Cto10121 is finally doing a personalized tag masterpost!!! Itās about damn time. Anyhoo, hopefully this will make it easier to find most everything of interest in my blog.
Me, Myself, and I
Cristina Reviews: General tag for my reviews of books, movies, musicals, and TV shows.
Cristina Reads: General tag for books with text, quotes, and screenshots.
Cristina Opines: My cold takes.
Cristina Has An Unpopular Opinion: My hot takes.
Cristina Is Silly: Technically I have a sense of humor.
Cristina Memes: Badly, but she does.
Cristina Metas: General tag for my nerdy griping.
Icon Fun: I had tons with those icon memes of yore.
Ask/Reply
I Come Anon: For anonymous asks.
Books & Literature
Cristina Is An English Major: Main tag.
Popular Fandoms
Twilight Meta: Meta on Twilight.
Anti Anti Twilight: This is a pro-romance blog above all, but honestly it doesnāt deserve it.
Twilight Clownery: Tumblrās hatred of Twilight has much to do with hate, but more with love clownery.
SAB Meta: Very critical meta on Bardugoās Shadow and Bone. See also: Anti Malina, Mal Me Cae Muy Mal
Darling Dorkling Darkling Done Dirty: I originated this tag and donāt you lot forget it! Defense of The Darkling from Bardugoās Shadow and Bone.
HP Clown Takes: Harry Potter clownery is real and so I eat it.
Shakespeare
R&J Meta/RJ Meta: Meta on Shakespeareās Romeo and Juliet. The Struggle Is Real for both Shakespeare and Presgurvic meta. I also did a read-through on Arthur Brookeās version.
R&J Clown Takes: Itās a whole series by this point. See also: RJ Clown Takes, RJ Clownery, R&J Clownery.
Romeo Hate Dumb: So much material that I literally had to create my own tag for it. Thanks for nothing, world.
Hamlet Meta: Meta on Shakespeareās Hamlet.
Hamlet Clownery: I foresee this will be a thing.
Shakespeare Meta: Meta on Shakespeareās plays in general.
Shakespeare Clownery: Might as well create this tag because I know Iām going to need it.
Life of Will: Meta on Shakespeare himself and his life.
Thatās kind of my main thing. I still have my AO3 and Fanfiction.Net accounts, as well as a sister blog here, technically.
Lyrics and Translations
The agonies of a certain English translation of RetJ has driven me to a life of crime lyric writing, beginning with RetJ. I also uploaded whole scripts to my lyrics website; those are more or less the latest versions.
My Lyrics: My general tag for all my translations, including pop and world music.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
In your post on the timeline of "Romeo and Juliet," you described Susan, the dead girl the Nurse mentions, as Juliet's sister. But I thought Susan was the Nurse's daughter: her having been born around the same time as Juliet would explain why the Nurse had breastmilk to suckle Juliet too. By "sister," did you mean "foster sister"?
No one really knows if Susan is meant to be the Nurseās daughter or Julietās sister. I think most copies of the play gloss her as the Nurseās daughter, on the strength of āSusan and sheā¦were of an age,ā implying two separate kids instead of siblings with a natural age gap. (Also ditto the breastmilk, good point). But Iāve always suspected she was meant to be Julietās sister, one of the Capulet siblings that died early (āthe earth hath swallowed all my hopes but sheā), perhaps even a twin (!).
For one thing, āWell, Susan is with God / She was too good for meā is far too casual to refer to a long-lost daughter. It feels like something an employee would say about a charge she lost than a daughter. (Then again, the Nurse is inwardly cold, so it might not be a strong indicator). There is also the possibility that since they are so close in age, Susan and Juliet could have been treated as de facto sisters by the Nurse, especially if they grew up together for some years until Susanās death.
Either way, the chime between Susan and Juliet and Susanna and Judith is too great to ignore, and I feel it really is no coincidence.
I learned about the YA book Teach Torches to Burn, but from its summary, I'm just like, why does this need to be a retelling of Romeo and Juliet? Romeo's love interest is now a fellow Montague, and the feud doesn't seem to be playing that big of a role. So I'm really not seeing why he cannot just marry a Montague woman and have an affair, why does he need to bring Juliet into it?
Just looked it up! Apparently in this book Romeo falls in love with Valentine, almost certainly Mercutioās brother, so heād be falling in love with an Escalus (unless in this version Mercutio is now a Montague? Wouldnāt be the first time, honestly). Juliet is still a character in this version, so this confirms that Valentine is meant to be Mercutioās brother/an OC and not a genderbent Juliet. Iām guessing the author is using the historical animus against same-sex relationships as the main barrier instead of the blood feud.
Making R&J into a same sex couple makes sense and should be an easy enough undertaking...in theory. In practice, I havenāt really found any version that has either improved on Shakespeareās play or done something new and good in its own right. Both Female Romeo/Female Juliet and Male Juliet/Male Romeo havenāt been all that satisfactory. Unfortunately, it seems this book illustrates the problems of reworking R&J into a genuinely queer narrative without changing the characters and even themes dramatically.
Romeo and Julietās Timeline: or, Let No One Sleep
Of all the whinging this play gets, its ultra compressed timeline is definitely a perennial complaint. Never mind that Shakespeare never cared much about realistic timelines. Still, the timeline and overall structure of the play is significant, so I took it upon myself to really nail down the times and dates. Is this anti whinging really warranted? Does the short timeline harm the playās verisimilitude? Is there a reason to this timeline madness to begin with? Letās find out.
The Evidence
We know the playās events all occur in less than a week. There is Capulet agreeing Paris will marry Juliet on a Monday, for one thing, the same day R&J get married and when Romeo kills Tybalt and is banished. That means Romeo and Juliet met the day before, on a Sunday.
