You're Looking Lovely Like A Crystal

Skips:

Skips: Breathing?

Lux: Yes.

Lux: Ughh. Now my fans are spamming the lyrics of Emo Boy in chat and telling me how hot you are. I guess since my fans like you, we can date.

Skips:

-

Okay! You gave me a lot of creative liberty so I hope this was what you wanted???? You sound pretty excited so I hope I fulfilled your expectations

I’d imagine you to be into romance but more of like a job for you since being an object is like a job for a lot of the objects! In your personal life you’re more into botany and flower language y’know? But you don’t hate the holidays. Also, objects just seem to connect more when you’re in the room. Just your presence has gotten couples through a rough patch

Anyways, Dante is more of a hobbyist with matchmaking so you don’t really know him all that much

But he knows you! He’s your biggest fan!

He doesn’t talk to you unless you count freezing up whenever you say ‘hi’ to him (you say hi to every object but still!). You only come out during the holidays when you help Holly decorate for whatever holiday it is.

But around Christmas (sometimes Valentines), you usually stay with Mayor Celia and help her with problems in the house between objects since you’re pretty good at it

Dante is chill so he’s not exactly a regular customer of yours, so you don’t really care about him

Holly sees you as a younger sister (even though you act a lot more mature) and she doesn’t like giving you a lot of work so you don’t deliver flyers a lot

I think you’d probably meet Dante when you pry flyers out of Holly’s cold dead hands (her one hour nap you force her into) and deliver them!

Basically Dante just chilling talking to Evening (my homeowner oc) and you come out of nowhere, making Dante pause and heat up (lot of smoke coming out of him)

“Good afternoon, Dante. Homeowner,” you nod briefly at the woman before turning back to Dante, holding out your flyer, “Here’s a flyer. Holly is resting.”

and you introduce yourself to Evening and tell her to visit you soon and you leave

When you’re gone, Evening immediately asks Dante what was up and he explains that you are the best matchmaker in the entire house and basically lowkey fanboys over you

Evening meets you in your office in the attic and you two talk and bond and eventually they ask if you know Dante is a fan and you are confused because you don’t have fans

You meet Dante and ask him and he basically says yes and since he’s been through his arc, he asks if you could help him with his own matchmaking abilities

And you started talking to Dante and sort of treating him like a protégée then a friend

It’s a slow burn sorta like an anime that follows a usual pattern for the first season then changes the format of an episode in the second season (your friendship) then in the third season the real plot and drama happens (you two falling for each other)

Dante falls first and decides to tell you because he knows if you don’t accept you’d still see him and treat him as a friend and not allow the awkwardness to affect you two

But after he sort of gets time to feel his feelings and make sure he actually sees a long term relationship with you that is not based off of the celebrity status he gave you in his mind

During that time you fall for him and use the time to make sure he doesn’t put you on a pedestal.

Dante confesses first and you two talk about it before agreeing

So, now for the fluff!

He follows you and Mayor Celia during Christmas and Valentines

He’s basically the emotional support because you might not show it but it really tires you out keeping the peace between objects and Dante is pretty observant and can tell when you want to snap Dirk’s neck from just the fact that your smile is a bit too wide

He sort of just stands closer to you so you can feel his body heat and be reassured that he’s there or he links pinkies with you or holds your hand if it’s with objects you both are close with

Then after he tells you, “You’re doing great.”

Then he still finds time to make a candlelight dinner for Valentine’s or a sappy Holiday movie

Dante is friends with Holly so she loves that you two are together!

She sometimes feels a bit lonelier because you two were together a lot but she understands that Dante being around doesn’t change much between you too

Holly wasn’t the Number One shipper (*cough* Florence *cough*) but she was very happy when you got together

Shes always teasing you both when she sees you two and Dante usually joins forces with her to make you flustered or atleast as flustered as you can be

Dante double checks over-the-top gifts with Holly. He’s really good at gift giving but sometimes there are just gifts that he needs a second opinion on

Dante remembers a lot so if you are forgetful of your schedule, he can sometimes help out by connecting it back to a conversation you two had

“You did tell me you were starting to hate dices because Parker was forcing you to roll them yesterday. Maybe you had an appointment with him?”

