ends of the earth

“If anyone were clairvoyant, it’d be her. She’d probably tthat as a compliment, too.” Payton laughed quietly. Her sister was an enigma most days, and from what she could tell, the only person who could figure her out was Seth. “Cullen, I —” She faltered. What was she going to tell him? She looked exhausted, haunted even, from her health plummeting recently, and there was no way to hide that from him after this visit. After taking a sip, she set her cup on a nearby table and then reached for his free hand. She felt horrible for keeping him in the dark for so long, especially about something so important. She closed her eyes and sighed as she composed herself. Forcing a smile, she looked up at him. She knew he’d probably see right through it, but she wasn’t ready just yet. “I’ve just been feeling under the weather is all. I couldn’t bring myself to shut you out of my life.”

Payton had spent the past several days either at the doctor’s office or in her apartment. She hadn’t had the energy to hold classes, resorting to emailing students their assignments. Only Dawson knew what was going on, and she’d grown up witnessing the ups and downs of her health. Payton hadn’t told Cullen what was going on for fear that he wouldn’t want to deal with another sick partner, nor did she want to worry him. When he showed up at her door, though, she knew she’d have to tell him. She closed the door behind him and walked around him to the kitchen, her slippers scratching across the floor as she did. “Dawson is, well,” she said as she poured two cups of hot tea, “Dawson. She’s very perceptive.” She made her way out to join him, handing him one of the cups. It was somewhat of a diversion, but she also needed a cup to tend to her throat more. “I’ve never been able to lie to her.”

“We could do that, have a little getaway this summer in the Alps." Payton caressed his cheek, smiling. The idea of traveling with him made her giddy. "Or we could wait for a snow day this winter because that is inevitable,” she suggested. “Then we can spend some of the summer somewhere more, well, tropical, exotic.”

“I suppose I could expect no less,” she said with a shrug. She’d not shot his ego down any notches, nor could she really. She smiled. “Let’s save that fireplace one for a snow day. For now, I’m content with offices, the library, airplanes, hotels…" 

“Could always rent a cabin for that too. Get snowed in. Spend the days doing the best getting snowed in activity,” he said with a smile. He liked how she thought. Her optimism and forwardness brought him out of his own darkness. 

“Only by a few years,” she said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. When she had been a student, she thought their age different was far larger than it was. So much had changed since then. “Dare I say I don’t have much to complain about.”

“I pride myself in my low number of sexual complaints from women,” he said with a nod. He really did. Not many men could say that they possessed such a stellar track record. 

She laughed,straightening the collar of his shirt. “You make it sound like you’re ancient,” she teased. She had a feeling this could drift into a not so pleasant conversation, given how they bonded in the first place, and she wanted to keep the mood light. They could have a heart-to-heart later if they needed. 

“I am a bit older than you,” he said with a grin. “I don’t see you complaining about my expertise and worldliness.” He’d had a bit of anxiety about her and his performance. He’d had similar worries with his wife when they had started getting serious. 

She hummed as she faux-pondered  his words. They were more like a challenge and one she’d happily accept. “Then they’ll see how it’s properly done,” she said with a shrug. “The risk is part of what makes it so exciting, so I hope you’re up for it.”

“Oh, I used to be plenty risky,” he said. Before he’d met his wife he’d had a great time sowing his wild oats, and after her death he had completely lost himself and had stumbled through in a whirlwind of possibly dangerous behavior.

“No, no,” she said with a laugh, “I really don’t think you are.” He was just a tough nut to crack is all. She’d figure him out eventually. She lazily rested her hands on his shoulders as she tried her best to maintain eye contact again. “What d'you say we cross your office off my list right now, though?”

 “I am okay with that, you just better pray no student or errant older teacher discovers us in the throes of desk related sexual passion,” he said with a sly grin. He was honestly impressed with how much initiative she took. “But I’m down with whatever you want, babe.”

