Teaching Myself

🔳💀🍃🔮🎃

You gave me life. You are why I'm here and it breaks my heart everyday that I can never be with you to wish you a Happy Mother's Day, Easter, Halloween, even just a happy random Monday. Although I do feel robbed of a normal childhood with bedtime stories or even having you there to help me when I felt like life was unlivable. I don't dwell on it because I wouldn't be who I am today if this were different. My heart aches today every year knowing I can't be there to tell you how much I love you. Happy Birthday Mom.💛

It looks like swamp water but I swear it's tea and I swear it's delicious 🍵 #yogi

I like black and nude a lot. #triangles #dots #lines

#leo✌

He's too photogenic. Such an angel ❤ #happy

He's so clingy but I love it. #sleepykitten

This is me. I struggle on a daily basis to explain how I'm feeling. I lie to myself and say "I'm so happy!" in hopes that if I hear myself say it enough it will happen. I know I don't have it as bad as others, but since when do we base how we feel on how good or bad someone else has it? Everyone feels differently. I don't want to say I'm completely unhappy; I still smile at pretty things and laugh when something is funny but it doesn't feel genuine. I want to be happy. I need to be happy but I can't seem to shake this dark feeling that covers my heart. I can never seem to fully explain my feelings at any given moment but I am trying to figure out how exactly to do that. Maybe someday...

My thoughts 💭

I remember my mom blasting her album 'Jagged Little Pill' to wake me up for school every morning. We'd sing along and get ready together. It made the happiest I've ever been. She's an angel. I can't imagine my life without her music. #bestmemories #wcw @alanis

movie night 📺💿

I wish my nails were longer, I could do so many more crazy designs. #nude #white #black #funhobby