"murmur" by cameron barnett

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"murmur" by cameron barnett

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on the enormity of love and desire when you are alone
lucille clifton "climbing" | richard siken "birds hover the trampled field" | diary of franz kafka, jan 24 1915 | laurie halse anderson on 'moby dick' | 300122 by @ryebreadgf | richard siken "litany in which certain things are crossed out" | jenny holzer inflammatory essay "untitled (oh lord when you are alone)" | mitski "love me more" | richard siken "planet of love" | haruki murakami "norwegian wood"
a list of times i laughed watching hannibal where i really shouldnât have:
jack beating the shit out of hannibal in florence
mozartâs lacrimosa playing when will misses his appointment with hannibal and hannibal subsequently mopes like a sad simp
chiyoh pushing will off the train
âThis guy, heâs missing a spleen. A spleen! Who the hell gets a spleen transplant?!â solely because scott thompsonâs delivery is gold
hannibal just getting more and more visibly turned on every time will tries to kill hannibal or is violent towards him in some way
honestly every time will and bedelia were having their little pissing contests in season 3b mostly because will is literally paying her to call him a degenerate whore
will having his sexual awakening watching hannibal perform emergency surgery in the back of an ambulance with his hands wrist-deep in some guy
âWe are her fathers now.â
will and hannibal straight up flirting in front of jack and alana at their own crime scenes
hannibalâs dramatic twirl after he sees abigailâs ear in willâs sink
hannibal randomly petting a sheep while a man crawls out of a dead horseâs body not ten feet away from him
antony dimmondâs face when he thinks bedelia is propositioning him into a threesome with her and hannibal but she actually just forgot normal people who donât eat other people exist
honestly every time antony dimmond was on screen because he was just so perpetually horny and so obvious about it
pazzi handing will the photo of young hannibal and will making that face like heâs imagining just getting railed six ways to sunday
aleksandra waliszewska // yves olade // joy priest, horsepower // richard siken, wishbone
1. graceland too â phoebe bridgers / 2. anyway the wind blows â rainbow rowell / 3. two â sleeping at last / 4. crush â richard siken / 5. treacherous â taylor swift / 6. transformations of the lover â adonis (ID in alt text)

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Richard Siken, Crush; from âLitany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Outâ
Etel Adnan, interviewed by Lisa Robertson in Bomb Magazine [trancript below]
Keep reading
âWhy do we hunger so for vicious things?â
â Robert Lowell, from âThe vanity of human wishes : (after Juvenalâs Tenth satire)â Encounter. Vol. 27, no. 6 (Dec., 1966)
i hate myself for feeling this way
1. the crane wife; cj hauser 2. dead inside; unknown 3. love of the wolf: âstigmata: escaping textsâ; hĂŠlène cixous (tr. keith cohen) 4. my mother; georges bataille 5. twitter; @kvetchkween 6. the letters of virginia woolf, volume 3; virginia woolf 7. litany in which certain things are crossed out; richard siken 8. hoax; taylor swift 9. birds hover the trampled field; richard siken

