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.ᐟ. ✦ SUMMARY: not all ideas are good ones especially ones that make din realise something he's been keeping hidden deep down inside.
.ᐟ. ✦ WARNINGS: usual star wars violence, jealous!din. he's bad at feelings.
.ᐟ. ✦ WC: 2.3k
.ᐟ . ✦AUTHORS NOTE: hi, this is my first time writing a star wars fic and i'm a lil nervous about it. im just testing the waters to see if i can write din and be happy with it and i think i am so there may be more in the future.
He hated this plan.
No, he loathed it with everything he had.
It was completely ridiculous. Idiotic even and he’d told you as much but you hadn’t listened to him. When did you ever listen to him? There were some days where he wished he’d just left you on Tatooine with Peli. Today was one of those days. It would have made his life a lot easier. You were stubborn, brash, you never listened to him and you irritated him like no tomorrow. But, although he would never admit it out loud, he liked those qualities about you. The way you treated him like a person, not a big scary Mandalorian was nice. Most people cowered in fear when they saw the Beskar but you? You hadn’t even batted an eye.
Din had first met you on Tatooine the day he had first met Peli. You were her younger cousin, forced to help her out with mechanic work even though that was the last thing you had wanted. You had no family left — your parents had been taken captive by Imperials when you were a child and ever since then you had been under Peli’s care. It wasn’t that you didn’t adore Peli because you did but you wanted more for yourself. You wanted to explore the galaxy, see what else was out there other than the desert and dry air of Tatooine. If you had to spend your whole life on this arid planet, you might just walk out into the desert and let a Sarlacc swallow you whole. Din had admittedly been fascinated by you with the way you had completely ignored him, barely sparing him a glance as you mumbled to yourself about the state of his ship. Before he had left the planet, Peli had asked him to take you along with him. She had framed it as ‘payback for watching the little womprat’ but really she wanted you to go out there and see the galaxy like you had talked about. Din had grumbled but, reluctantly, agreed. Those first few days on his Razor Crest had been bathed in nothing but silence until the one day you had finally talked to him.
“Don’t you ever get tired of smelling your own breath in that helmet?” you had asked him. The first words you had spoken to him. It had taken him by surprise. Of all the things you could have said to him, he hadn’t been expecting that.
After that, the sarcastic, teasing comments started coming more and more. His exasperated replies, the tilt of his Beskar helmet tilting to the side as you asked the most ridiculous questions had become your favourite thing. You didn’t fear him, you just liked to get under his skin in a way that made him feel like an actual person and not a bounty hunter. It was how a friend would treat him because… he guessed that’s what you two had become over time. He had to admit, you could be helpful when it came to taking care of the ship but you also often had good ideas for helping him go after his bounties.
However, this idea was awful. Truly.
You had suggested to be the bait. The bounty was a man of luxury who lived to be surrounded by money and beautiful women. The one sure way to lure him out would be to dress up, flirt a little and convince him to come back to the ship with you but Din hated the very thought of it.
“No,” he said simply.
“Come on! You know it’ll work or are you trying to say I’m not pretty enough to pull it off?” You placed your hands on your hips. You were baiting him. He knew it, you knew it.
An exasperated sigh left his modulator, his finger raising to point at you. “Don’t start.”
“Din, come on. It’ll be fine! You’ll be there lurking in the shadows if anything goes wrong. I can do this.” You had placed your hand on his forearm, his armour cool beneath your hands. He gazed down at it, his helmet barely moving so you didn’t notice but that simple touch was short circuiting his brain. It wasn’t often that you touched him — you were very respectful of his creed but whenever you did, it always sent him into a tailspin. Not that he could really feel but just the gesture itself was enough. Not many people showed him affection — well, nobody did so it was foreign for him. His body didn’t know how to react but he never pushed you away.
“Fine,” he relented. “But if things get hairy, I’m bringing him in co-”
“Yeah, yeah, cold. We know the line.”