You aren’t very festive because the holidays are basically more work for you but he is! He’ll get matching sweaters and Christmas Lights and everything

When you both are human, he WILL decorate wherever you live in with loads of lights!

Making Gingerbread houses together or with friends is something he’d love to do every Christmas

Really sad when he’s not your Secret Santa like, NOTICEABLY sad. He doesn’t frown deeply or anything because chances are he still got a friend but there’s this look in his eye

One look at him and everyone knows he’s not your secret Santa

Will just light up if you are his secret Santa though

He can tell, don’t even bother lying

The moment he gets the gift his eyes are immediately on you, but he’ll just play along

Probably say something like “You were my secret Santa? That’s kind of cheating since the only present I want for Christmas is you.” just in a much more smooth way

Dante will ask Hector to lower the temperature just so you can be closer to him

Kinda obvious about it and will stutter just a bit if you bring it up

Jokes how he can kiss you anywhere (with consent of course) since you are a mistletoe

You’re pretty much plastic since the actual mistletoe is kinda poisonous but your plastic is of good quality still you can get cautious when being too close to Dante and he respects that

In fact, he’s the first to pull away when he feels he’s been too close to you for too long

If you are bad at giving gifts, I think he’d appreciate anything you spent time on. But if you have a funny story behind it he’d love to hear it! If the gift is even remotely related to something that reminded you of him or both of you, he’ll tear up

I feel like he’s one of those people who just want you to try and remember things or just put an effort, because Dante loves loving you but he also wants to feel loved

He’s very understanding, though and if you are forgetful or have memory problems, he’ll make sure to remind you of the event a few days before it starts and even add it to your calendar for you

(You just love rage baiting them, what can I say? Also, I’m not good at shade the way Curt and Rod do it. I can be a bit meaner/focus more on implied insults, so yeah. But let’s just assume bc they hate you their shade is shadier or something)

-

The worst day of your life?? It had to be when Homeowner (let’s call them Evening) bought those old fashioned curtains from a stupid store.

They put them EVERYWHERE!! Except the Bathrooms (which, why not?? Why didn’t they take you out of your misery?), the attic and the office. BUT the moment you started missing out on Daisuke, Miranda, Kopi and Cabrizzio’s morning greetings, you know it was war. Like, serious war.

“They are actually quite nice, ami.” Cabrizzio would say to calm you down, but you’d only huff and roll your eyes.

They were annoying, simply put it. They argued, they insulted people outside and most importantly, they were friends with Wyndolyn. And you’re pretty sure the red one (you never cared to remember which was which) has a thing for her, which was 1. Cringe and 2. Cringe.

And what was even more preposterous was the fact that you could only shit talk them with Lux, Tina, Scandelabra, Rebel and Bathsheba. Which were pretty much the go to objects to talk shit about ANYONE with. Like you talk shit about them and you are pretty sure they talk shit about you, too.

Wyndolyn liked them. Cabrizzio liked them. Miranda thought they were lively. Even Evening’s friend said that they looked cool, which just made the blue one’s head swell even more.

The only other object you could talk shit about them with was an in animal.

Sprite.

Mateo once said that you two were too alike and that he’d hate to be on you two’s bad side. You, personally, thought you were nothing like her, but she was still fun to be around with. She’d curl up on your lap, come over to sunbathe or randomly decide to play with your pull cord. And you’d go on a rant about whatever met your interest lately until she felt like it was time to go.

Ever since you’ve started talking about Curt and Rod, she’s been ‘taking breaks’. She’ll leave after a few minutes, come back in a few more and then sit on your lap like nothing happened.

Today, you decided to follow her. Maybe see if she had a fedora and an OWCA.

But what you saw was A LOT more satisfying.

“SPRITE! QUIT IT!”

