ctchmyskull

Laying on my back i feel my heart burning and crackling like popcorn

Every day it threatens to get louder.

One day it will raise high enough to break the firmament that binds it.

And the lines between above and below will become dotted and be relevant no longer.

That sound so dangerous

Like whales flirting with skyscrapers.

When it reaches it's peak

I see beetles crawl over children's toys.

We sit on narrow lakes of shimmer, deep as heavens pupils.

The color of twilight coals juxtaposing the hell I am afraid of, and the dirty red angry God im avoiding.

We sit on this lake and watch movies that dont ever start.

I can't see

Im tired

I cant sleep

I haven't learned how to trust that people care

I dont know how to trust that people care

Its not that im let down

I just don't know if im allowed to feel that way

How do i tell people what I want?

Why should I tell people what I want?

They should know i guess

I want people to care

But when it seems like they might

Batter me blind

I just wanna waste all your time

I'm just an asshole

I'm stuck in the past

My ptsd it keeps on holding me back

Fuck you

I hope you die

I hope you both die

If I could dig a deeper grave I'd thrash the fuck out of you

And bury your bones in the place they'll never find you

Its a treasure to me

Crucifix

Your double thumbs and stakes

I think that this might've been a mistake

I dont know all about you

And I dont fucking care

So fuck your

Aptitude in ordinary things

I wish that things had never changed

I fucked up and I messed up

All of my best years

My life and I

Have come to a series of walls

I've painted myself on them all

It depends on what you said to him

Cranberries taught me everything

I need to know

And I dont like the way

You feel like own me

And I dont know about this

Leave my crumbs for nothing

I know I could stay

But all my cells

Insist on dying

To the past with you

Past my own cause

I don't know it i can keep this going

Baby please dont tell me lies

I can see your lips and feelings

Even blind in both my eyes

I stay thinking there's no end to this

Some things just never die

I feel sorry for you bitches

Cuz you're running out of time

I could kill you where im standing

I see everything in twos

Set a fire where im standing

Keep my body black and blue

Writing songs about a feeling I just cant describe to you

Pissing a commotion

I could go in hiding

But id rather leave a note shit

I

Can't do all that you want from me

Waste of breath

Appealing as its supposed to be

I dont know

Who i believe in these days

I cant fucking see a thing

I think i need a closer

Eyes rotting in my head