corn flaek

the nature of humanity is that friend groups in public being very loud is obnoxious and annoying and need to be more mindful of others but my friend group in public being loud is joyful and lively and everyone giving us looks is a miserable friendless Grinch that needs to appreciate life

stop being pretentious in the notes and acting like you've never been annoyed by the same behavior u exhibit with your friends <3 nature of humanity is that we're all simultaneously the loud children in the street AND the grumpy annoyed old man who doesn't return footballs

nature of humanity is that we're all big fat hypocrites! thank you

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

Born to float ominously in a tube of green goo in a mad scientist's lab hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes of indeterminate purpose forced to submit job applications through indeed

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making