Things Have Changed

I'm proud of who I am.

Sometimes I wonder if you were to do a cross section of my brain what it would look like. Sometimes this gets so hard it feels like each side would look completely different from the other. One side would be rainbows and almost like an amusement park...whereas the other...it would be like a dark and scary night in the woods...

Sometimes I feel like no one gives a shit about me. I feel like such an inconvenience. I feel like all I do is add stress and frustration to people's lives.

Open my door while driving on the highway (don't forget to unbuckle) Make out with my best friends (male and female...all straight) Have sex with every man I meet. Fall in love with every person that shows me any affection Jump off the roof Jump out of moving vehicles Spend every dollar I have on clothes and makeup I don't need Kill my sister Cut myself Beat myself senseless Crash my car into the divider while my best friend is in the car with me Kill myself (everyday) Clean every inch of my room. Ignore the mess in my room (and believe me it's disastrous) Break things...everything

My therapist recommended to me I start journaling...to get down all the things I feel and what is happening while I’m feeling these things. I figured doing a blog might just help. I’ll talk to an anonymous group of people...or no one at all. My goal is just for this to be a step in the right direction. And I can perhaps inspire people to know that they’re not alone.