Nothing's ever gonna bring us down

Chris chewed on his lip. “N-No, you need to um not be injured any further.”  He flashed a tiny, apologetic smile. He instead laced the fingers of one hand with Darren’s hand. That seemed to be a non-injured body part that he could hold onto, without clinging to him for dear life.  He just couldn’t shake the fact that in a split second, he and Darren were both torn out of the world, but not fully with each other. What if this meant that in death, they might not be together?  Okay, that was crazy thoughts, but there was this innate fear of an absence of Darren in his life (or afterlife for that matter).  Even if it was just holding his hand, alone, he seemed to calm down, enough to realize how exhausted he really was.  

He shook his head.  “I - don’t think I could stomach it right now,” he admitted.  True, his stomach was in knots with worry over Darren and the kids (not just the babies, all the kids).  Sleep was the alternative.  Well, maybe if he was certain that sleep would make time move faster, and that Darren wouldn’t go anywhere, he could coax himself to sleep.  In time (while still ignoring the food), his eyelids did become heavy enough where he drifted off to sleep.  Maybe he needed the rest a lot more than he’d ever admit.  However, falling asleep that early on meant that his eyes snapped open the second daylight streamed through the window.  

It was barely 8 in the morning, and he reached for the call button.  When the nurse came in, he crossed his arms and sized her up.  “I definitely have gotten enough R&R to last months.  Can you pass a message to the doctor that I’m ready to see my babies?”  He dared the nurse to say anything otherwise.  It was almost a form of ‘madness’ that set in within Chris.  But he knew that his mind, body, and heart would not be able to breathe out in relief until he had visual and physical proof that his babies were okay.  

Darren smiled weakly and managed to squeeze Chris’ hand when the fingers laced with his. It was definitely a part that wasn’t hurt like pretty much the entirety of the rest of him right now. “It didn’t.. bother me.. really” he insisted though he knew Chris wasn’t going to change his mind and reposition himself again. He slowly managed to run his finger over the back of Chris’ hand, glad that it wasn’t the hand with the IV in it. Chris wasn’t the only one who’d had a scare and Darren too needed the comfort of closeness right now in order to be able to deal with the world.

Chris didn’t eat and it worried him, but he couldn’t really force him to do so either so he just allowed Chris to go to sleep. Darren didn’t  sleep himself really, mostly because he was still terrified that if he did he might not wake up again. Maybe he dozed off for a few because his body sure as hell needed rest but he usually opened his eyes again within a few seconds, and he was awake the few times someone came in to check on them. However, since Chris was sleeping the nurses didn’t talk to him, just gestured for him to try to get some sleep and that was about it.

Chris blinked into realization and he immediately pushed his head away from Darren’s chest. “I - forgot,” he breathed hastily as he wrung his hands. “Sorry, you have to be uncomfortable when I do that, I just… wasn’t thinking.” Of course, he would be concerned if he injured Darren.  It was obvious, if his chest took a beating, well Darren’s was more beaten and bruised. Actually, Chris had taken more of a hit to the stomach than the chest, so he couldn’t even imagine - that and Darren’s healing would take more, given his already weakened state when the events occurred. He instead lay on the pillow by Darren, and he still wrung his hands… what else could he do with those hands?  He obviously wasn’t allowed to hold his children.  That was another mental panic that had set in. His children… he just wanted to see them so badly.  It still felt so unnatural. They weren’t supposed to be out in this cruel, cold world.  They were supposed to be still cooking, and safe. Why hadn’t Chris been able to keep them safe?

He could feel his own eyes well up with tears.  “I just want to take your pain away,” he whispered, and he had to look away.  He felt selfish, that Darren was suffering, all because he wanted to stay here, with Chris, with the kids. He needed to be stronger than this. When a nurse brought in a food tray, Chris shook his head.  “I’m not hungry.”  Obviously that didn’t work.  She set the tray on Chris’ side, but he ignored the food. He didn’t want food.  He wanted his kids, all of his kids, and Darren on the mend.  The idea of stomaching food and not having his family with him, or Darren healthy, just sickened him.  Fully intent on ignoring the food, or the mere scent of it, he channeled his attention to Darren.  They were alone in the room now.  He lightly stroked Darren’s cheek. “I - think I could fall asleep now… you don’t mind,do you?” he asked with a small voice. “You could rest too.  Then when we wake up, it’ll be okay to see our babies?”

Darren made a small sound of protest as Chris moved away when he realized he’d been laying on Darren’s beat up chest. “No.. it’s ok” he muttered quietly. He meant it, it hurt sure, but he hurt everywhere, and so it didn’t really matter at this point. He hated seeing Chris so upset and he noticed the constant wringing of hands as he lay there. “Hey... they’re ok” He said trying to make his voice sound soothing and not filled with pain. “They’ll be ok until tomorrow.” he promised even though he of course didn’t know that. “Then we can see them” he added and he planned to do that himself as well, he didn’t care what he had to do to make it happen. One way or another he was going to see them, because he didn’t know if he could handle not seeing them and he didn’t know how long he was going to be able to hold on either. They’d done some stuff to make him better he thought he’d heard them say, but he wasn’t sure if it was working. It would take a little time before they would see results and in that time things may happen. He didn’t want them to but he was so tired and he wasn’t sure if he would manage until then.

The most impulsive thought of Chris wanted to plot a middle-of-the-night escape to go stake out the triplets.  The more logical side of him wanted to rest. His body was tired, though his mind was fully alert.  It made perfect sense why a doctor and a couple nurses wanted to sedate him for a bit, or at least give him something for relaxation to last him through the night. What more, a crying baby in the next room over caused a bit of an embarrassing reaction on Chris, that being the one of a um, a milk-leaking chest.  He offered a nervous laugh as a nurse helped him get cleaned up, but on the inside, he just wanted to crawl under somewhere and die.  Yes, he was in that awkward phase just after giving birth, but it felt different this time. He felt so out of place, like some weird alien in a foreign planet or something.  Something in his mind told him that the kids near him would make him feel so much better.

But Darren had a point,even if Chris was not 100% keen on that truth.  Chris did feel exhausted, and he knew that his body needed to recover.  They needed to make sure his heart and rest of his recovering, injured body passed the evaluation stage.  But something he did want was to be closer to Darren, so that maybe he didn’t feel so anxious and alone. It was like he was fighting these doubting demons in his mind. He had read stuff about ‘post-partum depression’ in the books, but that hardly affected him before.  Maybe because there was always a lot going on… The last time, it was that he had to spring back to normal fast to take care of Darren.  He knew he needed to do that again this time, but his mind just didn’t want to move past the ‘what if’s’ worst-case scenarios.  

When they were able to move closer together, Chris was able to keep his composure together enough to be able to thank the doctors.  He didn’t want others to think he was losing his mind above everything else.  When the two were left alone, he curled up as he had done so many times before…and rested his head against his Darren’s chest.  He fidgeted slightly, mostly because his chest itched.  There was the dressing on his chest from that ‘pacemaker’ they had put in to help with his heart, to make sure that he didn’t have further complications with that heart murmur.  But there was also that notion that all these less-than-positive thoughts that lurked through his mind.  “I… Understand if it comes to a point where you can’t fight this any longer.  But um, please, give me time to gather my wits if it becomes too hard of a fight.  I … need a plan.”  

Darren was exhausted and the pain was unreal, despite the fact that he’d been given hefty doses of pain medication, judging by how his mind felt all fuzzy from it. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling of late but he hated it. Especially when there was still loads of pain despite the fuzzy feeling. Of course the rational part of his mind knew that he would be feeling far worse without it but it just felt like such a waste. Soon enough they were moved closer, and Chris curled up against hist chest. He tried not to protest as he knew Chris needed it, despite the fact that more or less his whole chest area was still sore from the beating while in captivity and the sprained and broken ribs. There was so much pain anyway, a little more didn’t feel like it mattered versus giving Chris some comfort right then.

He frowned when Chris muttered about how he was allowed not to fight anymore if he felt like he couldn’t do so, and how Chris just needed to be warned so he could make a plan. The thought of that made his heart ache more than most of the physical pain bothered him and despite himself a few tears rolled down his cheeks. He was tired, part of him wanted to take Chris up on that. Wanted to just give in and let the darkness swallow him up and take him away from all the pain and exhaustion, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. He had Chris and all the kids to think about. It would be too selfish to give in now. “Don’t... plan to go... anywhere” he managed quietly though he had to pause a couple of times mid sentence to make sure he didn’t either end up screaming as a wave to pain decided to wash over him.

Chris had to smile back, as he placed his hand gently against Darren’s cheek. “Who says I’m trying to fool you?” he teased softly, with a touch of fondness to his tone, as he gazed at Darren.  He could feel his chest tighten and a lump formed in his throat as he thought of this reality. In a moment, he almost lost Darren forever.  How would he have gone on? But he almost DIDN’T go on.  There were those dark thoughts in his mind.  Both he and Darren could have died.  What would have happened to their children? His mind flashed back to the nauseating dizziness he had felt just after the babies were born.  That moment before he blacked out, when he was shivering cold in Lea’s arms… he told her to watch over them… It was as his body knew he was about to die in that moment… Is that what Darren had felt?

He managed to keep his composure until he got to his bed, and that’s when the tears escaped him.  He hastily wiped his tears and then reached for Lea’s hand, and gazed into her eyes.  “Thank You… for everything,” he said softly, and then closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that she and Jon had both saved their lives that day, all five of them.  How his heart yearned to see the babies right now. It felt like something was missing.  He and the babies were just really getting to know one another from within the womb, and here they were just torn away from there weeks before they were supposed to.  It felt … almost unnatural, like something had clearly been missing.  He put a hand on his stomach for a second, and exhaled a sigh.  “S-sorry - everything’s just … dawning on me at the same time.”  His voice shook softly, and  he went to hastily wipe the tears with the back of his hand, but cringed as he accidentally tugged against the IV on the back of his hand.  

He put his hand down and Lea offered a small, supporting smile and reached for his hand again to squeeze it. “Would it help to know that I got pictures?” she asked softly.  Chris nodded as he held his hand out for the phone to see. “Obviously, they haven’t let anyone hold them yet, well other than the nurses. They’re waiting until you guys are strong enough to go in there, something about skin-on-skin contact, which is supposed to really help them too.  But I got close enough to see…”  Chris couldn’t hold his tears as he saw them, so little, so frail, but so…alive. “Oh… um, please… show Dare.. he should see them too,” he handed the phone back to Lea.  