We also know Julietās birthday is āa fortnight and odd days,ā according to Lady Capulet. And according to the Nurse she was born on Lammas Eve (July 31st) at night. This means that we are 14 days from the 31st, so in terms of the date, it could be 14-15-16-17-19. If, letās say, we are 17 days away from the end of the month, then the play would begin on Sunday, July 14thāapropos, since itād be Julietās 14th birthday. Iām just going to choose that for my date, but pretty much any date over 16 is good.
Sunday, July 14th
8:00am-9:00am: Sampson and Gregory fight with Abram and Balthazar, leading Benvolio to interfere and Tybalt to arrive. There is a plaza-wide brawl which the Prince finally stops. He gives his edict. Lady Montague asks Benvolio where Romeo is, and Benvolio tells his parents about seeing Romeo early in the morning crying under a sycamore tree.
9:00am-10:00am: Romeo then arrives, and Benvolio goes to talk to him. Romeo asks Benvolio if itās still early, heavily implying he has been at the sycamore tree, and Benvolio affirms, saying: āBut new struck nine.ā
During this time Lord Capulet and Paris talk about the latterās suit to Juliet. Capulet is reluctant, but he does invite Paris to his party tonight. He also gives a list of invitees to his a messenger, who alas cannot read. He comes across Romeo and Benvolio, who are still arguing over Rosaline. Romeo finally reads aloud the list. Benvolio persuades Romeo to attend this party, which Rosaline would attend.
9:30am-10:00am: Around the same time, Lady Capulet calls Juliet to tell her about Parisā proposal. The Nurse wastes a lot of time reminiscing, but ultimately Juliet agrees to give Paris a chance at the party tonight.
8/9/10pm (20/21/22:00): Romeo, Mercutio, Benvolio et al. go to Capuletās feast. When is really not certain, but considering they have torches lit and it is Verona in July and the summer days are really long, we can safely assume it must be quite late, probably even 10pm.
10/11/12pm (22/23/24:00): At Capuletās feast, Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love. They get interrupted by the Nurse, who tells Romeo Juliet is Capuletās heir. Shortly after that, however, the gatecrashers begin to leave, and Capulet gets told it is very late. Capulet then says goodnight and itās off to bed with him. Juliet asks the Nurse who Romeo is and she finds out the truth: He is a Montague.
10/11/12pm (22/23/24:00): Romeo climbs the garden wall, and Mercutio and Benvolio see him. Mercutio tries to get him to come out, but it doesnāt work. They leave.
11/12/1:00am (24/25/1:00am): Romeo sees a light coming through a window: Juliet has come out and is talking to herself about her love for Romeo. Romeo shows himself, they talk, woo, and agree to marry. Juliet promises to send her Nurse to him at 9:00am. She then mentions itās almost morning by the time they part.
This seems improbable, given that the scene is around 20-25 minutes if performed as fully written. Shakespeare may have conceived their discourse taking hours until 5:00am in the morning. Juliet is worried her family may hear them, however, so it could be earlier than supposedāthe party has just recently ended, after all.
Monday, July 15th
3:00am-4:00am: Friar Lawrence is up very early in the morning and is surprised to see Romeo up early too. He guesses that he āhas not been in bed tonightā and Romeo confirms it. Romeo then asks Friar Lawrence to marry him and Juliet together. Lawrence agrees, if just to end the feud.
4:00am-8:00am: Itās dead time. Juliet hopefully got some sleep, and Romeo may have taken a nap somewhere not his fatherās until a little before 9am. At least, I heartily hope so. Go the fuck to sleep, Romeo.
8:00am-8:30am: Mercutio wonders where tf Romeo is, and Benvolio says he hasnāt been at āhis fatherāsāāhe had spoken to Balthazar (so Romeo hasnāt gone to bed. Damn it, Romeo).
Romeo finally comes, and he and Mercutio have a battle of wits. Despite the fact that he hasnāt slept since Saturday night, Romeo wins the battle of wits easily (or maybe the light-headedness from sleep deprivation + being in love made him particularly witty). Either way, Mercutio is happy his bro is back to ~normal and doesnāt suspect a thing.
9:10-9:30am: The Nurse arrives! We know it isnāt exactly nine because Juliet gripes that the clock struck nine when she sent the Nurse and she had promised to return in half an hour.
Mercutio et al. tease the Nurse, and Romeo tells the Nurse to tell Juliet to come to the Friarās cell āthis afternoonā to be married. Romeo also tells the Nurse that Balthazar will bring a ladder made of ropes so that Romeo can get to Juliet for their wedding night.
12:00pm-1:00pm (13:00): Juliet complains itās been āthree long hoursā since she sent the Nurse, from ānine till twelveā but she hasnāt arrived yet. The Nurse really is that slow. Still, that is a long time to be out. Did she go grocery shopping afterwards? Who tf knows.
The Nurse finally arrives after 12pm, and after much delay tells Juliet to go to the Friarās cell to get married. She then goes to take lunch (ādinnerā) and get the ladder of ropes from Balthazar.
1:00pm-2:00pm (13-14:00): Romeo and Juliet get married at Friar Lawrenceās cell! Good for them. The Nurse eats lunch and goes to get the ladder of ropes from Balthazar.
1:30pm-2:30pm (13:30-14:30): Meanwhile, Benvolio is worried about the intense heat and Mercutio is raring for a fight. Tybalt finally comes looking for Romeo.
Romeo arrives and refuses to duel Tybalt. Mercutio and Tybalt duel instead, and Tybalt slays Mercutio. Mercutio is taken to a house and dies. Tybalt returns and Romeo kills him.
2:30pm-3:30pm (14:30-15:30): Romeo flees, and people come, including the Prince. Lady Capulet calls for justice. The Prince decides to banish Romeo as a compromise.
4/5/6pm (16/17/18:00): Juliet longs for the night to come fast so that she and Romeo can fuck. That does beg the question, though: Is Juliet looking at a sunset (āGallop apace ye fiery-footed steedsā) or is it still late afternoon and sheās just impatient?
Either way, when the Nurse arrives with the ropes. She eventually tell her, Juliet describes herself as Romeoās āthree hoursā wife.ā Itās been, thus, three hours since their wedding if taken literally.