“Bad cat! No clawing at Curt!”

Aww, she came here to claw at the curtains.

You placed a hand on your chest as you teared up, looking like a parent at their kid’s graduation, “Aww, Sprite! You do listen!”

At the sound of your voice, all three faced you. The two objects curious and Sprite looking like you’d caught her defeating an evil scientist.

“Uhh…who are you?”

You ignored the question, kneeling down and extending your hand. Once Sprite seemed that you were on her side, she slowly walked over to you and licked the tip of your finger.

“Who’s gonna get so many cat treats? You are! Such a smart girl!”

“Are they being serious right now?”

Sprite purred, playing with the pull cord integrated in your outfit, as you faced the men.

“I’m the blinds. Back when the homeowner didn’t pick up charity cases, I was in the living room!” The smile you adorned was faker than a good quarter of Lux’s followers.

“Charity case?! I know a monochromatic blind isn’t talking about charity cases when you’re busy glooming up the entire house!” Bluey bit back pretty quickly.

“They’d be no room for my so called ‘gloom’ cause your ego occupies so much space!” But you bit back sharper.

Little Red Riding Hood clapped back, though, “With you around, anyone would feel better about themselves. You out here getting a cat to do your dirty work.”

Sprite hissed at her mention, wanting to spring at Red, but you held her back, scooping her into your arms. She, thankfully, didn’t scratch your arms, she just stayed there, glaring at the two objects.

“I never told the cat to scratch you up. But if you ask me, I think it’s an opportunity for your friend to to get their crooked stitches fixed.”

“MY STITCHES ARE NOT CROOKED!”

“Don’t get mad. Cheap things are often of lower quality.”

“You’re made out of fucking plastic.”

“ONLY SOME OF ME YOU ASSHOLE!”

And the fight went on for an hour or so until Mateo finally showed up to pick up Sprite and apologize, but you wouldn't let him apologize, because he had nothing to do with anything. Mateo still felt bad, so you sucked up all your pride and apologized to Curt and Rod.

“I am sorry that Sprite thinks you are a waste of space.”

Mateo looked horrified, so you quickly backtracked with a forced smile. “Heh. Just kidding. I’m sorry that…I might’ve instigated Sprite tearing you up.”

Bluey raised an eyebrow, “Instigated?”

You frowned, your eyebrows knitting together, “Sorry, I’ll use smaller words next time.”

Rod had to hold Curt back, “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

Mateo quietly walked away with Sprite in his arms.

-

Ever since that day, the two had been bugging you a lot more. Mostly to return Sprite. Sometimes, you would pass by them, but the most either party would do is fake smile at each other before gagging when the other turns away.

Soon, everyone know that you were at each other’s throats. Maybe because for Secret Santa, you got Rod mouthwash with a doodle of Wyndolyn and him kissing and he immediately threw the mouthwash at you.

You made sure to catch the look on his face on camera.

Now, anytime you need to laugh, you pull out the photo and erupt into a fit of giggles.

Still, it’s not like you actually hated them. You just wanted them gone. Like GONE. Never seeing them again gone. You being back to number one window shield gone. Yeah, despite Reggie appearing every time you interacted with them with popcorn, you didn’t hate them.

And at some point, you think they liked having you around. In a weird "Shit would be soooo boring without them way".

Anyways, timeskip to the future and you are talking to a living breathing human and they are answering back.

Yes, you admit it, you kinda were a suck up.

But Evening had the power to kick Curt and Rod out and bring you back to your rightful position! This opportunity was presented to you on a gold platter and you didn't have to be Mitchell Linn to see the value.

Unfortunately, Evening caught on fast.

"You beefing with Curt and Rod or something?"

Before you could even answer, Wyndolyn butted in, "Since those two came, they've had beef. It's kinda funny to watch them go at it." She made a poor attempt of hiding her smirk.

You glared at her and she laughed before leaving you two alone, once more.

"Have you talked to them?"

