psa; controlling your muse.
This is long, but please read.
outofchara; This is something that has bothered me for a long time, since perhaps I first started roleplaying, and I’ve decided to bring light to the subject as I know a few mutual’s have encountered this problem but have either been too anxious to defend their preferences, or haven’t been around long enough to know better;
I respect that everyone has a different relationship with their muse than others. Some, like myself, identify with their muse and others just enjoy the character and wish to bring them to life. There are also some, who believe that they can not control the actions of their muse, as if the muse is a person of their own free will, or their device that is used to participate in interactions, (such as tablets, computers, etc) has a mind of it’s own and writes what it pleases. These are all fine, except when it is used in a way to manipulate another or make an excuse for wanting to disregard another roleplayers preference.
I have been in a situation when a mun, on multiple occasions, used the excuse of “I can’t control my muse’s actions”, to get away with sexually harassing my muse, and then myself (by the muse and the mun).
I understand that people roleplay many different things, as they wish to explore different writing styles and topics with others or wish to go “all out”. This can be with platonic and romantic fluff, smut, horror, angst, etc; you name it. I also understand that triggers such as rape and abuse are also something that people like to interpret into their threads. However;
Do not use the excuse; “I can not control the actions of my muse” to disregard someone who has triggers or is not open to such topics. It is a form of manipulation.
In my eyes, it is bullshit that you can’t restrain the actions of your muse, or can’t be held responsible for what they do. Especially if it’s applied to one verse only. You can’t decide when or when your muse can or can not be disciplined, due to when it may or may not be beneficial to you. You do not get to “control your muse” for all safe for work verses, and then suddenly no longer be able to guarantee what your muse might or might not do, for dark verses with adult themes and triggers. If you can’t control your muse in a dark/nsfw/horror based verse, as some people claim, then what’s to stop you from being unable to control your muse in sfw/fluffy/platonic verses? If you muse will rape, torture or abuse mine in one verse, due to being unable to be contained, what’s to stop your muse from making mine–and myself–uncomfortable in all other verses, and completely disregard all my other preferences and triggers? None.
You are free to have whichever relationship you want with your muse. However, when it comes to serious topics and triggers, most which are nsfw, you need to be realistic and abandon that belief, for the well being of another. It’s mutual respect, and we are all entitled to it. Not all people know better and know they are within their rights to drop interactions or defend their preferences, and your arrogance could damage them. It’s not worth it.
There is no topic in any thread that is a necessary or required to be explored. You do not have to include rape, torture, horror, smut, and any and all adult and nsfw themes. If you do wish to explore these topics, find someone who shares your same desires and who is trigger free; believe me, they exist. It is not worth harming, damaging or upsetting another member of the roleplay community because they do not wish to participate in one, or multiple, themes and topics. Just cut your losses, accept what you can have to work with, and/or move on.
For anyone who has experienced this, or is in this situation, know that you are not obligated to interact with anyone you do not wish to, or participate in any topics and themes that you are uncomfortable with. You are entitled to defend your preference and to keep yourself safe and healthy. Anyone who pressures you, or manipulates you into doing things like this (and not all manipulation can be detected at first hand), is not worth it. Find someone else who will respect you and your muses. If you are uncomfortable, know you are free from obligation. If you are too anxious to say something or do not like conflict, and/or are fearful of what the other mun might do, contact a friend or mutual partner who can handle the situation for you. I, myself, am willing to defend a fellow member of the roleplay community from situations like this, and I know others who are willing to, as well.
For anyone who has the relationship with their muse of a free will basis, respect the fact that that excuse/belief, is not acceptable or valid to be used when handling adult themes, topics and triggers, and do not use it to manipulate another member of the community.
