MOVED TO THEIRTALES

triggering  /  nsfw   may  be  present ,   these  are  taken  from  varying  films.

“  With this candle… I will set your mother on fire. ”

“  Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine.  ”

“  With this ring, I ask you to be mine. ”

“  Please, there’s been a mistake. I’m not dead.   ”

“  If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain.  ”

“  If you cut me with a knife, it’s still the same. ”

“  I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead. ”

“  Isn’t the view beautiful? It takes my breath away.  ”

“  I’ve spent so long in the darkness, I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is. ”

“  I feel my heart is aching, though it doesn’t beat it’s breaking. ”

“  Yet the pain here that I feel…try and tell me it’s not real. ”

“  I know that I am dead. It seems that I still have some tears to shed. ”

“  I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me.  ”

“  This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared!  ”

“  What are you doing here at this hour? You should be at home, prostrate with grief!  ”

“  What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion, and a murder most foul! ”

“  Why go up there when people are dying to get down here? ”

“  This would stop his heart forever. Only then would he be free to give it to you. ”

“  If I hadn’t just been sitting in it, I would say that you’ve lost your mind! ”

“ You don’t know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.. ”

“ Be gone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came! ”

“ We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living.  ”

“ Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose. ”

“  Hey, these aren’t my rules! Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules!  ”

“  Uh, I think, uh, they’ve had enough “exorcise” for tonight. ”

“  Not so fast, round boy. We’re gonna have some laughs! ”

“  And that, is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore babe, I won’t.  ”

“ My whole life is a darkroom.  ”

“ Don’t mind her. She’s still upset that someone dropped a house on her sister. ”

“ I will go insane and I will take you with me! ”

“ I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself.  ”

“ Uh, what I meant is, can you be scary? ”

“ Oh! I didn’t know you were asking me. Can I be scary?  ”

“  I don’t think we survived that crash.  ”

“  Please, they’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic. ”

“ Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?  ”

“  Well, I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased.  ”

“ It says: ‘live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual.  ”

“ I, myself, am strange and unusual.  ”

“  I mean they’re gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased-ahh. ”

“ I was just wondering could you help me get out of here?  ”

“ Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? ”

“ You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.  ”

“  You must believe me. it was a horseman, a dead one. Head less.  ”

“  I think you have no heart. And I had a mind once to give you mine. ”

“ Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue. ”

“ I have shed my tears for [ name ], and yet my heart is not broken.  ”

“  Their heads were not found severed. Their heads were not found at all. ”

“ He’s on the rampage, cutting off heads where he finds them. ”

“  That’s the problem; He was dead to begin with.  ”

“  What happened to you? Where are your parents?  ”

“  It’s not heaven he’s from! It’s straight from the stinking flames of hell!  ”

“ The power of Satan is in him; I can feel it. Can’t you? ”

“ He has been sent first to tempt you. But it’s not too late. ”

“ Sweetheart, you can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies. ”

“  You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. ”

“  If he weren’t up there now, I don’t think it would be snowing. ”

“ I don’t love you anymore. I just want you to go, okay? Just go. ”

“  Are you serious? I’m gonna lose you to that? He isn’t even human.. ”

“  Trust me, dearie, it’s gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out.  ”

“ We could have a life, us two. ”

“  Maybe not like I dreamed. Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by.  ”

“ In these once familiar streets I feel… shadows… everywhere.  ”

“ You have a room over the shop, don’t you?  ”

“  Haven’t been there in years. People think it’s haunted. ”

“ You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice. ”

“ I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen to me.  ”

“  If I see your face again on this street, you’ll rue the day you were born. ”

“  You’ll kill me, boy? Well here I stand! ”

“  You’re barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm! ”

“ Don’t worry no one’ll recognize you. You’re safe now.  ”

“ I’ve never had dreams. Only nightmares.  ”

“ I won’t slay anything. I don’t slay, so put it out of your mind.  ”

“ Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk? ”

“ Some says you survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.   ”

“  There is a place, like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery and danger. ”

“  Why is it you’re always too small or too tall?  ”

“ You used to be much more… muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.  ”

“ It looks like you’ve run afoul of something with wicked claws… ”

“  What if it were agreed that “proper” meant wearing a codfish on your head?   ”

“ Do you know what I’ve always dreaded?  ”

“  I’d rather you didn’t. I’ll be fine as soon as I wake up.  ”