4/5/6pm (16/17/18:00): The Friar keeps Romeo hidden in his cell. For most productions, they are already early evening. Romeo reacts badly, and the Nurse finally arrives to make things worse. The Friar rants, and the Nurse finally gives Romeo Julietās ring. Romeo departs the cell to go to Juliet.
6:00pm-12:00pm (18:00-24:00): The Capulets have a funeral and bury Tybalt. Juliet crying āimmoderatelyā (per Paris) for Tybaltās death, which freaks out her parents. Romeo presumably sneaks into Julietās bedroom during this time, perhaps around 9:00pm-10:00pm. Heāll have to be careful, though, because the Capulets are still up with Paris.
12:00pm-2:00am (24:00-2:00am): Capulet meets with Paris, and says it is very late and if it werenāt for his visit, he would have been in bed an hour ago (a big please-go-away hint if I ever heard one). Capulet does decide, however, that Juliet will marry Paris on Thursday. He mentions it is so āvery late that we may call it early by and by.ā
Tuesday, July 16th
3:00pm-5:00pm (15:00-17:00): So hereās a problem. Capulet tells Lady Capulet to go to Juliet before she goes to bed to tell her about Paris. Lady Capulet does indeed do this (Juliet wonders why her mother is up so late, or so early). This means that by the time Lady Capulet arrives, Romeo and Juliet have already talked, had sex, and said their goodbyes.
Thus, it is dawn or early morning when Capulet threatens Juliet with disownment and when the Nurse advises Juliet to marry Paris. Juliet decides to go to the Friar straightaway.
5:00-7:00am: Paris tells the Friar about the wedding on Thursday. Juliet arrives, and she and Paris have a disastrous first meeting. Juliet threatens suicide, and the Friar comes up with the potion plan. He tells Juliet to drink the potion on Wednesday night.
7:00am-5:00pm (17:00): The rest of the day is the Capulets preparing for the short-notice wedding. The Friar has presumably sends Friar John to Mantua with the letter to Romeo by this time. Romeo is in Mantua and has probably crashed out in pure exhaustion. At least, I fervently hope so. Again, go the fuck to sleep, Romeo.
5:00pm-6:00pm (17-18:00): Another problem. Lady Capulet worries they wonāt have enough food, and affirms that it is ānow near night.ā This must mean that Juliet going to the Friar for confession lasted the whole day. Either thatās a historical reality of going to church for confession, or Shakespeare became messy with his pacing.
Either way, Juliet returns to her father and pretends to agree to the wedding. Capulet, delighted, decides to move up the wedding for tomorrow morning, on Wednesday! Yikes!
9:00pm (21:00): Juliet takes the potion. For simplicityās sake, Iāll say it was 9:00pm, since that is also the time when Romeo arrives and Juliet sends her Nurse. The potion lasts 48 hours, so Juliet is due to wake up on Thursday, July 17th, 9:00pm.
Wednesday, July 17th
1:00am-5:00am: The Capulets are up late, still preparing for the wedding. At the end of the scene, Capulet explains itās day, and Paris is due to arrive at the house any moment with the musicians. He arrives shortly after this, and Capulet sends the Nurse to wake Juliet up.
5:00am-6:00am: The Nurse tries to wake Juliet up and fails. The Capulets believe she is dead, and take up a general lament. Paris arrives with the musicians and laments also. The Friar then arrives, gives them all a scolding, and the wedding is turned into an impromptu funeral.
6:00am-9:00am: The Capulets put Juliet in their family crypt. Balthazar is a key witness to the proceedings (āI saw her laid low in her kindredās vaultā) and hastens to Mantua to tell Romeo. Exactly how long it takes him to go there is uncertain.
9:00pm (21:00): Juliet is still sleeping. Balthazar is either traveling to Mantua, or has already arrived there and told Romeo, who decides he will āhence tonight.ā Most likely, though, Balthazar doesnāt get to Mantua until Thursday morning or afternoon.
Thursday, July 18th
9:00am-10:00am: In Mantua, Romeo recounts a dream he had, positive but strange. This suggests he has just woken up or itās in the early morning. Iām going to say 9am, since this play loves its nines. (There is the possibility that Romeo may have woken up in the late afternoon or even evening on Wednesday thanks to his sleep deficit).
Shortly after this, Balthazar arrives and tells Romeo about Julietās death. Romeo tells Balthazar to get paper and horsesāthey will leave Mantua tonight (āI will hence tonightā) or Romeo thinks he will arrive at Verona by tonight and he really means he is leaving ASAP.
Balthazar leaves, and in the meantime Romeo remembers a poor apothecary from whom he can get poison. He also mentions this is a holiday, so the apothecaryās shop is closed. What holiday this could be is uncertain. There is the feast of Saint Anneās on the 26th, but that is too close to Julietās birthday.
Regardless, Romeo knocks, and the apothecary comes out. Romeo swiftly convinces the apothecary to sell him poison.
9:00am-6:00pm (20:00): Romeo and Balthazar leave Mantua and travel to Verona, arriving around 8:00pm (20:00). He and Romeo arrive in Verona and are at the Capulet tomb before the Friar.
6:00pm (18:00): The Friar meets with Friar John and discovers to his horror the letter was not delivered due to the literal plague. He mentions that āwithin this three hours will fair Juliet wake.ā Since I have decided this would be 9:00pm (21:00), the Friar would receive this news at this time. Boy, is he super slow.
8:20pm-8:50pm (20:20-20:50): Paris is putting flowers on Julietās grave and is alerted by his page that there are intruders. Romeo and Balthazar arrive with weapons to break into the vault. Romeo instructs Balthazar to take a letter to his father.
Paris tries to stop Romeo. Romeo tries to dissuade Paris, but they end up fighting. The page leaves to call the watch. Romeo kills Paris and honors his wish to be lain next to Juliet.
8:50pm (20:50): Romeo talks to Juliet and takes poison. He dies. The Friar finally arrives, and Balthazar tells him Romeo has been in there āa full half hourā in the vault.
