'd actually show up, one because of your lack of response to his message and two because of who it involves.

hyuntak waved you over and while walking over you noticed a red-head sitting opposite him. who the hell was that?

as you slid into the spot next to hyuntak, a voice spoke up.

"what is she doing here?" you'd know that voice anywhere. looking up, you saw park humin. with hot sauce red hair?

unable to hold back, you snorted with laughter. pointing, you asked "did you pour malatang on your hair?"

beside you, hyun-tak shook with silent laughter. "that's what i said" he said, holding his hand out for a hi-five. humin glared at you and hyuntak.

"ha ha very funny."

you sarcastically complimented him, saying he looked soooo good.

"really? don't you think i look like kang baekho" humin's face lit up for a second. you couldn't take him seriously, you began to laugh for a second time, pointing and shaking your head 'no'.

"remind me why you're here again" humin sneered. that shut you up real quick, was he seriously incapable of taking a joke.

"i'm here because my best friend has asked me to be here. why are you here?" you rebutted. hyuntak shot you a confused look. right, you were in baku's chicken, a shop owned by humin's father. not your best comeback.

"alright guys, calm down. baku, ___ is the new manager of our basketball team. you know since the last one quit because you kept getting in trouble." hyuntak always acted as a mediator when you and humin were close in proximity.

"please tell me you're joking gotak. her? seriously? you couldn't find anyone else." humin huffed.

"bro you know she's the only one who can keep you out of trouble" — "yeah only because she'll nag me to death"

the dislike, borderline hatred, you held for hu-min was completely mutual. you had a valid reason for your hostility but you had no idea what his problem was with you.

"stop talking about me like i'm not here and you —" you said, pointing at humin, "you underestimate both, my managing skills and my enjoyment in making your life hell".

when you both had been friends, there was never a time where you had done or said anything to make him feel shitty which was something you couldn't say about him. but now that had changed, you hated him. he never listened, didn't take anything seriously, and was just a huge jerk.

"honestly, i think i might just have to stay your manager until we graduate. hyuntak, what do you think?" you said, smirking at humin.

hyuntak agreed about how great it'd be if you were the team's manager until graduation, all the while humin was busy grumbling away.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

you stood in front of humin with your arms crossed. you'd been arguing for the past twenty minutes about his hair. all you had said was that it was time to wash the malatang out of his hair, you didn't understand what he was getting so worked up about.

"can you stop being insufferable for two minutes and just agree with me!" you yelled, frustrated. it would be easier to manage twenty five-year-olds than him.

"me? i'm being insufferable? you're the one who trying to dictate my life" he scoffed.

"dictate your life? do you even know what the word dictate means? all i said was to dye your hair back. that's one of the top reasons you can't compete in the tournament right now!" you exclaimed, rubbing your temples.

dying humin's hair back to black was the first and the easiest step to take so that the team can be on track to completing in the tournament. once he actually looked presentable, you'd be able to go to his homeroom teacher with him and get him to apologise.

"do you care about your team?" you questioned him, with the way he'd been acting so far it didn't seem like it.

"what is that supposed to mean? of course i do." humin didn't like that you had questioned his loyalty to his team. basketball, his team, his friends and hyuntak were few of the most important things in his life and you doubting that felt like a blow to the stomach.

"well then act like it, and dye your hair back" you remarked. you hoped that this would be the end of the conversation, you had to get back to class before lunch ended and help your homeroom teacher.

as you walked towards the door, humin muttered something under his breath. all you could hear was something about walking away.

you turned around, "excuse me?"

"i said, walk away. you're good at that" he declared.

"are you seriously picking a fight because i said something you didn't want to hear? real mature humin" you sighed. shit, you were supposed to meet with your homeroom teacher 5 minutes ago.

slamming the door shut behind you, you stood on the other side for a few seconds. letting out a shaky breath, you wiped your eyes and made your way to classroom 2-4. humin's suspension wasn't even over and he was already being difficult.

pulling out your phone, you texted hyuntak.

you [12:54pm]: i'm out. i'm not managing your team. tak tak 🏀 [12:55pm]: what. why???? pls don't do this 🙏 you [12:55pm]: tell your best friend to dye their hair back to black tak tak 🏀 [12:56pm]: dye your hair back to black you [12:57pm]: ????? tak tak 🏀 [12:56pm]: you are my best friend you [12:57pm]: flattery will get you nowhere tak tak 🏀 reacted '😔' to your message you [12:57pm]: tell humin to dye his hair otherwise i'm out. fr. tak tak 🏀 [12:57pm]: yes ma'am 🫡 tak tak 🏀 [12:58pm]: you will see him tomorrow with black hair tak tak 🏀 [12:58pm]: i swear delivered — read at 12:58pm

at least someone was willing to listen to you.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

the next day you decided to get to school early and set up. there was something so peaceful about being alone this early in the morning. no pattering footsteps, no doors being slammed open and shut, no yelling in the hallways. you felt calm.

7:20am, you had fifteen minutes before students began showing up and fourty minutes until school started. you decided to head over and stick up the plan you'd made for the team in the basketball room. it mainly consisted of them practising, but you added in team dinners and outings to boost morale.

as you entered the room, you remembered the argument you had with humin yesterday. you still couldn't understand what his problem was. it was obvious that he would have to dye his hair back, and you knew he wasn't stupid enough to think he'd be allowed to compete with red hair.

still what he'd said stuck with you — "walk away. you're good at that" — you tried to convince yourself he said it because of stress about the tournament but you couldn't. you couldn't shake the way he'd said it as if it was something that wasn't up for discussion.

"baku!" you heard humin's name being yelled out several times.

"go back to your classroom guys, get ready for class!" wow, and he had the audacity to say you were dictating his life.

it was now 7:50am, you had ten minutes to go talk to hyuntak and make it back to your classroom.

as you inched towards class 2-7, you could hear hyuntak and humin's voices drifting out into the hallway.

"why do we have to play a practice game with ganghak high?" — "your precious manager isn't doing anything, so i took the first step. plus a true master doesn't care about who he plays." he hadn't even seen you and he was already sizing you up.

you stood outside waiting for them to finish. "well then we can play another team. we don't want anyone to get hurt" — "you chicken."

looking into the classroom, you could see that hyuntak was visibly agitated, and humin, as always, was making a joke out of it.

shifting back, so you couldn't be seen, you realised humin had dyed his hair back to black. thank god hyuntak got through to him. that was one less thing you had to worry about.

checking the time, you noticed you only had four minutes left. as you walked in, humin was putting hyuntak in a headlock while hyuntak was frantically trying to tap out.

