What is the Purpose?
Becoming older is such a strange thing. Where has the time gone? Everything is changing at a pace, drastically. I do feel quite lost within my days. Yet, I wonder... what is the true purpose? The purpose I may have now, in my 30's .... won't be the same while I'm in my 40's. My mind is my biggest enemy when it comes to figuring out what I am and my purpose in everyday life. I will never understand, I don't think any of us can. Maybe that's the purpose, a mystery. We are all living in a unsolved mystery. A case file that will never be solved. Driving myself wild as I type. I do feel myself becoming stronger, in some aspects. The pity parties are long gone. I just want acceptance, love, and to be comfortable. It may take years and years before I feel completely whole. Tons of pieces of me vanished long ago, yet my body has restored those forgotten pieces. I am slowly, learning each and every day. There is no age limit, when it comes wanting to have a purpose in life. I am a mother. Is that enough? Maybe it's not. BUT I am a strong woman, regardless. I have to be. I may not believe it, but I do matter. Each of us matter. So, regardless of what our purpose should be or how to receive one? Doesn't matter. You are breathing and that's what matters. I am longing for better days ahead. For each of us who struggle in their own way. It will never be fair. But we must carry on and fight. This rant may not make sense to anybody, but struggling has become a habit. I'm drained from existing. Keep in mind, there are really good days.
Thank you for existing and hearing me out.