9:00pm (21:00): Juliet wakes up. The Friar tells her about their botched plan and beseeches her to leave with him so that he could take her to a nunnery. Juliet refuses, and he leaves, frightened by the noise.
9:00pm-9:10pm (21:00-21:10): Juliet tries to kill herself by taking poison, but the cup is empty: Romeo has drunk it all. She then kisses his lips to try to get poison from them, but they are still warm. A noise alarms her, and Juliet finally takes Romeoās dagger and kills herself with it.
9:10pm-9:30pm (21:10-21:30): The page and the watchmen arrive, as well as the rest of the watch, and pretty much everyone of importance in Verona. They arrest the Friar. At around this time or even before, Lady Montague dies of heartbreak.
Friday, July 19th
9:30pm-4:00am (21:30-4:00am): Yet another problem. The action of the play suggests that Romeo and Juliet are discovered very quickly after Julietās suicide, but at the end of the scene the Prince mentions a gray dawn. So weāre supposed to think the whole discovery process takes the whole night going into early morning Friday. In any case, people are rushing to the Capulet crypt, calling out Romeo, Juliet, and Parisā names.
4:00am-5:00am: The Prince comes in, wondering what has roused him from his āmorning rest.ā Iām assuming he is usually up very early. The Capulets arrive after that. Montague arrives alone, and informs them all that my wife āis dead tonight.ā The Friar arrives and tells the adults everything, and the Prince reads Romeoās letter to his father confirming all of this.
5:00am-6:00am: The Prince says, āa glooming peace this morning with it brings / The sun, for sorrow, will not show its head.ā It is thus a gray dawn. He orders them to go and talk about this sad tragedy some more, and deal further judgment on others.
Conclusions & Takeaways
In short, the play takes place in five whole days mid-July, ending early morning on a Friday (a reference to another not-so-good Good Friday?). This is different from Arthur Brookeās poem and other sources which space out the events in months. Dramatic verse, naturally, lends itself to compression, so Shakespeareās decision to compress the timeline is almost certainly a feature of the medium. But why did Shakespeare choose to compress the playās action in five days instead of, say, a full week?
My best guess is that Shakespeare was trying his own spin on the classical unities, attempting to get as close to real time as possible without too much (overt) time jumping. In other words, we are meant to experience the play almost as if it were occurring right before our eyes, conveying a sense of urgency and immediacy. Perhaps thatās why some scenes end with a character announcing it is nearly morning or night; we are meant to see whole events and conversations taking hours in-universe, even if they seem to be acted right away in the play. Either way, Shakespeare plotted this play extremely closely, with excellent if imperfect attention to detail.
As for the date, choosing July as the month of the tragedy makes perfect sense, since itās summer (the season of love and passion) but also quite late-ish, just before August (the season of love is coming to a end). Why Shakespeare chose mid-July instead of the last week of July, right at the heels of Julietās birthday on the 31st, is not as easily ascertained. But I guess even Shakespeare was not a sadist like I am.
Joking aside, I have a theory: This could be a reference to Shakespeareās personal life, since he usually doesnāt do dates in his fiction and his sources donāt do it either for the most part. The fact that we know Julietās birthday and that itās a little over a fortnight away goes beyond the call of dramatic verisimilitude. July in the 1590s did deliver major events (Spanish Armada, Babington Plot, Lord Hunsdonās death). The Spanish Armada gets an allusion (Mercutioās ācutting Spanish throatsā in his Queen Mab speech), and there are the playhouses shutting down because of plague (which also causes problems in the play). In terms of Shakespeareās personal life, however, the links are fewer. His siblings and children were not born around this time (Susanna, almost certainly alluded to as Julietās long-lost sister āSusan,ā was born in May, and the twins Judith and Hamlet were born at the end of January), his friends neither (Christopher Marlowe, a possible inspiration for Mercutio, was born in February and died in late May). The most popular candidates of the Fair Youth and the Dark Lady were also not born around this time (Southampton was in October, Emilia Bassano in January, William Herbert in April).
So all in all, my suspicion is that Lammas Eve at night may be a reference to his wifeās real-life birthday, Anne Hathaway. Mid-July may have been when Shakespeare and Anne wooed each other. There is also the possibility Shakespeare may have met any of his unknown lovers around this time.
(Also. People have joked about Romeo being sleep deprived, but the truth is, few major characters get enough sleep in this play. The Capulets are up with the party, Tybaltās funeral, and Julietās wedding-turned-funeral. Juliet has a sleep deficit when she stays up all night with Romeo on Monday morning, sending the Nurse to Romeo at nine, and further compounded when she has her wedding night with Romeo on Tuesday morning. On Tuesday night she falls into a deathlike sleep, however, so she finally gets all the sleep she needs.)
new moon and the jacob plot have never been about a love triangle to me. because the purpose they serve narratively is way more interesting. new moon gives bella a chance to discover herself in forks away from edward, a chance to value her humanity more, and what's so important about that narrative beat for her character and for the story as a whole is that she still chooses him despite that. it was obviously always going to be edward. the love triangle shit was just pushed for marketing. but really, new moon gives us a chance to understand that for bella, it wasn't simple male validation or romance she craved, but edward specifically. she was given a chance to appreciate her mortal life more and deepen relationships with the people she had considered leaving behind, but it still never truly weakened her resolve. that's what makes new moon and jacob so important to the story, they serve to remind us that bella is not a teenage girl desperate to be loved, she's a teenage girl who is desperately in love with an unshakable will. it takes her out of the fantasy for a moment to remind her of the material world she lives in, it gives her a moment to reflect on that world, allows her to develop and grow in that world, and makes her decision in the end more impactful. she's no longer blind to what she's risking, but the future she sees for herself and the boy she's in love with are decidedly worth those risks. whether you agree with her decision was never the point. the point was always to expand upon the realities of devotion and sacrifice and love! get with it people.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
R&J Clown Takes Special Edition: David Tennantās Essay, Sadly
I recently stumbled upon this essay by Tennant on playing Romeo for Michael Boydās 2000 production. So many good thingsā¦and so many weird shit too. Alas, I am sworn to eat clownery where I find it. And so, with the greatest respectā¦š½ļø
āBenvolioā and ācynicismā should be many miles asunder, however qualified. Benvolio is genuinely concerned with Romeo and takes even his love angst seriously. I would also argue that he fails in curbing Romeoās excesses, just as he fails in curbing Mercutioās. (Does he even try? Maybe a little, but ultimately nah).