"what's this, are we under attack?" humin taunted, holding his hands up.

"ha. ha. very funny. i've put a plan up in the basketball room so make sure you guys follow it. —" sighing, you continued "nice to see you dyed your hair, clearly you didn't want to listen because it was me who said it."

"you're right" he agreed. that shameless jerk.

clenching your fists, you added "by the way, you don't have to play against ganghak high. their manager called and cancelled. i got you a practice game with yuseong high."

you turned around, walking away quickly. but you were just slow enough to see humin shit-eating smile drop and hyuntak poking his tongue out at humin.

you - 1, hu-min - 0.

while speed-walking back to your classroom, you noticed sieun and juntae heading towards where you had just left. you didn't know about sieun — he wasn't really a people person and had kept to himself since he transferred — but juntae wasn't one to be late.

unfortunately, you didn't have time to wonder about what they were doing, you had a minute to make it to class before you'd get chewed out by your homeroom teacher.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

"lee ___, please report to the teacher's office." your name could be heard over the loudspeaker. excusing yourself from class, you rushed over.

upon entering, you saw humin and hyuntak along with sieun and juntae lined up.

"hi sir, i was called?"

"yes ___, these four were caught fighting at the underpass yesterday. i need you to go volunteering with them and supervise." what? you looked over at hyuntak who was hell-bent on avoiding eye contact with you. he hadn't mentioned anything this morning.

why you? you weren't even there yesterday, plus you barely had any connection to the guys who stood before you — except for hyuntak, but he wouldn't have mentioned your name.

"you don't want to? humin said you won't mind" — of course he fucking did.

in the end you agreed, given the situation you were put in, it was difficult to say no. the teacher requested for you to stay back and you watched as the four of them exited in silence.

you knew what this was about. you had spoken to their homeroom teacher when you'd arrived early. you had pleaded with him to allow the basketball team to compete and he'd reluctantly agreed.

the original plan was to get humin to apologise but you were aware that trying to convince humin to apologise would be like trying to put out a fire by adding oil. it just wouldn't work.

"i'm afraid they won't be able to compete ___. they need to learn that their actions have consequences." no no no. this could not be happening. but right now you had to swallow your pride and fix this.

you clasped your hands together. "one more chance. just give them one more chance. i'll manage the team and i promise to keep them out of trouble. if anything like this happens again, you can stop them from competing and i won't interfere. please sir." this was so embarrassing.

you were furious. how were you supposed to manage a team and get them to play in the tournament when the captain and vice-captain won't stay out of trouble.

"fine but mark my words, this is their final chance."

the four boys stood outside, talking and messing around, blissfully unaware. as you slammed the door shut behind you, each of their eyes, one by one, flicked towards you.

hyuntak was the first to approach you, slinging his arm around your shoulder. "what did teach wanna talk to you about?" he questioned. god, he was really clueless. you shrugged hyuntak's arm off, telling him to see you at lunchtime while walking away.

you wanted to scream. but you rather not do that in the hallway.

as you turned the corner, you faintly heard si-eun's voice.

"are you dense? she's pissed."

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

by lunchtime, you were no longer angry. now, you were trying to understand what compelled you to do what you did back in the teachers office.

it was obvious you'd done it for hyuntak but there was a little part of you that had done it for humin. you just weren't sure whether it was to show him that you were a good manager or because somewhere you cared about him more than you'd like to admit.

hyuntak had messaged you to come by the basketball court since they were practising. at least the plan you made was being followed.

as the court came into view, you yelled out to hyuntak.

"GO HYUNTAK, you are dead meat!" clearly, you were still angry.

"___, my favourite person in the entire world." hyuntak was nervous. you rarely got angry, especially with him.

"flattery isn't gonna work. are you fucking joking me? you got into a fight and now i have to clean up your mess." your chest puffed up and down, frustration building with every inhale and exhale.

"don't you think you're being dramatic?" humin interrupted.

"mind your business." you had no energy to deal with him, not right now.

"it was a misunderstanding, i swear. we resolved it." hyuntak explained.

"gotak, you don't have to explain yourself to her. she's not your mother."

"baku, shut up." hyuntak hissed. humin's constant interference was only going to make things worse.

"you're right i'm not his mother. if you knew how to look after your team properly and actually cared enough to not get in trouble, this wouldn't be happening right now." the rest of the team had stopped playing.

"what did you just say? what the fuck is your problem" humin was seething. you didn't know even half of it, didn't know the reasons behind his fights or the fact that if he had a choice he wouldn't fight at all.

"you are! for once, look beyond yourself."

"god, no wonder you don't have any friends. look at how suffocating you are." the words spilled out before hu-min had time to register what he had said.

those six words transported you back to ninth grade.

i don't like her. she's so clingy and annoying.

tears brimmed your eyes. blinking them back, you looked at humin with a hurt expression. he'd gone too far. humin knew that he'd gone too far.

while walking away, you heard hyuntak yell at humin and that'd been the first time you'd ever heard him call humin by his first name.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

the next couple of weeks went by in a blur. you went volunteering with the boys, but mostly kept to yourself.

you did make a new friend though, or friends. you weren't really sure if sieun considered you his friend but after volunteering you had spent quite a bit of time with him and juntae, causing the three of you become closer.

unfortunately, whenever they spent time with hyuntak and humin you never went.

you had barely spoken to either of them since quarrel at the court. you had nothing to say to humin anyways. but you couldn't talk to hyuntak because you were embarrassed. not only because of what humin had said, but because of what you had said to humin.

whenever you had come to the basketball meetings, you hardly interacted with them, mainly talking to jiwon. all the team dinners and outings you had planned, you sent through to jiwon, letting him take the lead.

on the other hand, hyuntak felt terrible. it was as if he had lost his other half. you were his twin, always in sync, understanding each other without words. the bond between you and him was natural, something that didn't require effort, something that never felt forced. and he'd felt insanely guilty that he had waited until after you left to reprimand humin for speaking to you like that.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

the tournament was tonight, both of the boys had stayed out of trouble and thanks to that they were able to compete. you'd decided to go and support hyuntak, feeling horrible that you had essentially blew him off for almost 3 weeks.

as you reached the basketball court, you saw sieun and juntae sitting off to the side. juntae waved you over, you quickly put up your pointer finger, mouthing 'give me a minute'.

you walked up to hyuntak, tapping him on the shoulder. hyuntak's eyes widened when he saw you and before you could react he wrapped his arms around you.

