I think I realized why I have an eating disorder.
It’s kinda simple, attention. I’m a fucking attention seeker. But in many other ways, it’s complex. I want that feeling that you get when people care about you in the way that they worry about you. I want people to feel bad for me and know I’m sick because I’ve always been sick and I just want the sickness to be bad enough that people actually notice. I want to be a sad story. I want people to look at me and feel like I’m slipping out of their fingers every minute. I don’t want them to interfere, no, I just want them to see me as I am. I am someone who will never be okay.


















