Say What?!

“Yes, clearly you need a murderboard of unfuckening.”

“I like you for your personality!” “Oh my God, WHY?!”

“I should never outsource my snooping.”

"Come see the violence inherent in the secretary!"

“Brought to you by playful oranges”

“I have no beds.  Only torture racks.”

“You wanna hear a story about my dad?  No? Well fuck you, listen up.”

“You sound like an orc.  Like, not just any orc but one specific orc.”

"I said poodles are stereotyped and suddenly I'm taking flak for this!"

"When you've got nothing, go with cow-pies."

“I think this person genuinely wanted me to know that I can eat souls.”

"Man, I should put in my will that if I turn up murdered, it wasn't you. They always suspect the spouse, but you're way too lazy to kill anybody."