He huffed, turning back to face out of the windows of the ship into the dark, starry span of space. “Go get ready then.”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Seeing the plan in action confirmed Din’s thought. It was the worst idea anyone in the whole damn galaxy had come up with. The cantina was full of patrons, seedy types, the ones you didn’t really want to socialise with unless you had to. The type of people Din was familiar with but not the ones you were. These weren’t the type of people you should be around. You were… good. They were not. Din was currently leaning against the back wall of the cantina facing the bar, fingers looped in his belt, one hand on his blaster in case he needed to pull it out in a pinch. His eyes under the helmet were solely trained on you, watching every single move you made.
Currently, you were sitting at the bar with the bounty in question — Kenth Cardell. A fake laugh from you sounded throughout Din’s helmet as you laughed at some terrible joke the man had made. Kenth was leaned in close to you, your hand on his forearm in a move to entice him. Din’s jaw was clenched under his helmet. Every time Kenth’s eyes landed on you, looking over your body or landing on your chest (where they focused most of the time) Din’s blood boiled. It took all the strength he had not to march over there and rip you away from the creep. But, he had to trust you. He did. Some of the time.
His whole body was taut, a feeling building up inside of him that he’d never felt before. It was foreign, unwanted. Each time Kenth leaned forward to brush your hair out of your face or when you giggled at something he said, a pit of anger bubbled up inside Din. It was all consuming, an anger like he’d never felt before. The hand poised on his blaster tightened. His jaw was clenched so hard he was sure he was about to give himself a headache.
Jealousy. That’s what it was.
Din Djarin had never been a jealous man. He had nothing to ever be jealous of before but now seeing some guy all over you? He was experiencing it for the first time and had no idea what to do with it. It was like a dam had burst open inside of him, showing him something he had hidden deep inside him since the moment he had met you. The only thought ringing through his head each time Kenth made any kind of physical contact with you was ‘it should be me’.
Feelings didn’t come easy to Din. With his creed, he had cut himself off from really growing attached to anyone. Grogu was the exception — he was a child, someone Din had taken under his care. But to have romantic feelings for someone? That had never really crossed his mind. Of course he’d had encounters in the past — hook ups and one night stands but they had never really meant anything. They were just a way to satisfy his needs. But now, as he looked at you, smiling a smile (that was entirely fake, he knew that deep down) at some other guy, he released that his heart belonged to you. It was a gut punch to realise he could feel this way about someone.
So lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even realise when Kenth had placed his hand on your leg but he caught it in time to see the man slowly slide his hand up to the hem of your dress. It barely had time to slide underneath before Din had marched over there, blaster out and pointed at the man’s head.
“Hands off,” he growled, his words laced with venom. Kenth instantly pulled his hands away, placing them in front of him in a placating gesture. “I was told to bring you in warm but I don’t think they’d care if a little ‘accident’ happened.”
Your eyes widened. You’d seen him angry before but never like this. It was like his mind and body weren’t working together, like he was acting on pure instinct. If you could see his eyes right now, you’d see how they were raging with a storm so big that the man in front of him was sure to scurry out of the door. The only reason he wasn’t right now was because a blaster was being held to his head.
“On your feet,” Din hissed, pressing the blaster closer to Kenth’s temple. The man was instantly on his feet. Din shoved him forward then darted his hand out to grab your wrist, dragging you along with him as he made his way out of the cantina.
“What are you doing?!” You yelled at him, trying to get yourself out of his grasp but it was to no use. He wasn’t being rough but he was way stronger than you.
“I told you this plan was stupid!” He sneered at you, his helmet rounding on you.
“It was working until you came in and ruined it!”
“He had his hands all over you!”
“And, I was handling it.”
Din came to a stop, the blaster still pointed at the bounty but he faced you, anger seeping out of him through his armour. You didn’t need to see his face to know he was furious but you were confused as to why. As far as you knew everything had been going great. Sure, Kenth had been a little touchy but you would’ve never let it go too far. You had been so close to getting him to come back to the ship with you until Din had showed up and ruined everything.
“His hand was sliding under your skirt for kriffin’ sake! I don’t think that’s handling it,” he growled, the sound menacing coming from his modulator.
You tilted your head, getting a good look at him. His whole body was tense, his blaster held firmly to Kenth’s head even though he was facing you. Then, it hit you. He was jealous. He was jealous and had no idea how to handle it. A smirk crept onto your face, your eyes glancing down to his hand that was still clasped around your wrist.
