call me nat🌸

“Don’t worry too much, I’m sure you did great,” my brother’s words knocked me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him with a small smile, “Still, can’t help but to worry,” I shrugged. I had just finished my defense a few minutes ago, and the Professors were currently discussing my result inside the meeting room. I was outside of the meeting room with my siblings- they had waited for me from the very beginning. My parents were unfortunately away for a meeting in another city right now, but they would return later today, so we could still have a celebration tonight. Jongdae was also supposed to come, but he was probably still on his way to KU, since my sister did say that he was still in the middle of a meeting when I was about to start my presentation two hours ago.

The door to the meeting room opened, and Professor Lee Sunhee popped her head out of the room, “Come in, Seoyeon,” she smiled, “We have your result,” she went back inside the room. Both my siblings gave me a brief hug, then I inhaled a deep breath and went in after her. Professor Lee Sunhee, my supervisor while I was an intern at Kyunghee, was also my thesis supervisor, somehow, but she was counted as an ‘off-campus’ supervisor, as she was not a Professor in KU. Therefore, KU also invited her as an attendant in my thesis defense, and so here she was. I only know about this last night though, because she suddenly sent me a text to cheer me up for my defense today. It made me wonder on how she knew when my defense was, and she told me about it then.

“So, how did you think you do, Seoyeon?” one of the examiners, Professor Kwon asked me. “I don’t know, honestly,” I shrugged with an unsure smile, wondering on whether my other friends had this kind of small talk before the announcement. My other examiner, Professor Dong smiled reassuringly at me, “Just relax Yeon-ah, your presentation was good,” he started. “You explained all the important points of your thesis well within fifteen minutes only, and the confidence that you exuded while presenting was amazing too,” he continued. “We know that you are used to do business presentation in your family’s company, so I think that sort of helped your performance today,” Professor Kwon continued. I gave out a thankful yet sheepish smile at that, “I suppose you can say that.”

“You also answered the questions smoothly, and so,” he looked at me, giving that dramatic pause. “We have no choice...” he paused again and it made me groan. Both Professor Lee and Professor Dong snickered at the stink eye I gave Professor Kwon. Both of my examiners were among the first Professors in our major, which mean that they have taught me since I was a freshman. It was a definite that we were close, and could act as friends sometimes, when it was not in class. “You’re so sensitive these days,” Professor Kwon rolled his eyes. “You get an A,” he told me before I could retort back. I froze up in shock, not believing on what I just heard, “What?”

“Congratulations!” Professor Lee ran up to me and hugged me. The two males also came up to me to congratulate me. “You did so well, we can’t give anything else other than an A to you, Yeon,” Professor Dong congratulated me. “Wow,” the surprise on my face was still evident, as Professor Kwon snickered after congratulating me. “Now, let’s take a picture first, then you can go out.” We took turns in taking the picture, and even called up my brother to help taking a picture of the four of us. Neither me nor the Professors told him the result just yet though. Once done, my brother went out first as the Professors told me a little on which part I should revise, before submitting the final version next week.

“It’s up to you on how you want to submit them, you can either send it to me or Professor Lee here or Professor Dong and we’ll take care of it for you, or through one of your friends or siblings, either way is fine for us,” Professor Kwon commented before I could remind him that I would not be here in person for the submission. “Professor Kwon and I will also personally talk this out with the school, as you’ve gained permission up until the Dean anyway, so don’t worry about it,” Professor Dong added. I grinned sheepishly at that, “Sorry for troubling all of you Professors.” Professor Lee waved her hand dismissively, “No need to worry about that Yeon-ah, just do your best, and best of luck for your studies.” I smiled gratefully at them for understanding my situation- like I said, my decision was extremely rushed and possibly rash, but the decision had been made.