Meanwhile Jon had been by Darren at this time, and had noticed his change in demeanor.  Both Darren and Chris seemed really anxious about their kids and relieved that their parents had come in to take care of the crew. “Well, we got to see them, not hold them… but see them - oh Lea got the pictures, here, you want to see?”  Lea had come  by Darren’s bedside, and held out her phone, so that Darren could see the babies too.  “Well if you’re not going to sleep, you can get an idea of how these cute, tiny little ones look like… It looks like the boys got Darren’s nose and Chris’ eyes, and Jamie got Chris’ nose and Darren’s eyes…but um, they all got quite a bit of dark hair that’s likely to curl in a matter of weeks. I think  they got your hair.”

At this, even Chris had to comment.  “Oh my god, none of our kids… were spared the Darren hair.”  He had to laugh at this, and then sighed wearily. “I… almost want to go now…say screw what the doctor says, and sneak out to see them. I mean, it can’t be too draining to see your own kids, am I right?”  It was clear that being separated from the twins was something that would leave Chris a bit on the agitated side until he was allowed to go in and see them.  

Darren managed to turn his head enough to look at the phone as Lea came over and held it out for him to see and a few tears rolled down his cheeks as he looked at them. “They’re so small..” he managed weakly as he looked at them then managed a weak smile as Lea talked abut how they looked and who had whose eyes and all that.He managed to look over at Chris who commented on the hair and then laughed. That laugh was the best sound he’d ever heard. Or at least it felt that way right now even though he was just in so much pain and felt like he was still just struggling to hold onto his own life.

“No.” he said quietly as Chris said he wanted to go now. Darren didn’t want him to do anything that might make him sick again. He had almost died and he wanted Chris to stay put. “Tomorrow.” he muttered quietly but in a determined tone. “Rest.” he added, he didn’t want to sound harsh but speaking was exhausting right now and he was just so tired. For a moment longer he looked at the babies in the pictures. One of his own doctors hadn’t left yet, and he looked up at the guy, then weakly gestured towards Chris’ bed, trying to communicate that he wanted to be closer. The doctor looked them over for a bit then considered. Most of the wires could be placed on one side of the bed.

Chris grimaced, in the moment that Darren gave the word of reason to everyone else in the room that lectured him on getting out of the bed. “I think a few days’ sleep was enough for now, but I’ll go back and let you rest,” he commented after a moment as he felt his legs wobble beneath him. Okay, maybe he was a little weak still, but he didn’t need to make a big deal of it. “I’m fine - no - I can do it myself don’t… But if I’m going to the bed, that means I will see my babies tomorrow.”  His gaze was set in steely determination before he brushed his lips against Darren’s own before he slowly turned to make it back to his bed. He still ached quite a bit, and he had to examine the things he couldn’t recall on his body.  He looked down at his chest, where he saw the tightly-taped ribs,  “I need a doctor to come in. I want to hear everything.”  

There were still visions of what he saw when he was unconscious that needed answering.  For fear that people might think him crazy, he didn’t talk about them.  Lea looked at Chris, and saw that he was fighting back tears.  “What’s wrong.”  Chris shook his head, “N-nothing, I guess I really am just emotionally exhausted too.”  He let out a shaky breath.  “C-can you tel me what happened after the babies were born?”  It was in that moment where he knew that what went on in his mind had to be something else. He remembered telling Lea to look over his kids, or making sure someone took care of them. But when she told him (through her own tears) that he had ‘died’ for at least 5 minutes, a lump formed in his throat. “And Darren?” he asked softly. “We almost lost him too, close to the same time.  It was … one of those things you can’t explain or ever want to see again.”  

Chris squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as the tears escaped his eyes.  When he opened them he reached for Lea’s hand. “Thank you, for everything” he whispered.  She and Jon had saved them both.  Meanwhile on Darren’s end, Jon had been beside him. “We got him back on that bed where he belongs. He’s not the only one that needs to rest. You’ve had a rough few days. Um, take it easy little guy.”  He reached over and placed a friendly hand on Darren’s shoulder, and his expression grew serious, but somber. “But whatever you do, that stunt of flatlining at the same time… never again, or we’ll have to just kill you and make it look like an accident… are we clear?”  He shook his head wearily.  The scare with these two!  But at the same time, those babies clung onto life the very same way their dads did.  This was definitely something that ran in the family.

Chris’ eyes widened. “The other kids, who… what - where?”  Lea could see the panic in his eyes.  “Shh, we’re here because we managed to get your moms out of the hospital. They’re resting, and with the kids.  We rotate in shifts at your guys’ bedside, or taking care of your crew at home.  Easy, just rest… do you want me to ring a nurse to bring you something maybe to help you get sleep?  Chris shook his head.  “Mmm-mmm, no… I slept plenty. I just… need to know that things are finally are going right.”  

Darren managed to move his lips just a tiny bit as Chris kissed him and then a super tiny ghost of a smile. “You can’t fool me” he managed quietly then closed his eyes again for just a second as another wave of pain washed over him while he tried to focus on everything other than the fact that he felt like death rolled over. Chris was determined to see the babies, and honestly Darren wanted to see them too, but he also wasn’t going to argue right then because he knew he could barely move as was. However he desperately wanted to be moved closer to Chris’ bed so he could at least see him properly.

As quiet as Lea and Chris were trying to be he still managed to pick up on some of it as Lea explained what had happened after the babies were born and how Chris had almost died. Darren remembered it as clear as day and he remembered seeing Chris in that pool of blood. It was so scary and yet he’d been so detached in that moment. Only focused on trying to do what he could to keep Chris alive as he watched his own body and himself being brought back to life as well.

Darren focused his eyes on Jon  though as he was being spoken to and managed a super tiny nod. Of course he managed a tiny smile as Jon said he’d have to kill them both if they died at the same time again. It was quite a funny statement after all, since if that happened again chances were they’d likely stay dead anyway. The thought made him visibly shiver and tears form in the corner of his eyes despite him finding Jon’s comment funny. He’d almost lost Chris AND everyone else at the same time and it was such a scary thought.

Everything hurt so much that he hadn’t managed to take inventory of his own injuries but now that he tried to make one pain stand out from the others he could tell that he too was severely bruised from them trying to bring him back to life, and he had a feeling his ribs, which had already likely been broken before they were rescued were even more sore if not even more of them were broken now. His doctor hadn’t quite left yet and he asked a few questions, confirming that he was indeed bruised and that they’d had to stop a bleed as well from being revived. However he was also told that they’d gone ahead and done the procedure with the placental cells and that now there was a waiting game to see if it would work right but that it would take quite some time to recover either way.

Finally, things were making sense  His eyes were still a bit out-of-focus, him not wearing any form of glasses of contacts and all, but as for being awake, he was definitely all there. In his mind though, there were a few things unanswered. It was like Darren was with him, but he couldn’t see him. He remembered something was wrong with Darren, like that there were doctors and nurses scrambling to save his life. He didn’t quite know how to talk about that weird dream of seeing everything by standing in the room, but the things Lea and Jon were telling him made that dream feel so real.  But then, that meant something happened with Darren, that they almost lost him that moment.  That was crazy, because Here, Lea, Jon, and now this doctor, were telling Chris that he, himself, almost slipped away too.  Chris knitted his eyebrows together in silent confusion, but preferred not to bring up the subject right now.  His focus was on getting to see Darren was okay for himself.

As they removed the tube and asked him to cough, he did cough and sputter, and he winced at how raw his throat felt. “Ow,” he rasped.  “Is there any water or something I can drink?”  His voice was weak from the rawness of his throat, but definitely a clear sign that he could breathe on his own.  He made to get up, but winced. Oooh, that was tender.  He remembered that after giving birth, he was always sore for a bit, but this was a different kind of pain.  Jon pushed him back on the bed. “Okay easy guy, the doctor told you to stay put.”  Chris glared back.  “I need to see him at least,  Help me across, or push the damn beds together.”  Clearly, it would be more difficult to move the beds together right this very minute, given the monitor and oxygen and IV that Chris was hooked to, and the several tubes and wires and IV’s that Darren was hooked to.  Jon knew better than to argue, and looked over his shoulder to make sure no nurse was poking in again.  

“Okay, but don’t pull your wires, just to the bedside, then back to your bed, okay?”  Chris sighed and held out an arm out for Jon to help him up, and let out a soft hiss of pain.  He reached his hand down to feel his ribs which were bandaged.  Apparently he had broken a couple of ribs and bruised a lung in the process of that beating.  Obviously, he still had something of a residual stomach, having given birth mere days earlier, but it wasn’t as hard to maneuver as when he had been pregnant days before.  His body was mostly stiff and bruised as if he had been run over by a bus.  

“I’m fine now, just… let me be with him,” Chris said softly at Lea, who stepped away so he could have the part by the bed to hold Darren’s hand.  Whispering helped, given his voice was still hoarse, and his throat still so raw.  He leaned forward and kissed Darren softly on the forehead, as there had been a tube in his mouth as well.  Oh god, what had happened to him?  “Hey baby… I came back for you…please come back for me,” he whispered softly in Dare’s ear.  

He hesitated, swallowed hard, and took a shaky breath, as deep as his aching chest would allow.  “Unless it’s too much pain, because then, yeah I understand if you need to let go.”  Tears welled in his eyes. The entire pregnancy, he was so selfish, refusing to allow himself to say it.  He had thought to say it, because in the later days, he could see the obvious pain that Darren was in.  The tubing around Darren would easily get tangled in the tubing that attached Chris to his monitors, so he couldn’t exactly crawl into bed with Darren.  He instead knelt down by Darren’s bed to do the thing he did most frequently throughout the pregnancy, lay his ear on Darren’s chest to listen to his beating heart. A soft smile formed along his lips, as those tears streamed down his face.  Through everything, Darren was still there… It reassured him that if the babies had an ounce of Darren’s fighting spirit, things were going to be okay.

Lea took a step towards Chris.  “Sweetie?  Um, I know you guys want to be reunited, but don’t forget what the doctor said.  You should rest.”  Chris waved her away.  “Just, … I’ll be okay, I need this, now, to be with him.”  Chris closed his eyes and hadn’t noticed Darren opening his eyes.  It was Lea’s gasp that gave it awake. “Darren, he’s awake.”  Chris jolted out of his daze and looked at Darren’s face, noticing his eyes fluttering and then he slowly pushed himself up from kneeling and looked right at those eyes that had melted his heart all those years ago. “Rise and Shine Dare Bear,” he breathed, amidst his tears.  