Rosaline as a novice nun is very reasonable interpretation, even likely. But I donāt think itās Rosalineās inaccessibility alone that appeals to Romeo, as he explicitly complains about her chastity vow.
Also, Romeo later proves he can undertake grave physical and emotional risks, even eagerly, for Juliet, so itās not that Rosaline is an emotionally āsafeā option for a timid and insecure teenager (which Romeo isnāt) or even a drama-loving one (if so, then Romeo would have fallen for another woman that would really put him through the wringer. Or, er, just get involved in street fights and eschew love drama altogether).
This means that at some level, Romeo believes Rosaline is not worth the trouble. Again, I suspect Rosalineās chastity vow is a genuine deal-breaker for him, and I think he knows it deep down.
Romeo most certainly does not express sentiments of this sort to Benvolio. (Unless Tennant is thinking about Romeoās āFarewell, thou canst not teach me to forgetā line? Still not an expression of superiority).
Also, if Romeo is enjoying his own drama, it suggests he is self-centered beyond mere adolescent myopia. I donāt think thatās fair to say. On the contrary, he displays almost radical disregard for his own life and safety in trying to be with Juliet, eventually killing himself for her. And all signs point to the fact that, like Juliet, he is also a neglected kid.
My take? I read this self-indulgence on Romeoās part as really boredom. You see some of that in Mercutio and even Benvolio. Smart, energetic, quick-witted kids with nothing to do, since they are too old to be tutored or chaperoned (as young men) and too highborn to work. What little amusement there is for them, like archery, is all martially-inclined. So there is no real exercise for smart young men to channel their energies and wits into. Mercutio and Benvolio mitigate it through Veronaās martial culture; Romeo chooses romantic entanglements instead.
Disaffected, yes. But that Romeo is not understood, at least not completely, by his friends and family, is canonical fact (ditto Juliet). Unfortunate, but true. His friends are sympathetic, even Mercutio in his heart of hearts, but they are too invested in Veronaās honor culture to understand Romeoās refusal to play along. Both Romeo and Juliet are like this and thus linked together conceptually.
āDoesnāt entirely applaud Romeoās interest in girlsāā Lol. Lmao, even.
For one thing, Mercutio does encourage Romeo to get laid in order to forget Rosaline (āPrick love for pricking, and you beat love downā). He also thinks that Romeoās interest in Rosaline is sexual in nature and thinks itās hilarious (āO, Romeo, that she were, o that she were, / An open arse, and thou a popārin pear!ā). Definitely not the attitude of someone secretly in love with their best friend.
For another, Mercutio gives a lewd blazon of Rosaline, presumably to mock Romeoās own words, hypothetical or otherwise, about her...except Romeo never blazons Rosaline or even describes her physically. Not even once. There is a possibility Romeo would have gushed about Rosaline in front of Mercutio off-stage, but considering he doesnāt do it even before his sympathetic cousin, what are the chances that he would do it before his infinitely more cynical friend? This blazon, then, must be Mercutioās own invention, either based on his own knowledge of the girl or his imagination. If so, then Mercutio is definitely not ragging on Romeo for liking a hot girl. Most likely, he has seen Rosaline and thinks she is hot too.
What Mercutio does criticize Romeo for is not his heterosexuality, which he seems to take for granted. Itās his lack of manliness in mooning too much over a girl (āAnd is he such a man to encounter Tybalt?ā).
I donāt know if āflower,ā pink or otherwise, is a euphemism for homosexual man during the Elizabethan era. My best guess is that itās not, and this is really a Victorian/modern conceit. At least Shakespeare never uses it as such in that sense and I have not seen this in my own readings of that era.
Romeoās use of āgoose,ā however, is absolutely unambiguous: It is Elizabethan slang for prostitute. There is even a type of prostitute from Winchester called Winchester goose. Romeo is almost certainly roasting Mercutio for his horniness and not referring to himself.
Romeo is definitely the one who wins the battle of the wits. Mercutio explicitly concedes (āNay, if our wits run the wild goose chase, I am doneā) and even says Romeo is too witty for him today (āfor thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole fiveā). Romeo doesnāt even stop after the Nurse arrives and is still roasting him (āA gentlemen that God made, himself to marā; āA gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a monthā). So yeah, Romeo cooked Mercutioās goose (ha), and good in the scene.
Romeo āThy plaintain leaf is excellent for thy broken shinā Montague? Romeo āIt is the East, and Juliet is the sunā Montague? Romeo āI pay thy poverty and not thy willā Montague? Homeboy consistently delivers banger after banger even in the midst of sleep deprivation, teenage angst, and, er, suicidal despair, but Tennant thinks a smooth pick-up line after falling in love at first sight with his one true match is too much for Romeo to come up with on the spot. Dude. Dude.
Also, I just canāt see Romeo saying this particular line to Rosaline or any other woman. Even in the midst of his love angst he never spoke about Rosaline with this kind of metaphor, infused with power and moral authority. He never uses this kind of elevated language about her. The pilgrim/saint metaphor, however, is a direct thematic continuation of Romeoās āsnowy drove trooping with the crowsā and other lines he says about Juliet.
Iām not sure where the idea that Romeo causes or is responsible for Mercutioās death comes from. Either way, itās not true.