"Yeah! We're friends! They are really nice when you get to know them and--"

You stopped listening at 'friends'.

If they were friends, that means that they've already beat you to it. They've won. You are going to become more and more irrelevant. And when objects become irrelevant, they go to the crawlspace, unaable to interact with other objects. Wyndolyn, Cabrizzo, Kopi, everyone will never see you again.

Would they even care?

You'd be irrelevant. Just taking up space.

"I need some time to think," you cut Evening off, raising your hand.

She seemed a bit surprised, but it soon melted to concern, "Are you okay?"

You turned away from them, "Leave."

At least she was nice enough to walk away.

But the next time she'd come, it'd probably to remove you.

Sometimes, you felt like you weren't supposed to exist, like Curt and Rod were better. Like the shutters on the other house was better. They were all aesthetic, pleasing and you were just white, black, brown and grey. An eyesore.

You brought your fingers to your cheeks when you felt something hot on them. You rubbed at your eyes till they were raw and probably red, before you got up and decided to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Before your inevitable uselessness, you had to congratulate the curtains.

They won fair and fucking square.

-

Curt and Rod had a sixth sense when it came to you. You kind of felt like disappointment and annoyance.

They didn't even need to turn back to know that you were glaring daggers at them. Still, you never just STOOD there. You'd glare at them for like a second before moving on.

"Are they still staring?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, this is weird. I'm going to ask them why they're doing that."

"What? No! What if it's a trap or something?"

"I don't care, dude. This is getting weird as hell."

Rod was the first to turn around to actually meet you face to face. And your face was...not exactly the face he'd been expecting to see.

You looked frustrated and satisfied, which was interesting, to say the least.

"Why are you staring at us, man? Thought being gloomy wasn't enough, now you've gotta be creepy, too?"

Curt turned back, immediately ready to defend his friend when you snapped back, but you didn't.

"Just looking at the faces of the winners, obviously. Want to remember you before I'm removed," You angled your hands like a frame around them, closing one eye to better focus, "Could you two smile? I know you're hiding shit-eating grins cause you won. I won't punch you in the face, so just show them to me."

The gibberish you were sprouting was pretty on brand, but removed? Why would Evening remove you. They've talked to Rebel and they're still quacking it up in the bathroom? Besides, you were pretty nice to literally everyone but them, so how did the homeowner even see you in a negative light?

"What are you talking about?" Curt asked, "Win what? And why is Evening removing you?" They didn't know if it was concern or curiosity that made him ask, but whatever he was feeling didn't make him dwell on that too long.

A sigh left your lips as you jutted them out, brows dropping jut over your eyes, "Stop acting dumb. I know you wanted this."

"Wanted you to make Sprite stop scratching up Curt and stop acting like you want us dead? Yes. Wanting you removed? That's a bit of a stretch," Rod was a lot more guarded as he spoke, eyeing you up and down to try and decipher what you were feeling.

They'd never seen you cry. Just angry or faking a smile. It was unnerving and uncomfortable seeing you look so broken.

"I don't tell Sprite to scratch you up!" the brief snicker you let out sounded strained, "She does it of her own volition."

"You feed her snacks everytime she does it!"

"I shouldn't feed a starving cat?"

"Why do you keep twisting my words?!"

You laughed.

It was less mockingly and dare they say it, fondly.

"Please don't tell anyone that I'm getting removed. 'kay?"

And you left.

"Did they just say please?"

Okay, now they had to talk to Evening.

-

"Hey, Evening! Come over for a second."

They still dragged her over to the windows with grim faces.

They weren't worried about you. I mean, you wanted them gone. They were more worried about what you leaving meant. You were close to a lot of objects they were close with and they knew that your absence would mean a lot to them (even though they couldn't see the appeal).

"Sooo, are you thinking of doing some renovations in the house?" Curt immediately started.

"Curt!" Rod facepalmed, "We are supposed to ease into the subject!"

Evening cocked an eyebrow, "What subject are you easing me into?"