At this moment, a nurse appeared, a more strict one.  “You, back to your bed,” she barked in a command which caused Chris to jump slightly.  “Jesus Christ don’t they train you people to not sneak up on people who are recovering from cardiac arrest?” he grumbled, as he put a hand to his chest. he knew he was busted, and stepped aside, but only enough that doctors could come in, check on Darren, before giving the clearance to remove his breathing tube.  He wanted to be there to see Darren take his breaths and maybe say something.  He glared at the nurse. “I’ll go to my bed when I’m ready.”  Of course his temper was snappish now, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer right now. 

It was like one of those moments that was in slow motion, but moving fast at the same time. Chris felt his body contracting fast, eager to get this process moving. The quickness to it was dizzying, as he felt even his chest tighten.  He was nauseous, trembling, pale, and in a whole deal of pain.  “N- no - no - this is just a big misunderstanding -” he gasped out as he pushed himself up after the last spell passed.  “It’s about willpower and - FUCKING HOLD IT IN!”  He had managed to get at least halfway across the room before another contraction caused him to slump against the ground.  At this moment, a  new, almost hysterical demeanor hit him as he laughed through the next contraction that rippled through his body.  “What are you guys standing around there for? USELESS IDIOTS!  STOP THIS! YOU CAN’T SEEM TO DO YOUR JOBS TO CURE MY HUSBAND - HAVE A HEART AND HELP ME! - AHRRRG!”

The last contraction had to be one of the worst he had felt, as it rendered him unable to move. It was as if his body were failing him. First, it was failing to keep the babies in just a few weeks longer, and now, it was as if he couldn’t even move.  Was it even normal to feel this drowsy as these contractions ripped through his body?  Or to have such an excruciating headache at the same time.   His head feebly slumped back against Lea, and whimpered softly. “Lea, I’ve been through these before… something’s wrong… something is…”  The next contraction caused his words to escape him.

At the same time, Jon was by Darren’s side, and he reached for his hand.  “He know’s you’re with him… Just stay with him,” he said softly to Darren. The other male could tell just by across the room by Chris’ stare. “I think…well I read somewhere, when people are in labor, they keep their eye on this focal point. Darren just keep staring, he knows you’re with him - okay?  The babies are going to be okay, you’re going to pull through, but just hang in there.”

At that moment, both Darren’s doctor and Chris’ doctor seemed to be in cahoots as they entered practically at the same time. Although weakening, Chris’ snappiness through contractions seeped through.  “Oh no - that one goes…look at the job he’s done with my husband - my guy stays- OH GOD.”  The ninja grip he had on Lea’s hand was something brutal, and even Darren’s oncologist seemed to have figured out something (clearly ignoring the man’s remarks, thinking that was some comment resulting from massive amounts of pain).  “The … placental cells…did he sign to preserve them?” 

Chris’ doctor’s eyes quickly widened. Certainly, this conversation hadn’t arisen. Actually this wasn’t the type of conversation that they would be having for another few more weeks. “W-what is he saying?”  Chris’ words came between gasps,as another nauseating spell hit him, combined with the body-wracking pain. “I - really can’t hold it in m-much l-longer.”  His voice hitched slightly in the break between contractions.  But it dawned on him… he had read about this somewhere… preserving placental cells… stem cells… this was a last ditch effort to save Darren.  “Yes…. -d-do it ,,, anything.  I consent..  I volunteer!”    

He suddenly felt like this intense pressure overcoming him, and it was as if another force commanded him…the natural force of child-bearing at it’s ugliest… He knew eyes were on him. Darren’s were there, and he met Darren’s gaze and flashed a hint of a smile before another contraction hit him.  At this moment, he hadn’t noticed that a couple attending nurses had removed his pants, or that Lea was now dabbing his face with a rag soaked in warm water. “Come on Chris….just let it happen… don’t worry it’ll be okay.”

It took three laborious pushes to get the first one out… Sirius - not even a cry at first, but in time, at least a pitiful little cry…. Chris felt his eyelids grow heavy. He tried to keep his eyes on where they were taking him. He didn’t even have time to plead to hold him when the contractions started up again…. oh god this again. In the midst of one, he felt his eyes start to close. “Chris stay with us, you’re doing so well.”  There was Lea’s coaching, and then the struggle to look across the room.  Again, his mouth twitched up at Darren.  In the background, there was bustle over the first born. Then there was the urge to push again. Chris remembered one instance of the pushing where his head just fell back  against Lea’s.  “If I - don’t…. take care of them, all of them…” Something did feel wrong, but before long, strangled, little Remus came into the world… Then Jamie…. 

At that point, everything rushed - the doctors and nurses over babies in incubators.  Chris could feel his body slacken, failing him further as he shivered in Lea’s arms. “Help me … see them…” She helped pull Chris to a sitting position where he could see tiny babies for a split second before his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He would never remember the fit that had overtaken his body for seemingly ten minutes or so before the medicine seemed to work, or that for a moment he ‘died’ in Lea’s arms.  But there was a strange memory he would remember… which was him for a moment somehow standing in the room, watching people work on his limp body. There was blood, so much blood.  There was Lea, pushed out of the way, and suddenly Jon and Lea pushed out of the room.  Chris tried to protest, but no one heard him.  

He remembered holding Darren’s hand… but weird enough, he wasn’t holding Darren’s hand, because if he was, who was that person on the ground.  But how could he be whispering in Darren’s ear how beautiful their babies were.. babies that were rushed across the next ward over, in incubators, with tubes and wires all around.  He couldn’t truthfully understand that in the midst of reviving Chris, they were able to salvage  the placenta to get those stem cells that they were going to attempt to transfer into Darren in a last-ditch attempt to save him.  

How was Chris supposed to know?  He only woke up several days later, with a tube in his mouth. Jon was by him and exclaimed to Lea. “He’s waking up - Chris I mean!  How’s Darren - has he woken up yet?”  Chris blinked out of his confused daze.  “You lost a lot of blood after they came… you had another one of those post-birth episodes… your heart stopped, you really scared us all you know.”  Chris blinked again, perhaps in apology?  Though his eyes darted around, as if trying to search for someone… and someones. “They’re in NICU - maybe you can see them if you get up and moving… Darren’s the next bed over… we pressed the button, someone should be coming in.” 

To Darren this was the opposite of slow motion, to him everything was moving too fast. Everything was happening in a speed he couldn’t keep up with. His mind was slipping despite his desperate attempt to keep focused. When Chris started screaming at everyone he wanted more than ever to be over there, to hold Chris and to tell him it was going to be ok, that the babies and he were going to be ok even if this was too early and even if there was no guarantee of that. Of course Darren had never been one to give false promises, but at the same time he wanted to make sure Chris didn’t panic and didn’t feel like everything was going wrong. Everything WAS going wrong. He knew that, the babies weren’t supposed to be coming yet, they weren’t supposed to have been in the situation they had before they’d been rescued either. None of this was how anything was supposed to go, and he himself wasn’t supposed to be dying, but he was. He knew he was without a doubt.

Darren managed to glance up at Jon who said Chris knew he was there and he knew that was true, but it was weird, he could tell Chris thought something was wrong, and he knew Chris. He wasn’t one to panic over nothing either, all he wanted was to get up and go over there. All he wanted was to hold the one person who mattered most to him in the entire world when he knew he needed him, but he wasn’t able to do that. Wasn’t able to do more than barely even move his hand towards him. However, he did what Jon was telling him to do, keeping his eyes locked on Chris’ eyes.

As far as Darren was concerned though, they weren’t both going to make it through this, but if he could help it, Chris and the babies would. That way at least the kids wouldn’t be alone, and as much as Chris had said he couldn’t do this alone, Darren knew he could if he had to. Of course he didn’t want him to, but he knew his body was failing him, no matter how much he tried to make his mind fight it every step of the way. Darren could feel the doctor trying to check him over as everything was going on and as much as he wanted to tell the guy to go away and to allow everyone to focus on Chris, he knew that he needed any help he could get to get through this. No matter if Chris was concerned or not about who was treating him. This doctor wasn’t a bad guy, he wasn’t someone to push away. So far he’d done what he could and Darren couldn’t blame him for the situation he was in right now.

He almost screamed as the doctor jostled him a little because even the slightest movement hurt like hell and made him feel like he was on fire. Placental cells? What was this about? Then it seemed Chris knew and despite himself not being able to realize what this was, he almost actually laughed as Chris yelled he volunteered. “As tribute” he muttered, not sure if Chris would have heard him, but they were geeks, no matter what the situation was right now.

Then there were babies, first one, then the other.  Then without realizing how he was watching the room from a different angle. He could see his own doctor working furiously on someone. On him he realized. Had the first baby cried? He felt like he was experiencing some weird thing, this person on the bed must be him, but he wasn’t there. It was strange to say the least and not something he had ever believed in, but here he was. Watching everything from the sidelines. Then there was more babies, but he heard Chris say to Lea that if he didn’t make it she had to take care of the babies. “No” he stated moving over to stand next to Chris. “You are going to make it. They are going to need you!” he insisted. It was weird how calm he felt despite everything going on.

Oh god, there was blood everywhere. Chris was bleeding so much, and now he was unconscious. Then as he was floating next to Chris body he could have sworn he heard Chris talking over by his own. It was weird, because when he looked he couldn’t see him, he could just hear him. It was strange. The babies were taken away but all Darren could see was Chris, how they were desperately trying to get him breathing and his heart beating again. It was all that mattered, he’d completely forgotten about himself.

Then he was pulled back, and everything went dark. After that he didn’t know what was happening, there was only darkness, and a desperate wish to see Chris and the babies. That was all that existed. No pain for the time being but the darkness threatened to swallow him, and he knew if he gave in he would never see them again. Somehow he knew this. He wasn’t aware that he’d gone through that treatment Chris had approved before he’d passed out, he didn’t know if Chris had made it through or not, but he had to believe he’d made it. Had to believe that if he made it himself Chris would be there with him.

So he fought the darkness with everything he could. Then he heard voices, first he heard Jon. Jon seemed to be talking about Chris. Chris was awake? Despite the darkness engulfing him he felt more relief and happiness than he thought he’d ever felt. Then he fought. He’d fought the darkness before, but now he put everything he had into it, one last ditch effort, if he failed now he’d be sucked under, but he fought all he could.