“  If you’re hiding her, you will lose your heads.  ”

“ I don’t care! He wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for me!  ”

“ I’ve been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot.  ”

“  So, I’ve come to you hoping you might understand what it’s like. ”

“ There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do. ”

Angst:

1: “ Give me a chance. ” 2: “ Not you again.. ” 3: “ Leave me alone. ” 4: “ I don’t love you anymore. ” 5: “ Why do you hate me? ” 6: “ I lost the baby. ” 7: “ I thought you loved me. ” 8: “ I don’t need you anymore. ” 9:“ I can’t believe you! ” 10: “ We cant keep this up forever. ” 11: “ You’re a monster. ” 12: “ I hate you. ” 13: “ Don’t leave me… ” 14: “ You’re a disappointment. ” 15: “ Don’t die on me– Please. ” 16: “ I never meant to hurt you. ” 17: “ Are you upset with me? ” 18: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 19: “ I’m going to kill you! ” 20: “ Please don’t hurt me like this. ” 21: “ Thanks for nothing. ” 22: “ Dont call this number again. “ 23: “ Why did you spare me? ” 24: “ You need to leave. ” 25: “ I’m sick. ” 26: “ I’m dying. ” 27: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 28: “ I thought we were family!” 29: “ There was never an us. ” 30: “ So that’s it? It’s over? ” 31: “ I fucked up. ” 32: “ I came to say goodbye. ” 33:“ He’s dead because of you. ” 34: “ I don’t deserve to be loved. ” 35: “ About the baby… Its yours. ”

Love:

36: “ I’m so in love with you. ” 37: “ Dance with me! ” 38: “ Isn’t this amazing? ” 39: “ I wish we could stay like this forever. ” 40: “ Will you marry me? ” 41: “ I’m pregnant. ” 42: “ I need a hug. ” 43: “ You’re special to me. ” 44: “ I’m going to keep you safe. ” 45: “ Do you trust me? ” 46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ” 47: “ You’re cute when you’re angry. ” 48: “ I’ve liked you for awhile now. ” 49: “ Lets have a baby. ” 50: “ We’d make such a cute couple. ” 51: “ I want to take care of you. ” 52: “ Can we cuddle? ” 53: “ It’s lonely here without you. ” 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ” 55: “ Shut up and kiss me already. ” 56: “ Are you flirting with me? ” 57: “ Is that my shirt? ” 58: “ How did we get here? ” 59: “ You own my heart. ” 60: “ You’d be a great dad. ” 61: “ You’d be a great mom. ” 62: “ I want to protect you. ” 63: “ Whats the matter? ” 64: “ You’re so beautiful. ” 65: “ Did you do something different with your hair? ” 66: “ Is that a new perfume? ” 67: “ Stop being so cute. ” 68: “ You’re making me blush! ” 69: “ You’re teasing me again… ” 70: “ This is why I fell in love with you. ” 71: “ You’re the best! ” 72: “ They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ” 73: “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ” 74: “ Of course I remembered! ” 75: “ You’re one hell of a girl. ” 76: “ You’re one hell of a guy. ” 77: “ Are you jealous? ” 78: “ Hold me and never let me go. ” 79: “ Stop hogging all the blankets! ” 80: “ Lets run away together. ”

General:

90: “ Catch me if you can! ” 91: “ I’m fine. ” 92: “ Are you drunk? ” 93: “ Are you high? ” 94: “ We cant go in there… ” 95: “ Give it back! ” 96: “ Well this is just great. ” 97: “ Don’t touch me. ” 98: “ Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ” 99: “ This was fun— Lets do it again sometime!” 100: “ I didn’t do it! ” 101: “ I did it… ” 102: “ I don’t remember that! ” 103: “ Well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ” 104: “ Get that thing away from me! ” 105: “ You owe me. ” 106: “ Do you believe in aliens? ” 107: “ Do you believe in ghosts? ” 108: “ Are you hitting on me? ” 109: “ Why are you naked? ” 110: “ You did what?! ” 111: “ You have… Superpowers? ” 112: “ Why are you bleeding? ” 113: “ Where did all these puppies come from?” 114: “ Don’t make me come over there myself! ” 115: “ That wasn’t funny. ” 116: “ This tastes horrible. ” 117: “ This is delicious! ” 118: “ Are you mad at me? ” 119: “ Stop ignoring me… ” 120: “ I love that show too! ” 121: “ Can I borrow that book of yours?” 122: “ Lets blow this joint. ” 123: “ Let me help you with that. ” 124: “ Take that back! ” 125: “ Wanna go see a movie with me? ” 126: “ No way, that’s so lame. ” 127: “ What are you listening to? ” 128: “ I brought you your coffee. ” 129: “ Don’t fuck this up. ” 130: “ Run! ” 131: “ Lets run away together. ” 132: “ I haven’t slept in four days… ” 133: “ Your turn to do the dishes. ” 134: “ Was I really that drunk? ” 135: “ Was I really that stoned? ” 136: “Give me back my phone! ” 137: “ You’re an asshole. ” 138: “ Are you cold? ” 139: “ This place gives me the creeps. ” 140: “ I swear my house is haunted. ” 141: “ Did you hear that? ” 142: “ It’s just your imagination. ” 143: “ Just how stupid do you think I am? ” 144: “ Stop being such a baby. ” 145: “ Go back to bed. ” 146: “ Are you okay? ” 147: “ I can take care of myself just fine.” 148: “ Thanks for helping me back there. ” 149: “ Since when have we ever been friends? ” 150: “ What on earth are you wearing? ” 151: “ I can’t feel my legs! ” 152: “ Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ” 153: “ Put me down! ” 154: “ There’s only one bed… ” 155: “ It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ” 156: “ How did I loose it? ” 157: “ I read your diary. ” 158: “ This is awkward. ” 159: “ Didn’t you read the sign? ” 160: “ Do you think you can teach me that? ”

Below is NSFW prompts. Please if you’re rebloggling tell your followers if you’re interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.

nsfw   and   triggering   themes   and   mentions   may   be   present,   such   as   blood,   gore,   murder,   death.

❛ It happened. Now it’s done. You live with it or it eats you up. ❜

❛ My people have guns. Yours don’t. ❜

❛ You keep choosing this life, you will die. ❜

❛ If you have to eat shit, best not to nibble. ❜

❛ They don’t attack this place. They don’t kill us. ❜

❛ Most of the people here don’t even know how to fight, even if we had ammo. ❜

❛ We need food. You have it. We’re willing to work for it. ❜

❛ Confrontation’s never been something we’ve had trouble with. ❜

❛ Y'all are worse than a bunch of evangelical second graders. ❜

❛ I’m still me, but better. I lost everything and it made me stronger. ❜

❛ I killed so that I could live. I stopped counting when I hit double digits. ❜

❛ You wanna make today your last day on Earth? ❜

❛ What if it’s the last day on Earth for you? Or someone you love? ❜

❛ I’m a sinner. I sin almost every day.  ❜

❛ It was a sanctuary. People came and took this place. ❜

❛ I’ve been bitten, you stupid pricks! I’m tainted meat! ❜

❛ We can walk away, and we will never cross paths again! ❜

❛ Nightmares end. They shouldn’t end who you are. ❜

❛ The second it isn’t, the second we lose sight of that, it’s all over.. ❜

❛ We’re all gonna die and you let this happen for nothing. ❜

❛ Welcome to the human race, asshole. ❜

❛ You’re not the person people think you are. ❜

❛ Why don’t you say what’s really on your mind? ❜

❛ Some days, I don’t know what the hell to think. ❜

❛ You had no idea what you were talking about, did you? Did you?! ❜

❛ You hear me? I’m not giving up! People like me– people like me, they can live. ❜

❛ I like it here. I like the people. But… they’re weak, and I don’t want us to get weak too. ❜

❛ Yeah, you used to be somebody’s, huh? Now you’re just yours. ❜

❛ You know, everyone’s been through it somehow. Everyone. ❜

❛ I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. ❜

❛ The evidence seems to go in that direction. ❜

❛ You well know that I’m not combat ready or even for that matter combat inclined. ❜

❛ God, you’re really that much of a coward? ❜

❛ It’s their world. We’re just living in it. ❜

❛ You don’t go outside those walls anymore. Not by yourself, not with anyone else. ❜