For one thing, the situation is already cursed on all levels. Romeo agrees to fight Tybalt? Either Romeo gets killed, Tybalt gets killed, they both get caught and sentenced to death, or they flee Verona with their lives intact but now in exile. Romeo lets Mercutio and Tybalt fight and stays out of it? Either Mercutio gets killed, Tybalt gets killed, they both get caught and sentenced to death, or they flee Verona with their lives intact but now in exile. The only suitable course of action is not to fight, which of course two characters are already keen on doing.
So no matter what Romeo does, tragedy is going to result. Mercutio was a possibly dead or exiled man the moment he challenged Tybalt. Perhaps Mercutio may have lived had not Romeo intervened...or maybe Tybalt would have gotten the better of him and hurt/killed him anyway. I honestly donāt see Romeo interfering making that much a difference.
Aaaaand Iāve hit my image limit, so text it is:
It was important to me that when Tybalt reappeared Romeo dispatched him quickly, violently, and with as little sense of honour as possible. We know that Romeo is not, by nature, violent and there is nothing in the text to suggest that he is a particularly good swordsman (Mercutio suggests earlier in the scene that he is no match for Tybalt), so if we are to believe that he could kill Tybalt it has to be a sudden, reckless act done in the blind heat of a moment's pure rage. He is in a miasma of confusion, injustice and terrible, terrible guilt and the presence of Tybalt alive and well with the sight of Mercutio's blood still vivid in Romeo's mind pushes him into a stupor of fury and violence.
Iāve already talked before how Mercutio does have (implied) faith in Romeoās abilities to fight Tybalt, as does Benvolio (āRomeo will answer itā). What Mercutio questions is Romeoās willingness to fight and be a man when he is busy mooning over Rosaline. After the battle of wits, however, Mercutio is satisfied that Romeo has come to his proper senses (āNow art thou Romeoā) and fully expects him to fight Tybalt (āHeāll be your followerā). That Mercutio shows little to no concern for Romeo fighting Tybalt and potentially getting hurt or killed suggests he places a high degree of trust in his abilities as a swordman. (That, or he really is that disdainful of Tybaltās fighting prowess).
As for Romeoās decision to kill Tybalt, it is canonically not a spur of the moment kind of thing at all. Shakespeare even gives Romeo a brief monologue and everything.
The scene in the friar's cell (III.iii) where Romeo learns that he is to be banished from Verona, sees him at his most helpless. Romeo has no one to blame but himself for the death of Tybalt, and consequently the death of his marriage to Tybalt's cousin, and it is the friar who gets the full front of Romeo's rage of helplessness. I didn't want to hold back on this. I felt that Romeo would react like a cornered animal, lashing out at the friar and blaming him for his predicament. Unreasonable and childish though that may be, this is, it seems to me, often how we treat those closest to us.
Romeo does not blame the Friar for any of the deaths at all. He lashes out because of Friarās assumption that he should be happy with his sentence. But he breathes not a word of blame to the Friar.
In our production Michael had Alex and me walking through the people round the tomb after our death and then walking off the stage and out through the audience so that, indeed, through death, Romeo and Juliet had somehow escaped. The real tragedy is left for those who have to rebuild this ruined society. One suspects that their problems are bigger than a couple of gold statues can mend.
...Okay, yes, this would have slapped. 10/10.
That said, the real tragedy is still very much R&Jās. Like Hamlet and most of Shakespearean tragedy, they really didnāt have to die. They would have been just fine if it hadnāt been for that feud.
Me: [pacing before the jury] So Iāve talked before about how Juliet became a very good deceiver of her dumbass parents. The Capulets have shown themselves concerned chiefly with appearances, so Juliet being her authentic self was not an option. In canon, we even get Capuletās fingers itching and outright threatening to disown her when Juliet dares not to marry Paris. But I also want to talk about how Romeo is also obliged to deceive his friends a little. Take Mercutio and Romeoās battle of wits, for instance. Iāve talked before how this scene is an illustration of Montacrew dynamics and Mercutioās and Romeoās friendship in particular. All true, but the scene ultimately has a practical purpose: Namely, Romeo must hide the truth of his meeting with Juliet from his friends. In the beginning of the scene, Mercutio and Benvolio confront Romeo about his ditching them last night. Romeo responds with a vague not-apology (āMy business was greatā), and Mercutio in turn heavily implies that Romeo was out getting laid. Romeoās response is telling: Instead of outright lying or denying the claim, Romeo sneakily leads Mercutio to believe his assumption was true. The battle of wits is not just comic relief banter: Itās Romeo slyly distracting his friends from asking about where he was last night. In doing so, he protects his privacy and his forbidden relationship with Juliet. I donāt know, does this make sense?
Locked in too hard on Romeo and Juliet again with my current reread of the play. Romeo has no agency within the text unless it's related to love and Juliet has agency no matter what. They're subverting gender roles within the play your honor.
Romeo, who's depicted as a bleeding heart and a deep soul, only actively pursues ideas of love through the play. Violence isn't something he chooses, it's something that happens to him.
He tries to separate Tybalt and Mercutio, and only resorts to killing Tybalt in his grief and love for Mercutio. Despite not loving Leonardo DiCaprio, his acting in this scene during the 1996 version is a perfect example of this. It's the same with his murder of Paris, he doesn't actively want death and violence here (dare I say this is why it's such a footnote within the story itself).
Juliet, on the other hand, has more agency throughout the majority of the play. Her father gives her the option to choose whether or not to marry Paris, at least before this is revoked later, and this seems to be reflected in her nature. While she has less text overall (and is a little harder to understand because of it, imho), she's more levelheaded than Romeo, and takes far more action than he does.
Juliet is the one to send her nurse to find out more about their wedding. Juliet is the one who decides to defy her father and refuse to marry Paris. Juliet is the one who chooses to go to Friar Lawrence to solve her problems.
All of this even gets boiled down to base gender roles in their deaths. Romeo chooses poison, considered feminine within Shakespeare's work due to its indirect nature, but also continues this characterization of Romeo as almost love incarnate. Juliet, however, has death by blade, which is more masculine in Shakespeare in comparison, due to it being more directly involved in violence. There is such a fascinating juxtaposition in their final scene as a whole between the two of them (that really boils down to my prior statement, though).
