Only Half Awake

I’m moving through life numb. Every day is a checkpoint...

‘I just have to get through today, tomorrow will be better.’

But each day begins and ends, and I haven’t moved. I’ve gone nowhere. I’m immobile. 

Today, I sat on my bedroom floor, in silence, and stared at the tile, and I swore that I would cry. My stomach dropped, my breath fluttered, but no tears came. 

Why? Why can’t I cry? 

I don’t feel anymore. I just know how I’m supposed to feel, so, I act how I’m supposed to act. Inside is nothing, it’s empty.

My heart is tied up in knots. My blood doesn’t flow right. I feel anemic 

I can’t think straight. 

What do these words even mean? What do I want them to mean? Why am I writing them? What is the truth? What is my truth? Why am I stuck? Why can’t I move? When will I be free? When will I feel like myself? Who am I? 

friend: cool

Help my friend help the world! If there is anyone that I truly believe can make a difference it’s this guy. Even coming from a small city in Mississippi and having limited opportunity for himself he has always taken his own initiative and wanted to extend opportunity to others. He has been granted an amazing place in the Peace, but as he has supported himself since high school and paid for his four years of college on his own, sometimes working three jobs while taking classes to make it work. Many of us think that joining the Peace Corps is something anyone with the mindset can do, but it’s actually really expensive and therefor the Peace Corps volunteer population is one of primarily privileged, white people. Let’s give some other people a chance to change the world, starting with my dear friend Nigel!

Here are his goals and obstacles in his own words:

“Hello all! My name is Nigel Stinson, and as you may already know, I have recently accepted a position to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Albania beginning in January 2018. I will be serving as a Health Extension Volunteer, which I will talk more about below.

As you can imagine, preparation to leave the country for two years has been expensive! The medical and dental visits alone have needed a great deal of resources. This is an amazing opportunity that I would not like to pass on. That is why I am asking for your help in funding my volunteer opportunity.

Here is a description of what I will hopefully be doing for the next:

Health Education Volunteers and their Albanian colleagues will conduct health education activities. Typical days will not be spent tied only to the school; rather, after lessons end (around 1:30 PM), volunteers may then spend their time co-teaching students in English, holding additional school-based projects at the schools, or reaching out to health professionals within the health system, as well as other individuals in the community who are interested in working with them. I will be working 8-10 hours at school, then afterward, visiting local clinics, youth service centers or community groups providing education and building awareness on health issues such maternal and child health, personal hygiene, and other local health problems. Many of the activities will involve working with youth in-school and out of school, delivering classes or trainings to school children and community members, conducting needs assessments and developing health projects to address local concerns, working on the development of informational and instructional materials.