“Are you jealous?” You teased.
“No.”
“You are.”
“Don’t mess with me right now,” he said through gritted teeth. He nudged Kenth in the head, making him move again, dragging you along.
“That’s adorable.”
“Be quiet.”
The tone in his voice left no room for argument so you dropped it. For now. You let Din lead you to the ship, your eyes focused on the way his shoulders were ramrod straight, his whole posture locked in. The tone of his voice when he spoke had been commanding, angry. It was a stark difference to how exasperated he usually sounded. You had to admit that a jealous Mandalorian was hot. Anyone else would probably be terrified but you were amused. Knowing Din’s past and his creed, you were certain he had never felt anything like this before. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach to know you were the first person to ever bring up these emotions in him.
Once back on the ship, the bounty firmly locked in the carbonite, Din rounded on you. You took a step back, hitting the cool wall of the ship. One of his hands landed at the side of your head on the wall, the other hovering uncertainly by your hip. He was breathing heavily in his helmet, trying to calm himself down. Your eyes glanced down to where his hand was then back up to his visor, hopefully meeting his eyes.
“It’s okay, you can touch me,” you whispered.
His hand hovered for a moment more before he finally, finally made contact with you, his gloved fingers digging into your hip just right. “You’ll never let another man or woman or kriffin alien touch you like that again, you understand me?”
“Why?” You asked innocently. Once again you were baiting him.
“Because…” He was at a loss for words. What could he say? That he wanted you? That he was the only one that should get to touch you? No, he couldn’t. “Just… don’t.”
“Okay,” you said quietly, your hand coming up to rest on his that was on your hip. “I won’t.”
“Good girl.”
Your eyes widened at those words, your whole body igniting. He hadn’t even meant to say them, they’d just spilled out but the effect they had on you? That would stay in his memory for the rest of his life.
The silence was deafening after that. Then, it was like he came back to his senses. He tore his hands from you, taking a step back then without another word he ascended up the ladder into the cockpit. You didn't follow, still too stunned by everything that had just happened. His jealousy, the way his hand had felt on your hip and the ‘good girl’. It all felt like a fever dream. This was the most you had ever got from him.
Din sighed to himself in the cockpit. This was dangerous. He couldn’t let this happen. Feelings weren’t something he was accustomed to. He felt uncomfortable, unlike himself. No, he had to put a stop to this immediately. So, he did the only thing he could think of, typing in the co-ordinates to Tatooine.
Imagine Grogu showing you the drawing he made at school.
"Are you crying?" Din asks, looking at you. You sniff with a big smile.
Grogu, who was in your arms, started making little noises, stroking your cheek worriedly.
"I'm fine, baby, it's just... it's precious," you told the boy, kissing his head.
Grogu smiled happily and started playing with your hair.
You hand the drawing to Din, who takes it, smiling under his helmet at the drawing the boy had made. It was the three of them, and behind them, a smiling sun.
He smiles proudly as he reads what Grogu has written. With messy, colorful letters, the boy has written: I love you, Dad and Mom
hiii!! i'm so sorry for taking so long to write this request :(
Din Djarin x fem!Reader
She/her pronouns used!
Anon request :)
Summary: After a long and grueling bounty hunt, the reader tries to engage Din Djarin in conversation, only to be met with coldness. Frustrated and hurt, the reader demands to be dropped off at the next destination. Din, realizing the gravity of his actions, begins to reveal his true feelings for her. Meanwhile, Grogu plays a pivotal role in bringing them closer together.
Beskar Hearts
The Razor Crest was a sanctuary of silence and shadows, the only sound being the hum of the ship's engines. You sat in the cockpit, eyes glancing out into the abyss of space. Din was seated beside you, his helmet obscuring his face as usual. The mission had been taxing, physically and mentally, and you had hoped for some comfort, some connection, but Din had been distant.
You took a deep breath, deciding to try once more. “It was a tough mission, huh? That last target almost got the jump on us.”
Din grunted in response, his fingers tapping away at the console. You frowned, the ache of isolation settling deeper into your bones. “Din, talk to me. We’ve been through so much together. Why are you shutting me out?”
He didn’t even turn his head. “I’m busy.”