❛ It’s gonna get people killed. It’s already gotten people killed. ❜

❛ Play your cards right, maybe you don’t have to die. ❜

❛ Things don’t get better because you– you want them to. ❜

❛ Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. ❜

❛ When you care about people, hurt is kind of part of the package. ❜

❛ I’m gonna take a group out. Best not waste any more time. ❜

❛ When I fell on my ass, they should have just left me out there. ❜

❛ Everything we’ve been working so hard to keep out, it found its way in. ❜

❛ Everybody makes it, till they don’t. ❜

❛ I killed two people and you haven’t said a word about it. ❜

❛ You can’t think forever. Sooner or later, you’ve got to make a move.. ❜

❛ I mean, what the hell is going on in this cabin? Were they storing those biters? ❜

❛ I could use a vacation. Get away. Just for a weekend. ❜

❛ Is this what you want? Is this what any one of you want? ❜

❛ Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates you’re one of us. ❜

❛ Get in your cars, get your guns. We go in, kill them all! ❜

❛ I’m a piece of shit. Why would you want my help? ❜

❛ I’m sorry. I’m not very good at making boys your age laugh. ❜

❛ So you tell me how in the holy hell did you possibly kill this truck? ❜

Who doesn’t love soul-crushing angst? Send me a 💔 and I’ll generate a number, 1-75, and post a starter based on what scenario I get. 

Please note that some of these scenarios may be triggering.

painful

“ it’s — getting a bit out of hand now. ”

“ i don’t think i can keep this up much longer. ”

“ i’m getting tired of hiding…”

“ it sucks that i can’t kiss you in public. ”

“ how much longer do i have to keep swallowing my desires for you. ”

“ are you sure we will — ? ”

“ do you think we’ll ever… be a couple-couple ? ”

“ sometimes i’m just scared that you’re just using me. ”

“ it’s starting to dawn on me that… the reason you might not want to come out about this is because you don’t really love me—”

“ is this a joke to you?”

“ i deleted all our texts. ”

“ i can’t keep pictures of us on my phone, are you crazy? ”

“ if anyone sees us i won’t know what to do. ”

“ sometimes it feels like i am the only one doing an effort here… ”

provoked

“ aren’t we suppose to be a thing ? why are you flirting then ?”

“ sometimes it feels like i am the only one doing an effort here —”

“ you sure seem to be good at ignoring the fact that we’re together. ”

“ okay no — i can’t handle the way they keep staring at you. ”

“ if they don’t stop hitting you up i’ll end up hitting them down. ”

“ don’t you see any pride in the marks i left on you ? ”

“ is this a joke to you — ?!”

“ stop that — we’re in public. ”

“ no, not until we get home. ”

“ you know i can’t do this out here — stop it!”

“ could TRY to show that you’re a little worried about this ???”

steamy

“ d—-don’t make me moan, i don’t want anyone to catch us… ”

“ everyone is downstairs… ~ take your pants off ”

“ shhh…. ~ it’ll be fine baby, no one will hear us ”

“ so what ? ~ if they see us coming out together we’ll figure something out…”

“ i’m gonna leave so many hickeys on you… show everyone that you’re taken… ”

“ i missed your scent…”

“ it feels so good — being close to again… ”

“ i’ve been thinking — about this the entire day… ”

“ ~ sit back and let me spoil you… you went an entire day without touching me… ”

“ kiss me… and don’t let me go ”

“ you’re like a forbidden fruit when i can’t touch you ~ kind of sexy ”

innocent

“ i can’t wait to show you off to the entire world… ”

“ we’ll be the cutest couple in existence, someday ”

“ when we come out i’m going to drown you kisses every day ”

“ ~ if we carve our initials in a tree no one will know ”

“ no one will notice if we hold hands under the table ~ ”

“ one day… we’ll be able to kiss like everyone else ”

send a symbol for my muse to react to yours… (or add +reverse for my muse to touch yours)

VIOLENT 🔪 – stabbing them 👊 – punching them ✋ – slapping them in the face 👞 – kicking them 🎀 – pulling their hair

FLUFFY/FRIENDLY 🍭 – stroking their hair 🖐 – high fiving them 🤝 – holding their hand 👄– kissing them on their [place of choice] 👐 – hugging them 💅 – painting their [finger/toe] nails  🤧 – comforting them when crying 🤒 – caring for them when sick/injured 💃 – dancing with them 👗 – adjusting their clothes 👒 – brushing their hair

‘i’ll make you something, yeah? your favorite dish, just for you.’

‘let’s get you back to bed.’

‘shh, it was just a nightmare.’

‘you like this, don’t you? i remember you saying that.’

‘i drew up a bath for you.’

‘you need rest.’

‘you ought to be asleep.’