“Oh, right! When is your flight by the way?” Professor Lee asked before I exited the meeting room. “Ah, on Monday evening,” I grinned sheepishly, knowing full well that they had the same thought as me and basically everyone else around me. “You’re really...” Professor Dong trailed off, and it was picked up by Professor Kwon, “Rushed and rash,” he nodded his head knowingly. “I know, Professors, you guys are not the first to say that,” I scowled at him. I heard those words too many times to count already just within a week. “Well anyways, good luck with your studies, and don’t forget to visit us whenever you’re here,” Professor Dong was the one to stop our bantering this time. “Now, get out of here,” Professor Kwon shooed me after he and Professor Lee wished me luck too. I only scrunched my face at him but still thanked them all once more before getting out of the room.

“I got an A!” I blurted out in excitement once I got out. My sister squealed and hugged me, then my brother did the same. “Oh my God, congratulations!” my sister yelled- she seemed to be more excited than I was. “We know you can do it,” my brother smiled and ruffled my hair. I smiled back at them. “By the way, here are for you,” each of them produced a flower bouquet, pink lilies from my brother, and yellow tulips from my sister. I took them both with a grin- both were one of my favorite flowers, “Thank you Eonni, Oppa.”

“And this is another one for you,” another bouquet of sunflower was suddenly presented on my face from my right. Surprised, I turned and found the owner of the hand to be my sister’s boyfriend. “Congratulations Yeon,” he side-hugged me. “Thanks, Jongdae-oppa,” I only grinned as I could not hug him back due to the numerous bouquets on my hand. “Thank you for coming, you really don’t have to, you know?” I told him. The temporary President of Samsung was a bit out of breath, and I assumed that he was running here from his car. He just shrugged, “Here, let me help you,” he took all my bouquets. “I can-”

“Congratulations, Choi Seoyeon,” another voice from behind me stopped me from taking my bouquets back from Jongdae. I turned around, and my jaw went slack upon seeing him. The unexpected male chuckled at my speechlessness. “Surprise?” he tilted his head. I snapped out of my initial surprise and immediately went to engulf him in a bear hug, dismissing my other bouquets that was now held by Jongdae and my sister.

“Junmyeon-oppa!” I pulled away from the hug with a huge grin. He mirrored my expression and handed me the bouquet of peach colored roses that he was holding. “What- how-” I could not form my questions properly due to the surprise. He patted my head with a soft smile on his face, “I would not miss your defense for the world- nor your graduation later on.” I rolled my eyes, but the smile could not be wiped out of my face. As much as I would like to nag him, he already flew all the way back to Seoul anyway. “So that’s why you didn’t call and only texted me last night,” I wondered with a smile. He chuckled again, “Yeah, you would’ve known that I was on the plane if we video-called.”

“So,” the other three approached me and Junmyeon; the couple was holding on to my other bouquets, while my brother was holding on to my other stuffs. “Let’s take a picture in front of the old library,” he said as I took some of my stuffs from him- my phone, mainly. “Then we can go have dinner with our parents too- you choose where you want to eat at, Yeon.” I blinked my eyes at them, “Fish and chips.” Jongdae rolled his eyes at that, “Of course, what else could she want other than going back to the UK,” he muttered under his breath. I slapped his arm at that, “I’m not going back to the UK,” I scowled at him then turned my phone on. Jongdae rolled his eyes back playfully, “Oh yeah, you’re going to another different continent.” I ignored him and proceeded to call my parents to tell them about my defense and where to have dinner later- they had just landed back at Gimpo airport, apparently.

“Right, your friend, Bae Joohyun, is having her thesis defense today too, right?” Junmyeon, who was standing beside me, started after I finished calling my parents. There were many other students who had just finished their thesis defense and were taking pictures in this iconic place too, so we were kind of queuing to take our pictures. “Oh, yeah,” I nodded my head. “Our defense starting time was exactly the same, but I don’t know whether she’s done or not, so I’ll probably just text her later,” I told him. It was unfortunate, really, because for as long as we remember, both of us promised to be there for each other on our thesis defense. But nothing could be done about our coincidental defense time.