Frustration bubbled up within you. “Busy? Busy ignoring me? We’re partners, Din. Or at least, I thought we were.”
His shoulders tensed, but he said nothing. The silence was deafening, a chasm opening between you. You stood, unable to contain your anger and hurt any longer. “If this is how it’s going to be, just drop me off at the next planet. I can’t keep doing this.”
Din’s head snapped towards you, surprise evident even through the helmet. “What?”
“You heard me,” you said, voice trembling. “I’m done.”
You stormed out of the cockpit, retreating to your quarters. Tears stung your eyes as you collapsed onto the small bed, emotions swirling. You had given so much, endured so much, and now it felt like you were nothing more than an unwanted burden.
Din sat frozen in the cockpit, your words echoing in his mind. He hadn’t meant to be cold, hadn’t realized how deeply his silence had cut you. The weight of his armor felt heavier, the confines of his helmet suffocating. He stared at the closed door you had walked through, heart pounding.
He had always been careful, always kept people at a distance. It was safer that way. But you had slipped through his defenses, had become someone he couldn’t imagine being without. The thought of you leaving was like a punch to the gut.
A soft cooing sound drew his attention. Grogu, the small green child who had become a part of their unconventional family, toddled into the cockpit, looking up at Din with wide, curious eyes. Grogu reached out with his tiny hand, patting Din’s leg as if sensing his turmoil.
Din knelt down, placing a gentle hand on Grogu’s head. “She’s upset,” he murmured. Grogu tilted his head, his large eyes seeming to understand more than a child should.
“I have to make this right,” Din said, more to himself than to Grogu. He stood, determination coursing through him. He made his way to your quarters, Grogu following close behind. Hesitating only for a moment, Din knocked. “Can I come in?”
There was no response. He took a deep breath and entered, finding you sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes red-rimmed. Grogu waddled over to you, climbing onto the bed and curling up beside you, his presence a small comfort.
“I’m sorry,” Din said, the words awkward and heavy. “I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you.”
You looked up at him, pain and anger in your gaze. “Sorry isn’t enough, Din. I can’t keep being treated like I don’t matter.”
“You do matter,” he said, voice softer. “More than you know.”
He stepped closer, though he kept his helmet on, the visor hiding his eyes. “I’m not good at this,” he admitted. “At talking, at… feelings. But you’re important to me. More important than anyone else has been.”
You blinked, surprised at the vulnerability in his voice. “Then why push me away?”
“Because I’m scared,” he said simply. “I’m scared of losing you, of getting too close and then losing everything. It’s easier to push you away than to face that fear.”
Tears welled up again, but this time they were different. You stood, closing the distance between you. “You won’t lose me, Din. But you have to let me in. We’re a team, remember?”
He nodded, reaching out to cup your cheek with his gloved hand. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’ll try to be better. I don’t want you to leave.”
You leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand grounding you. “I don’t want to leave. I just want to know that I matter to you.”
“You do,” he whispered, pulling you into a tender embrace. “You matter more than anything.”
Grogu cooed softly, nuzzling against you, his innocent presence a balm to both your wounded hearts. In that moment, the walls between you crumbled, and you found solace in each other’s arms. The journey ahead would still be fraught with challenges, but now, you knew you wouldn’t face them alone. Together, with Grogu by your side, you were stronger, and together, you would find your way.
again, i apologize for having this so late!! thank you so much for the request as well, it really helps getting the creative juices flowing lol. i hope you love this as much as i did writing it!
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Mandalor Din Djarin, who never wanted the throne of the newly re- established planet of Mandalore, but accepted his responsibilities for the sake of his people, even going as far as to agree to an arranged marriage with you, the daughter of a high end political figure of a neighbouring planet, all in the name of good relations. Who, on the wedding day barely spoke to you (beyond what was expected), as it was obvious you weren't happy about this union either. Who, on the wedding night lead you to the royal suit, and when you began to tremble, assured you he would never force you to do anything you're not comfortable with, then, removed his helmet and turned his back to you in your shared bed to show you he means you no harm.