‘i bought two.’

‘here. you can have the rest.’

‘i thought of you when i saw this.’

‘i like your smile.’

‘you have a cute laugh.’

‘stay there. i’m coming there to get you.’

‘it’s okay, i’m here, we’re okay.’

‘be careful.’

‘look both ways.’

‘you mean so much to me.’

‘i can’t lose you.’

‘i thought i might have lost you.’

‘how to you feel about the nickname, (insert nickname)?’

‘it looks good on you.’

‘i’ll make you soup.’

‘ah-ah-ah. you’re sick. you need to stay in bed.’

‘are you okay in there?’

‘that’s it, that’s it. get it all out. shh.’

‘it’s a remedy i knew. helps with your throat.’

‘it’s a lullaby. would you like me to sing it to you? would that help you fall asleep?’

‘i’m worried about you.’

‘what do you want to watch?’

‘where would you like to go for dinner?’

‘close your eyes and hold out your hands.’

‘we’ll figure it out.’

‘oh, it’s not big deal. you’re fine.’

‘i brought you some medicine for your cold.’

‘you’re important to me.’

‘this is your favorite song, right?’

‘you’re like a son/daughter to me.’

‘good luck!’

‘you’re like a mom/dad to me.’

‘don’t say that about yourself.’

‘want to come with?’

“wow! you look really nice.’

‘goodnight, (insert term of affection).’

‘it’s okay. i couldn’t sleep anyway.’

‘you can have half.’

‘come here. let me fix it.’

‘your tie is crooked.’

‘c’mere. shh, it’s okay.’

‘i’m not going to hurt you.’

‘can i touch you?’

‘can i kiss you?’

‘can i hug you?’

‘promise.’

‘would i ever lie to you?’

‘i think you’re very beautiful/handsome.’

‘hey, good-looking.’

‘of course i care. you’re my family.’

‘one more chapter.’

‘  life— the thing that happens to us.  ’

‘  you owe no one your forgiveness.  ’

‘  how’s that for a happily ever after?  ’

‘  silence has always been my loudest scream.  ’

‘  when I die, do not waste a minute mouring me.  ’

‘  “no” is short for “fuck off.”  ’

‘  you shine brighter than all the starlight there has ever been or ever will be.  ’

‘  i bet you regret making an enemy out of me.  ’

‘  we cannot control what we remember  ’

‘  i don’t even believe in people.  ’

‘  it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are  ’

‘  i am a world of uncertainties disguised as a girl.  ’

‘  whatever it is that stirs your soul, listen to that. everything else is just noise.  ’

‘  i like the disaster of the night sky, stars spilling this way and that as if  they were upturned from a glass.  ’

‘  resist much, obey little.  ’

‘  be patient and tough; one day this pain will be useful to you.  ’

‘  i am a dreamer with empty hands and I like the chill.  ’

‘  i deserved someone who was willing to stay  ’

‘  you’re everywhere except right here and it hurts  ’

‘  time doesn’t obey our commands  ’

‘  girls like her were born in a storm.  ’

‘  only the brave and the broken are kind in this world.  ’

‘  people aren’t born sad; we make them that way.  ’

‘  some people are born with tornados in their lives  ’

‘  there is nothing scarier in their minds than a girl who knows the power of her flames.  ’

‘  tell them to be proud of every bit of themselves—  ’

‘  some are made of witchcraft and wolf and a little bit of vice.  ’

‘  these scars have never diminished your worth, they are the stories that make you whole.  ’

‘  and you say you are broken, but broken mirrors like you create the most beautiful patterns of light.  ’

‘  but what could you possibly see in her?  ’

‘  everything, I see everything in her, because the stardust that makes her is the same stardust that makes me.  ’

‘  did you really think she was a tender flower you could trample upon, and damage her very soul?  ’

‘  you clutter my mind  ’

‘  i close my eyes and see infinite galaxies  ’

‘  i long for a life i have control of  ’

‘  and all i have now are memories that feel like dreams  ’

‘  don’t be afraid of getting hurt  ’

“you forgot to take the trash out again.”

“do you think we should just order in tonight?”

“what’s the point of making the bed if we’re just gonna mess it up?”

“will you pick up your clothes? it’s like a pig-sty in here.”

“you cooked, it’s only fair that i clean.”

“i haven’t shaved in like a week.”

“let me run you a bath.”

“you used all the hot water.”