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HAND ON MY HEART. HAND ON MY STUPID HEART
ross gay / susan sontag / unknown / richard siken / warsan shire / lana del ray / tturing / hera lindsay bird / richard siken
I'm curious about the conversation in Ko No Mono when Will and Hannibal are discussing Mischa and Abigail- particularly when Hannibal says that his sister "taught him so much about himself". The first time I watched the ep I remembered feeling like it was a statement that was heavy with meaning (after a rewatch it struck me again). I know it's hard to state anything concretely since we don't know much about Mischa but I was wondering if you had any theories about what that line could/does imply.
Youâre right: itâs impossible to say exactly to what he was referring, within his own mind. He could have meant any number of things, many of them innocent enough: that she taught him his own capacity for love, for nurturance of others, for responsibility and teachingâmost of which have carried through into the rest of his life as a psychiatrist and a mentor. Itâs one of those ways in which Hannibal isnât a classic psychopath. Heâs dedicated his life to helping others, and not just in the more disturbing ways like with Will and Abigail and Bedelia and Randall Tier and God knows who else, but with innocent people like Franklyn Froideveaux, his initial intentions to help Bella accept and approach death, and as a mentor to Alana Bloom.
But to any fan who is familiar with the source material, the implication is clear: Mischa is who taught Hannibal about his capacity for murder. Hannibal was not a murderer until he sought revenge for the killing and cannibalization of his sister.
As anyone who follows interviews knows, Mads is insistent that Hannibal wasnât made into a murderer (x), while Bryan has been less clear. Sometimes Bryan seems right in line with Mads, and sometimes he says things that imply otherwise. Iâve always figured this was because, in Hannibalâs case, the capacity had to be there. Hannibalâs psychology and makeup is such that nothing could make him into a murderer; however, without what happened with Mischa, he might not have discovered and cultivated those aspects of himself. The show consistently rides that line between nature and nurture and ultimately dismisses both in favor of the power of human choice.
When it comes to nature versus nurture, I choose neither. We are built from a DNA blueprint and born into a world of scenario and circumstance we donât control.
Will and Chilton are probably good counterpoints to this concept. If we accept Hannibalâs assertion that Hannibal and Will are âjust alike,â then that capacity for murder has to be as present in Will as it is in Hannibal. However, without the influence of âscenario and circumstance,â Will himself did not actually become a killer. Hannibal had to engineer sufficient circumstance in order to get Will to first discover and then choose to cultivate those aspects of himself. Chilton, under more or less the same circumstances as Will, made Will almost laugh when he pulled a gun on him, because no matter how ugly the scenario and how desperate his circumstanceââYouâre not a killer, Frederick.â Within Hannibalâs world, nature and nurture both need to align properly to cultivate a killer, and then itâs still subject to the choice of the individual, and this remains the final difference between Hannibal and Will.
Thus it follows that Mischa taught Hannibal that as much as he was a father or a caregiver, he was also a killer.Â
However, speaking personally, I think the most important thing that Mischa taught Hannibal was neither about his capacity for killing, nor about his relationship with love.
I think the lesson Mischa taught Hannibal was helplessness. And the lengths he would go to in order to avoid it.
Hannibal is who he is. He cares, he kills, and the conflation of these things is what makes him make sense, even down to his killing of the rude and making meals for his friends from their remains. But neither caring nor killing could prevent what happened to Mischa, whatever that will turn out to be in this continuity. More importantlyâŚthey could not bring her back.Â
The shattering of the teacup is symbolic to Hannibal because, once shattered, heâs helpless to fix it. Mending it will not make it what it was beforeâonly the impossible turning back of time could do that. Hannibal cannot turn back time, so the only thing he can do is exercise maximum control over his circumstances, have many contingency plans, and work actively and tirelessly to make sure that whatever happens, he has an answer for it. Thus, over time, what happened with Mischa has taught Hannibal to keep every detail of his life in immaculate order.
But I think this, in the end, bored him. Not in any discernible way, perhaps, but enough that he takes risks. When faced with an individual who could, âdespite all [Hannibalâs] knowledge and intrusion,â keep Hannibal guessing, Hannibal was hopelesslyâand helplesslyâseduced. He arranged and manipulated every last detail so that this time, everything would work out: this time, he would be able to protect and nurture those he cared about; this time, the family would stay whole and live happily ever after together; this time, not only would the teacup stay together, but it would make whole that which was broken before.
And in the end, I think this is why Hannibal reacts so violently and viscerally to Willâs betrayal, even after forgiving him. Hannibal canât bring himself to really kill Will, which is yet another marker of how helpless Hannibal is when it comes to Will. He cannot bear that helplessness, that recurrence of loss at the hands of anotherâŚthat he should do everything right and still lose. He canât allow himself to be this vulnerable to another human being, yet again, and lacking the will in himself to destroy the person who caused him this anguish, the only way he can seize control againâthe only way he can stop being so helplessâis to destroy the most significant aspect of Willâs own vulnerability to Hannibal. Abigail Hobbs.
To destroy his own helplessness, Hannibal must also destroy his last vestige of hope.
âHaunting isnât enough. I want to merge, live inside, split into your cells until flesh itself is only thought of as contextual.â
â Jasmine Gibson, Stop Texting Me
3x07 || 3x10 || 3x13
Will as Hannibalâs bride

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Hannibal by Daniel Danger 18x36âł screen print. for Mondo & NBC Universal 2015
to give you an idea of how intense Italy is on terms of religious & sexy imagery⌠a song by sweet, harmless indie-pop band pinguini tattici nucleari has these lyrics in the chorus:
âbecause in the end between a kiss and cannibalism there isnât that much difference / kiss me hard until you devour me, Iâll live within you foreverâÂ