The two friends shared a look, mentally arguing about something for a quick moment, before Rod finally conceded and cleared his throat.

"Your Monochromatic Monologuing Blinds over there thinks you're going to trash them, basically."

"WHAT?!"

-

Okay, so after a conversation with the Homeowner on how she would never have you removed, you felt a bit lighter.

It was like no matter how bad you performed, you were guaranteed a position. And it was comforting. Like a heavy blanket. Something they said caught your attention, specifically.

"When Curt and Rod told me about this, I thought they were joking."

Curt and Rod?

Weren't they the ones that told the Homeowner to get rid of you? Why would they--

They didn't actually want you gone. Okay, no, that was on your narcissism. It was pretty self centered to think those two befriended the human just to get you kicked out and it was also pretty self centered for you to want to do the same thing.

So, you went to go and meet them, again. This time with gifs, instead of insults.

"I'm sorry for being...a bit mean towards you," You told the two that were buried under a pile of gift baskets and boxes, "Something, something, therapy. And I just realized that I was a huge jerk. I probably knew it all along, though, but I'm still sorry and you don't have to forgive me."

When Rod dug to the surface of the pile, he deadpanned atg you, "Mean and jerk doesn't even BEGIN to describe--"

"Rod! They got you a signed cd of that new thriller that just came out!"

"...Apology noted."

Reggie's schedule drastically changed after that.

You didn't become friends, immediately, but the shade you threw became a lot less mean and more friendly. You'd even sometimes laugh at their jokes and they'd playfully rib you any chance they got. Sometimes, you'd get on each other's nerves and get into a fight but as time went on, the fights were less frequent.

The effort you made to be their friend was partially to make everyone comfortable with bringing you three together to an event (you didn't notice how many plans Celia made to avoid you seeing Curt and Rod and fighting them) and partially because they were kind of fun to hang around with.

Not to mention that they were amazing gossip/shit talking partners. They listened to every scandalous news you'd gotten, which was even better because you had different perspectives! Usually, they'd only have a few, but you went way back with a good chunk of the objects so you had a lot of different perspectives to add on top of each other. While Wyndolyn would theorize about the truth, Curt and Rod would crack jokes about all of it and sometimes even throw shade at the parties involved.

These days, Sprite even stopped scratching Curt up. Sure, she'd screech at him if he ever bothered to touch her, but she stopped seeking him out and just laid on your lap as you ranted to the other two objects.

You grew fond of them, actually. And you like to think they grew fond of you too.

Or maybe they didn't.

-

What does it mean to be human?

To breathe air? To have empathy? To have unlimited wants and balanced them with your very limited resources? To understand the complexities and the horrors of such a burden?

One by one, all your friends went out into the real world tofind their own meaning, their own definition.

They achieved amazing feats you all could've only dreamt of. Starting shops, businesses, entire movements, everyone was flying and dreaming bigger than the house ever let them.

You were one of the earlier objects to be realized. Coupled with that and you visiting Evening thrice almost every month, you gained the phone numbers of those who came after you. Your phone always had a notification to be answered, a call missed or a voicemail sent.

Except from Curt and Rod, who'd you found yourself thinking about more often.

They got realized before you. So, you don't really know their phone numbers but even when Evening offered to give them to you, it made you cringe and decline.

They would be better off just forgetting you, after all.

Yeah, you definitely weren't trying to run away from the newfound feelings that grew with the time you spent apart. Washford told you that absense only akes the heart grow fonder and that the best thing to do is just 'be with your beloved'.

Well, 1. Drysdale came to passionately make out with him after, which was eww. 2. You don't really think you want to damage your relationship with them like that. It was better for you to be distant but still have relatively good memories than be distant and them remembering you as a cringe playground bully that had a crush on them and major inferiority complex. 3. Burdening the people you'd been the meanest to just felt like more cruelty. Why would they even want to see you?

It was a good thing you were just a screenwriter and not in the comedy business!

