speeding cars ,

{ —spending his time in a library has been a routine which he isn’t sure as to when he’s commenced to adopt; it has been that long since the beginning that he’s forgotten it, and it has begun to feel natural for him to simply lounge in a library, doing his work or readings ahead of his classmates to keep his normal facade of being the model student. it’s become a sort of habit, ingrained in his veins the way it is for the rest of his schedules imposed on him since he was a child, coexisting in a solid yet odd juxtaposition with his rebellious side of personality. now he does this without a lot of protestations brewing at the back of his mind, and so when that afternoon he finds himself in the local library to work on the rest of the assignment due in three weeks time, it feels typical. it’s not a fun pastime yet it’s no longer a nuisance entirely, and he starts working on his assignment as soon as he arrives until the lassitude starts clinging onto his muscles, causing him to think that he probably should call it a day. he’s done with around 80% of it anyway, so allowing himself to relax won’t hurt. he closes the lid of his laptop and presses his back against the chair, stretching a little. it’s raining outside, pitter patter pelting the window in a resolute rhythm, and he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in hopes that it can help him alleviate the stinging headache. }

(/ a sigh escapes his lips, eyes wandering, mind traveling to distant places that his thoughts shouldn’t be taking him to — he gets lost to the sound of rain pattering on the roof, hands moving to their monotonous routine of shelving books in ones and twos and threes.  baekhyun likes this routine.  it’s familiar, he doesn’t have to think about it and doesn’t have to worry about something distracting or uncomfortable — but libraries, well.  they’re always the places of stories and baekhyun has started plenty of his own under tall ceilings and trapped between bookcases. ) 

Today had been another day when Jiho was free from the burdens of working at the lousy café and for Anathema. Instead of remaining at home, snuggled in the security of his own blankets, Jiho found himself wandering towards the library which he recently frequented. Jiho was occasionally found at libraries and that wasn’t too much of a surprised as he’d enjoyed reading up on history, trying to see what flaws in strategies would have caused the biggest armies and navies in empires to collapse and forfeit their power. What was rare though, was that Jiho had found his attention stolen away from his readings by someone in the library.

At first, he’d never noticed this employee, the quiet boy who barely spoke and silently did his job as he was supposed to, but then, Jiho needed to inquire the location of a book he wanted but had noticed how shy the other was. Jiho liked people who were shy and quiet, noise just wasn’t his type of world. It was difficult for Jiho to make contact with the boy, he’d seen how the other had jumped or frozen whenever a stranger would ask him something out of the blue. Not wanting to scare him away, Jiho brainstormed ways to contact the boy, just to show his personal appreciation of this one employee who’d caught his eye.

He’d written on one of the post-its in his bag and had signed it as X0, not sure how the other boy would react to his approach. Watching from one of the tables, pretending to have been absorbed by the contents of his book, he’d seen the other boy read it, confused as he searched for the sender. Then Jiho had left another. And another – in which he’d finally found out the name of the boy when a taller boy had called to him, “Baekhyun” apparently was his name.

like that girl who, just last week had accidentally dropped a book on a tall boy’s foot while he was reaching for something, and their eyes met — and that was the start of something special.  yes, the library is a place of stories, a place of memories.  baekhyun hardly realizes he’s in a storybook of his own.

the post it notes seem to come once a week now, sometimes once every few days.  he’s long since grown used to them, even looked forward to their spirited messages and the cute drawings signed by ‘ X0’.  he never thought he’d see the day when something like this wouldn’t bother him, wouldn’t make him tremble at the sight and hands shake as the paper flits to the ground.  but there’s no way he could ever think that X0 was dangerous, not with the way he watched — it felt safe, like chanyeol at his back and arms around his waist; perhaps too close, but sometimes that’s what a security blanket is.

his mind wanders to the identity of X0, he wonders why he hasn’t really seen him, remembered who he is yet —.  baekhyun wishes that he could, which is certainly something strange for him because he never wants to know who anyone is; it’s just not in his personality.  X0 is another book that baekhyun should never want to read, but he can’t help his curiosity and hold onto the post it notes with hope.

a crash is the beginning of another story.  

baekhyun turns and hurries to the section ( that he just shelved ) and a white haired boy is collapsed on the floor, coloured paper in hand.

baekhyun is smart.  he puts two and two together.

