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so do any other artists go thru the thought process of "i can't read the compliment that i know is there bc i can see the notif, i have to prep myself to even read it, i have to make sure to construct an appropriate reply in my notepad, i'll ignore it for at least 5 mins to several hours just to make sure i don't seem like i'm a sex offender(?????), i'll go do something else in the meantime and pretend to be offline so they know i'm normal and have manners and am not a danger to myself nor others" or is it just me

WHICH IS TO SAY. i love and appreciate compliments, they genuinely keep me going. it's just the process of perceiving them and acknowledging them was completely warped into the image of a cardinal sin bc i was seeing online art discourse since i was 12

so much of monogatari especially the og novels is just the author ranting abt random shit and the topics being vaguely related to the overarching theme and plot is his excuse to put in so much stuff for characters to talk abt in the most detached-from-reality witty way possible. it makes them entertainingly unrealistic people simultaneous to their representation of human nature. like rn he just spent 3+ pages of back-and-forth character dialogue commenting on and criticizing the animanga industry and digitalization bc the overall story is abt confronting the past and moving forward. i guess. it's the sort of shit youd overhear escalating as two autistics speak to one another but at the speed and presentation of a scripted act. it's what im almost convinced are the author's notepad entries that went unused as tweets bc they were too long. it's entertaining to read at times but after abandoning the series for a few years (for how much more unbearable its proud and conscious adoption of shitty mainstream tropes were the older i got) i can tell that most media doesnt do this shit. it's the charm of this series and also the thing that gets a chunk of people to drop it asap

check this out i'm playing bad apple in your imagination

reblog to play bad apple on your mutuals