One day, Amir, Betty and Evening ganged up on you a Hollywood award ceremony or whatever, saying it was good for you to go since you were nominated. You hated those things and would claim to be too sick to attend. Regardless of your nomination and sometimes winning of a prize.

This year, though, they didn't let you bail. They pulled Wyndolyn into the mix and you could never say no to her, so you told them you would come.

Unfortunately, it was like the universe didn't want you to go. Traffic was hell, a bird pooped on your outfit so you had to buy a new one, only to realize that your hair looked wrong, so you had to quickly style it in the bathroom.

By the time you finally made it into the building, you saw Betty, Homewoner, Amir and Wyndolyn sitting down, an empty seat nex to them. Before you could take a step closer, next to the open sseat, you spotted two very familiar faces whispering and giiggling with each other.

Oh, now you get it.

But I drew more Curt :(( I'm sorry Rod, but your hair is too complicated 4 meeee (<- I literally gave the female version of him braids which is even MORE complicated for me)

Wanted to draw the Foyer Gang (+Maricela) as Scooby Doo Halloween Costumes

Wyndolyn as Velma cause she got the third pick (they drew straws :( bc her, Dorian and Rod were arguing over who'd get Fred). She thinks Velma is adorable

Dorian was the first to pick and he picked Fred, mainly bc he'd always making traps.

Rod was the second to pick and chose Shaggy cause it was only Daphne, Scooby, Velma and Shaggy remaining. Lowkey regrets nothing cause Shaggy is such a mood. Just a chill dude who loves food and his best bud.

Maricela was the fourth to pick and she chose Daphne because she was pissed off at Curt for something. Honestly, I don't think she would've minded being Scooby (especially cause Curt wanted to be Daphne so much) but when she's pissed, she's pissed

Curt got Scooby, so he got the dog costume and Rod and Maricela never make him forget. Wyndolyn has never laughed more in her life. Even Dorian chuckles sometimes. Rod and Mari are offically dead to Curt.

Aww. Thank you!! And of course you can! It was based off a dream I had a couple years ago about something ENTIRELY unrelated from Date Everything, and a fusion of the two hyperfixations just came to me at 3am! I’m glad you like it!

Yay, you can date everything

There was that easy friendship with Dorian that made you smile and talk to him every morning because he was just comfort incarnate for you. He tried acting gruff, but you knew he appreciated the effort

It was talking with other objects that made everything entirely worse

You knew better, now let’s not pretend like you are a child who isn’t somewhat responsible for certain things

You knew what you were doing when you called G&G a horrible game for nerds despite you used to love playing it when you were in college

Chance called you out on it, trying to reason, but you wouldn’t let him.

“You’re a grown ma—er dice, so why don’t you find an actual passion?”

Straight hate ending on the first try

Curt and Rod really pissed you off

They had a friendship that you would never experience. Not again. Not after them.

Maybe the burning heat on your head was pure jealousy, maybe it was pure rage but it always gave you a headache around them

So, you didn’t even bother with them

Insulting their friendship really got them angry and you held that hate ending like a badge of fucking honor

Dante was just as easy to hate and be hated by. He was just too nice, too kind, too open and reminded you of someone who’d cut you off a long time ago. Something about how you never helped yourself and how they really wished you would but their mental health shouldn’t be the collateral damage

Weak people type shit, you know?

You made it extremely clear in the beginning that you hated connection and just wanted a quick fuck or something. Honestly, Dante wouldn’t have cared, but then you took it a step further saying that you were just here to get hate endings with everyone

And Dante couldn’t describe what you were doing, but that confident grin you tried flashing him never truly seemed confident

It looked like a cry for help and the at same time, it screamed to leave you alone

Dante just gave you what you wanted. A hate ending. It was then that your smile changed. It turned bittersweet but that was the most genuine he’d seen you seen you’d met.

You didn’t even try with Lux.

Instant hate ending and them calling you a ‘dimmy’ which was the most accurate nickname you’ve been given

It was truly easy to get everyone to hate you.

Even Reggie was pretty easy.