"___" he breathed out.

"hi, sorry for blowing you off." you whispered, reciprocating his movement.

"it's okay. just don't do that ever again."

"i won't, i promise. good luck tonight." you laughed, it was nice to hear that he'd missed you as much as you'd missed him.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

the tournament went by in a blink of an eye. the sound of sneakers screeched against the ground, the audience cheering for their respective schools, coaches on the sidelines roaring instructions at players.

by 7pm, the final two high schools were left — eunjang and yeo-il.

with thirty seconds left and the scoreboard being 37-39, eunjang needed to score a three pointer to win.

humin grabbed the ball, dribbling past the yeo-il players and jumping up from just outside the semi-circle, he shot the ball towards the hoop.

BUZZ — the final buzzer went off, indicating the end of the game.

the number on the score board flicked from 37-39 to 40-39. the crowd erupted in screams. they did it, eunjang basketball team had won.

hyuntak ran towards you, engulfing you in a hug.

"thank you ___, for managing and keeping us out of trouble, we wouldn't have been able to compete or win without you."

"shut up, it was all you guys! well done, i'm proud of you tak." you were so happy for hyuntak. it had been a while since you had seen him this happy.

"no seriously. and thank you for what you did that day in the teachers office." you smiled in response. wait, how did he know what you did. that didn't matter right now. "shush, go celebrate with your team." you ushered him away.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

class 2-7's teacher had pulled humin aside while the rest of the team was celebrating. humin had tuned out what his teacher was saying. he was busy looking at the trophy, beaming with pride that they'd won. until he had heard something interesting.

"congratulations humin! make sure you thank ___, she had begged me to allow the team to participate in the tournament. rambling on about the fact that she'd keep you out of trouble and what not. and i guess she did." humin's eyes flicked up, you had done what?

shit, that had been the same day him and hyuntak had gotten in trouble and he had been a jerk to you, calling you friendless and suffocating.

quickly thanking his coach, he scanned the crowd for you. unable to find you, he asked hyuntak who subtly mentioned you had gone home.

fuck. he had to see you. he needed to apologise for being such a jerk.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

as you massaged in your face cream, your phone buzzed.

kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:02pm]: we need to talk delivered — read at 9:03pm

why was he messaging you? wasn't he supposed to out celebrating his win? more importantly, why the hell did he want to talk to you?

kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:03pm]: i can see that you're reading my texts kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:03pm]: are you gonna reply? kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:03pm]: it's rude to leave people on read you [9:04pm]: what do you want? kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:04pm]: to talk you [9:04pm]: no thanks kang baekho wannabe 🌶️ [9:05pm]: please ___ delivered — read at 9:06pm

wow, he had manners. sighing, you grabbed a hoodie from behind your door and pulled it on. sliding on your slippers, you went downstairs.

you saw humin sitting on the steps of your apartment complex's entrance. sitting down beside him, you spoke "what was so urgent that you said please to me?"

"i'm sorry and thank you."

you were stunned. you hadn't heard either of those phrases together since hu-min had accidentally pushed you over on the playground and was grateful you didn't tell the teacher.

"coach told me what you did. why did you?" humin knew you'd done it for hyuntak but part of him wished that you'd done it for him too.

"i don't know. i guess i wanted to prove i was a good manager. don't get the wrong idea, i didn't do it for you" you lied. you were lying through your teeth. you had done it for hyuntak but you had equally done it for humin. you knew how he'd loved basketball since elementary school.

"yeah, of course —" humin cleared his throat before continuing, "anyways i'm sorry for being a jerk to you."

you accepted his apology, apologising back, mentioning how you had been out of line for what you said.

both of you sat in silence, before humin spoke up again.

"i'm sorry for what i did in middle school as well." you blanked for the second time.

"wait, you knew i heard what you said about me?" — i don't like her. she's so clingy and annoying. i wish she would leave me alone.

"yeah. i'm sorry i never meant any of it. i thought you had spread the rumour about my parents divorcing so i said all those mean things. but i found out a few months later that it wasn't you who spread the rumour, it was baekjin."

you were confused, if he found out that you hadn't spread the rumour. then why didn't he come and talk to you?

"why didn't you come and ask me first?" you softly questioned humin, worried if you raised your voice, even slightly, it would shatter the moment the two of you were having.

"i don't know, i was stupid. baekjin kept pestering me, saying i liked you and i got fed up." hu-min hung his head low, defeated.

"why didn't you come and apologise sooner? we've spent almost two years hating each other." you knew the reason, it was because you had already started to hate him.

"i tried, but every time you'd snap at me and then i'd snap at you. so i figured it was better this way. at least you were still in my life, even if you hated me."

"did you like me?" you asked, barely audible, like you had been afraid his response wouldn't be the one you wanted to hear.

"yes i did. i still do."

you felt like the air had been knocked out of your lungs. you didn't know how to reply. were you ready for a relationship? you knew you liked humin, you had ever since the day he'd accidentally pushed you over in the playground.

"i don't expect anything from you. but i'd like to be friends again." humin's eyes bored into you, patiently waiting for a response.

"i'd like that too. how about we start over? —" you hummed. "hi, i'm lee ___, what's your name?" you extended your arm out.

"hi i'm park hu-min, you can call me baku. do you want to be friends?" hu-min replied, playing along and shaking your hand.

"sure! can i call you min instead?" you smiled.

"i'd like that a lot." min was a nickname you had called him growing up, and nobody had been allowed to call him that except for you. it was reserved only for you.

standing up, you dusted yourself off. "i heard you won a tournament tonight. you should go celebrate with your team, captain."

"okay, i'll see you tomorrow at school?" — "i'll see you tomorrow at school, min" you said, waving humin off with a smile.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

"ohhh takkk, remember when you said you'd do anything if i managed the team? its time to uphold your end of the deal."