Chris’ doctor came into the room and they helped remove the breathing tube as they realized he was awake and it seemed he could breathe on his own. “The babies still need to be in NICU” he stated as he watched Chris and was still doing some vitals and tests to see how he was truly doing. “I’d like you to stay in bed for at least the rest of today, then tomorrow morning we can re-evaluate and see if we can’t take you to see them. They’re doing ok, weak but stable” he promised to Chris as he worked.

Of course this was Mia’s doing, testing them to see what was more important, Lily, or the money. While it was obvious that Lily was the most important aspect of this ‘offer’ of theirs, they weren’t going to get a damned thing.  Chris could tell that part of this money would go to these people holding he and Darren prisoner.  No, there had to be a better way to escape.   Then the shit hit the fan.  True, something in Chris knew they’d be rescued and safe soon, but the sudden threat against he and his family short-circuited some common sense switch in his brain, and he fought back.  Right now, it was like this pain radiated from his back, to his stomach, but it wasn’t anything that outright alarmed Chris.  Right now the most urgent concern was getting Darren the medical care he needed.  

At the hospital, he met Jon and Lea, both who each went straight to the hospital once Chris was able to contact them (through Darren’s phone).  Chris would certainly have to get a new phone within the next few days or so.  His phone had been completely destroyed when he took that fall.  It was a pity, because he had so much good photos in there, especially of past doctors appointments. He paced quite a bit, despite his friends telling him that it would be much better for him to sit and rest.  But the pacing helped ease the nerves, and it helped with the incessant cramping in his stomach.  Perhaps if he had been thinking clearly, he might think to time these cramping spells, just in case they were something more than ‘fake’ contractions.  But,  that never crossed his mind,  

Finally, he had been allowed in the room, and there Darren had been, unconscious.  Chris could feel himself cracking as he took his hand, and held back those tears.  And then, it seemed like Darren started to stir, and Chris was instantly focused on his husband, and not any lingering pain.  “Dare,” he breathed as relief spread across his face.  “I’m fine… I promise. Just please, rest and recover from this, okay?  We’ve got you all the help you need to be al-Argh!”  Okay this one hurt, maybe there was something to be alarmed with. 

There was a gush of water that escaped, and Chris let out a startling yelp, as he clutched his stomach.  He couldn’t mask this fear.  Something went horribly wrong. “They’re… coming, oh god, they’re coming, someone please stop them.”  He tried pressing his legs together, but that just made the pain that much more worse.

“Lea, here I got coffee - woah!”  Jon almost slipped across the floor.  He looked down, and saw a puddle of water he about wiped out on, with Lea’s hand over her mouth.  Chris, trembling, clung to the railing of Darren’s hospital bed, amidst the tightening pain against his belly. “No, no no, it’s to soon.”  Panic caused him to press the red call button of Darren’s hospital bed.  

Jon’s eyes widened as he was by Darren’s bedside, and he looked at Chris, bewildered before he darted out to drag someone in scrubs in, anyone.  A nurse came in with all this commotion, expecting to scold someone for the loud voices, but then it became obvious this was an emergency. “We need to get him to OB/GYN!”  Chris shook his head, he couldn’t even move, as he gripped Darren’s rail. “I - can’t move,” he half sobbed.  “Someone please help me.”  A doctor rushed in, and immediately recognized Chris as the patient who refused treatment until Darren had been properly checked. “We can’t move him, he hasn’t been examined since he came.  We don’t even know what’s wrong.”  

Lea spoke up, trying to get Chris to move. “Chris- sweetie, come here, I’ll help you. We need to get you to this chair right here.” She took Chris, as he leaned on her, but another hard spasm caused him to collapse to his knees, on all fours. “I can’t - they’re coming - oh god someone please help me - us.”  His eyes stared across at Darren.  “I’m so sorry…”

Darren tried his best to manage a smile, but honestly he felt like hell and he wasn’t even sure he could bring himself to try to make Chris feel better about anything right now. There was so much pain he wasn’t even sure how to deal with it. However, he squeezed the hand that held his as Chris told him to rest and get better, then his face turned into one of worry as Chris pretty much screamed out loud. He stared as Chris let out another yelp and held onto the babybump. Which of course meant that Darren’s hand had been let go of, but he didn’t even care about that, all he cared about right that second was Chris and the babies, his own health be damned. Though honestly he wasn’t even sure his own health was something he could do anything about. He felt like he might be honestly on his last bits of luck here despite desperately wanting to survive this bullshit disease.

His eyes went wider as Chris said the babies were coming and then as Jon slipped on something and he put two and two together even in his hazy state of mind, and figured that they really were coming. He tried to do the math, tried desperately to think about whether or not it was so much too early that the kids were likely not to make it, but he couldn’t. His head just wouldn’t function that way. The only thing he could see was Chris and the agony on Chris’ face. The panic button was pressed and Darren hated himself for not having thought of doing that or even thought of being able to do anything to help.

Soon there were loud voices from Jon, the nurses and everyone really. Chris as well. There was nothing Darren hated more than not being able to do anything but he barely even had the strength to move his head enough to where he could see Chris even as Lea was telling him to get over to a chair. Then Chris was on the floor and staring back at him saying he was sorry, and all Darren wanted to do was to get over there and try to comfort him. To tell him it was going to be ok and that they were going to be fine, but he didn’t have it in him. Instead he managed to weakly shake his head in response to Chris apology, and weakly move his hand towards where Chris was to try to show him that ye wanted to be over there even though he knew that wasn’t an option.

Finally after what felt like forever he managed to get his mouth open. “It...’s... ok” he managed trying to sound like he meant for the apology as well as for everything else. At the same time he felt like such a hypocrite because he didn’t feel like things were ok at all. He felt like his body was failing him even though he was trying so hard to hang on. Felt like he was slowly being ripped away from Chris and the kids no matter what, being dragged under and drowning. However, how could he say that when Chris was in pain and scared? He couldn’t. Besides, he HAD to see the kids at least once. He HAD to make sure that Chris was going to be alright, and he couldn’t go now. Not while all this was going on and while Chris was fighting so hard with the babies coming.

Of course there was room for concern with Darren saying something about bleeding.  Given his blood clotting difficulty, even a bump on the head could cause catastrophic results.  Chris winced in pain as he adjusted himself again, and curled himself protectively by Darren.  “Not to mention, I think there’s some angry people in here, ooh, just a little bit of cramping right here. Not alarming, but just uncomfortable.”  He rubbed soothing circles along his belly, trying to calm down the cramping just a little.  Either the cramping subsided, or his worry for Darren clouded over his own physical discomfort.  “We need to get you to a hospital,” he said worriedly, as he wracked his brain at what to do. His best option was to go somewhere with better signal to send a text, and what better way than the ‘angry preggo needing to use the bathroom’ stunt?

Lo and behold, he got signal, but he had to be quick, as him locking the door only bought him precious seconds.  Fortunately he was quick, and he was able to do this undetected.  Oddly enough, walking seemed to help the cramping.  Maybe that was just being in one position.  When he got back though, the cramping started again, as one constant twinge.  He breathed those calming breaths, oddly the same technique he used for breathing through the contractions when he gave birth to the twins, and it seemed to help some as the cramping subsided.  Or better yet, maybe it was Darren’s touch that made things a tiny bit better.  “Mmm yeah that’s better,” he murmured tiredly.  He felt drowsy, but there seemed to be a keen sense of alertness as that adrenaline still pumped through him. Especially as Darren coughed and gasped for air.  “I did text Lea and Jon…”  At that moment he remembered how fast he stowed away his phone, so he hadn’t even checked. He reached for his phone, under the blanket, and winced again in his own discomfort. “I sent the coordinates of our location, and Lea and Jon each called for help. We just have to stay put.”  

At that moment, he had to slide his phone under his ass to sit on, as those people came back in. “Listen - do this, and we let you go just like that, don’t do this, and we keep you until you do. The lead lady has these papers drawn up, something about wanting rights to her kid back. All you guys have to do is sign on the line, and we let you go, easy as that. Or, you can just cut her a check for $10 Million, and it’s as if you never met. Don’t do that, and I guess we just have to keep you until you either cough up the kid or the cash.” At this moment, Chris’ eyes narrowed. He was pissed, in pain, and now even more disgusted than ever,.  “Give up the kid, she’s not for sale.  She’s our daughter you pieces of shits!”  His hand inched closer to the knife.  Maybe it was the anger crossed with pain that was making him a little crazy, but he just had to wait more, until there was a chance to catch them off guard.

The guys left, and Chris turned his attention to Darren. “Sweetie, hang in there, okay?  Help is on its way.” He cradled Darren close to him for who knows what amount of time before the aching came back which sort of gave him the urgency to walk off the cramps.  In a clearer state of mind, he might suspect that something was wrong.  But right now, all he focused on was his extremely vulnerable, ill, and injured husband who needed medical care like yesterday-ago.  “Shh - just let me walk this cramping off some - I’m right here oka-”  At that moment, he heard steps thundering down where one of the guys, really angry, came at him. “Okay who tipped off the cops?” Chris gave him a bewildered look, and the guy shoved him to the point where he fell and cringed as he realized his phone in his back pocket had crunched beneath him. The guy looked at the shattered phone, then at the fallen Chris, and again, kneed him in the stomach as he got up. “You little shit!  You have any idea what is going to happen now?”  The guy reached for his gun at this point.

Chris did cry out in pain as it literally felt like something tore in him. He couldn’t feel the babies for what seemed an eternity, but it was maybe 30 seconds.  This switched off something insane in Chris as he reached for the knife and literally jumped on the guy and knocked him over.  “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” This was definitely a side to Chris that no one had ever seen. The pain and anger was obvious on his face, but something just kept him going.  He struggled with the guy enough to wrestle the gun loose, which he tossed right by Darren.  By then, the other guys had thundered down…. Who knew what could happen next.  This struggle seemed to last an eternity before they heard steps thundering down.  “Freeze!  Police!”  

At that moment, Chris froze, trembling as he held the knife to the guy’s throat, as tears rolled down his cheeks. “You’re lucky … damn lucky they got here,” he whispered as an officer approached him. “Chris Colfer, Darren Criss?”  Chris nodded as he held an arm out to be helped up. “Please tell me you can get us to a hospital,” he responded faintly, as a dizziness and fatigue spell overcame him.  