He came in proud of you every single time, even gave you his app, gave you tips, really encouraged the hatred in your heart

But his smile

It reminded you of someone

And that was the only reason

That was all you needed to flush that relationship down the drain.

“Damn, you make hatred look boring. You don’t even try, anymore. You just go for the quickest route. You don’t hate for the love of the game. You hate them because it’s like you want to be hated.”

That was his words if wisdom before he parted with you

Just Skylar and Dorian remaining.

Skylar asked you if that was what you truly wanted, you said yes

She bit her lip

“You had a whole house of objects to pretend to be someone who gave a damn! You could’ve brought in so much love! But—But I guess hurt people just hurt people, huh? Good to know.”

Next was Dorian

He refused

Blatantly

Didn’t even listen to you

You screamed at him, but he didn’t move.

You wanted a reaction, you wanted something, so you screamed louder and then you saw him flinch

That flinch reminded you of someone, too

Of yourself

You left for a walk and never came back

Sam knocked on the door a few weeks later, before breaking down on the dusty floor after seeing a picture of you

Sam, despite not understanding, apologized to every object on your behalf

Every single object

It was an odd text to send her, but I guess just saying ‘bye’ out of the blue was also a weird text

It when she’s looking for the last object, a pair of aviator glasses does she really understand what you couldn’t see even with the glasses

UMMM HELLO???

tyyyy lovely

Why is it specific? Idk, man

So, the first thing you told Dante was "Finally." (Iykyk) and he was so confused and asked you what you meant but you never told him.

He offers to give you advice on how to get a date and you just say yes because why not? You aren't exactly serious about love but if a (soon-to-be) friend is then why not?

Dante figures out one amazing thing about you. You are great with connecting with people. Like, SUPERB.

But...romance-wise, you tend to put yourself in the friendzone

And it doesn't bug him at first, cause it's not like you're degrading yourself, but you're just hyperaware of boundaries YOU set up thinking it's better for the other person

But the amount of objects falling for you and him hinting at it only to recieve a "What? No. We are just really good friends." is just stupid.

Dante also sees you as a really good (sometimes annoying) friend.

He will never forget the time you said, "I've got sass coming out of my ass."

Sometimes he's up at 3am thinking about what possessed you to say that

Speaking of which, he's up thinking about you often

Huh

He wonders why

Dante: *just minding his own business* Feelings: *sneak attack* Dante: AHHHHHHH

He falls first. And he falls hard.

Unrequited love shenanigans

Now he knows how it feels for the other objects

Your stupid jokes make him laugh, your smile makes him smile, your hugs make him smoke and he just wants to be around you, even when you're getting into trouble

So, this is when the predicament starts

He tries to use his lessons on you

Which is difficult because the delulu is strong as fuck

"Oh. I love that movie. It's fire." "Me too, but I forgot how it ends..." "We could watch it together this weekend?" "Ooh! I could ask Telly how it ends!"

Dante is so close in getting on his knees and begging for you to at least acknowledge his feelings

Time for the test and you ace it! Yay!

But like seriously, you actually make Dante feel like you might actually have feelings for him. Until you ask him "Did I ace the test?" with that goofy smile of yours that he really wants to kiss.

He finally confesses straight up in the way he did in the game and you are just there, jaw DROPPED

"I was the true Zuko all along!" "What."

You both undergo this really foreign technique called 'Communication' and it actually works out!!

Yayyy!!

You have a hard time calling Dante your boyfriend

Why??? CAUSE HE'S SO PERFECT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HE ISN'T JUST THE ILLUSIONS OF YOUR INNER 16 YEAR OLD FANFIC WRITER

Nice boy swag fr fr

You love doing so many things with Dante

One of them is making fire puns

You are both on a tie but it's very closely matched

Dante probably has a list of cute couple things he'd like to do with you in his head and anytime the opportunity presents itself, he does it with you

Once, he offered you shared a plate of spaghetti with him and was really upset when you were both done eating it

When you asked him why, he was too embarrassed to tell you

If you're not as tall as him, even by just a few cm, expect him to use ANY opportunity to carry you up or reach high shelves (even though he would also need to be on his tippy-toes or on a stool to reach said high places)

If you're taller than him, he doesn't mind. He always goes to you first to help him reach a spot on the shelf. If you're busy, he understands and will just get a ladder or something

You two never go to bed angry. Like, NEVER.