"you need to perform BTS's Just One Day for me" you said, giggling.

hyuntak groaned in response, he disliked dancing. you ushered him towards the court which would be his stage for the next four minutes.

clicking play on your phone, you, humin, sieun, and juntae intently watched hyuntak perform. all four of you had been laughing your heads off and you had secretly recorded hyuntak. it would make great blackmail material for the future.

looking around at your friends, you felt content. your childhood best friend had returned, you had helped both of your best friends win their basketball tournament, and life felt good. it felt normal again.

you stood on stage, bright lights shining in your face. the auditorium was completely silent, waiting in anticipation for you and your bandmates to begin performing.

3. 2. 1.

you and ji-woo began to play the electric guitar, whilst the hee-won was playing the drums and mi-ran was singing.

each riff booming through the speakers it was connected to, while your fingers moved across the strings effortlessly, like you were born doing this.

screams began erupting from your audience — full of students who had come from surrounding schools, just to watch your group perform. you could hear bits and pieces of what was being shouted at you and your members.

"you're so beautiful!"

"everything about you is so angelic!"

"be my girlfriend!"

"just one chance please!"

the comments continued to come, but they were difficult to comprehend over your music and the yelling. your eyes surfed the crowd until they landed on your biggest fan — your boyfriend.

park hu-min, your boyfriend and childhood best friend. you locked eyes with him, your grin widening. giving him a subtle wave, you continued to focus on playing.

as your set came to an end, you took out your in-ear monitor, making it easier to hear what was being said.

"___ marry me please!"

"___ i've told my mum about us!"

you playfully rolled your eyes, none of those comments affected you unless they were from your boyfriend. laughing, you and your bandmates thanked everyone for coming and supporting. taking your final bow, you walked offstage.

as you packed your guitar away, you told the girls that you'd be heading out now. a line of moans and groans followed, this had been the second time you were bailing on the dinner after a set. it had been a tradition, from the very first set til now, you'd always went for a celebratory dinner.

you blurted a quick apology, hoping they'd understand.

as you were walking out, you were stopped multiple times. either being complimented — "___ you're so pretty" — or flirted with —"___ i'll treat you so well!".

you appreciated everyone's support, but sometimes the flirting became uncomfortable. many times boys were relentless, not understanding even when you had refused multiple times.

offering polite smiles and rapid 'thank yous', you looked around for hu-min. unable to see your six foot boyfriend anywhere, you headed towards his friend group.

"hey guys!"

"hi ___" the boys replied in a chorus.

"i didn't think you'd still be here ___, i thought you'd be with hu-min" hyun-tak said. that's odd, you hadn't seen him since the end of the set, had he gone backstage to see you?

confused, you told the boys you'd be right back. as you made your way back to backstage, you wondered where hu-min could've gone. upon opening the door, you saw your bandmates who were still packing up and chatting.

"oh hey ___, are you back to join us for dinner?" they asked, their smiles gleaming and hopeful.

"no, sorry —" you said, giving them a sheepish smile. "have you guys seen hu-min, i can't find him?"

after your members denied seeing hu-min, you decided to go back to hyun-tak, si-eun, and jun-tae.

you had noticed that the auditorium was empty, only confetti and streamers decorating the now empty stage and floor.

"hey gotak, thanks for waiting for me —" looking around, you noticed that si-eun and jun-tae had disappeared, "where is everyone else?"

"they had to go, jun-tae got a call from his grandma and si-eun wanted to go to the hospital to see his friend before visiting hours ended."

"oh okay, have you heard from hu-min? maybe he went to the bathroom like that one time during your volunteer work at the museum."

hyun-tak snorted at your statement. while it was something hu-min would do, you couldn't be further from right.

"he went outside while your fanboys were busy crowding you" hyun-tak answered.

"you jerk, why didn't you tell me before" you said playfully slapping his shoulder.

as you stepped outside, you were met with crisp air. the moon and street lamps illuminating your path. you looked around your surroundings — still no sign of hu-min. growing impatient, you took out your phone and shot him a message.

you [8:18pm]: babeeee you [8:18pm]: where are you? delivered — read at 8:18pm

my idiot ❤️ [8:19pm]: by the basketball court delivered — read at 8:19pm

placing your phone in your back pocket and walked towards the basketball count.

as soon as you saw hu-min's silhouette, you ran, engulfing him in a tight hug.

"did you see me tonight!" you said, bursting with excitement.

"mhmm" was all hu-min could manage to say, his words muffled as you squished his cheeks with your hands.

"i blew a kiss to you at the end, did you see!"

you were eager to hear your boyfriends thoughts. to you, they were the only ones that mattered.

"i did baby" hu-min replied.

you could tell something was wrong, he'd never given you such bland replies after your sets. he'd always rambled about how you were amazing and the best.

"what's wrong?" you inquired, was today an important day? had you missed something he did while you were on stage?

"nothing —" you gave him a quizzical look, knowing he wasn't telling the truth.

"you have a lot of fanboys" hu-min pouted, giving in.

taken aback, you couldn't help but giggle at your boyfriends behaviour.

in your, almost, two years of dating, you never seen hu-min act like this. sure, there were times where he'd gotten angry at guys hitting on you — a matter he often took into his own hands — but he'd never ever pouted and acted like a baby.

"any chance you're jealous park hu-min?" you questioned him.

"no" he shot back. god if his friends saw him right now, he'd never live it down.

you raised an eyebrow at his response. while hu-min had never been overbearingly possessive, he was the type to get jealous on more than one occasion.

"you so are, they were just admiring my talent" your smile widened. it was more like you to act like a baby when feeling jealous, not hu-min. but you weren't complaining, you were enjoying it, any chance to baby your boyfriend.

"i'm sure they were but some of them were asking to be given a chance or marry you, that's my job" he huffed, his chest expanding.

you stared at hu-min for a few seconds, admiring him. you felt lucky, lucky that he'd communicate with you, lucky that he understood you — lucky that your first boyfriend was such an amazing person.

you had heard from your friends turned bandmates, their experiences with previous boyfriends. how they'd get jealous, how'd they blame your friends rather than understanding. you were lucky.

"you are so cute when you're jealous" you said, pinching hu-min's cheek.

"not jealous, more like protective" he rebutted.