Anyway enough analysis, I'm horrifically tired and love r&j and all this to say that Juliet is a boy and Romeo is a girl and they're kissing nasty and it's awesome and I love them.
Romeo is the one who actively decides to go to the Capulet ball despite his foreboding. He is the one who actively approaches Juliet and flirts with her. He is the one who actively hides from his friends and climbs the garden wall. He is the one who actively reveals himself to Juliet and actively professes his love to her. He is the one who actively goes to the Friar and asks him to marry them. He is the one who tells the Nurse to tell Juliet about their marriage. He is the one to actively try to stop Mercutio and Tybaltās fight, even going between them at great personal risk and unintended consequences. He is the one who actively decides to duel and kill Tybalt. He is the one who threatens to kill himself with his dagger before the Friar intervenes. He is the one who says goodbye to Juliet and actively goes to Mantua in exile. He is the one who, when he hears about Julietās death, actively plans his suicide; he tells Balthazar to fetch paper and horses and personally buys poison from an apothecary. He is the one who broke into the Capulet crypt with a pick-axe and a mattock. He is the one who actively decides to kill Paris when the guy refuses to leave. And he is the one who actively drinks poison to join Juliet in death.
Romeo literally does not stop making decisions and exercising his agency throughout the play. He doesnāt even stop, period, to the point where he canonically has a sleep deficit. He is largely motivated by his love for Juliet, but there are two instances in which his motivations were not based on love: His killing Tybalt and Paris.
Juliet also exercises agency, but like Romeo, she is largely motivated by love. She flirts with Romeo and responds to Romeoās kiss. She tells Romeo sheād go with him if he marries her. She sends her Nurse to Romeo to arrange the marriage. She lies, disobeys, and goes against her parents because of her love for Romeo; she doesnāt ever do this before she meets and falls in love with him. She decides to forgive Romeo for Tybaltās murder. She cuts off the Nurse when the latter tells her to forget him and marry Paris. She actively goes to the Friar for help and chooses to behave coldly toward Paris. She drinks the sleep potion because of her love for him. When she awakes from the sleep potion, she tries to kill herself by kissing Romeoās lips and imbibing some of the poison. When that fails, she chooses Romeoās dagger.
Romeo and Juliet are co-protagonists almost exclusively motivated by the love and passion they feel for one another. But if someone were to put a gun to my head and demand I tell them which one had more agency and exercised it the most, the answer is clear.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
When a mysterious hacker leaks the private information of two rival security companies, CIC and MIC grudgingly put aside their enmity to hatch a daring plan: Lure the hacker out with a fake dating scheme involving MICās own bachelor heir, Romeo Montague. But when the Capulets unexpectedly choose their own heiress, sheltered but whip-smart Juliette, both scions find themselves playing a dangerous gameā¦one that threatens to become all too real. Modern AU.
Me: [at the witness stand] I know I have talked about my preference for a white wedding instead of a color one for Aimer like some productions *glares at the Austrian and Revival*ā¦but really, guys, I mean it. I know it isnāt realistic for RetJ to whip out something white to wear while theyāre trying to hide their forbidden love affair from their color-coded families, but itās the ~symbolism for me. Having RetJ be in their house colors when they are literally getting married and defying said houses is just not it. Itās not white=wedding, itās white=a color that is RetJās alone and doesnāt signify the damn feud. It could be purple (red + blue) or even black (to symbolize their subversion of Veronaās norms). If I were to direct a production, Iād have RetJ begin Aimer in their house colors, (because yeah, itās ordinary dress, they canāt draw attention) and then change/reveal their white costumes because they are beyond the feud now. Then Romeo would be able to keep some portion of his white costume during On Dit Dans La Rue. It would also give them something to do instead of just singing at each other and going to the altar and kneeling. Speaking of the direction, can we please make Aimer not boring to look at? The French and Hungarian are still the gold standard for direction, but I swear the direction of this scene keeps getting lazier and lazier. I donāt know, does that make sense?
When a mysterious hacker leaks the private information of two rival security companies, CIC and MIC grudgingly put aside their enmity to hatch a daring plan: Lure the hacker out with a fake dating scheme involving MICās own bachelor heir, Romeo Montague. But when the Capulets unexpectedly choose their own heiress, sheltered but whip-smart Juliette, both scions find themselves playing a dangerous gameā¦one that threatens to become all too real. Modern AU.
Romeo: *uses his sword to try to stop Mercutio and Tybaltās duel, kills Tybalt with his sword, threatens to kill himself with his dagger while using a gun metaphor, and uses a pick-axe and an iron crowbar to break open the Capulet crypt*
Also Romeo: *chooses poison instead of a dagger to kill himself*
Antis: Ah, yes, Romeo is super āØfeminineāØ to choose such a āØfeminineāØ way to die, because heās so āØfeminineāØ
Me: [to a mob with torches and pitchforks] The reason why I am so hard on you lot hating or ragging on Romeo while glazing Juliet is not just because I like the character personally. Itās because Romeo Hate Dumb is almost always either 1) a cover or 2) a pipeline to Juliet Hate Dumb. Because how can you claim to love Juliet and disdain or even hate her choice in partner? You know Juliet would hate you all for slandering the man she literally married, right? Homegirl literally cut off her own nurse just because she advised her to marry Paris instead (+ calling Romeo a dishrag after praising him for being so hot). Everything you accuse Romeo of beingāmoody, dramatic, whiny, hysterical, rash, obsessiveāJuliet is too. Homegirl is ready to crash out a momentās notice and does in fact crash out in several moments. Not to mention that she also threatens to kill herself twice, both in front of the Friar and in private just in case the sleeping potion doesn't work. You just accept these extreme behaviors for Juliet because she is a ~girl and ~girls be crazy like that. But Romeo is a MAN and must do MANLY things and be MANLY, like never having feelings ever. So no, itās not that you just like Juliet better than Romeo. Youāre also uncomfortable with Juliet. But you canāt really say it without sounding misogynistic and victim blame-y, so Romeo is a much easier target for your gender insecurities and hang-ups. Am I right or am I right?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
R&J Clown Takes Special EditionāTV Tropes, Again
Todayās clownery is brought to you by:
So much clownery packed into such a tiny paragraph. Letās go into it one by one, shall we?
