Transubstantiation

if your mom sucks I’m your mother now. Feel free to DM me and vent or ask advice or need encouragement if today is hard for you

THIS NEEDS TO BE THE MOST REBLOGGED SHIT ON TUMBLR.

“20” is for firing dudes when they don’t act right

in the mood to join a cult of women dedicated to artemis or aphrodite or hecate, walk through the woods bare breasted in divine ecstasy, recite sappho under the stars, drink libations and pretend honey is ambrosia ~

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging up old human skeletons.) And, uh, home-made bioarchaeology is tragically discriminated against by law enforcement.

Only if you get caught

“drama kid” this and “band kid” that. wheres the love for us kids that did absolutely nothing in high school

Michelle: Not to be controversial, but the only valid music genre is Perry the Platypus theme song.

man victorian slang was fucking lethal

*lying on my velvet chaise lounge in my robe and slippers* sorry old chap, but i won’t be able to make it out tonight. i’m afraid i’ve got the morbs.

My favourite sentence is “bitch the pot, I’ve got the morbs” which means “pour me some tea, I’m depressed”

how do i put my mind on mute

society went downhill when u stopped being able to go on youtube and look up "[show] season 1 episode 1" and getting the full episode broken up into parts but otherwise completely intact and it had every single episode

wait does anyone else know about the “people that are probably stand users” facebook

I tried to guess what the actual fuck “stand” is but every one of these photos both deepened my confusion and further deterred me from looking it up. Y'all just be you I guess

LMFAO

I just want to mind my business and speak 6 languages

do u ever send smth in a chat thats not even risqué like “i luv salsa” but no one responds so u start overthinking it like…. maybe one of their parents died making salsa…… maybe they were all just talking abt how they hate salsa……. maybe salsa isnt evn real and they have no idea what im talking abt

do NOT offer me a big spoon if you see me with a small one. i know what im fuckin doing

can i offer a smaller spoon?

absolutely! finally, someone with some sense around here

No wait one of those memes but it’s “the difference 450 years can make” shared in a vampire community and it’s just almost the exact same photo twice