Mi rinconcito digital

Week ends there is no work. I am struggling to know what to do with all my free time. I put laundry to soak and now I would have to go finish washing it. I guess I will feel accomplished after doing that.

I also struggle with wanting to do things by myself and at the same time wanting to join other people. For example, there is a small town nearby where I know there is a cute coffee shop and where I can also do the grocery shopping I desperately need. At the same time I fear that when I leave there will happen something I don't want to miss. But then I might end up not doing anything at all.

It is almost August, time flies by. I like my morning tasks, I water baby plants in the greenhouse and then go to the other greenhouse where the tomatoes are. I take care of the tomatoes and I enjoy it. Before, I didn't know that tomato plants had such a strong smell. So fragrant.

And also, if you touch the tomato plants, and then you wash your hands, the foam becomes such a vibrant yellow. It is so weird.

22/07/2026

We harvested seeds. The ones I did were fennel and they smelled so good. It is an enjoyable task because we can do it indoors and take refuge from the scorching sun.

Another volunteer harvested leek seeds. They are so small, they don’t even look like seeds. 

The image is of the dried fennel once I removed all the seeds.

I planted radishes, potatoes, peas, beans, and other things.

The sun was too strong and I felt light headed, then got a headache. After that I had to take a nap.

Yesterday I introduced myself to the fire. (The tradition of the host)

Today I built a wall with hay and clay. Actually, half a wall. Actually, not by myself, with three other people. I was glad to take a shower in the afternoon.

I'm here, at the work away. Yesterday, the trip was smooth, a three hour bus ride. I slept lightly. I arrived and took a cab to the place.

I really like it here. Today it was a chilly but sunny morning. Felt the sleepiness fade while we warmed up for todays work at the orchard.

Tomorrow I go to my work away. It will be a month

I have read two books recently where I actually feel connected to the experiences described.

Usually I'm not trying to connect my own life to the novels I am reading. In this case it was inevitable.

First, Villette by Charlotte Bronte.

A depressive episode, passivity, self isolation. OMGG. The book itself was a challenge due to the complex vocabulary, my excuse is that English is not my native language. But I got a dictionary (it was free!!) and learned a lot.

The other book is Flowers for Algernon. And the themes I felt related to were the exploration of the subconscious mind, the wish to accumulate knowledge, and the development of relationships.

First digital diary entry of the year. I did forget about it for a long time. I kind of forgot my actual purpose for writing it. Because even if nothing spectacular happened I intended to write anything each day. Maybe what I ate, or heard, thought, felt.

I'll do that.

So now I'm drinking instant coffee with a dash of milk. This semester is my last. The schedule is weird for me since it is at night. I have a meeting with my social service work supervisor.

I lay down for about ten minutes, I was so exhausted. I was open to falling asleep, but I didn't. What I liked was that my mind was thinking without pressure. I just thought, like I used to do when I was younger, thought about stories and about the stuff I have read. I reflected, how shocking.

I have been feeling numb and disconnected, but I fully admit it is because I have Internet addiction (again, how shocking!)

I don't wish to romanticize the past, because I always tell myself, if I could do it before, I can still do it. I have proven to myself plenty of times that I can.

I remind myself of the enjoyment I get out of focus and hard work, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do this.

I will end up doing the work, so why not now?

Changing the topic, my grandma is going back to NY. Her brother is in really bad condition, he refuses help, so what can she do? He has been more open now that he realizes how critical it is, but it is unpredictable.

I don't want to regret anything, even though I wasn't more tolerant when he was here, I just wanted him to stop being so stubborn, I got so angry when he said the medication didn't help him at all (it did). He likes saying controversial stuff. He said a lot of things that made me mad, but why couldn't I just ignore it for his sake, since he is old and sick? It just showed me that I have a deep desire to always be right which in the end doesn't even make me happy.

Twice per week I have 7 am class. That means I have to sleep early. However, last night I went to bed at 9:30 and today I do not feel rested at all. It was very light sleep, I woke up many times.

I'm trying to train my dog, but since she is already over one year, it is hard.

It is hard to be patient, I would love her to behave better, to stop biting hands.

I don't know why I stopped writing, but my goal is to write everyday, even if it is just one sentence.

Today I was a little sick. My mom and grandma went back to NY to accompany my uncle, who is not able to travel alone.

Classes started on Monday and I am happy about that, but the weather is awful. I was so cold yesterday, I was wearing a flimsy sweater.

Also, earlier this week there was such a strong thunderstorm in the middle of the night, the rumbling woke me up, the lightning illuminated my room.