life lesson: when to cut someone off
If you’re ever involved with someone who acts dismissive every time you try to talk to them about your feelings about what’s bothering you in the relationship (this includes all types of relationships including friendships), cut this person out of your life.
Examples of dismissive behavior:
The person becomes ultra-defensive and tries to turn your feelings against you as if you’re the one to blame
The person responds with sarcasm and/or tries to make a joke out of your feelings
The person reframes what you’re expressing in a way that suggests you are being immature/needy/crazy/overly emotional
The person flat out changes the topic or tries to cut the conversation short
If this person isn’t willing to hear you out with an understanding heart and an open mind, and is instead quick to assume and get overly defensive, this person clearly isn’t mature enough to be in any type of relationship with you–someone who is only trying to improve the quality of the relationship by communicating honestly about how this person is making you feel.
In other instances where you do not even feel safe enough to express how you feel to this person for fear that they may judge or leave you, that in itself raises a red flag. A healthy relationship should always have clear and honest communication, and if you don’t feel secure enough to even voice your feelings to a person you care about (who should, in theory, care about you too), what are you still doing with this person?
This person doesn’t care to listen to you talk about your feelings because this person doesn’t fundamentally care about you as a person. They are using you for one thing or another. If this person acts like they’re listening but fails to change their behavior or make a compromise in any way, this person was only pretending to listen.
Trust me, with people like this, your silence will be the only thing that gets through to them. They’ve already taken you granted to the point where they don’t even feel like they have to listen to you anymore – because regardless of whether or not they listen, you’ll still be around. If you’ve reached this point, the best form of communication is for you to disappear. Only then will this person hear you.
I just wanted to share what I learned from my own experiences. If you disagree with what I’m saying, that’s fine, as we are all entitled to our own opinions.
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