Dante is an overthinker when it comes to you, cause i don't think he's had many if any relationships, so sometimes he'd cringe at something he said to you even though it still made you laugh

You'd just be sleeping on your bed and Dante knocks on your door and begs you to talk it out

If you two live together when he's realized, telling Dante to sleep on the couch is like shoving a stake in a vampire's heart

He'd be dead by morning /jk

You used to try couple pranks on Dante but his reactions would range from playing along (when it was very obvious that it was a prank) to genuinely crying (for something like 'Text your boyfriend that you're breaking up') and now you stop all the mean ones

Asking get you an orange would be him peeling it and making it's slices into a heart <3

"I'm glad you received my letter." "Of course. It sounded serious. Is everything okay?" "I just wanted to tell you...I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!!" "..." "Uh...thank you?" "YOU DON'T LIKE ME BACK?!?!?" "I DO I SWEAR!! But I thought it was obvious because I texted you that I loved you this morning and you texted me that you loved me too??" *rolls eyes* "Love is different than having a crush!"

Call him things like 'my love', 'my darling', 'my heart' and he would MELT

The 'my' makes it feel like 500% more intimate to him

I know Dante is smooth and all, but like he's also a bit inexperienced with romantic feelings. Like, he knows how to maintain a healthy relationship in theory, but in practice, a lot of external factors he never considered play bigger of a role than he anticipated

Still, I don't think he'd allow Telenovela type misunderstandings

He is VERY open to your culture

Food, fashion, you name it, he will try it at least five times

Will research about it and will learn a bit of your language behind your back to impress you

If you offer to teach him, he will be so excited

Looks at you with a lovesick grin as you speak your language fluently/the best of your abilities. Even if it's something really mundane you are saying.

You know those reddit posts about how their husband stopped openly loving them like buying them flowers/saying they love them/kissing passionately as they got older? Yeah, no. Dramatic love gestures is part of the brand with Dante!

If you feel insecure, he'll tell you all the great things he loves about you and will just sit there and listen to you rant

If you have/are in contact with your parents, he would be super nervous to meet them but also very happy because YAY!! You're being serious about the relationship, but he could really mess this up if he doesn't lock in

Smooth like butter

His pick-up lines are a lethal weapon that ALWAYS catches you by surprise.

*you totally stole his jacket* "Why would you think I stole it?? Are you calling me a thief?" "Well, you did steal my heart and you do have a habit of taking my breath away."

If you steal his clothes, he doesn't mind, btw. Rarely asks for them back if it's not his jackets.

Will steal your sweatpants (if you have any and if it can fit him) don't ask me why but I can picture it. Also, he WILL pick the outfit with the most girly-aesthetic. Like a cheetah print tanktop or pink barbie sweatpants. Mostly because he likes seeing you laugh but also cause he lowkey thinks they rock

He is the KING of punny t-shirts. Mostly it's about fire but he has a lot of other ones

If you need a pun on a shirt, just go to him.

Dante is basically a free couples' counselor but his real job is probably music related. Maybe he plays drums or guitar in a band

Might also be a substitute music teacher

Dante is chill with or without kids. I don't think he has a strong opinion.

If you are AFAB and on your period, he WILL do anything he can to make you feel comfortable. If you have mood swings during that time, it will REALLY hurt Dante, even though he KNOWS you don't mean it :(

Random thing, but I think he watched Teen Titans and lowkey related to Cyborg a lot

His favorite day is your anniversary!

Stays up like it's a national holiday smh

"Happy anniversary!!" "Dante, it's 11:59 pm." "Crap. One minute early. Sorry."