In response to a message from a follower about how to punish a long distance submissive… Many of these punishments are suitable for both RL and LDRs. The first thing is to make sure that the she knows she is still cared for and appreciated, and that the punishment is not because you are angry (on that note never punish a submissive until you are ready to set aside any uncontrolled anger). Secondly, make sure the punishment fits the crime. Third, many submissives are masochists, so if you’re going to use pain as a punishment make sure it’s a variety of pain she doesn’t care for. Lastly, ensure that when the punishment is complete that you let her know that this is behind you now. That she is loved, and that you are ready to move forward. This is especially important in a LDR.
Lines- It’s a classic for a reason. Choose the lines carefully. There is a magical effect when you write something over and over again… you begin to believe it. I highly recommend. “My pleasure belongs to Sir, and I will not steal from him,” over “I’m sorry for being a disobedient whore.” I think it’s easy to see the psychological difference.
Kneeling- Sometimes all it takes is to literally bring a sub to her knees to remind her why obedience is important. Extended times kneeling are uncomfortable. Nakedness is a given, and kneeling on rice is a classic pain punishment that’s said to be very effective.
Snapping rubber-bands- Long distance pain punishments are indeed possible. Wrap a large rubber band around a thigh, pull it back several inches, release and repeat.
Corner time- Kneeling, standing, or holding ankles while facing the wall can be a very effective punishment. Being alone, in silence with the fact that you’ve disappointed your Dominant is a very powerful thing. Nakedness is a given, and for added difficulty having her use only her nose to hold a coin against the wall is much harder than it sounds.
Extra chores- Punishments are not meant to be fun, and this one never is.
Clamping- Another long distance approved pain punishment. Being clamped while doing chores, kneeling, etc. is an uncomfortable reminder. You want to be sure to separate this from playtime. Labia clamping is another option to consider.
Early bedtimes/restrictions on social media, TV- There is of course an element of trust here, but social media sites are easy enough to check for activity
Mouth soaping- Another classic for a reason. A bar of ivory soap in the mouth can border on torturous.
Taking away panties/bra- This sort of thing depends entirely on the submissive. Some women are perfectly comfortable being without panties or a bra. Others think it’s unspeakable.
Essays- Having to put into words how you failed to fulfill your commitments is a very serious punishment for most submissives.
Figging- Figging, for those who don’t know is when you insert peeled ginger root into your bottom. This is a type of pain some masochists do not find enjoyable. The bonus here is that unlike other methods such as using capsaicin, icy-hot, etc, ginger root will cause a pain reaction but will not damage tissue.
Plugging- Plugging out of a sexual context, or for extended amounts of time, can be uncomfortable, and embarrassing. Add in a bit of edging, a trip to the grocery store, or sleeping with the plug inside if you’re up for it.
Denial- Be sure to edge and torture her as fits the transgression, or your mood.
Self-deprecation- Having a submissive refer to herself only as ’this forgetful whore,’ or in the third person for a set amount of time.
There are many more not included with the list, however I think this is a good starting point. Over time you will see which things are most effective for your sub.
LDR punishments should be verified by video, picture, voice etc. This is not a matter of trust only. It’s important that a Doms presence is felt during times of punishment, and your desire to verify will help her understand the importance of obedience and your commitment to making sure she follows through.
A final note…
Ignoring your submissive, or withdrawing attention is NEVER a suitable punishment. Just don’t. You’ve asked this person to enter a relationship centered around their reliance on you, and denying them access to you is damaging.
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