“oh come on, i just cleaned the kitchen!”

“can you stop using my bath bombs? they’re expensive.”

“dinner was ready a half hour ago.”

“you cooked me dinner?”

“i had to carry you to bed last night, you were exhausted.”

“do you even know how to load a dishwasher?”

“your red sock turned all my whites pink.”

“what’s with the hat? are you having a bad hair day?”

“we’ve spent too much on pay per view this month.”

“are you watching porn?”

“next time it’s your turn to do the dishes.”

“my parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow.”

as requested by anon. part one here ( x ). Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“Make sure to eat before you go.”

“What were you thinking?!”

“How are you getting home?” / “What time will you be back?”

“Don’t eat/drink that!”

“I don’t trust him/her/them.”

“You’re so clumsy…come here.”

“Don’t you dare go out there young man/lady/one!”

“You can’t just go wandering off like that.”

“I’m not going to let you die/get hurt/get your heart broken.”

“Is this person/lady/guy bugging you?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of there.”

“Put on your seatbelt.”

“You don’t understand it now, but I’m trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to save me.” / “It’s my job to save you.”

“Let me go in first.”

“Did you not see that car/motorcycle/space ship/etc. coming right at you?”

“Stop complaining. I’m trying to save your life.”

“I’ll diffuse the bomb. You get out of here.”

“Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

“I know I never say it, but…thanks.” / “I will never say thanks.”

“Will you stay a little longer?”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew what you’d say.”

“Stop talking or we’ll be found.”

“I’ll always be here for you.”

“Don’t you see that it’s a trap?”

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

Bold the ones that apply to your character:

i like to punish people too.

are you trying to bribe me?

it’s only money

.you break the law sometimes, don’t you?

it feels good to get away with something, doesn’t it?

go on, take it. buy yourself something pretty.

you little devil.

shouldn’t you be spending your valuable time doing something more significant?

don’t know. don’t care. not my problem.

he will not be merciful for much longer.

you’re famous, aren’t you?

did i sell my soul to the devil?

with all the good came a hell of a lot of bad.

so the devil made you do it, did he?

i suggested you work with him, not sleep with him.

oh god, i’m a mess.

what happens now – that’s up to you.

what did you do?!

why did you end her life?!

there’s gonna be a lot of attention on this one.

do you know the shooter?

like to play cop, do you?

i just like to play in general.

now, don’t you think that’s interesting?

immortality. of course. you spell that with one or two M’s? i always forget.

what will your corrupt little organisation do about this?

will you find the person responsible? will they be punished?

you’ve got some balls on you, pal.

i could swear i’ve seen you naked. have we had sex?

someone out there needs to be punished!

what is this, a wedding or a kidnapping?

it’s hard to be rejected, isn’t it?

i’d kill someone if they denied me. not that that’s possible.

did you want her dead?

i am not playing that mind game with you.

i really don’t want to have sex with him tonight.

i have narcotics for him.

can someone please turn down this god-awful music!

without the blues, there’d be no devil’s music whatsoever.

you’re being clear alright. if you’re looking to get yourself killed.

i didn’t kill her!

people sometimes kill people with whom they’re in love. the heart’s mysterious.

girl made me crazy!

welcome to the party!

i have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking.

what do you desire more than anything else in this life?

you’re not like – a jedi or something, are you?

i know something you don’t know.

well, they’re threatened. you’re clearly smart and have notable instincts.

i don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here.

that’s a hooker’s name.

i don’t know whether to laugh or to shoot you.

are you at all aware of how dickish you sound?

i wouldn’t recommend it. i’m like walking heroin.

i tend to appeal to the dark, mischievous hearts in all of you.

you seem oddly immune to my charms.

truth be told, i find you repulsive.

did you roofie her?

my word is my bond.

what’s your deepest, darkest desire?

you wouldn’t want any nasty secrets screwing that up for you though, would you?

god, you are a terrible liar.

despite your proclaimed revulsion, you can’t deny that there’s a connection between us.

i made her, and she ruined me.

i’m gonna punish you.

back off, you freak!

he needs to pay! he needs to suffer! he needs to feel the pain, not escape it!

i don’t want to die.

why aren’t you more dead?

you’re having a very hard time with the immortal thing, aren’t you?

i’m pretty sure i’d be dead if you hadn’t helped me, so thank you.

you know, you’re far too interesting to let die.