The rest of the trip was a blur.  What Chris recalled was getting to the ambulance, and insisting that he didn’t need to be on a Gurney.  Darren did.  But Chris wanted to be by him. Clinging to his blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he held Darren’s hand, and kept speaking to him to ‘stay with him’, that he was going to be okay.  Then there was that agonizing wait to get Darren help at the hospital.  Moments later, Chris was called out of the waiting room and led to Darren’s private suite.  He still had denied any medical care at this point, just wanting Darren to be okay.  Right now, Darren was unconscious, and Chris just wanted him to wake up. “Please baby, stay with me,” he whispered, as tears rolled down his cheeks.  

Darren forced himself to uncurl from his fetal position as Chris checked his phone and his hand went back to carefully rubbing along the baby bump, the feel of the babies moving a little under his hand made him feel more relaxed, so far they were fine, and Chris was ok despite being sore, so that was all that mattered even though he himself felt like he was about as far from okay as he could get.He was too warm, even though he was shivering and he knew that this was an incredibly bad sign. Lea and Jon had called for help with coordinates. For a moment relief flooded him despite how crappy he felt. They just had to hang on until the police could get there and then they’d be out of here. He still felt like he was bleeding internally from the fall and the kick, but he tried to ignore the pain that was just radiating everywhere. This wasn’t the time to give into that.

As the men came inside to state their terms all Darren could do was shake his head. Anger flooded him. So this was Mia’s genius plan was it? There was no way in hell he’d hand Lily over to her. Not if his own life depended on it. She’d lost parental rights in a court of law and if he had to die to make sure Lily didn’t have to go back to that crazy bitch so be it. “You can not have my girl.” he stated and there was a fierceness in his voice he had no idea where came from in his currently extremely weak state. “As for the money, we may not be poor but we don’t have that kind of money laying about!” he growled angrily and then had another coughing fit that once more doubled him over in pain. “If you weren’t aware there has been quite a few medical bills of late.” he stated and it was true. Of course they could likely come up with that amount if they absolutely had to, but three was no way in hell he was going to pay these goons off.

Once the guys were gone once more he allowed for Chris to hold him, he didn’t have the energy to strength to do pretty much anything right now. He was in so much pain and so fucking cold and warm at the same time and he just wanted to get out of there so badly. Of course he had considered he may not make it out at this rate. It was getting harder and harder to stay conscious and to try to keep his attention on Chris and the babies, but he still had his hand resting weakly on the baby bump and every time one of the babies moved he felt like he gained a little more strength to fight. Chris eventually had to move and Darren found himself just lying on the concrete floor, curling in on himself now that he wasn’t resting with his head in Chris’ lap.

Then there was thundering down the stairs and one of the men pushed Chris to the ground. Darren felt like time stopped for a moment as the phone crunched and the guy spotted it. Then he kicked Chris in the stomach and Darren felt like he couldn’t breathe for worry about the babies as well as Chris’ health. He pushed himself up, forced himself to use what little strength he had left to move to Chris, but was pushed down himself, and felt another few swift kicks land to his own body and all he could do was curl in on himself once more, trying to protect his chest and his head from the kicks. The men seemed to think that now they were fucked over anyway they might as well go down for bloody murder.

He heard Chris screaming but he couldn’t move as he felt kick after kick shatter more blood vessels and even staying remotely alert was becoming a struggle.As Chris drew the knife going for the guy with the gun and then tossed the gun over to him, he reached, despite the kicks and the two people were too busy hurting him to notice until it was too late. “Move one muscle and I’ll shoot you both.” he managed weakly as he pointed the gun at them. At that moment he heard another voice calling out that they were police and for no one to move. What little strength he’d had to reach for the gun and point it vanished like a pricked bubble and the gun clattered to the ground as his body went limp.

Everything from here was a blur, he was only half conscious as they headed for the ambulance. He wanted to protest that Chris should get medical attention and that he would be fine, but he no longer knew that to be true. Darkness threatened to swallow him whole and he felt like maybe he wouldn’t wake up again if he gave into it. He vaguely felt the flurry of things being done to him by the medics as they moved him into the ambulance and then there was Chris holding his hand. “I’m sorry” he muttered and then slipped under no matter how hard he fought. Darkness claimed him and he was no longer aware of anything.

At this moment, Chris couldn’t even think to scold Darren for taking risks.  Normally he’d nag and chastise the guy, or at least give him a reprimand and a look of disapproval.  He was just so worried for him.  He, too, was not thinking coherently and doing stupid things that put them at risk.  The chaos that caused them to come to the room to literally beat them again demonstrated this.  Chris wanted to reach out to calm down Darren, but he was paralyzed in the moment, in shock, pain, and fear.  When he recovered, enough to get them to leave the room, at least he was close enough to Darren to know he was there, and coherent.  “I - am better knowing they’re okay,” he half-whispered, as his voice shook. He shifted slightly as his back still ached something horrible. “I somehow feel like I dislocated my spine or something,” he muttered.  

He looked back at Darren, in concern. “Baby - that cough sounded horrible, here, until we get the blanket…”  He shrugged off his coat and then wrapped it around Darren and hugged him close, as if he wanted to keep him warm.  Of course, he felt nauseous, achy, and weak, but his intuition told him to focus on Darren, to keep his strength up during this ordeal.  “We need to get you to the hospital.  That fall could have done serious bleed damage,” he commented.  “My phone has that GPS.  I’m going to try to send that emergency SOS to see if someone can track us.”  He took the phone, slipped it into his sock, and covered it with his pant leg.  Fortunately he could (though barely) reach his ankles).  He tucked the knife into the other sock.  

When they came back and gave them blankets, they stared at them for a while, and Chris glowered as he took the water. How kind of them to give them candy bars. Then again, the sugary food wasn’t great for Chris, as he had no earthly idea how high his sugars could get.  Then again, it had been several hours since his last food, that tiny piece of toast, so the desperation made him eat his candy without thinking, but not until he also handed Darren water and his candy.  But after some time of a staring contest, they left the room again, something about discussing an increase of price with the customer.  Chris pulled his phone out, but under the blankets, which he used one to cover Darren, and the other, to wrap between them.  “My signal sucks, so I can’t make outgoing calls, but I think I can trigger the SOS emergency signal.  Um there, I think - I tried - crap someone’s coming!” 

He quickly shoved that phone back into his sock and made as he was reaching for his water, as he looked at the guy and cleared his throat. “Um … what does a guy have to do to use the bathroom around here?” he asked, looking around.  The guy looked at him.  “There’s a bucket over there.”  Chris gave him an annoyed look.  “Look - I’m not peeing in a bucket - that’s inhumane, demeaning, not to mention totally unsanitary.  You see that guy over there - weakened immune system, and unless you want me whining for hours about how badly I have to pee - you’re going to show me where a real bathroom is at.”  With some hesitation, one guy agreed.  “You, watch the other guy, make sure he doesn’t do anything. You - follow me, and you try anything - you know what’ll happen.  Let’s move it.” 

Chris rolled his eyes. “You try carrying three kids and have a broken foot, and see how fast you move,” he grumbled as he got up and made his way towards the guy.  He turned to Darren. “I won’t be long.”  He glared at the others.  “You hurt him - and I swear, it’s the last thing you’ll ever do,” he growled.  He followed the guy up some stairs, to a less-dingy but still kind of drafty looking loft. The guy stared at him as he walked in the bathroom. Chris went to close the door.  “Door stays open,” the guy told him.  Chris shook his head.  “I don’t think so.”  He slammed the door shut and locked it. “You want to go down for murder for killing 4 people, go right ahead and shoot!”  he taunted the guy, and the knocks and threats subsided.  

Chris sighed and went about his business, but quick enough to bide him time to take out his phone (which was in silence), to send a text convo to Lea and Jon that said:  HELD HOSTAGE - GPS ON - GET HELP - PLZ HURRY. He shoved the phone in his sock quickly and went to the faucet to wash his hands when the pounding returned.  “A GUY HAS TO WASH HIS HANDS!” he called back, as he messed with the faucet to wash his hands, but groaned at the idea of no soap.  “You guys are disgusting.”  He unlocked the door and held his hands out.  “Nothing - except … soap-free washed hands, happy now, okay I’ll go back.”  

The walk back - another twinge hit his back, and he had to stop for a moment to catch his breath. The guy nudged him to go forward. “Easy - I just needed to catch my breath over here, you try hauling all this.”  God, what the hell did he do to his back?  Though, he was starting to feel the beginning of that nagging cramping along his stomach, and he realized he hadn’t had much water.  Fortunately they had just gotten back to the room where the other two goons were watching Darren, and Chris sank to the ground, but not before he let out a small hiss in pained discomfort.  “All this stress isn’t settling well,” he murmured in Darren’s ear.  “I don’t think the kids liked that dislocated spine smash I did a bit ago.”  

Darren was more than a little concerned for Chris and the babies but he wanted to burst out sobbing when Chris confirmed that the babies at the very least seemed to be ok for now. However, he worried when Chris said he felt like he’d dislocated something in his back. That wasn’t good, especially since the babies were supposed to stay in there for a while longer, and if Chris was going to have back issues on top of everything it was going to be a few hellish weeks. Hopefully it was just a stretched muscle or something like that so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of this for the rest of the pregnancy. “Well I’m glad they’re ok and moving.” he said quietly. “Not so glad your back hurts, but hopefully it’s just a muscle that was hit a bit hard when you fell” he said quietly.

“I think I might be bleeding a bit...” he admitted quietly then coughed harshly again as he was wrapped in the blanket and leaned in close for warmth as Chris tried to offer him just that. The coughing hurt his side and ribs and he tried his best not to whimper because he didn’t want Chris to worry more than he had to. Instead he closed his eyes and just tried his best to relax. It wasn’t easy, especially considering he was so fucking scared and furious right then. “I think the gps thing should work” he whispered, but he wasn’t sure about that, he could hope though. “Just... be careful though” he added the coughing taking him over again for a moment and all he could do was try to not cry out in pain.

Soon enough the guys came back with water and the blankets, at least that was something. He didn’t mind being wrapped in the blanket and he drank some water, then nibbled on the side of the candybar, but he wasn’t sure he could stomach that right now, he tried though and managed about half before putting it aside from now. It wasn’t good for Chris to eat his but he supposed so food was better than none no matter how you looked at it. No food could be just as bad for someone with diabetes as too much sugar. So hopefully it would balance out somehow. Soon enough the guys were gone but he frowned as Chris mentioned how he couldn’t make calls out, then he turned the GPS on and the guys were coming and Darren was for a moment deadly worried that Chris might get caught with the phone.

