i wanna revive this blog now that i'm less thinking i'm gonna give up on everything like i was during my depressive episode. which is tbh still going. the only problem is it's impossible to get engagement on tumblr and putting things on here often just feels like they're going straight to the void. i am really appreciative of the fans of this blog i see you guys but i'm like damn is it worth the effort!!!! tumblr is the social media i've had the longest so i'd like to use it in theory, especially since i've discovered so much great art on here throughout the years. reblogging to my main page only does so much bc i only reblog stuff on there and tags do not work very well. i'll have to think about it! this is very much old man yells at cloud material but i am just so stumped. how do people do it without posting fanart from popular stuff? or the dreaded question, is my art interesting enough for people to want to see it? i've gotten compliments throughout the years but i do wonder if my work is really worth all the acclaim i wish it had- if only to survive. i don't want much in this life, just to paint and perhaps own a house. maybe travel. i do like travelling. but what am i supposed to do to get people interested? that's always been the question. how do i get people to look or to care without begging them to or making them feel forced? there's so much guilt surrounding art marketing these days. i refuse to guilt people into engaging with my work. it just wouldn't be right at all. it would be ill-won acclaim, and feel empty. 'support me or you suck'... what kind of notion is that? it's impossible to not feel some kind of longing for engagement. it could be that i don't have a niche. i don't label anything. i don't want a niche- if i had one it would add more pressure to myself and be that much more difficult to create under those parameters. I've tried! it's difficult to say... posting for damn near 10 years and the rules keep changing. who knows. it's the eternal torment