i think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

i’d stay for the family reunion, but it’s giving me terrible IBS.

you scared i’m turning my back on the dark side?

you wouldn’t want to start a war.

i look forward to eating your heart one day.

have you seen the face of the devil?

i’m willing to work within your metaphor.

i’d kick a puppy if one waltzed by. i’m joking. puppies don’t waltz.

i’m gonna figure out your secret.

i guess we both have our mysteries.

i’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

if i don’t affect you, i’m curious as to what does.

if you desire something, just take it.

you’re not gonna get away with this. i’m gonna make sure of it.

what are you hiding?

are you really gonna try and prove his innocence?

sorry, do you want a hit?

it’s ‘puff, puff, pass’, not ‘puff, puff, stomp angrily.’

you brought pot to a crime scene?

i’m sure there’s some stragglers we could get into trouble with, huh?

it’s called a devil’s threesome for a reason.

if you’ve come to lecture me, can you just save it for later? i’m annoyingly sober right now.

you must have done something salacious in your youth.

i’m not gonna tell you anything.

i don’t want to know about the case, so you can keep your dirty little secrets.

i’ve seen the hatred in her eyes when she looks at you.

i just did everything i could to keep others from making the same mistakes i did.

who are you protecting?

i was hoping for sexy, salacious details, and i instead i got taken on a trip down depression lane.

don’t you dare disrespect me.

you will not speak to me this way!

am i interrupting some creepy foreplay you two have?

we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don’t we?

they don’t give out pulitzers for nip-slips.

if it’s any consolation, you look really good in it.

you don’t decide who gets punished and how.

let’s go deliver some punishment.

you’re a necessary evil.

i’ll kill you, you crazy bitch!

you both get a gun. let’s see who shoots first.

what’s to stop us from shooting you?

you’re interrupting my punishment.

you’re lucky i figured out your insane, ironic punishment before anyone got killed.

you tried to do some good. to help someone. don’t throw it all away.

i thought i’d use you to remedy a situation that i’ve mishandled and annoy you in the process.

you know exactly what i’m asking you.

didn’t mean to hurt you.

i hope the guy who hurt you got in lots of trouble.

i’m so very used to being in control of everything.

i doubt he’ll be able to string two words together right now, much less have a conversation.

what happened to you?

i can’t get away from him!

what’s the worst that can happen?

you could learn a thing or two from this guy.

you are in desperate need of my help.

i mean – you are like a four-leaf clover and a unicorn made a baby.

i’ve met your type before. so desperate to control their lives that they forget to enjoy it.

this is the fantasy life of a postmenopausal housewife.

i want to get laid so damn bad.

i very much beg your pardon?

i’m freaking out, okay?

i need that favour.

thanks for being super-cryptic in a really unhelpful way.

we’ve got a murder on our hands.

you forget that my expertise is finding the right people to punish.

so there’s a bona fide killer on the loose that needs to be punished.

haven’t i proven myself extremely useful at detectiving?

i don’t want to be stuck out here with these miscreants.

you call watching porn on your phone useful?

i wish i’d never met you.

the person responsible is still out there.

i just want to make sure that you’re punishing the right person.

this place is built on lies where nothing is authentic or genuine.

i’m gonna tear him limb from limb.

your anger toward this minor inconvenience feels a little disproportionate.

we need to ask you a few questions.

i don’t think the plan was to kill you.

i think they wanted to scare you.

you’re like two pathetic peas in a pod.

someone must’ve hired her for this.

if your problem’s that stick up your ass, i’m afraid there’s no one strong enough to pull that out.

am i up for encouraging someone to commit a nefarious act? put me in, coach.

your professional reputation has taken a bit of a dive. as has your sexual one, i’m afraid.

just sit tight and we’ll all get what we want.

you know who you’re messing with?

you’ve certainly been a busy bee, haven’t you?

it seems you’re a bit of a two-pump chump.

please don’t hurt me – please.

i’m not gonna hurt you. i’m going to destroy you.

see, that’s why i don’t lie. it’s so hard to keep track of who knows what.

i still don’t understand.

if he left me, i would be ruined.

she didn’t want to go through with it.

i’m finally focusing my anger where it belongs.

but you know what? you, uh – you stayed good to your word.

you are crazy. but you’re my crazy, you hear me?

are you too egotistical to acknowledge my help?

i think that’s why you’re here. to reinvent yourself.