"well i don't know if you know this, but i don't really care about having admirers. not when i already have the best one"

"oh really? who would that be?" hu-min asked, copying your quizzical look from earlier, only ten times more dramatic.

"this guy who is super funny, insanely talented at basketball, and incredibly handsome, he just so happens to be my boyfriend" you reply in a teasing tone, shrugging like you had no idea who you were talking about.

laughing, hu-min wrapped his arms around you, planting a kiss on your cheek.

"you don't have to be jealous you know? i only have eyes for you" you reassured him.

"i know, i don't know what came over me" he muttered, defeated.

resting your head on hu-min's shoulder, you whispered "so you agree, you were jealous".

laughing in response, hu-min laced his fingers through yours, tracing small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

sitting in a comfortable silence, the two of you gazed at the moon and stars. you were glad you came to look for hu-min. you cherished moments like these, moments with him.

10:52pm

checking the time, you quietly punched in the code to your and humin's apartment. opening the door, you slid inside quickly, holding onto the handle until the last second to prevent it from slamming shut.

walking on your tiptoes, you entered the living room. switching on the lights, you noticed your boyfriend sitting on the couch.

"shit! you scared me" you said, clutching your chest. he wasn't supposed to be awake. humin had a strict routine — waking up at 6am, going to bed by 10pm — he wanted to make korea's national basketball team.

"where were you?" he asked. no hi, no sweet nicknames like baby or pretty. he was mad. you knew why he was mad, it wasn't because you had been out late, or because of what you were doing — it was because of who you had been with.

"hi baby, sorry i'm late. i had a club meeting remember?" you gently reminded him. humin had never been controlling. he was supportive, always. but there were certain things that once he'd made up his mind, he wouldn't budge.

"i know, i thought we'd agreed that you won't go". he didn't want you to go because of baekjin.

the three of you had been best friends during high school, until the end of 11th grade. humin and baekjin had a falling out. you knew why but you didn't want to push either of the boys, thinking they'd get over it. but they didn't, instead baekjin moved away and you ended up losing touch with him.

just before humin and baek-jin's falling out, humin had confessed to you. you reciprocated, and now had been dating for the past two years. when you started attending university, you had seen baekjin in your class and decided to rekindle your friendship with him. you had never taken it to heart that he didn't keep in touch with you.

"it doesn't look good if i don't go, i'm the vice-captain". you tried to reason with him. you had signed up to be a part of maths club without realising that baekjin had been the captain and due to your prior friendship and being in the club, you and baekjin had become closer.

"but it looks good when you have a boyfriend and you're cuddling up to another man?" he snapped.

"excuse me?" you were baffled. you had noticed the change in humins behaviour recently, it was like he was in a permanent state of irritation — irritation that ended up coming out on you.

"are you serious humin?", you were pissed. you knew what he was accusing you of. ever since baekjin came back into the picture, there had been multiple occasions where he had mentioned you liking baekjin in more than a friendly way.

"he is my friend, and he was your friend too".

"yeah? we were friends as well, look at where we are now" he huffed. deep down, humin knew he was wrong. knew that you wouldn't do that, that he was just being insecure.

"what.. you think i'm gonna do the things i do with you, with him?" humin looked up at you with a surprised expression. you had had enough, what was the problem? humin had girl friends as well, but you have never made it a problem because you trusted him.

"i don't—" he mumbled. you cut him off. "thank you for letting me know that you don't trust me, that you think i'd just throw away our relationship like that."

grabbing your bag off the floor, you walked towards your shared bedroom. as you entered the room, you shut the door behind you, locking it.

humin sat in the living room, with his head in his hands. when he first heard that you'd seen baekjin in class, all he could think about his friend's last words to him.

"i didn't think you'd react like this — watch out i'll take her from you when you least expect it".

how was he supposed to tell you that you were the reason behind their falling out? it would break your heart.

humin was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the bedroom door lock click. you unlocked the door, an unspoken invitation for humin to come inside.

switching the living rooms lights off, he entered the bedroom. you sat on the bed wearing his t-shirt, with your back facing the door.

climbing onto the bed, he hugged you from behind. "hey, i'm sorry" humin whispered, planting a kiss on your cheek. repeating 'i'm sorry' he planted multiple kisses all over your face, purposely exempting your lips.

damn him and his cute antics. "i'm still mad at you" you said, you couldn't let him know he'd won you over so quick.

"i know, and you have every right to be" he conceded. "i was just scared which is why i said what i did, and i didn't mean anything of it by the way".

"scared about what? humin i would never do that to you" you said, softly. humin turned you around, allowing him to see you. you looked tired and sad — his heart hurt knowing he was the cause of that.

"baekjin liked you, or likes you" he confessed, "he told me at the end of grade 11 and i got angry at him even though he said he'd never act on them. because i got angry he told me that he'd take you from me when i'd least expect it". humin braced himself, for you to be mad, to start yelling at him. but instead you just burst into laughter.

you couldn't stop laughing. 'he'd take you from me when i least expected it', you couldn't believe sweet, shy baekjin had said that. what was he, a super villain planning to kidnap you in the dead of night?

"can you please say something" humin pleaded. wiping the tears from your eyes that had leaked from laughing too hard, you spoke.

"i know he liked me, neither of you were exactly subtle about your feelings" you giggled. you remember when you first started picking up on their actions. they'd fight over who'd buy you food, whose umbrella you'd walk under, who you'd sit next to on the bus.

"when i saw baekjin, i had a whole talk with him. he didn't tell me what went down but he told me that he wasn't mad at you and that he'd felt terrible about what he said you, he hadn't meant it".

"why didn't you tell me?" he asked, voice laced with genuine confusion.

"hey 99iq, have you noticed how you've been behaving since i told you that baekjin attends the same university as us" you slightly shove his shoulder.

exaggerating, humin toppled over. "of course, my smart, and somehow incredibly strong, girlfriend. you are so right. i wasn't in my right mind" he said in a teasing tone.

"by the way, baekjin doesn't like me anymore."

"that's impossible, who could not like you?" he remarked, as if he was offended by the notion.

"i mean i'm not saying i want him to like you but you're so great so it would make sense if he does, you know", you covered his mouth so he'd stop rambling.

"he has a girlfriend babe. they have been dating since the end of grade 12" you bit your lip, trying to hide your smile.