Mandalor Din Djarin, who tried to make these changes as easy as possible for both of you, giving you space when you didn't have to deal with royal responsibilities together or make public appearances. Who sometimes feels just as trapped as you, often longing for his simpler days of bounty hunting. Who accepts you both have to make the best of this situation and, after a period of adjustment, began to initiate simple conversations with you at dinner times in hopes to understand you better and vice versa. Who slowly began to see the quick witted woman beneath the "proper lady" image you no doubt had been groomed to present your entire life, and began to enjoy the exchanges every evening, and noticed that you too, had began to relax in his presence and even offer him genuine smiles; smiles he had not prepared himself for and made a warmth in his chest bloom every time.
Mandalor Din Djarin, who always makes sure to ask your opinion on matters of state during official meetings- against the whispered advice of some advisors, who'd implied you should just be there to "Look the part" and nothing more. Who had begun to value your input more than certain council members and makes no secret of it. Who, erupts in fury when one of the members dares to publicly disrespect your authority- calling you a foreign acquisition, who's sole purpose is to produce Mandalorian heirs. Who doesn't think twice before un-leashing the Dark Sabre and holding so close to the man's throat he can smell the skin burning, warning everyone present that the next time anyone dares to disrespect his Riddur, their Queen, heads will literally roll. Who'd dismissed the room and only begun to calm down when your hand settled on the un-armoured part of his shoulder and, instead of calling him "My Lord" (as you always had), you simply called him Din.
Mandalor Din Djarin, who didn't expect the shift between you both since that moment in the council chambers. Who found himself drawing closer to you as the weeks went on, noticing that you seemed just as receptive to him as he is to you. Who, on a number of occasions detected your rising pulse and quickening heartbeat through his helmet's sensors when you looked at him for too long. Who had woken up early one morning to find you, not sleeping on your side of the bed, but on his bare chest, his arm finding the curve of your waist in his sleep. Who dared not move, lest he wake you and ruin this surprisingly perfect moment. Who realised with startling clarity that, despite the rocky start of this arranged marriage, he'd fallen hopelessly in love with his Queen and he suspects you may feel the same way.
Mandalor Din Djarin, who, after an unexpected attack on the still growing capital city, almost lost you to an ambush while you were escorting the foundlings to a safe room. Who viciously cut down every enemy in his path to get to you, and only when the doctor had assured him you'd suffered no injury, did he drop to his knees in front of you in the privacy of your bed chamber, rip his helmet off and confess his love for you. Who's heart swelled when you dropped to your knees with him and through rolling tears, cupped his face and cried that you love him too! Who, that night made tender love to you in the marital bed, slipping into euphoria as he pulled orgasm after orgasm from your shuddering body. Who worshiped every inch of you and received just as much reverence from you in return as you both drowned in the intimacy of one another. Who held you while you slept, stroking his hand up and down your bare shoulder and felt, for the first time since becoming Mandalor, that as long as he has you by his side, maybe he can do this job after all.
Also feel like that because Pope didn't exactly grow up being exposed to "normal kid friendly" programming growing up that once he and Reader have kids he kind of gets lost in Sesame Street...
He grew up watching nature documentaries and tv that was far too violent for someone as young as him.
So, he never really remembers watching cartoons that often. So, Saturday morning he's sitting up with his kids with juice and watching Tom and Jerry and Sesame Street...like the man is genuinely watching it and not in the way parents watch tv with their kids...the man is paying attention. His kids love it and Reader understands the reasons why.
Pope would totally want his kids to have as normal of a childhood as possible and in a lot of ways the normal simple parts of childhood feel healing for Pope. His innerchild gets to be soothed by Big Bird, legos, and playdough...
You cup Pope’s face so you get him to look at you, “I know you didn’t want to do all of those things. I know that this is life you were born into, that you were taught was normal. I’m not forgiving you for what you did but I understand why you did it. And I still love you because I know you are good, caring person, Andrew. You are.”
He sniffles and shakes his head, “I don’t deserve someone like you. Someone good.”
“You deserve good things, Andrew,” you murmur as you wrap your arms around him, letting him bury his face into your neck as he cries.
Andrew Pope Cody and Artist Reader will absolutely watch nature documentaries together. Reader makes him watch one about penguins and maybe manages to get him to smile just the slightest when she comments that she thinks the fact that penguins mate for life is really sweet and lovely.