āUtterly heartbrokenāā No, he isnāt. Romeo is gloomy, snarky, disaffected, and (Iād argue) lowkey pissed off. When offered a chance to see Rosaline at the party, Romeo almost goes back home instead because of a bad dream.
āHis one true love Rosaline has dumped himāā No, she didnāt, because they never dated. You canāt dump someone whom youāve never dated. Also, Rosaline never loved Romeo in any way, period. In fact, she has sworn never to have sex, ever.
āBeing very Hot-Bloodedāā If by this TV Tropes means rash or violent, this is false. At the beginning of the play, Romeo is the least violent and most passive character. Even Benvolio gets involved in the fighting, if just to try to stop it, whereas it is heavily implied Romeo keeps away from that mess altogether. We also hear from Capulet that Romeo has a good reputation as a āwell-governed youth.ā
āHe is 16, after allāā Romeoās age is never given in the play, so this number is not canon.
āIs too needy or in love with the idea of being in loveāā Possibly with Rosaline. Absolutely not with Juliet. And Iād argue that he isnāt even this for Rosaline, not completely. If so, then he would have been lowkey okay with Rosalineās rejection and taken it in a more measured way. As it was, homeboy was crying alone under sycamore trees at dawn and bitching about her chastity vow.
āSuch an interpretation is not popular because it destroys the notion that the play depicts love at its most idealāā This interpretation is not popular because it literally does not make sense given the canonical facts as we know them. The play frames his love for Rosaline and Juliet very differently, and once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
Facts About Shakespeareās Life Your English Classes Never Taught You
Because you lot really liked my Shakespeare Stole a Theatre heist post, lol. Shakespeareās plays>>his life, of course, but you do get some really cool bits that would make for interesting films all on their own. Hereās a rundown of other ā about Shakespeareās life that we absolutely know:
Shakespeare got a restraining order against him. It was one of those slap-in-the-wrist ones, and most likely he never got arrested, but the context behind it is absolutely unreal. The whole history is fascinating and lowkey crazy, so comment if you want me to cover it and do it full justice.
Shakespeare played matchmaker with his landlordās daughter. Just kidding, but it is honestly kind of close. He was actually a key witness to the betrothal (handfast) between his landlordās daughter Mary Montjoy and Stephen Belott, a fellow tenant. Shakespeare was asked by Maryās mother to persuade Stephen to marry Mary. Years later Shakespeare was called to testify in the court case between Belott and his landlord Montjoy, where he gave this weirdly unhelpful testimony. Anyway, thatās how we know this delicious ā
Actor Sir William Devenant claimed he was Shakespeareās illegitimate son. His parents were legit friends with Shakespeare, and he used to stay at their house in Oxford while on the way to London/Stratford. According to Devenant, Shakespeare had an affair with his mother Jane or Janet. We have no evidence that supports this claim, but Devanant did manage to convince many in his lifetime, including Alexander Pope.
Shakespeare wrote a Don Quixote play with John Fletcher! Itās a lost play, sadly, called Cardenio, but Lewis Theobald claimed to have found manuscripts in 1722 supposedly by Shakespeare and Fletcher and adapted it as the play Double Falsehood. He also claimed a nobleman told him that Shakespeare had written the play for his ānaturalā or illegitimate daughter. (Or perhaps legitimate daughter, since ānaturalā in Shakespeareās time meant legitimate).
We actually have Shakespeare speaking as himself in a play. James Shapiro caught this, shout out to him, but tl;dr Shakespeare actually gave a speech at the end of Henry IV Part 2 in front of the Queen at Whitehall Palace. Basically, he apologized for a play that was received badly (probably Merry Wives of Windsor or even Henry IV Part 1), expressed his hope they'd like this sequel much better, and beseeched them to keep on supporting him. The speech begins with āFirst, my fearā and ends with āto the Queen.ā It was even printed, but was confused with another separate epilogue as one whole speech. The best part of all this? This speech would have been given around the same time Shakespeare was planning the Theatre heist.
Shakespeareās brother Edmund was also an actor in London! He got a girl pregnant, and she gave birth to an illegitimate son, also called Edmund. Sadly, that boy died, and Edmund also died later that year in December, at 27. He was buried in Southwark, and someone paid for him to have the bells ring for his funeralāmost likely Shakespeare. š And yes, some scholars believe he may have even performed in Shakespeareās plays...perhaps the handsome villain Edmund from King Lear?
Shakespeareās daughter Susanna was accused of cheating on her husband and getting an STD. One John Lane was the asshole behind this slander, claiming that Susanna was having an affair with Ralph Sadler. Susanna took Lane to court to clear her name, and she won. #girlboss (Also fun fact: Ralph Sadler was the son of Hamlet Sadler, Shakespeareās friend and most likely the godfather to his son Hamlet. Yes, there was more than one Hamlet in Shakespeareās life.)
Shakespeareās daughter Judith married a guy who got another woman pregnant. His name was Thomas Quiney, and he was four years younger than Judith. Judith married him on February 10th, 1616 without the correct license, so they got sanctioned. In March, Thomas was summoned before the court, accused of fathering an illegitimate child with Margaret Wheeler; sadly, both mother and child died. Thomas was found guilty, but his sentence was mitigated considerably. Shakespeare looked at all this, said āNOPE,ā and died in April. Just kidding, Shakespeare reportedly died of a fever from drinking too much with Ben Jonson and Michael Drayton. But he begin to write his son-in-lawās name in his will, only to cross him out. Ouch.
