Cuter Than Your Dad

He did it. He actually managed to describe how it feels to live with depression and suicidal tendencies.

this is really, really important

DONT GIVE THEM IDEAS.

no shame that i will watch the hell out of all of them

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

this is so fucking funny every goddamn time i see it FUCK

What the hell is the guy in the beginning even trying to do??

He’s fighting for his honor

can someone explain this

only butchers understand…

if you’re not a butcher do not reblog this post

I’ve been carrying my phone around without a case and sis…the adrenaline rush when you almost drop it…chains and wipes excite me

i remember in second grade i got a new purple sharpener and this girl who i was “friends” with asked me to have it and I was like ???? no my mom just bought this for me yesterday and she said “if you dont give me the sharpener we’re not friends anymore” and i just said “okay” and she was like “So you’re giving me the sharpener??” and i was like “why are you talking to me? we’re not friends” and i wish i was still as savage as i was back then

This made me cry a little. The number of people who tell me they used to play the flute but that they weren’t ‘talented’ enough or they gave it up to, you know, do life… This is just so beautiful.