"oh." humin sat up straight.

"yeah. 'oh'. are you done, you big baby?" you asked, pushing him back once more. humin grabbed your wrist pulling you back with him, causing you to land on his chest.

"i'm sorry baby, i'll try not to get jealous as much anymore". you raised an eyebrow waiting for him to add something else.

"and?"

"and i'll talk to baekjin" he sighed, surrendering.

"good", you were happy, the possibility that the 3 of you could go back to the way you were before would be amazing. plus now there was an addition of baekjin's girlfriend.

humin leaned up, his lips softly brushing against yours. like he was testing to see how you'd react, and when you slightly leaned in, he closed the gap all the way.

the kiss started off slow, like he was apologising with his lips rather than his words. until it became more urgent, more impatient, more messy, like this would be the last chance he'd ever get to kiss you.

humin groaned, slowing sliding his hand under your shirt, settling at your waist.

as you pulled away you spoke up.

"you owe me" you said, matter-of-fact, jabbing humin’s chest.

"do i? i think i know what i can do to make it up to you", you saw the smug look on his face, knowing exactly what he meant.

"well what are you waiting for?" you said with a grin.

humin smiled back and pulling you into another kiss. determined, he showed you that he knew just how wrong he’d been.

you were woken from your slumber by your phone buzzing next to you.

hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ flashing on your phone screen, before the screen went black again.

you had fallen asleep slumped against the door. your eyes swollen from crying, and your body stiff and sore from the rigid position it had been frozen in for the last couple hours. slowly getting up, you reached for your phone.

your head was throbbing, like someone had struck it with a hammer. tapping your phone, you checked the time. 11pm — you had been out for almost 2 hours. under the time, you noticed all notifications you had missed.

4 missed calls from hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ 1 voicemail from hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ 6 messages from hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ 2 messages from seo jun-tae 🙇‍♂️

nothing from hu-min. you never deleted his number. the last time you messaged him was the day of hyun-tak's accident, wondering if he'd seen or heard from hyun-tak. he never replied.

pushing the thoughts about hu-min aside, you opened up jun-tae's messages first.

seo jun-tae 🙇‍♂️ [9:42pm]: hey, it's jun-tae! seo jun-tae 🙇‍♂️ [9:43pm]: hyun-tak was worried bc you're not answering, call me or him when you get this 😊 delivered — read at 11:03pm

you loved jun-tae — he was a recent addition to your brothers friend group. he was absolutely adorable, and had won you over with his polite and respectful nature. tapping on his contact, you hit the call button. the phone rang 6 times before it went into voicemail.

with no response from jun-tae, you decided to check your brothers messages.

hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [9:17pm]: hey idiot hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [9:18pm]: sorry i haven't messaged or called, just got caught up with friends hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [9:18pm]: call me when you get this hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [9:36pm]: hey don't purposely ignore me hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [9:36pm]: i know for a fact you're stuck to your phone 24/7 hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ [10:59pm]: ok did something happen, call me when you get this delivered — read at 11:06pm

wow only 6 messages, that was a new record for hyun-tak. better than the time he had messaged you a single word at a time causing your inbox to inflate with 248 messages. you clicked on his contact, checking what time you had missed his calls.

hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ — 2 missed calls at 9:20pm hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ — missed call at 9:38pm hyun-takie ⛹️‍♂️ — missed call at 11:00pm

you giggled, it was just like him to call you 2 minutes after messaging because you didn't immediately answer. tapping on the voicemail, you gave it a listen.

"hey baby sis, are you okay? i'm worried that little miss glued to her phone isn't answering. anyways whenever you get this, call me back. also don't be mad, i'm at the hospital."

were you really related? your brother was a dumbass. instead of assuming you were asleep, the first thing he thinks is that something is wrong.

wait. hospital. what?

you shot up, panic flooding in. running into your room, you grabbed a small bag, shoving your phone, wallet, keys and headphones inside.

running back out to the entrance, you forced shoes onto your feet. as soon as your shoes were on, you sprinted outside to grab a taxi. the drive to the hospital felt endless. you were beyond scared, imagining all different types of scenarios.

thanking the taxi driver, you rushed inside the hospital and upon entering you heard hyun-tak's voice.

"man, you crybaby. did you cry again?"

and hu-min's voice.

"i didn't."

"si-eun, don't worry he cries all the time." — "i didn't cry, jerk."

hyun-tak sounded completely fine. speeding up a little, you reached the group of boys. seeing hyun-tak with no injuries, you wrapped your hands around him, a sense of relief washing over you. he's okay — your brother was okay.

wait, you were supposed to be angry.

pulling out of his grip, you smacked hyun-tak on the shoulder. "owww, what the hell was that for?" he whined.

"what the hell was that for!?" you said, your eyes bulging. you smacked him again.

"you're an asshole, do you know how worried i was? why on earth would you end the voicemail with 'i'm in the hospital' when you're perfectly fine! you scared me!".

you wanted to smack him more but your body betrayed you, wrapping your arms around him once more.

"i'm sorryyyy —" hyun-tak said, smiling and gently patting your head. "the voicemail ended before i could say anything else. i was going to include that i was in the hospital to see si-eun".

"i'll deal with you at home." you huffed, pulling away from him. forcing a smile, you turned around.

"hi jun-tae, long time no see!" you said to the boy who stood to the right of you, giving him a side-hug.

"hi si-eun, i hope you're okay. nothing serious right?" you asked, giving him a polite wave. si-eun wasn't much of a hugger or talker, especially with those he didn't know well. but he knew he could trust you, you were like a mini hyun-tak.

"i'm okay, just a minor accident. only a few scratches here and there" si-eun replied, smiling softly.

"i'm glad" you responded, mirroring si-eun's smile.