Watch the other guy... like Darren could even do anything if he wanted to right now. He could barely stand moving at all and every few moments he was coughing so hard he thought his lungs might be coming out of his mouth. “I need to be in a hospital.” he tried weakly as the other two guys watched him, the guns pointed at him the whole time. “Do you want to go down for manslaughter?” He asked then curled into a tight ball as the coughing overtook him once more. He felt like his chest was on fire, hell he felt like he was on fire himself, even though he knew it was really cold in there. “You’ll go down for manslaughter if I don’t get to a hospital... soon” he was being honest and while Chris wasn’t there he let himself cry out every time he coughed, not loud enough to carry upstairs, but loud enough to worry the guys and enough to where he felt like he wasn’t holding back too much, holding back was exhausting.

‘Protect Darren, Protect the babies,’ that was the only thing going through Chris’ mind.  He wanted to argue with Darren, give him a thousand reasons to prove why he was the most likely one to survive a bullet if it came to it, but there wasn’t time to argue, because things just happened so fast.  Of course Chris fought the most the instant they separated him from Darren.  He swung, he kicked (forgetting in the moment about a boot-clad foot), he scratched, he knew he had elbowed some serious amount of ribs, but when he was restrained, he was helpless.  But they didn’t search him enough to realize that he kept his phone and a knife in a secret pocket inside his jacket on this drafty fall day.  There was a reason he had this pocket, because he never wanted the wrong person to get their paws on his phone.  The knife, well, he was kind of a ninja, and he really preferred that as a form of self-defense rather than a gun.  He needed to be left alone, no, he needed to find Darren, then he could figure out what to do.

He couldn’t see.  Not only was he pretty damn blind without glasses, his nighttime vision was horrible without them.  He was damned blind in the dark.  Chris could feel a lot of other discomforts.  He could feel that nauseating flush of increasing blood pressure and the heart palpitations that accompanied it.  His head throbbed, and that cut absolutely stung.  He felt a nauseating dizziness, which meant that he needed food, and he was parched… Lack of water meant cramping.  Usually when the fake pains happened, water and a change of position made it all go away.  Being in this awkward sitting position and lack of water, Chris was bound to feel much more uncomfortable in the next couple of hours.  Dehydration induced muscle contractions.  One thing that Chris could not afford was strong enough muscle contractions where it mattered the most.  He needed to stay calm, but easier said than done.

Then there was this thud, and Darren.  “Sweetie - “ he gasped, feeling his breath come quickly.  He was about to go into a full-blown panic, but he needed to think.  “Just - hold still - I’m fine … I just need to think…”  Tears trickled down his cheeks, in fear, in frustration, but most of all, in fury.  “I’ll kill her, I swear, when I get my hands on her - I -…” he winced slightly at a cramp that twinged his back.  He needed a better position.  He squirmed slightly, as his fingers detected the firm knotting around the rope.  “Dare - before they come back, I am going to tilt my chair towards your hands, try to reach into my jacket…”  He tried to lean his chair awkwardly, but the lack of balance only knocked him over beside Darren, and that noise, they heard.  

Chris remembered footsteps, and angry ‘HEY!’ and a firm kick to his stomach which knocked him back.  He tried to stifle the surprised and anguished cry, not knowing if there was damage done, but as his air escaped him, so did the strangled cry.  “If you’re going to hit me, don’t hit there, don’t hurt them!” The guy stopped and looked at Chris bewildered. “Them,” he repeated, and he shone a flashlight to Chris’ face which caused him to wince as his headache intensified.  Fuckers gave him a concussion!  “Are you that stupid that you didn’t notice you snatched off some pregnant person off the streets?” He was pissed at this point to which the guy stepped back.  “She didn’t say that… Liability - this could be worse than we thought, we might have to do this our way.”  

“Please just untie us - he needs to be warm, he’s sick.  I - can’t be tied up like this, it’s not good for me at all, please.” Normally he wouldn’t plead, but anything to get it their way.  “Untie us, and leave us here, lock us in if you have to, but just at least have some decency to give a couple of guys blankets and water.”  With some hesitation, they untied them, but not without guns pointed at them. “Any move, and that’s it, got it?”  They were untied, and Chris’ hands went instantly to his stomach as he willed them to start moving.  He wasn’t sure if that kick hurt them,  He hoped they didn’t. “Uh - we’ll be back with the blankets then.”  The guys were saying other bits of conversation, but Chris couldn’t make it out.  Again, he ran his hand over his stomach, trying to stimulate them.  A sob escaped his lips as he felt some movement.  They were alive.  And there was Darren to worry about. In that struggle, he had almost forgotten Darren was in the room too.  

“Baby, you … okay?” he breathed as he scoot closer to Darren.  “I - have that knife,” he whispered.  “When we get the blankets, we’ll wait for them to leave, and see if I can get anything on my phone.”  His voice shook, and his body ached, and his head throbbed, but he just wanted Darren and him safely out of there.  “What do we do?  Go in for the kill, or try to call for help?”   

Darren took a few deep breaths, his ribs hurt like hell and he just felt like he had been beaten badly even though he knew it hadn’t in fact been that bad, but with the easy bruising, the more bleeding and everything else going on he felt like he’d been through the ring a few times. He could feel several cuts bleeding and he could feel some bleeding around his ribs but not through the skin. “Hey...” he muttered looking up at Chris. “I’m alright, it’s... I’m alright I just wanted to see, make sure you were alright.” he admitted. Of course he knew Chris was going to be pissed off at this but he didn’t care right then. Then Chris leaned and Darren gasped as Chris crashed to the floor. “Oh my god! Are you alright?!” he asked again worried as hell, but before he could say anything more the guys were back.

Darren let out an infuriated yell and somehow managed to wriggle towards the guy kicking Chris. “ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND!?” he screamed anger boiling over, it took a lot to get him this angry, but threaten his family and anyone was fair game. “SHE can go to hell, and if you keep helping her you will eventually too. Don’t for one second think she won’t throw you under the bus the second she realizes she’s been caught!” he growled anger practically radiating off of him. “Seriously! Just fucking untie us.” he growled. “Or at least untie him, I don’t even give a shit, leave me if must be but don’t you dare fucking risk the kids!” The men seemed to respond to Chris better than him though and one guy managed a proper good kick at his ribs before Chris managed to talk them into undying them.

As they were untied he curled in on himself, just trying to catch his breath from the kick and trying to figure out how much damage had been done here. Soon enough they were gone and he watched as Chris moved his hands along the baby bump. Relief was clear on Darren’s face as well as he could hear Chris’ sob and he felt tears on his cheeks. “Are YOU ok? All of you?” he asked as an answer to Chris question. Then he coughed a little and frowned. “I don’t know” He admitted weakly. “Everything hurts” he admitted with a frown. Not only that but he knew he should be cold but he felt hot. Maybe this was what had been going on the whole time today? Maybe he’d been getting sick? Either way he felt awful as some of the adrenaline left him and he started feeling how bad the injuries they’d caused were.

Chris laughed, as he put his hand over Darren’s.  It was moment like this, brief seconds, where Chris could forget how serious other situations were, and he could just bask in the magic of the moment. “Mmm, it’s hard to imagine that at some point, it was that easy.”  He laughed softly.  “But you know, we’ll try to make sure things are easy on them for a while, won’t we.”  He exhaled a soft sigh. “And as much as I’d like to be lazy and lay here forever with you, I need a shower.” 

He did focus on the shower, and concealing his own breakdown. It was like he couldn’t escape this paranoid fear that he was going to lose Darren and be alone in the world.  For a few weeks, sleep was his solace from escaping the thoughts, but now they were starting to seep into his subconscious.  He felt like he could be even going a little mad, but the last thing he wanted was to start wedging that awkward space between them as he had in the first weeks following Darren’s diagnosis.  

It was a given that the lack of being able to tie his shoes - well shoe - was certainly the thing that could put Chris over the edge, especially since he was already kind of awkwardly self-conscious about his appearance lately.  But it really wasn’t that at all.  It was a mix of that fear of losing Darren, of being alone, of the world being such a bleak place, and then to top it off, he just felt awkward these recent weeks. It was also expected that with such thoughts racing through his mind, of course he wouldn’t be able to stomach food.  Apparently, neither could Darren, because they were only there eating toast briefly before they headed out the door.  

When Darren first mentioned walking,Chris cringed slightly and shook his head. “I’m too huge, awkward, and clumsy to escape the masses. I don’t think this penguin waddle would take me that far, boot or no boot.” He reached over and smoothed some hair away from over Darren’s eyes. “Besides, you look so tired. Yeah,calling a driver would be better.”  Before too long, the driver had arrived, and Chris clumsily slid in the back and waited for Darren to get in.  As Darren leaned back, Chris leaned against him, and again pressed his ear against the other man’s chest. But moments later, he lifted his head as he frowned at the surroundings.  “This isn’t the way to the hospital -” he began as he leaned over to speak to the driver.”Hey - did you hear me, this is the wrong way.”

Suddenly he froze and limply sat back as the guy drew a small handgun out and pointed it at him. “There’s been a change of plans.  We’re going somewhere else.”  Chris’ instinct was to guard his stomach and sort of shield over Darren.  He was afraid to even speak, except for one point where he whispered in Darren’s ear. “He starts shooting get behind me. You still bleed out more easily.”  He didn’t stop to think of anything except protect the babies and protect Darren.  But on the inside, he was terrified. But it wasn’t until the car stopped that things got more terrifying - as that was when they suddenly stopped, were forced out of the car, pillowcases were shoved over their faces with only tiny slits not to suffocate them, and they were separated for what seemed to be ages, but maybe had been about an hour’s drive.  

Of course Chris tried to fight off anyone restraining him and taking him away from Darren, which probably explained his initial reaction to fight it. He might have succeeded if he wasn’t hit upside the head with some blunt object (which he’d later find out was the back of a gun), which rendered him unconscious in the separate car, and left a cut along his forehead.  The next thing he remembered was waking up in a dimly lit, drafty, dusty room, where he was tied to a chair.  Blood trickled down the side of his face where he had been hit, but he couldn’t even reach his hand around to wipe the blood away.  “Dare - “ he breathed, not quite able to see, since the hit to the face had knocked his glasses off his face, and clearly out of sight, probably in the place where he had gotten hit. 

