I burst into the Unicode consortium office my eyes bloodshot my arms bursting with folders I slam my resume on the desk saying I come up with many important emojis you will love please gives me a chance. What about an emoji that means βdoctors who listenβ or one for βcivil disobedienceβ what about the βglyph of βtinglingβ please only just give me the chance I can make you βdollar sign eyes and dollar for tongueβ. How about an emoji that means Zendaya okayyyy. my fingers dripping with blood from carving out the svg files with my bare knuckles I move closer and someone hits a button thatβs silently call security but I donβt care I keep going my pitch. The βcancelledβ emoji will make yuor engagement rise I am saying. This one is a work in progress but I am calling her Linda. Sis you ever stop and think how come there is no moji of βage gapβ or βanti trust lawβ Iβm an ideas guy i am screaming I am ideas guy. I smile at you and my face is the perfect curved sliver. The soldiers are on their weigh but itβs too late. I take out my π« put me in the database I growl attractively you βsnivelβ back (no emoji for that btw) please please whatever you say. The soldiers arrive and I grab you βhostage styleβ (no symbol of that) the guards are saying βwhoa there.. whoa there buddyβ before they can act I bang them with my squirt gun. βI AM YELLOWβ I shouting βI AM LIKE HOMER BUT ROUNDβ. I plug my dongle into computer beginning the upload. The Unicode troopers keep coming but I am slinging smileys from my pouch like a throwing star. The files are flowing to the cloud. Wham βvaseline emojiβ wham βgender neutral mouseβ wham βstandup but the comic is bombing so he start doing mean aggressive crowdworkβ yoir era is over now I am the consortium now I cackle I take out my poloroid and snap a quick photograph of your scared and pale face as your blood vacates it no doubt flowing downward because of sexual feeling. I shake the photo to make it develop faster but it doesnβt work (look it up) and there are no more army on the way. Just you and me and the computer. It dings to completion but I have one more file to add. I look at the picture in my hand. You lookβ¦ beatuifoul. I think I will call thjis one.. come uppanceβ¦ I said and slam it into the disk drive. You smile and we embrace. All is forgiven because I give you the highest honor there is I have make you An Emoji which should be the heist honor in my opinion. Do you remember when they offered jordan peel the role of the poop in the emoji movie and he was so insulted he decided to make Get Out do you remember well those days are gone. Being an emoji in my regime is it like a presidential Medal of Honor speaking of which we are giveing a speech at Unicode plaza the crowd is cheering and the president is there but this one is Nice. They saw my vision. No longer will the consortium limit human emotion to an exclusive set of several hundred image now emoji is for everyone. And one more thing the eggplant is no longer βlewdβ we can make a new emoji of βlewd eggplantβ for placate the freaks but some of us regulars just want to say vegetable without everyone thinks penis all the time. The crowd is cheering me they are saying red one hundred and fire symbol. they think that I am π they finally think that I am π

















