How does one put it into perspective? The feeling of sadness, hurt or despair? The way you feel the disappointment radiating off of the other person. It feels shit. Really bad. All you want is to cry, and if you do- you get moaned at. Its funny how that works.
“Kathy?” Alex snapped two fingers in front of his friend’s face. “You there?” Kathrine shook her head and smiled towards him, “Let me daydream if I want, okay? Thanks Al.” It was great. How they were hanging out in their god-awful apartment, sipping the cheapest rosé they could possibly find. On the verge of their tipsy state, her brain decided it was the perfect time to think of past times. Whether it was her family or ex, she thought about it. All in the span of five minutes. Alex, her faithful comrad, was entirely used to her zoning out and had immense patience with their friendship.
“What was it this time?” He asked, as if something always had to be wrong. Kathrine sipped and smiled,“Why do you always assume it has to be something bad?” Smirking, he responded with a simple, “Your mood shifts slightly.” and decided it was time they stopped drinking, either wise they'll both be a crying mess by the time they go to bed.
While cleaning up in the kitchen, Kathrine was dancing along to the music that had been playing along in the background, waiting for that dreaded song that made her cry, whether she’d been drinking or not. It was a simple melody with lyrics that could make anyone tear up. “Alex?” She turned to her best friend bluntly, “What are we doing?” She looked to the ground, “Why the fuck do we live here, living average lives with these average jobs?” He was stunned, he couldn’t answer that. They weren’t well off, they lived average lives as kids too. “Kath, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Al, I want to travel. I want to live an exciting life and not dwell on all the shit I’ve been through.” This was it, her breaking point, he was waiting, barely had 3 glasses and this is what happens. She fell to the floor and her shirt started getting drenched. “Shh Kathy, we’ll get outta here soon. This is temporary.” Running to her side, he held her and they sat there. Consoling and feeling of being wanted always helped, they both needed constant reassurance. It was something they couldn’t help.
“I'm going to bed,” Kathrine sniffled and got up from the floor and locked herself in her room. Alex sighed and mimicked her, he needed the sleep for his day tomorrow. Time to get outta here, he thought and closed his eyes.
Meanwhile Kathy had taken her tears to her room, crying into her pillow and thinking of things that had tortured her mind since she was a young teen, whether it was memories of her father literally being a dick or if it was her ex taunting her, she didn’t know what to do with these thoughts.
Her dad for starters would pick on her for really dumb things, when she was 16, they were living with his aunt and uncle before moving to LA and if she had one bowl at breakfast and possibly another at lunch, he’d tell her off for eating too much, which she never understood. She wasn’t going to school so he obviously thought she was eating out of boredom and it bothered her a lot because you're supposed to eat 3 meals a day, its basic human nature.
Other things that she couldn’t control like needing deodorant, he’d simply not get her when she asked because he couldn’t afford it, but drinking with his buddies was more important. These little things pegged on her mind until her ripe age of 23 and Alex knew it all too well.
He had grown up with both his parents but constant fighting between the two, his dad had multiple affairs but his mom continued living her life, ignoring it. He had gone through the bullshit just like Kathrine and that's what drew them together, a strong bond of fucked up pasts.
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