layla ; 17 ; bipoc
she/they ; lesbian, girlflux
dxed with mdd, gad, adhd, apd ; seeking dx for bpd, avpd traits. i also suffer from psychotic symptoms ( hallucinations, disorganized thinking, some delusions )
tw ; s/h, sui
carrd soon

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@curevent
layla ; 17 ; bipoc
she/they ; lesbian, girlflux
dxed with mdd, gad, adhd, apd ; seeking dx for bpd, avpd traits. i also suffer from psychotic symptoms ( hallucinations, disorganized thinking, some delusions )
tw ; s/h, sui
carrd soon

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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idk if u guys know this trick but reality checking with my phone has been so helpful. if u see something and have trouble telling if its real just aim your phone camera at it. if it isnt there on ur camera it isn't real. so simple and really helps
I AM LESS OF MYSELF OUTLOUD.
franz kafka, edit unknown / rachelle toarmino / charlotte brontë / franz kafka / richard siken / nayyirah waheed

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hallucinating is so scary and no one makes any attempt to fucking understand and its all just so isolating
i wish sadness didn’t feel like agony. i wish i could feel a negative emotion without wanting to rip out my eyes.
i’ve been suicidal for so long that i’ve just been assuming i wouldn’t live even as long as i have so i never thought about anything long term and now i have no idea what i’m going to do and i’m more afraid to live than i ever was to die
having bpd and needing constant reassurance but not asking for reassurance because ur scared of being abandoned but constantly thinking ur being abandoned bc ur not being reassured overall. i feel annoying. i drive myself insane in my head but i won’t ever ask because i feel like i’ll push everyone away, so i don’t say anything, but i still push them away anyway
mood swings are fucking INSANE

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im gonna be really sad when i get diagnosed.
which is such a weird thing because by every metric i should be happy- i'll start getting the right treatment and be able to get better. but the stigma against bpd is so prevalent and i dont want ppl to look at me differently when i tell them i have it. and im so dysregulated that happiness is painful too, because happiness never lasts long and i dont deserve to be happy.
so i want it to happen but im gonna be so upset when it does.
I BROKE MY FUCKING RUBBER BAND
seeing yandere posts in bpd tags is rlly starting to piss me off
i was put on this earth to cry about every inconvenience in my life, rewind the same song for days on end, fantasize about fictional scenarios that will never happen, be sensitive about every person’s opinion of me, ignore responsibilities, and to self sabotage
feeling alright and then seeing one thing that makes you feel bad and immediately feeling physically ill out of severe anxiety and guilt <<<<

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sharing with someone when you have avpd moodboard
me: paints my nails
me to me: wow my mental illness is cured