"hey ___". you were surprised hu-min was talking to you, considering he hadn't acknowledged what you had said to him while he was leaving.

you almost didn't want to respond to him, but feeling the eyes of your brother and his friends on you, you settled for a simple 'hi'.

you stared at hu-min in silence, waiting for him to say something. but instead juntae cleared his throat, "i'm going to drop si-eun back to his room. let's go si-eun." — "i'm gonna go with them" hyun-tak added.

they hadn't left because they weren't uncomfortable. they'd left to make you feel comfortable, to give you the privacy you needed. hyun-tak had told them about your past with hu-min, how you had been harbouring feelings for each other, both afraid to do anything about said feelings. how his accident was the tipping point for you.

watching their silhouettes disappear, you felt a hand grab your wrist. you looked up at hu-min with a confusion expression that translated to 'what are you doing?'.

holding onto you, hu-min led you outside. the cold wind hitting your face as you exited the hospital. "what do you think you're doing?" you asked him. "i need to talk to you. sit." you slowly lowered yourself onto the wooden bench.

the frosty air settled on your skin making you realise that you'd forgotten a jacket. out of the corner of your eye, you saw hu-min removing his hoodie and before you could refuse, it is in front of your face.

"i'm fine, it's fine."

"just take it, you're shivering like crazy" he exhaled, placing the zip-up over your shoulders. you, unconsciously, pulled his hoodie closer to you, feeling his lingering warmth in the fabric.

"what did you wanna talk about hu-min?" the cold weather was making you impatient causing the words coming out sharper than intended.

taking a deep breath, hu-min gathered his courage. fighting with other boys, easy. talking to the girl he likes, no thanks. he'd rather fight a 100 boys than feel the emotions he was feeling right now, ever again.

"your brother forgave me, why can't you?" he whispered. he was right. hyun-tak had forgiven hu-min — technically he had never blamed hu-min to begin with. so what about you, what was holding you back for forgiving him?

a heavy silence settled between you. "nevermind... forget i said anything, i'm sorry". hu-min was getting restless, shifting his weight from foot to foot, wondering if he'd said the wrong thing.

"no... you're right, i'm sorry hu-min." you've gotten this far, now it was time to just rip the bandaid off.

tapping the space next to you, you silently invited hu-min to come sit down. he had been standing the entire time, worried that being too close would make you uncomfortable.

"i'm not angry at you —" you spoke slowly, trying to keep your voice steady. "i mean i was angry, initially i did blame you for what happened to hyun-tak. all i could think was, had he not been friends with you, he won't have gone through what he did".

taking a deep breath, you continued explaining how during the first two months of hyun-tak's recovery you were so so angry at him and how by month four, it had become tiring.

not only did you not want to hate the boy you love, you'd realised you were incapable of it.

"soon after, hyun-tak had picked up on the fact that i wasn't speaking to you. and you know what he said to me?" you let out a quiet laugh. "don't hate hu-min too much, the guy is a bit of a dummy. just go talk to him". what you had tried so hard to hide, your brother had picked up on in seconds.

after hearing those words from your brother, you realised that the anger and resentment you had held towards hu-min for being the "cause" of hyun-tak's accident had dissipated. and the real cause was something else altogether.

"the reason i've been upset with you is something else. did you think i was angry because of what happened all this time?"

"yeah..." — "well do you get why i was actually upset?" hu-min shook his head 'no'. you were starting to believe that he did, in fact, have a 99iq.

"hu-min!" you slightly raised your voice, slapping his shoulder. "can you please explain to me why you were actually upset with me?" he asked, with the most innocent look on his face. "are you serious?" was he trying to tease you?

"i was upset because you didn't reach out to me. after i walked past you in the hospital you didn't try to contact me. not once." you sighed, taking a breath to prevent tears from welling up in your eyes.

"i felt abandoned. i thought i meant more-" hu-min pulled you into a hug before you could finish. 'i'm sorry' he repeatedly whispered, like a mantra, his voice full of regret. you pressed your lips together, trying your best to not cry, but it was too late. tears had began to slide down your face, dampening hu-min's shoulder.

"hey, you're making me look bad, why are you apologising? i'm the one who is sorry hu-min, it was wrong of me." you spoke, your voice muffled.

"ialsomayhavebeenupsetbecauseyoudidn'tfeelthesamewayaboutme" you quickly murmured under your breath, praying he hadn't caught onto what you said.

but he had. hu-min pulled back just enough so he could see you, his eyes softening at the sight of your slightly puffy eyes. "oh dear, my poor baby —" he said in a teasing tone, wiping the remnants of your tears. " ___, do you have 99iq or do i? i think we both do."

"i like you".

"i like you so much. my every waking thought is about you. hell, even my dreams are about you." you were speechless, your brain was short-circuiting. "i was worried that baek-jin would go after you so i thought the easiest and safest thing to do was to stay away. i'm sorry i should've told you."

"please say something."

without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around hu-min.

"i like you too, god we're both idiots." you laughed, with a final few tears making their appearance. hu-min hugged you tighter — "guess we are" he mumbled, laughing softly.

"c'mon lets go inside". standing up, you laced your fingers through his. "give me a minute, you head in first" he replied.

you nodded and made your way towards the hospital entrance. realising there was one important thing you forgot to tell him, you turned back around.

"hey baku" you yelled with a grin on your face, "you know you're not alone right, you have me, hyun-tak, jun-tae, and si-eun. try not to hold the burden all on your own, i don't want my future boyfriend to get squashed. now hurry up and come inside".

hu-min hadn't realised how much he yearned to hear that nickname from you. and for the first time in a while, hu-min smiled. not a polite one to show everyone he was okay when he wasn't, but a genuine one.

turning back around, you headed inside. you felt happy, happier than you have been in the past year. even though there was still the whole union mess to clean up and even though you technically weren't dating yet, you were happy. you didn't mind waiting for hu-min for a little while, not when he had waited for you.

for @bloodysxxl who wanted a second part 🫶

"hey park hu-min, it's time to grow up and realise that your actions have consequences on those around you as well!" the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even realised. you knew — no you know it wasn't his fault but you didn't know who else to blame.

15 minutes earlier

8pm, hyun-tak was supposed to be home by now. ever since that stupid accident you'd made him promise that he wouldn't stay out past 6pm. it was only the two of you and your mother and if anything happened to him, you wouldn't know what to do.

BANG BANG BANG

hyun-tak? you stood up so fast, it made you dizzy. you ran towards the door, almost knocking your mother’s favourite vase over in the process.

BANG BANG BANG.

god, was he always this impatient? you knew your brother wasn't impatient. but the boy who stood on the other side of the door, it was just like him.

BANG BANG BANG

"hold on i'm —" your words died in your mouth after seeing who stood on the other side of the door.

park hu-min.

you hadn't seen him in ages, he looked different — older, more tired, like he had already seen what the world had to offer and was ready to give up.

you both stood still for a few seconds, taking each other in. granted hu-min had seen you many times over the past year, you just didn't know about it.

