CryptidCrybabies

yay! time for another giveaway! I’ve been so busy, with no time to make new stuff, but still have a few mothman patches and keychains to give away!

Mothman!

Your a moth and a man

I said

MOTHMAN

MOTHMAN!

your pretty wings are so soft

when you 

flap

against

my

There’s no need for a frown

I said

MOTHMAN

Put that man on the ground

He’s so

FRIGHTENED

So high up in the air

Won’t you

Please

Put

Him

Down

M

O

T

H

THE MAN WHO’S ALSO A

M

O

T

me: shit it’s full moon i forgot

Listen up y’all, I’ve got some quality tips for all you havoc-wreaking kids after my own heart

Have you ever wondered what an amusement park in chaos looked like? Looking for a new prank to play on your tight-ass great aunt Bertha? Just into some weird shit? Have I got the tools for you. May I introduce you to…bum bum bum, pun entirely intended…this little beauty?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. I can just hear it. Is that what I fucking think it is? Oh, you bet your ass it is. Was that a fucking pun, Ronnie? Bitch it might be. 

For those more pure at heart who might not know what this is, I admire you, and I’m sorry, but I’m about to ruin that for you. That’s an enema kit.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not asking you to shove this bad boy up your ass in public and bask the chaos that ensues. No, my young apprentice, as effective as that might be, it pales in comparison to the raving, dick-waving, white-women-fainting mayhem to be had with the suggestion that everyone else do it.

Let me explain.

I work as a security guard at the above mentioned amusement park, and I’ve got to say that trying to diffuse the chaos this prank has created was a nightmare. 

I remember I was stuck trying to prevent this middle aged mother from Wisconsin from ripping my head off– as if I had been responsible for the indecent this ^^^^ created. some of us are just trying to work here, and do not need a punk pulling shit like this, and causing a frenzy. 

plz if you’re going to pull pranks on white, hetero-normative, racist, homophobic, classist, and ignorant powers that be,– which I’m all for– make sure the little guy doesn’t get bit in the but as well

rant over

I am deeply sorry for my friends actions. I can not express my disappointment in my friend for her actions. I couldn't have stopped her once I saw the kit but I didn't want to. At this point I've just excepted that here shenanigans are just unavoidably at this point. There's no stopping her, she is too powerful.

She use to put all my shit on the roof when we were roomates; my crystal ball, tarot cards, Ouija board, anime figurines, and even my cryptozoology journal I spend years working on. All of it! On the fucking roof for those damn dirty crows to steal and shit on!

(Don't even get me started on the Museum incident with our other friend)

While I don't condone her actions, it was pretty fucking funny though. I honestly would pay money to see it again. So sorry or whatever.

Sincerely, disappointed yet weirdly proud