“Why are you doing this!?” he screamed out at the people - not able to make out shapes of the faces or figures who looked like shadows in the dim lighting, especially with Chris’ lack of corrective lenses.  The people hesitated in speaking directly to him, and rather spoke among themselves. “Remember, she said to hold them until she says so.”  

Darren frowned a little at Chris’ cringe as he mentioned that they might walk, and he supposed he could understand where Chris was coming from though he’d thought some fresh air might be good to clear the head and heart a little. However, he wasn’t going to argue today, there just was no energy for it. “Yeah I’m pretty tired” he admitted wearily. “I don’t know... bad day I guess, they still happen.” he shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal even though it was in fact a big deal and he felt like he might just have another meltdown. Soon they were in the car and as Chris leaned against him, he wrapped his arm around Chris and tried his best to relax, though he didn’t feel even remotely relaxed.

Then there was Chris commenting that this wasn’t the way to the hospital and his eyes shot open as he scanned the area. Where the hell were they going, this wasn’t even remotely the right way and couldn’t be considered just another route from their regular one. No this was something entirely different. “Hey did you hear?” he asked then he too froze as he spotted the gun, hardly breathing as he stared down the barrel. “Hell no” he whispered back and shifted slightly so he’d be more able to cover Chris and the babies. “I’m not going to let you and the babies get in the way of a bullet for me” he whispered fiercely back. “Let’s just... make sure we don’t have to take one at all” he managed, his voice shaking, clearly he was freaked out as well.

Change of plans... going somewhere else. Oh this couldn’t possibly be good. Soon enough they were stopping and Darren both yelled and fought as much as he could, but in his weakened state there wasn’t much he could do, and soon everything went black for him as something hit him. Then he was inside a car, going somewhere, not knowing where, but instead of fighting he tried to get any sort of clue where they were, counting turns in the road, left and right then right then left and so on. If there was going to be any possibility of him managing to get something happening to free them he wanted to at least try to figure out how far they’d gone and where to, though he didn’t know how much he’d been unconscious for. His head throbbed and he could feel blood on the back of his head.

Soon they stopped, this time he didn’t fight he lay limp as he allowed for them to carry him inside somewhere. It was damp, cold, smelled moldy and dirty. Eventually his face was uncovered and he could at least look around. The men who’d carried him inside had masks though so he couldn’t tlel who they were. He spotted Chris and almost freaked out. “Chris!?” he called out, then again and again as he saw the blood trickle down his face. Thankfully Chris stirred and then he heard his name. “I’m here.” he whispered tiredly and tried to shift so he could at least see him, which was hard the way he was tied to a chair. He wriggled, enough for the chair to fall over and him to hit the ground hard on his side. It hurt like hell but he managed to not grunt. Then he saw Chris better and knew he’d be in Chris’ line of sight.

Chris’s tension eased up some at Darren’s touch.  There was just that thing about Darren’s presence and embrace.  Chris could be having the worst moment, and just being with Darren would relax him.  That was a huge reason for why he was so terrified.  He couldn’t imagine a passing second without Darren in his life. He tried so hard to keep this panic at bay so that Darren wouldn’t notice, but with the emotions and with the exhaustion lately, it was just so difficult.  

He playfully pouted at the mention of being good and doing the responsible things to stay healthy but then broke into a fond smile when Darren greeted the little ones.  There was just something special about his touch.  And the kids always seemed to react to it.  “Oh look, they’re like Daddy I’m awake now!  That’s the life, nap, and eat.”  He winked at Darren at this, and ignored the knot at the pit of his stomach.  God, every time he thought of all the good things, something inside his mind reminded him that those good things could very well be timed.  Before any panic could set in, he decided to get ready and take his shower.

He waited until the shower started and he stepped in (with music - Hamilton Soundtrack this time), and figured that the music could at least stifle the sound of his crying. He didn’t want Darren to see that breakdown.  It was already becoming so much.  The nightmares, the day-to-day apprehension, not to mention his hormones were up and down, but mostly down as of late. He pressed his arm against the shower wall and cried into his arm, a good few minutes, 10 maybe, to let out all that emotion.  Fortunately he was in a shower where hot water could run on his face just for a moment…. After that, he went about the usual shower routine washing his hair and body, before he turned off the faucet, exited the shower, and went about his usual morning prep routine of getting dressed.  

…But those damn shoes… He had officially reached the can’t tie my shoes phase.  He could feel the tears threatening to well up in his eyes again, but he could blame it on frustration about the shoes.  Actually, he was thinking of what would become of him if it wasn’t for Darren. That nightmare had been strangely accurate as to what could happen at rock bottom. But he wasn’t supposed to think that way.  Why did he think that way?  He wiped his eyes and then rolled them.  “Thanks baby, you’re my hero,” he murmured, as he obliged to get up so they could get to that appointment.  

Even while hungry, today was different.  Maybe Chris was shaken up by that dream a little too much that the panic nauseated him.  He caught a smell of eggs, and for the first time in weeks, he launched himself towards the bathroom where he emptied what little had been in his stomach.  Ugh, it was going to be one of those days of surprise aversions to food!  He managed to clean himself up and return to choke down some dry toast before they were headed out the door.  Chris stopped for a moment, and pulled out his phone.  “So - um, should we call for a driver, then?”   

Darren couldn’t help a small chuckle as Chris said the kids were awake and trying to show him they were. It was true though, he could feel them shuffling around in there and it was pretty awesome to be able to feel that. For a moment he let his hand play catch on the belly as the kids tried to kick his hand. Of course he knew he couldn’t do this for too long or it would get uncomfortable for Chris but for a few seconds it wasn’t going to be a problem. “Yeah.. imagine if life was that simple” he mused and for a moment the smile was replaced with a frown. What he wouldn’t have given to really have life be that simple right now. Eat, nap and eat more. That would be the life really.

Of course he didn’t head Chris crying in the bathroom, he was too busy crying in bed to notice. For a moment he felt like he might lose all and any semblance of control, and just down right sob uncontrollably, but by the time Chris was making his way back into the bedroom, he was calmed enough for it to hopefully not be too noticeable that he’d been crying. Though we he bent down to take care of tying Chris’ shoe he noticed Chris was in fact crying. Was it just the shoes? Or was there more to it like the nightmare he’d woken up from? Maybe a little bit of both, but he couldn’t blame him. He himself was scared of dying at this point, and he could imagine that if he was in Chris’ shoes he’d be horrified at the idea of Chris dying and leaving him alone in this world.

For a moment he felt like he might start crying again, so he spent a little longer on the shoe than he strictly had to. Pretending to fumble a little to be able to buy some time and regain some control of his emotions. When Chris stated he was his hero he managed to offer a small smile before he pushed himself back up to his feet. Really he wasn’t sure how he was going to get through today without melting down every few seconds. Mostly because his emotions just felt so frayed today. Like they’d been stretched too thin for too long and were now about to break into a million pieces.

Soon they were headed downstairs and Darren couldn’t make himself eat. All he managed was to nibble on a piece of toast before putting it back down and pushing the plate away a little. Chris didn’t seem to be able to keep the food down either and so soon they were on their way out the door instead. Neither one of them seemed to be in a good mood today so the feel of the moment was kind of dark as they got to the street.

Chris exhaled a weary sigh.  “I feel like I’m becoming this hysterical person.  I mean thank god I’m no psychic, else I’d be in the loony bin by now.” Although still shaken by how vivid that dream was, his mind was starting to hone in on reality versus imagination.  He did knit his eyebrows together in concern as he peered at Darren.  He looked a bit more pale than recent weeks, and perhaps more tired. Was this one of those - you get worse before you get better a couple times- sort of thing? Because he could have sworn Darren was doing a lot better a couple weeks ago.  Of course, paranoia and fear were two things that lurked in Chris’mind lately.  He pushed those fears out of his mind, and listened to Darren.

“That’s a good idea, um, I mean, better safe than sorry, right?”  Chris bit his lip in the same way he did when he could have sworn he forgot something.  “I have an appointment anyways, you know just a floor above.  They want to give me that disgusting blood sugar screening, you know the one with the nasty stuff I have to drink.  Also a scan to make sure that everything is going alright up in there.”  Doctor appointments were a pain with Chris lately, because the latest concern was keeping track of his heart and blood pressure.  But so far, things were pretty much controlled.  The only complaint Chris really had was with his sleep habits.

The mention of food caused Chris to perk up. Okay, maybe he was a little too excited about the prospect of food lately, but growing three people meant that he needed to keep up his strength. “Um- maybe we could try that new Italian restaurant down the road?  I know they have a good soup that could at least be something you could work with,” he offered.  True, and pasta really seemed like something Chris could go for right now.  

He sat up on the bed and maneuvered his legs over the side of the bed as he gingerly put pressure on his boot-free leg as he stood. Of course, he couldn’t be sleeping or showering with it, so there were instances where he had to limp around boot free first thing in the morning.  “Ugh, everything creaks when I stand up, from my back to my knees.”  He flashed an amused smile and rolled his eyes. “But, I need a shower. From the looks of it, pity you already took one.” He obviously was teasing.  At this point of the pregnancy, and as clumsy as he still was with his leg still a bit on the weak side, he took up space in a shower - mostly using an arm to prop him up as he went about every shower business. 

He re-emerged, towel wrapped around his waist, though he shied away from looking at his reflection in the mirror just yet. Lately, Chris had started to get self-conscious about his size, and he hadn’t even reached the end of the line.  When he re-emerged, he was clad in a pair of altered jeans and a fitted Tshirt over an open button-down shirt.  This time, he trolled the public more wearing a white shirt with the button-down being blue with thin pink pinstripes.  His hair had already started to grow to the point where he could style it and not have to wear a hat. It had reached a point in Darren’s treatment where his hair was starting to grow back, so Chris spared the public of views of his own intentionally shaved head.  He sat at the side of the bed and worked on getting his shoes, well shoe (thanks to the other one being clad with a boot) on,  

However, it had reached a point where his stomach prevented him from bending over to tie his shoe.  Chris shifted again to try to reach his foot from the side. When defeated, he collapsed back on the bed.  “Um Dare…I think I reached the point where I have to stick to flipflops or just not wear shoes anymore. Can you help me tie this shoe?”  Of course he was meek about it.  How could he possibly get any larger than he was right now?  

