Art and stuff

inspired by this post!!!!

Cw nudity

WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE

WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS

You might think Simon can't qualify as a tumblr sexyman because he's attractive, BUT there's more to his character than just his looks:

Simon 'The Butcher' is a murderer with a body count of +60 people.

Traumatized to hell and back, haunted by his past.

Raised by what's essentially a death cult to be a child soldier.

The most sopping wet cat of a man to ever live. Literally. He's completely drenched in blood.

Personality of a kicked dog: Quick to anger, but apologizes profusely SO many times for hurting other people, HE EVEN APOLOGIZES TO A PANEL BOARD FOR PUNCHING IT

Haunted by mind shattering horrors.

Disfigured and turned into a monster by said horrors.

Not just this, but think about the win this would be for an indie project

Think about the traction this would give Iron Lung

Think about letting this newcomer have his time to shine

And if not for anything else, think about how funny it would be for Mark "I see everything" Iplier to find out he won the 2026 tumblr sexyman contest as Simon

1. The bit. Markiplier winning the tournament would be ridiculous. Also he’d probably say something about it and that would be even more funny

2. LOOK AT HIM he’s a sad hot man drenched in blood and trauma. What more can you ask for????????

3. I would get to never shut up about it

4. Tangential propaganda: what if we make him and Ryland grace go at it in the finals?

5. It supports fandom morale for crossovers. Simon is one half of bloodymary, the most fun thing I’ve seen happen in fandom in the few years I’ve been around here.

6. My friends would never hear the end of it

7. YOUR friends have the opportunity to never hear the end of it

8. He has so much angst potential. Like so much. You can throw buckets of it on him and he’ll still stand up afterwards and want to live.

heyyyyy tumblr my first post