She makes him watch one about whales too because she insists whales are amazing animals just because of how crazy it is to think humans can exist on the same planet with such huge creatures.
She gets weepy when an animal is hurt and Pope can’t find it in himself to tell her that it’s natural and some animals must die so others can live. He can’t tell Reader that the brutality is necessary much like the way Smurf would tell him when he was a child upset over a rabbit being killed by a hawk.
Pope wants Reader to keep her soft heart even if he worries someone will harm her due to that softness.
So, he holds her hand when she comments that seeing a lion kill a gazelle makes her feel sad even if she knows the lion had to eat.
He points out the baby elephants sucking on their trunks for comfort and how sea otters hold hands while floating on their backs because he knows she will stop focusing on the dead gazelles and the brutality of nature.
For the first time Pope finds himself watching animal documentaries and not seeing the harshness of nature. He’s not focused on predators killing prey or animals being forced to face the danger of extinction.
He’s seeing the softer parts of nature that Reader points out. It’s just another tiny way Reader makes the world seem a little less cruel.
Reader realizing how much messes unnerve Andrew Pope Cody and figuring out that he likes to leave sponges in the window seal. He likes the takeout to be sorted neatly in Tupperware and dated with freezer tape a permanent marker. He likes the dishes to be neatly sorted in the dishwasher rinsed and ready to go, not in the sink. He likes the cereal boxes arranged by color and height. The cleaning gloves are stored neatly and never put away wet. Please don't overwater the houseplant by the window seal cause waters gonna get everywhere and standing water is a bacteria breeding ground. The fridge is always cleaned out. Rotting food is never left unattended. Expiration dates are respected.
Reader isn't always perfect, but she makes an effort. That's more than anyone has ever done for Pope.
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Titus brags to other husbands in the elite Le bail circle about exclusive restaurants he takes his wife to and designer items he buys her….marriage is a competition and Titus is gonna win….always trying to one up every single one of his peers by buying better gifts for his wife than they buy for their wives
And when he becomes a parent he’s even more obnoxious. Oh you rented out the zoo for your kid’s birthday that’s quaint Titus rented out an aquarium and four build a bears…why four uh cause Titus JR wanted more than one bear and needed variety, duh
Titus Danforth is a “wife guy” in the most violent toxic way possible. He’s gleefully and lovingly talking about his wife but it’s usually while he’s disemboweling someone dumb enough to disrespect Titus’ wife…
Titus literally hunting a human for sport while talking on the phone with one of country club friends about how they have to move their tennis match to next week cause he promised Mrs. Danforth they’d take their private jet out to dinner at this new experimental Japanese French fusion restaurant. “It’s date night!” He explains as he stabs someone who pissed off the Danforth family and earned a spot as prey in a human hunt.
Evil wife guy Titus Danforth. He knows where his priorities lie.
Deep into your whirlwind relationship, one day out of… jealousy? Bitterness?- Cath tries to make a move on Pope. (She misses his attention- obsession- now that she can’t have it.)
And Pope responds in absolute disgust.
“I’m a married man. Just because that means nothing to your husband doesn’t mean that means nothing to me.”
fem!reader x pope Cody !! you needing Andrew even though you told your self it was a bad idea over and over again but at this point you didn’t care …
( “You came.” “You called..” )
you pace back in forth around your bed in your bedroom like it's the only thing keeping you steady, like if you stop moving you'll feel it all at once, the wanting, the need to feel him close, his voice in your head that never really leaves.
your phone is already in your hand, thumb hovering over his name that lights up on your screen... " Should I? Or shouldn't... you know it's a bad idea to do it... you go sit at the edge of your bed your knees a little shaky.. "you actually did it, you actually hit the call button "
It nearly rang when he picked up, "yeah " he says his voice little rough.... "Andrew" you're voice cracking just a little as you try to clear your throat...
"Hey he says slower this time, is everything okay?.... Please you say can you just come over? "yeah?" softer this time. less distance. your fingers tighten around the phone. you almost don't say it. you should hang up. you should not be doing this again. You should just not want him, but you do anyway. "i need you."