“In all fairness,” she said quietly, “you were upholding your end of the deal while I was trying to sabotage you.” She placed her hands on his chest, idly playing with the fabric of his shirt. “Who am I to turn down such an offer, though?”

“I am wholly impervious to sabotage,” he said with a grin. He had had his practice after all. Now was the kind of moment that he was take aback by just how small she was. His wife had been tall and hardy, quite the opposite of Payton, who was practically dainty. 

She was briefly relieved that she had limited written assignments to go over, but sometimes she was skeptical about projects. He was such a big teddy bear, though, and she adored that about him. She withdrew her hand from his pants, somewhat skeptical but mostly hopeful. “Now that we can agree on." 

“I’ve been pretty terrible,” he admitted. He did feel somewhat bad about teasing her, but there was such a thrill to it. Besides banter was some of the best foreplay. “Let me make it up to you.”

“We could make some headway then, huh?” She waggled her eyebrows at him. “It’ll be nice to relieve some of that tension in this busy time of the school year.” She wasn’t looking forward to the less than stellar projects coming up, and he surely was in the same boat with papers.

“I could use a distraction from grading research papers. Pretty sure I’ve already caught one kid plagiarizing and I haven’t had the heart to put it through a search engine to see if I’m right,” he said with a heavy sigh. Sex was always better than anything related to some kid plagiarizing. “I’d say I’ve probably tortured you enough already.”

“If I were to do any presentations, it’d be with figures and backdrops.. Vulgar language is a given.” She huffed. Why was he making this difficult? She firmly took him in her hand, trying her best to keep eye contact with him. “What I’d really like to cross off the list is my office—yours, too, if you’re willing.”

“I would say that I am up for that,” he said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. He loved that she was getting more and more frustrated. In fact it was stuff like that that really got him going. He liked the anticipation and her lack of patience. 

“I haven’t had many conversations with her lately,” she said with a shrug. That’d change, of course, but maybe she’d lay off talking about her casual sexual exploits with her sister for a while. She couldn’t help but laugh to herself. Sometimes he was adorable. “No, I definitely meant show. I like a more hands on approach.”

“I see, I see.” He nodded. “I was thinking you’d start pulling out the charts and such and going into vast detail with lots of descriptive albeit vulgar language.” He’d thought perhaps talk of her sister might deter her a little, but alas it did not. 

“Well, I won’t tell her then, and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” She pressed her hand harder against him, trying her best not to show her frustration with him. “If you’re curious about some of those uncrossed items, I’d be more than happy to show you them.”

“I’m sure there’s a lot that you haven’t told her regarding those sort of things,” he said with a grin. He had an even more difficult time picturing them having girl talk, however he assumed that it had taken place consistently in the past. “Show them to me? Don’t you mean tell?”

She considered delving beneath the boxer briefs, but no, that was too drastic. Making him jealous was a long shot, too, she realized, but it was fun, and she enjoyed a challenge. “Other things, hmm?” She lazily rubbed her palm against him. “A lot of items have been crossed off around campus.” They hadn’t been together long, so he could take from that what he wished..

He’d had a lot of practice at this. He used to tease his wife to the point that she would be borderline angry. It’d been hilarious. “I don’t think you should tell your sister that. She seems like she might be the kind that would have strong feelings about anything sexual going on in the hallowed halls of academia.” He had trouble even imagining her sister cutting loose enough to elope with someone. 

She smiled, amused that that was what he was focusing on. She pressed her palm against him, still teasing. “So that caught your attention?” She raised an eyebrow. If touching wasn’t going to get the job done, well, maybe getting him a little jealous or the least bit curious could. “It’s not a physical list about getting physical—though it easily could be—but it’s quite the extensive one. A bit is crossed off already.”

He looked down at her through his eyelashes. “Among other things,” he said with a shrug. Pretending to be nonchalant was getting a lot more difficult, but he wasn’t going to give it up just yet. He smirked a the mention of the crossed off items on her bucket list. She should know that he was hardly the jealous type, but she was definitely cute for trying.