the more words I write, the more words I have
cute little moi
AnasAbdin
styofa doing anything

titsay

ā
Claire Keane
wallacepolsom
tumblr dot com

blake kathryn
Jules of Nature
I'd rather be in outer space šø
Mike Driver

shark vs the universe

ellievsbear
taylor price
Monterey Bay Aquarium
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Love Begins
RMH
KIROKAZE
Stranger Things

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@crobinnut
the more words I write, the more words I have
cute little moi

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Wonderful Wednesday
Today I was asked of which of my children I am most proud.
Ha.
Thatās not a thing for me to claim.
It was a great night for the high school freshman child and thereās no denying I loved that theatre award more than I should, because it is hers alone that she earned alone, and nothing to do with me.
Thereās no denying that I didnāt mind a bit that in a gym of accomplished freshmen, sophomores, and juniors, she received the most accolades of anyone. Thatās her, though. Thatās not anything for me to claim. I beam, yes, and there is undeniable joy.
But all three of the people who call me Mom do amazing things, receive awards...
All three live greatness, accomplish greatness, and give all of themselves to what they do.
They all make/made amazing grades, but many do. Thereās more to life than making straight As. Theyāre smart and they work hard enough for As. Thatās swell and I donāt mind a bit.
But.
What kind of human are you? How do you treat other people? How much do you live for yourself instead of for someone else? Thatās what Iām proud of though I shouldnāt be, because they didnāt learn it from me. Thatās what I want to see.
Thatās what I learn from.
āPlease slow down.ā
-The Internet
Today these words appeared over and over. Maybe...30ish times. Please slow down. You must wait twenty seconds before you reattempt to log in. Please slow down. You must wait three minutes between attempts to change your password. Please slow down.
Why was login impossible on ticketing website Iāve used effortlessly for two years? All I wanted (read needed) to do was to print my ticket sales for the box office manager because...RECITAL WEEK!!! But today: I couldnāt log in. I couldnāt change my password. I couldnāt use my old password. I just wanted the task finished so I could move on to the next item on the to-do list. But all this website would give me today was, āPlease slow down.ā
Alas, I never did log in. I never did print the ticket sales.
And I never did slow down. (Iām working on it, Universe.)
But. I did I did move to the next task and the next, all the way to dress rehearsal and beyond. I drew many Sharpie lines through many to-dos and to-buys and I had a fabulous rehearsal. So thereās that, and thatās a good lesson too.
Please slow down. Youāve heard it. Maybe not from the internet on a day you will most assuredly NOT slow down. But youāve heard it.
I hear you, Universe. But I have STUFF TO DO!
So I strive for...
Wait twenty seconds. Wait three minutes. Read a book. Take a bubble bath.
Just not during Recital Week...
Tonight my brother held a pretzel in his hand while he told my son he made All Stars. You donāt know this, but this brother was an All Star and the son is the baby who feels constantly is aware of the big shoes to fill thanks to the successes of his uncles and his sisters, and is just trying to make his own path while fulfilling the expectations left behind by those who cane before him. Oh, the joys of small-town southern living. But heās doing it. And we are all relishing in his triumphs. This is Motherās Day.
For the love of the children and the theatre.

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Casual Friday
Every week Iām going to appear to talk about something random. Maybe dance. Maybe theatre. Maybe social justice. Maybe one of my many, many psychological issues Iām passing along to my children. I can promise I wonāt be telling you how to live your life because I havenāt figured out how to live my own life. Youāll get to know me and youāll want to know more. Or you wonāt want to know more and youāll long to have back those five minutes you invested in my words.
Right now Iām working on myself. Iām always saying Iām working on myself but right now I really am. So sometimes Iāll talk about where I am on that crazy journey.
That journey is what brought me to today and today is Friday and Iām casual so here we are with a post titled Casual Friday. Today I feel cute in my new theatre t shirt one of my dancers/actors gave me as a teacher appreciation gift. I look cute in it too. I look about the same as I do most days. But inside I am vulnerable and Iām moving in a direction.
I donāt know what direction. Maybe Iām moving forward and maybe Iām moving backward. But for 44 years I have treaded water. Moved myself nowhere. Some days Iāve felt like someone was holding my head under the water, some days I held my own head under, and some days I floated and breathed deeply.
When I moved , it was ifeās current that took me places; I never carried myself. I never kicked my legs and used my arms at the same time. The most I can say I really did is that sometimes when a boat passed I reached out, grabbed a styrofoam float someone tossed, and I held on for a while.
Today though... Thanks to strong currents and life savers Iāve reached the shore. I am out of the water and I move.
I. Move. Itās not luck, fate, God, The Universe, podcasts, self-help books, friends, inspirational Instagram posts, brothers, riding the coattails of others. Those were the currents that brought me to the shore, and for those things from me the gratitude flows. I will carry them with me. They are the things that fill the cute-on-the-outside, messy-on-the-inside bag I carry on my shoulder and root around in as I walk on my own feet in my Casual Friday loafers, up, down, and along this path where I cannot drown and where my destinations and lingerings are not determined by the current created by passing ships and the way of the wind.
Why is today special? Why do I celebrate Casual Friday at all when I am casual most days? Why make this Casual Friday the defining point that changes my life?
I donāt know. I feel comfortable, safe, and happy in loafers and I adore a cute bag filled with great stuff so why not?