Click (/the line picks up, his voice repeating in the call and just faintly in the silence, there’s soft breathing before the voice answers him – a long lost friend, who’d finally returned)

(/ jiho is at a loss of words because just hearing Baek was enough, knowing he was alright, knowing that this boy he’d seen working at a library was still okay)… (/he takes a deep breath, it’s okay – he’s awake and this was real)

(/ it's not like he's going through much better. ) ... ... (/ and at the sound of his name, baekhyun startles; sits straighter and holds the phone tighter to his ear, eyes clenched closed as if it would dam the waterfall of tears threatening to spill. ) jiho -- (/ his voice chokes up and cracks, and he takes a shaky breath -- this is much harder than he thought it would be; his heart feels shattered on the floor. ) ... ... i'm so sorry ... (/ he bites his lip -- hard, enough to taste metal on his tongue, and he's sure that it's split but he deserves so much more for making jiho cry like this, for making him worry like this.  he should have known that this was home a long time ago.  he should have never left. ) i ... ... i had to go.  (/ and his memory floods him with visions of france, of versailles and pretty streets and places that he felt out of sorts -- ) i won't.  

"He loves me, he loves me not… oh."

"She loves me, she loves me not… oh."

"I don’t think it’s love…"

"So, is there anyone you’re secretly crushing on?"

"I don’t even like chocolate."

"Yeah, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than a bouquet that’ll die in two days…"

"I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker… but at least they have good taste in gifts."

"Oh! It’s my favourite time of year."

"If I send a mass text to all the people I like, I don’t need to get all of them gifts do I?"

"I’ve never had a Valentine."

"Will you be my Valentine?"

"Do you have a Valentine yet?"

"No one ever serenades me any more."

"Just don’t write a song and play it in front of everyone again… it’s embarrassing."

"Any secret admirers?"

"Oh, so you’re my secret admirer?"

"I may have been admiring you not so secretly."

"Just because you like me doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual."

"Seeing as we’ve both not got anyone, do you want to come to mine and watch a film?

"We’re never getting back together."

"So, he got me a teddy bear, but we fought and he tore off it’s head."

"How about instead of being ridiculous on one day of the year, you just be a decent partner for the other 364 days?!"

"We’re not together any more."

"If you haven’t booked a table we definitely won’t get to eat there on such short notice."

"It’s just Valentine’s day… I don’t see the big deal."

"What do you mean you didn’t get me anything?"

"I’m feeling sick, is it okay if we arrange our date for another night?"

"I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker…."

"Well… they don’t know I’m going out with you so we’re going to have a girls night sitting in and cry about being single…"

"I’ve got the lube and strawberries, we’re all set!"

"I got out the whipped cream and she slammed the door in my face."

"I am not wearing that."

"When he said he would give me a pearl necklace, I thought I was getting actual jewellery."

"It would have been a lot more romantic if you de-thorned the rose before you put it in your mouth…"

"I’m all for dressing up… but, how do you wear this?"

"If I see another couple holding hands, I’ll… I’ll-"

"Young love, isn’t it sweet?"

"Who did you get all these roses for?"

"I don’t love you, I’m just hear for the chocolate."

"So, let me get this right, you want me to be a stand in to make the person you like jealous?"

"Valentines? Pft!"

"That’s the least romantic thing anyone has ever said to me…"

"What are you doing? Why are you on one knee? Get up! Get up!"

"My mum gave me a rose because she felt sorry for me."

"Look, you can buy me all the chocolate’s in the world, I still won’t go out with you."

(/ his face is emotionless as the familiar voice begins to speak to him, the pounding frozen at the recognition) Baek, why are you apologizing (/ even though there’s no one there to hear him) I’m sorry too (/his own voice chokes up the familiarity)

(/ he doesn’t move after the message has stopped, then he plays it again, and once more just to make sure it’s not his hopes deluding him in a dream. Then he notices the time of the call and resents himself for being able to sleep last night. Even before his mind is made up, his fingers have already swiped the redial)

Ring.

(/ but it's okay.  he takes a deep breath and convinces himself that this is okay, that jiho is okay -- that even though baekhyun abandoned, jiho is not shy.  jiho still wants him back despite the sadness that baekhyun is sure has crept into his heart in the time that he was gone.  god only knows how jiho feels.  baekhyun felt like death incarnate when he left home. ) 

click.