As Chris talked about the nightmare, Darren gently placed a hand on his back, rubbing small circles there. “It’s ok though, there’s nothing like that going on and we’re all still here. I know those nightmares must be awful but at least they are just nightmares and as soon as you wake up we’ll be here to greet you” he smiled a little and kissed Chris’ cheek. So he was having a shit day himself so far, but that was no reason not to be a good husband and try to comfort Chris when he woke from one of these. Even though lately he felt like he was kind of living a nightmare himself. Everything was still so uncertain, he still wasn’t considered well even though he had been feeling better and every morning felt so uncertain. It felt like he was on the brink of disaster constantly. He didn’t mention it, not now.

“Yeah better safe than sorry” he agreed as Chris stated that. “Well we might as well get two things done at once. I know neither of us enjoy going but at least then we won’t have to go more than the once to get everything taken care of.” he mused. “I know you hate these appointments but we need to make sure you and the babies are healthy and happy.” he reached out and gently touched the bump that contained their three babies. Three. It was pretty insane really when you thought about it. Mostly because well, they already had quite a few kids. They’d have to have help watching them when they both went back to work full time, but that was ok. They’d make sure to spend enough time with the kids to not have them feel like their parents were always gone.

“We can go there on the way back” he agreed as Chris mentioned the Italian place down the road. “I think we should eat some of what’s already been made for us downstairs before we leave. I mean she works so hard to keep us all fed and happy” he stated and besides they’d want to maybe eat some with the kids first. It was nice to have someone helping them with the kids now though. Especially since Chris was moving towards the end of term with the babies and he himself had some days still where everything was just so exhausting. Today he had a feeling was going to be one of those days. Hopefully though it wouldn’t be something that happened every day again. That was the last thing he wanted. Besides, if that happened then that as a clear sign he was getting worse again and that was something he was absolutely terrified of.

“I did already shower” he admitted, though he also knew that them showering together right now probably wasn’t going to work. So he allowed Chris to get to the shower himself and just waited. While he waited the dread crept up on him again and he found himself crying hysterically into a pillow for a little moment, making sure to keep it as quiet as he could so Chris didn’t hear it in the shower. There was no need for him to worry more than he already did. It was just that he’d felt so optimistic when he was feeling better, but now he was so scared he almost felt paralyzed. When he heard the shower stop though, he forced himself to take deep breaths, dried his face and just made himself calm down.

Chris had definitely hit that ‘in-between’ point of the pregnancy.  The way his body ached and creaked and occasionally leaked (damn bladder kicks and allergies), he was just about ready to pop, but not quite ready to let the kids leave the safety of the womb. Obviously, there was at least five weeks to go before he was even considered ‘of term’ to deliver, so that wasn’t so much a problem, if it wasn’t for the nesting.  Of course, just the other day, they took off the leg cast, and put Chris on a boot that let him walk, well kind of clomp, and waddle, given that his belly seemed to grow more every week or even couple of days as Chris was concerned.  But still underweight for this stage of a multiple pregnancy (definitely all baby), still clumsy, and at risk for pre-term labor, his doctors had put him on modified bedrest - he was allowed to move around the house, not lift more than 20 pounds, and especially stay away from ladders.  Other than that, he could leave to go on brisk walks, but refrain from jogging, such walks only limited to 30 minutes, tops.  

Like these late-pregnancy days, he had a habit of tossing and turning until he was comfortable, getting up to go to the bathroom every minute, and then there was the pregnancy nightmares.  Given that he was off any sleeping medication (because of the pregnancy), he always was prone to funny sleep habits… sleep shopping, sleep eating, sleepwalking, and even sleep cleaning (what had landed him in the foot cast in the first place).  But these nightmares were the worst in the way that they were so vivid, and so focused on his biggest fears… Losing Darren… Losing the kids… Losing his family.  

This nightmare had been the worst.  Something about Darren dying, but Chris taking this huge risk to save Darren that damaged his own health, a tangle of a web of lies, a messy divorce, and Chris alone in a room, knife in hand, and later, a blood - splattered suicide note that said ‘forgive me’.  Everything faded to black, and then suddenly the fog lifted, and there was Darren, speaking to him. Oh it was only a dream, a horrible, horrible dream.

Chris let out a shuddering gasp and buried his face into Darren’s as he choked back a sob. “You’re here, Dare, I - it was awful. I - really messed things up, and then I lost all of you.”  It took him a moment to get himself together, some deep breaths, a few swipes to the nightstand to get his glasses, and then Chris peered back at Darren. “Those dreams, oh god.”  He exhaled a deep sigh and then pushed himself up to sit, and he rubbed a spot of his swollen stomach.  “Oh, looks like we’re all waking up now, and really happy that was just a dream. How are you, sweetheart?  Good day or bad day?”    

At that moment, he just realized he was absolutely famished.  Okay, his doctor said to watch what foods he ate, due to his sugar levels, but for right now, he had to eat something.  He opened the drawer of his nightstand, and pulled out a candy bar, which he took a piece of, to snack on it. “God, I’m so hungry, I wonder what Elena is making us this morning,” he wondered out loud, thinking of the private cook/housekeeper they recently hired.  At first Chris had been really hesitant about hiring more help, but it was coming in handy lately. Especially, because she was good at meeting his craving needs throughout the day. 

A frown immediately covered his face as Chris gasped and then sobbed and he wrapped his arms as closely around him as he could as Chris buried his face into his chest. “Hey... sssh” he said gently as he hugged him close trying to make him feel better. “You haven’t lost any of us, and of course I’m here.” he whispered. “I don’t plan on going anywhere if I can help it.” he promised. For a while he just gently hugged him until he made a move to do something else. “It’s ok, you’re ok, we’re ok” he insisted and then smiled a little as Chris sat up. “Of course it was just a dream” He offered a warm smile and leaned in for a small kiss. “Tired, a bit sore.” he admitted. “Not the worst day and not the best day I suppose? Somewhere in the middle?” he asked quietly.

Of course he was still in a half panic at the thought that something might be severely wrong still. At the same time he definitely felt like it might be a bad idea to talk to Chris about his concerns right this moment. Not right after he’d had a dream like that. “I was thinking...” he said quietly instead of saying that he felt worse than he had for a while. “That maybe.. just in case we could just go to the doctor’s office to have some blood taken. Better safe than sorry right?” he tried to keep his voice and mood light because he really didn’t want Chris to get upset again, they needed to keep him calm and relaxed right now.

Chris certainly had to really work on containing his outward emotion, especially these days.  He really didn’t want to let on to the rest of the world how hard this really was, and he didn’t want to burden Darren about it, but if left alone to stew in his thoughts, he was sad. What kept him going and taking care of himself was Darren and the kids. Especially now, if it wasn’t for these three babies growing inside him to poke and prod him to get up to eat, or get up to go pee, he might just never leave his bed,and lay there listlessly, waiting for fate to strike him through the chest with another lightning bolt of reality. He flashed a small, slightly watery smile, and reached for Darren’s hand, and squeezed it gently.  “I know you’re fighting, Dare,” he whispered.  “It means the world to me, to all of us.” 

He did blush and rub his belly at the audible stomach growl.  “Good grief, you’d think I hadn’t eaten in days, not hours,” he muttered as he rolled his eyes.  True, even in days where the idea of eating something just exhausted him, there were growing babies in there that demanded their nourishment.  What more, even though Chris felt absolutely huge, like literally now the size of what he was the days leading up to birthing the twins, he was still considered slightly ‘underweight’ at this state of a triplet pregnancy.  At this point, he and his toes had been close to strangers in past weeks, unless he sat back and lifted his leg up so to see his toes.  “I wouldn’t say I’d turn into the monster. Maybe these three would claw their way out if I don’t find food soon, and that’d be wayyyy too messy,” he commented with an amused grin.  

Of course dealing with fans made Chris weary these days, he was good at that front, especially thinking of poor Dare.  Very easily, he was able to joke about being a clumsy fool, and even made a joke that at the very least, he fell on his leg, and did well to protect the ‘valuable cargo,’ - i.e., the growing life in his womb.  It had been a tough couple of years for Chris, but especially more for Darren.  Chris had to admit he missed the happy, energetic Darren, and he hoped that Darren would bounce back sooner than later.  In the meantime, Chris was definitely there to support Darren in any way he needed along the way.  

Go figure, Chris standing, Chris sitting, it always took a bit these days to get him comfortable. Sitting a little to one side or the other often provoked aches and pains, and sitting another way put a lot of pressure on his bladder and increased his chances of having to pee again.  Finally, after what seemed like some 5 minutes or so of awkward shifting, Chris actually got settled, and looked back at Darren. “Oh my god, my stomach presses the table before I even scoot up, the hell,” he muttered, as he rolled his eyes in this amusement.  “It’s hard to imagine I have what, like some three months to go.”  Finally, all food had been ordered, and they definitely had time to talk.  Chris smiled slightly at Darren’s comment. “A breath of fresh air will do you some good, I’m sure of it.”  Part of him was worried that Darren might breathe in some invisible germ, but Chris knew that he couldn’t be so paranoid so to lock Darren somewhere to throw away the key.  “Maybe, if you want, we could try going upstate this weekend, to the Hamptons, and we could take in some of that nice fresh seaside air.”  

Darren nodded a little as Chris squeezed his hand. “I am.” he frowned a little. “Some days..” he admitted quietly. “I feel like it’s just too much.. but then there’s you, the kids, the baby and you know... it’s all worth fighting for.” he admitted, of course Chris knew this. Chris knew he had days where he was so exhausted, so out of energy for anything that it was clear he was struggling. Of course he knew. He’d had to have seen it but it was hard to admit it. They’d promised to be honest about how they felt though, and saying these things out loud was part of that promise. Part of keeping them close and together in this instead of pushing each other away like they had there for a while.

“Well we wouldn’t want anyone to claw out so we’d better hurry” he chuckled and soon they were settled and hanging out waiting for the food to get there. The smell of food in the place really wasn’t doing him any favors but he was going to try his best to make sure he ate some today. Honestly he didn’t like having to get nutrients without eating them himself, but lately he’d had to deal with that because he couldn’t keep the food down.

“Well I guess this time around that’s going to be a thing, but you know... at least..” he glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “We’ve got the three happy little ones in there and we can’t be too surprised that they take a little room.” he smiled as he thought about the babies. He loved their family so much and yes it was going to be crazy large, but he’d always liked the idea of a large family even though he’d never been sure if he’d be able to have one this big. “Fresh air was nice” He admitted, he liked being outside and he’d been going so crazy of seeing the same walls all the time lately. Even on the bad days he’d started feeling like the walls were sort of creeping closer. Being locked inside wasn’t something he was very good with.