First time I've ever talked about this one. I'm a trans guy, I got top surgery four years ago and I started T two years ago. I love being trans, I love being a man. I've been with plenty of women and trans guys before, and I've been with three cis men before. I topped all three of them. Don't get me wrong, it was great to see them turn into such whiny messes under me, but..
Idk. I'm a biology major and every time we talk about mating and sex cells and impregnation, I get ravenously horny to the point where I can't pay attention for the rest of class. We watched a video explaining the process of sperm fertilizing eggs and I soaked through my boxers. And now I can't stop imagining being the whiny mess.
I've always gotten this way about anatomical terms, but now that I've found the niche on Tumblr.. I can live however I want, do whatever I want to my body, I can even put on a strap and fuck submissive cis men, and I can enjoy it. But nothing gets me going like having my anatomy pointed out to me. Clitoris, labia, vagina, cervix, uterus. Female. The words drive me goddamn crazy. And, fuck, I don't think anything would really and truly satisfy me like having my pussy fucked and bred by a fat, throbbing cock.
It doesn't help that I have an insanely sensitive cervix. Like.. it really was meant to be pounded, huh? I want a huge manly breeder to wrap himself around me and force me into a mating press and tell me how males feel the urge to dominate females, how females will instinctually submit to them, while he penetrates my vagina with his penis. I wanna feel his hard cock split me open, just like nature intended, and abuse my sensitive cervix. And I wanna feel his penis flex and throb while he ejaculates, pressed against my cervix, releasing millions of sperm into my ovulating vagina. Bonus points if he whispers into my ear about how his seeds are probably seeking out and claiming my defenseless egg while he plugs me with his dick.
There's just some things you can't forget, aren't there?
You can get your mammaries removed, but you're still a mammal: built for internal fertilization, made to give birth to live young. You can inject male sex hormones, but you'll always be the female of the species - born full of eggs, releasing them one by one, with a natural rhythm of ovulation and menstruation that's meant to give way to a natural rhythm of conception and birth.
And sure: taking testosterone can interfere with that rhythm. It can quiet it, until you can almost imagine it's gone. But many, many females before you have learned that imagining it doesn't make it so.
No matter how many submissive men you find - men willing to play your little game with you - you'll always be reminded of two things. First, that no matter how pathetic they may be, you'll always have to be careful how you fuck them - or you'll find yourself full of hundreds of millions of sperm cells pushing past your cervix, and you'll be the one whimpering nine months later, as it starts to dilate. And second, that you're smaller and weaker than nearly every male. That you can only ever play this game with men putting on a false show of weakness, and you could be helplessly stuffed full by any man who chose to show you his strength.
When a man decides to take you while you're ovulating - to show you what decades of testosterone have done for him, and remind you of what nature intended for you - you know how it'll go, don't you? You've been so focused on it.
He'll push his penis into you, and even if you aren't willing, your body will respond. Your vulva will swell and grow pink. Your vagina will lubricate and lengthen.
He'll reach climax and ejaculate inside you - five or more pulses of semen, containing up to half a billion sperm. Your cervix will be ready for it: "soft, high, open, and wet".
The sperm will swim deep inside you within minutes, through your fallopian tubes, seeking your egg. When they find it - whether it's already there, or it arrives days later - they will penetrate it, pushing their way in until one breaks through the zona pellucida.
I could go on - but you know the rest, I think. The implantation, the division, the growth. The missed period, the morning sickness. The growing belly and widening hips. Your body adapting to its new role, reshaping itself to be a good host to his growing offspring.
It begins when a man penetrates you, whispering to you what his orgasm will do to you - but the rest is all within you. From the moment that the head of his penis pushes apart your labia, your body is hard at work, doing everything it can to ensure that the egg inside you becomes a newborn between your legs.
His sperm, your egg, your purpose. Just what a female was always meant to do.
