Simply Feminist

Religion is a very sensitive matter to discuss, i personally don't like talking about it.

Today was the day that i learned the word Agnostic. It feels good knowing that there is actually an official term for my beliefs. 

My mother wasn't deep into religion, although her side of the family were very religious Catholics. My father's side, at least my dad and his sister, converted to Islam while working at Saudi Arabia. On my earlier years of education, i attended a catholic school, however i didn't really participated with most of the rituals associated with Catholicism. When my parents separated, i lived with my dad for about three years. During those years, he thought me the ways of Islam. And even after i left to stay with my mom, i knew he wishfully hoped that i would retain those practices - but i didn't. I chose not to. It didn't feel right having to practice something so sacred to some people, knowing that i was't as devoted as they were. Religion is supposed to be something you internalized deep within, not just something you show off to our society. 

Look guys! Another BS article that undermines Feminism:

http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/the-women-you-marry-vs-the-women-you-fck/

I may be a 'marrying-type' kind of woman, but i see something seriously wrong with this article. 

"With the pool of suitable women at an all-time low, it is getting even harder and harder to find the right partner.

The biggest problem men have is that they do not know how to distinguish between the girls you just bang and the type of woman you marry." -Eddie Cuffin

Oh please, tell me about it! 

Here's the story: http://couplesandco.blogspot.com/2013/11/man-successfully-sues-wife-for-ugly.html

I was reading this article and thought the idea was funny - marrying a woman who had several cosmetic surgeries done, and ended up having kids looking just like her 'natural-ugly' self.

However that is not the issue. 

The issue is, regardless of the story - the author was just being an idiot and a misogynist. He is undermining feminism, and contributes to the idea that beauty is the only thing that makes a woman - and to point out that being 'ugly' - however you define beauty - doesn't give a woman the right to reproduce? - "Genetic refuse" - Seriously? 

See Why We Have An Absolutely Ridiculous Standard Of Beauty In Just 37 Seconds

I've been feeling 'fat' lately. Not a good feeling, in fact it's terribly uncomfortable. Fat, not talking about my body size, but more like that nasty 'ughhhh' feeling. So, i went to the gym like i should have been doing these past couple of weeks. Sweating, although dreadful at times, actually makes me feel better - it makes me feel healthier. An hour later of my usual work out, and upon leaving the women's locker room, I've come to the realization and rather some personal yet universal questions -

If the media teaches us what is beautiful, then how do women on isolated tribes, where there is no access to any modern technology, feel about each other or their own bodies? But, more importantly, how does one define beauty? 

In the Philippines, because Filipinos are of mixed heritage (Spanish, and others), the idea of beauty portrayed by the media is based on the more 'typical' Asian features. Beauty for females meant fair skin, straight silky hair, chinky eyes, and a petite-slim body structure. 

In America, beauty portrayed by the media meant white-washing women of color, a tan for females with lighter complexions, preferably blond, tall, and skinny - about sizes 0-2. 

Do you see the pattern here? We want what we don't have, and we are attracted by other's beauty that we sometimes prefer them over our own.

So how about the women on isolated tribes, how do they based their definition of beauty? In tribes where women do not wear garments above the waist, do they look at each other's body and comment how one woman's breast is more attractive than the other? When they do not have any media or outsiders to base what is considered attractive or not? So, is it based merely on a woman's instinct? In tribes where mating's only purpose is to reproduce more members of the tribe, does one still consider beauty in choosing a bride? In tribes where beauty is based on tattoos, markings, piercings, and other practices, how does one define natural beauty? 

As far as how i view this notion of defining beauty, all these questions seemed to share a similar answer - Culture. 

I've been an avid online gamer for years now, but one thing that ticks me off about it, is how it has been a "He" dominated culture. He, not in the sense that majority of the players are males, but he, in the sense that everyone assumes that I am a "he", that she is a "he", that everyone is a male role playing as a female. 

Just the other day, there was a conversation about it on our game's 'global chat'. I don't exactly remember how it started, but i clearly remember how this one person said, "All online gamers are males, because women are better off in the kitchen." It could be a joke, or it could be something he really meant - either way, does it matter? 

Until reading this article, by Simone Weil Davis, the idea of female circumcision wouldn't have crossed my mind. The US Congress actually passed a measure criminalizing female circumcision on minors and eventually on adults as well. However, the law was too vague and only pointed out circumcisions based on ritual or customs and beliefs, which makes “corrective” surgeries legal. (p. 273)

Davis talked about Vagina way too much, that I had to look up different labia on the internet, and even found some stuff that I wished I didn't have to see. Like the women by the second wave of feminism, sometimes I find myself examining what's "down there", but never have I really put that much thought of how it looks. As mentioned in the article, many feminist around the second wave felt that it is very important for women to know their bodies first and up-close, in order to know themselves completely - and I totally agree with that. I mean, have you ever stood in front of the mirror through different angles, or look through a compact mirror to view every single facial detail? We would find some of our features flattering, and some.. well, not so much. Knowing and understanding how we feel about our features actually help us by knowing more about ourselves, not just physically but mentally - what we like, why we like it that way, why we don't like it that way, or what makes us not like it or like it that way, so on and so forth. Women are very complicated.

"They look at Playboy, the ideal women per se, for the body and the shape and so on. You don’t see women in there with excessively long labia minora.” (p. 270) Women uncomfortable with their own labia, or just simply looking for something new, tends to look at pornographic magazines or videos to compare their own genitalia with other women, even undermining the fact that most of these images are more likely digitally fixed. But, it still looks beautiful, doesn't it? 

The article itself revolved around Labiaplasty. In case you didn't know what that means, it's a cosmetic surgery that cuts or tucks in labia minora to correct sagging - plus it makes the surface of your vagina looks "full" too. This, however, is merely cosmetic and does not affect sexual sensation. The author emphasizes pornography as the main reason for women wanting to undergo labiaplasty; describing Designer Vaginas as "clean slit" (p. 272), this just means, women's labia minora should be tucked underneath their labia majora. I personally think this is bullshit. There could be thousands of reasons why women want to undergo this modification, it could be from natural sagging of the labia - which some view as "abnormal", partners commenting on that specific feature - which makes women uncomfortable with their own genitalia, or simply not being satisfied with their own features, but personally I think the greatest reason is a woman's personal insecurities. 

As I was doing my in-depth research about labia on the internet, I came across this specific forum where women complained about how their labia were so saggy, that it would show through their clothes (panties, skimpy shorts, etc.). Some, even saggy enough, that they'd have to "tuck it in". What struck me about this forum was not the endless complaints by these women, but the replies they got. Many who wrote back, not just men, but women as well, actually found saggy labia as "sexy". 

I think over the years, women became braver to decide for themselves. They experiment, and they become more liberated to enhance or change whatever feature they weren't satisfied with. Which is absolutely natural. Most women are self-conscious. We base and compare ourselves to what our society deems beautiful, to what the media portrays as sexy. And we want to feel good about ourselves, not merely to impress the opposite sex or compete with our girlfriends, but mainly to feel more comfortable on our own skin – naturally or artificially. 

I will be writing a paper about "how cultures affect gender roles on marriages", for my UNIV 200 class. We are still undergoing the whole research process, but i can't wait to start the actual paper! This class has been inspiring me lately.