I'm on my way, is your location on? He asked .. you nod, "yeah" you say I'm at my apartment you say softly... "give me five minutes
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I feel like Pope Cody trying to drop hints that he liked you would be like a bird trying to court another. Mainly in the way he would throw shiny stuff at you.
He’d get interested in only robbing high end jewelry stores, and if any of his family asked, he would simply say they were the most reliable in getting money out of.
The day after a heist, you’d wake up to the tings of a 24k gold ring being batted across your floors by your cat, just to find enough jewelry to pay for someone’s mortgage on your coffee table. Tiffany, Swarvoski, Cartier, Van Cleef, all in a pile. It had to be intentional—all the necklaces, bracelets, and anklets were clasped to ensure they didn’t tangle. You probably would have no idea who it is.
And when you confide in Andrew Cody, a acquaintance in your life, he just shrugs his shoulders and points out how a lot of the jewelry has your birthstone.
since becoming friends with deran, you’ve become acquainted with his brothers. you knew how much of an asshole baz was, the questionable things craig would say, and how sweet andrew was. so craig’s “who, out of all four of us, do find the most attractive?” question didn’t surprise you at all.
“cmon don’t be like that! we all know it’s me” he said. you were all gathered in the living room, something quite strange for you- because despite being used to hanging around the guys, you tried to avoid the cody threshold at all costs, in hopes of avoding smurf. “i’m not answering that, don’t be weird” you say “but it’s not you, don’t you worry about it” you add on. in front of you, pope giggles a little to himself. wether craig’s offended gasp was real or part of the joke, you couldn’t tell. “so that leaves me, pope and deran” says baz, in that awful, smug tone that is always accompanied with a disgusting smirk. you turn to your left to look him, still decided on not answering the question in hopes of not making a fool out of yourself. “i’m not answering that- can we just drop it?” you snarl.
it doesn’t last, because your friend-now-turned-enemy, deran, decides to throw more wood to the fire. “well, i know it’s not me” he says giggling, quickly taking a sip of his beer. you turn your head so quickly so fast you swear you could hear you neck crack. “deran!” you voice. your cheeks aflame, you could feel your arms pits starting to drip. but what started as a fiery hot mess, runs cold quickly when that raspy voice that haunts your mind speaks up. “so is it baz?” your eyes quickly find his hazel ones. his expression unreadable as always. your body now buzzing with unease. you stand from your seat on the couch, acting and feeling more frazzled than you anticipated. “i’m not doing this. don’t you guys know what a boundary is?” you say as you look around, everywhere but andrew’s eyes. “not really” he voices, sounding almost annoyed.
“well i have more important things to do, so if you excuse me” you respond as you grab your bag and make your way out of the living room. as you’re sliding the glass door, you feel deran’s hand on your arm “hey. i’m sorry we didn’t- come back. come on!” you shake your head as he continues to speak, already making your way through the backyard, but you hear him following after you. “i was drunk, and i told you that in confidence. i would never- not in a million years- make a joke or talk about your business with others, so why do you think it’s okay to air out mine? especially when the person in question is around” you’ve reached your car, opening the door to the backseat to throw your bag and quickly shutting it again with a loud thud. before you reach the handle of the driver seat, a wave of hot awfully shame washes over you, you slide your hand down your face as you whisper profanities to yourself. “i mean, seriously, deran! i see andrew all the time, this is so embarrasing” you say as you shake your head. “i’m sorry. i just- i just thought that- that maybe you would get the guts to tell him?” he replies.
before you can even reply you hear “what?” behind you. but you knew that voice. the raspy, sweet like honey voice that would follow you through quiet, long drives. the same voice that would appear in you dreams from time to time, the voice that belonged the man that you wishes was yours…but belonged to someone else.
your eyes widen, and deran’s gaze mirrors yours.
fuck.
guysssssss if this sucks lol i’m sorry. haven’t written in ages. something short i wrote on my phone lol it came out angstier than expected. summer break is finally hereeeee which might mean that i have more time to write (although i have a million things to do so we’ll see about that). it feels good to be back and get this writing mind mouse rolling. INBOX ALWAYS OPEN! if u have any tips, critique or just ideas lmk :p might write a part 2 idk 🫰happy pride month !
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