Went to Catholic school my whole life and when I was 14 I had to do confirmation classes and since I went to school in a different diocese all the other kids had already done their confirmation and shit and it was weird as hell. I had to commute an hour home and then go to the basement of a church where I argued with the teacher all the time because he didn't actually understand philosophy, basically a protestant, very tragic.
Anyway part of the confirmation class was that I had to go to confession and so I went and I confessed all my sins or whatever but the next day my school also decided we needed to go to confession. So I'm waiting in the line for fuckin ever and then I get to the little confessional and I'm like "forgive me father for I've sinned it's been one day since my last confession" and the priest goes "huh?" And I explained the whole situation to him.
He asks where the hell I live and I tell him and he tells me he actually used to be a parish priest at one of the churches in town, and then he's asking me about priests he used to know and we get to talking about sandwich shops and restaurants and parks and it goes on for 10 minutes or so before we realize there's a whole line behind me so he tells me I don't gotta do anything and I leave.
The kid behind me in line grabs me as I walk past and goes "Dude what the fuck did you do?" And I almost told him what happened but I decided it would be funnier if I didn't so I was like "a lot lol" and he was like "do you gotta do like 10 hail Mary's now or something?" And I said "no it turns out if it's bad enough he just tells you you're going to hell, no contrition no nothing" and this kid was like Uber Christian and I think he felt bad for me forever because afterwards he was way nicer to me
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