"are you gonna let me in?" hu-min's gruff voice broke the silence.

he even sounded different, like he'd been screaming at the sky to leave him alone, to let him live.

you snapped out of your trance. who did he think he was? speaking to you as if you had just seen each other last week, as if he hadn't ripped your heart into a million little shreds.

"no. what do you want?" hu-min stared at you for a few seconds before speaking again.

"fine, is hyun-tak here?" he sighed. he didn't want to argue with you, you could see it in his body language — his shoulders slumped, like he was tired of fighting.

"he's not with you?" — your stomach dropped. fuck. now you were worried. if he was out and with hu-min, you wouldn't have been bothered that much. no matter how much you resented him, he had kept hyun-tak safe whenever they were together.

hu-min saw the fear on your face and in that moment, he knew all you were thinking about was that day.

it was a day he'd never forget, even if he wanted to. the smell of disinfectant and antiseptic combined with blood. hu-min still remembers the exact moment he had seen his best friend laying on the hospital bed — hyun-tak's eye swollen almost to the size of a golf ball, cuts scattered across his face and his knee broken and bloody.

then he saw you with tears streaming down your face. you were seeking the comfort of your brother who couldn't give it to you because he wasn't awake yet.

through your blurry eyesight you had locked eyes with hu-min as he was walking towards you and hyun-tak, but you — cold as ever — wiped your tears, got up and walked past him without saying a word. and that was the last time you had spoken to or seen hu-min.

"hey ___, don't worry i'll bring him back safe" hu-min spoke, softly gripping your shoulders, worried that even the slightest increase in decibel would set you off.

god you almost believed him for a second, and you really wanted to believe him but how could you when the last time he'd brought your brother back to you, it wasn't safely, it was the farthest thing from it. you should believe him because it wasn't hu-min who had done anything wrong, it was geum seongje — that bastard.

"you? bring him back safely, what a joke" you scoffed, shrugging his hands off. why were you being so mean? you shouldn't be like this, but you couldn't help it, everything you had pent up for the last year was about to come out in the form of word vomit.

"he got hurt a year ago because he was hanging out with you hu-min!" hurt flashed across hu-min's face which should have been a signal enough for you to stop.

"let me come in please —" he pleaded "then you can scream at me, kick me, hit me, whatever you want, just please let me come in".

you pulled the door all the way open, allowing him to step inside. you open your mouth to speak but before you can say anything hu-min cuts you off.

"i know, i know and i'm sorry. i have felt nothing but guilt for what happened every single day"

you felt your anger rising by the second. "oh you're sorry, that's it? that means everything is okay?" your voice started to tremble.

"do you understand how gut-wrenching it was to hear the doctor say "i'm afraid your athlete days are over" to hyun-tak?". you could never forget the coldness of the hospital room and the way your brother quickly smiled to hide the pain, thanking the doctor for helping him.

hu-min's breathing quicken and you were starting to feeling terrible. you needed to stop, it was more important to find your brother than to argue right now. but you needed to get this out of your system, for your own sanity.

"do you know how depressed hyun-tak was after that? no? of course not because why would he show you? but i knew, i knew how he'd come home after school everyday and just stay in his room until it was time to go to school again".

crap. he wasn't supposed to know that, but you were angry. angry at the fact that your brother got hurt, angry that your brother hadn't been speaking to you during this time but he had been speaking to the person who had gotten him into this situation.

hu-min was starting to get annoyed — he knew, of course he did. hyun-tak is his best friend. they didn't need to tell each other, they just had that understanding — and any other time he would have never gotten annoyed with you but this with baek-jin and his friends who kept getting hurt and the constant trouble, he's had enough.

he takes a few steps towards you — "i am well aware ___, i fucked up okay. no amount of sorries will ever change that fact but i do not need this from you. not right now." he spat.

"not right now?! then well, please tell me when is convenient for you" your chest was rising and falling fast, tears threatening to come out.

shit.

hu-min froze, noticing the tears you were fighting to hold back. he was hating himself at that moment for almost making you cry, and at the same time you were hating yourself for saying hurtful things to the boy you love.

he took a deep breath and cupped your cheeks, trying to look you in your eyes but you refused to look at him. you just couldn't.

"i am trying to make it right, i have broken contact with everyone, hyun-tak included and joined to union to get baek-jin and his lapdogs off the people i care about".

"that includes you" he muttered, hoping you won't catch what he said but you did and your chest began to hurt realising what he meant. he wasn't mad at you, he never was.

you were about to lean into his touch, when it registered what he had said.

"you joined the union? are you fucking crazy!" your words coming out harsher than you intended.

you knew how much hu-min hated the union. it was the reason hyun-tak had gotten injured in the first place. how could he join the place that ruined everything?

pushing his hands off your face, you told him to get out. your head was starting to hurt and you knew you couldn’t take much longer of this.

"what?"

"please just bring my brother back and stay out of my life" you didn't mean it — not really — but right now, he was the only one who you could take your anger out on.

"okay" hu-min said barely above a whisper. opening the door, hu-min stepped out, the sound of it slamming shut echoing.

fuck. what were you doing? you weren't done, there was still so much you hadn't said to him. so much you hadn't asked him, like why he didn’t reach out to you, why he left you alone when you needed him the most, did he feel the same way you feel.

you ran outside, hoping to continue the sort of conversation you were having, hoping to reach a resolution. but when you saw him, half way through the alley, all that came out was "hey park hu-min, it's time to grow up and realise that your actions have consequences on those around you as well!"

you wanted — needed him to realise that joining the union wasn't the right choice.

you waited. hoping, praying he'd turn around and come back and say something, anything to you or at least stop. but he didn't.

you turned around, suddenly aware of the cold gravel beneath your feet. you made your way inside and once you had, the tears started and they wouldn't stop.

you never blamed him, not once, you just didn't know what to do. maybe you were angry at him but that had passed a long time ago. or maybe you were still angry at him, not because of your brother, but because he was holding the burden entirely on his own.

or, deep down, you were angry because somewhere it felt like he'd walked away from you and he never even tried to make it right.

hopefully that was angsty enough 😭 lmk what you thought!