Mi rinconcito digital

First digital diary entry of the year. I did forget about it for a long time. I kind of forgot my actual purpose for writing it. Because even if nothing spectacular happened I intended to write anything each day. Maybe what I ate, or heard, thought, felt.

I'll do that.

So now I'm drinking instant coffee with a dash of milk. This semester is my last. The schedule is weird for me since it is at night. I have a meeting with my social service work supervisor.

I lay down for about ten minutes, I was so exhausted. I was open to falling asleep, but I didn't. What I liked was that my mind was thinking without pressure. I just thought, like I used to do when I was younger, thought about stories and about the stuff I have read. I reflected, how shocking.

I have been feeling numb and disconnected, but I fully admit it is because I have Internet addiction (again, how shocking!)

I don't wish to romanticize the past, because I always tell myself, if I could do it before, I can still do it. I have proven to myself plenty of times that I can.

I remind myself of the enjoyment I get out of focus and hard work, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do this.

I will end up doing the work, so why not now?

Changing the topic, my grandma is going back to NY. Her brother is in really bad condition, he refuses help, so what can she do? He has been more open now that he realizes how critical it is, but it is unpredictable.

I don't want to regret anything, even though I wasn't more tolerant when he was here, I just wanted him to stop being so stubborn, I got so angry when he said the medication didn't help him at all (it did). He likes saying controversial stuff. He said a lot of things that made me mad, but why couldn't I just ignore it for his sake, since he is old and sick? It just showed me that I have a deep desire to always be right which in the end doesn't even make me happy.

Twice per week I have 7 am class. That means I have to sleep early. However, last night I went to bed at 9:30 and today I do not feel rested at all. It was very light sleep, I woke up many times.

I'm trying to train my dog, but since she is already over one year, it is hard.

It is hard to be patient, I would love her to behave better, to stop biting hands.

I don't know why I stopped writing, but my goal is to write everyday, even if it is just one sentence.

Today I was a little sick. My mom and grandma went back to NY to accompany my uncle, who is not able to travel alone.

Classes started on Monday and I am happy about that, but the weather is awful. I was so cold yesterday, I was wearing a flimsy sweater.

Also, earlier this week there was such a strong thunderstorm in the middle of the night, the rumbling woke me up, the lightning illuminated my room.

I am back home with a back ache and a bruise on my knee :P

And with us we brought our uncle. We went to visit him and now he is visiting.

We are taking care of him, though I’m not doing much. He accepted to see a doctor, finally! I think he is scared but he doesn’t want to show it, or maybe he can’t even realize it.

11/06/2025

Haven’t been around because I didn’t bring my computer to the trip, but I just downloaded the app.

What an odd week in many undescribable ways it has been.

I’m in the city, but not in the city, you know? I’m not where the tourists are, have seen few of the things there are to see.

We are going to the concert hall once again. I love that in this city there is accesible culture. It is just a little bit far away :)

Took me a couple of days to feel normal again. And then I started feeling normal. The thing is, I am always worried about losing my loved ones and this was just my first experience of grief.

Yesterday I went to listen to an orchestra. It was weird because I couldn't focus, I thought about other things and reminded myself often to pay attention and feel the music. Most people that attended were old and they looked happy. There was a group of older women, very proper and elegant. One of them wore a flowy blue skirt with a blue sequined top.

We are planning on going again this Sunday.