“By the way, Oppa,” Junmyeon hummed. “For real, why are you here?” I wondered. He scrunched his face playfully at me, “What, I’m not allowed to come to your defense now?” I snorted at that, “You know what I mean,” I rolled my eyes at him. He sighed, “Well, I do have a monthly board meeting on Monday morning, so why not just return a few days earlier,” he shrugged. “And don’t worry, everything is already settled there, so I have nothing to do for now anyway,” he added. “You do know that you don’t have to come here, literally,” I told him, “And what, Samsung can’t afford a teleconference meeting now?” I raised a brow at him. He scowled at me, “It’s the third time I heard that- can’t you just be thankful that I actually came here for you?” I snickered at his response and gave him a side-hug as my other hand was still holding onto the rose bouquet that he gave me, “Fine, thank you so much for your attendance, President Kim,” I exaggerated on his title, my lips tilted up in a teasing smile. He just shook his head with a small smile on his face.

“Come on, it’s our turn!” my sister dragged me up to the perfect spot to take picture. We took the pictures by turn, each one of them with me holding the bouquet they gave me, some pictures with both my siblings and then with both the Kim-s, and finally the whole group- we asked the people who were going to take their photos after us for help. After taking a whole lot of pictures, the men helped with my bouquets and stuffs, while my sister and me were looking and commenting on some candid pictures while walking back to our cars. My siblings and I were going to be in a car, while Jongdae and Junmyeon would be riding Jongdae’s car. Turned out, my siblings already knew that Junmyeon was going to come, and they were lying when they told me that Jongdae was having a meeting before coming to KU- he was actually picking Junmyeon up at the airport.

“Choi Seoyeon!” someone called my name. We all looked behind us where the voice was coming from, and Bae Joohyun was smiling widely at me. I immediately ran up to hug her as the others took slow steps instead. “Joohyun-ah!” I released our hug, “How’s your defense?” She grinned at me, and I knew the answer before she said it, “I got an A! And you? You must’ve got an A too, right?” I only grinned back at her and we both squealed in delight while congratulating each other.

“Seoyeon-ah,” another voice called me. It was only then I noticed the presence of another person behind Joohyun. My smile dimmed a little, not expecting him to be here- but I kind of guessed it at the same time. “Hi, Sehun,” I greeted back politely. “Congratulations on your defense,” he sent me an unsure smile. With the same polite and business-like smile on my face, I nodded my head, “Thanks,” then turned my attention back to Joohyun, not giving him anymore attention. “So, where are your parents? And did Kim Jongin and Kim Heechul ditched on you?” I raised a brow at her. She scrunched her face in reply, “I think my parents are with yours- they mentioned something about having a meeting with the Choi-s-”

“Wait, seriously?” I blinked my eyes in surprise at the new information. “They didn’t tell me that...” I pursed my lips. Then, as if lightbulbs were turned on in our heads, both Joohyun and I deadpanned. “They ditched us,” Joohyun started. “Yeah, and currently just got back from having fun in Jeju,” I continued. By then, my siblings and the Kim-s were already standing near us. “Heechul-hyung doesn’t come?” my brother asked Joohyun.

“He was here earlier with Jongin, but they got an emergency call in the office, and so they were gone,” Joohyun shrugged. “They said they will come to my house tonight,” she added. Both my siblings and the Kim-s then congratulated Joohyun on her successful defense, but barely acknowledge Sehun who was still standing behind Joohyun. Upon seeing the four of them, I got a feeling that Sehun wondered whether something was wrong as I could feel the chilly glares from behind me, and it was not directed to me at all. I saw that Sehun wondered if he had done something to offend the four, but I suppose he was not that dense since he did not dare to voice them out. All the while, I ignored the tension in the air and kept on engaging Joohyun in a conversation- it was also to distract her from finding out the situation at hand.

“Yeon, I think we should go now,” Junmyeon called me out, “Your parents are calling Siwon-hyung now, they probably just got out of the airport and on their way already,” he added. Just then, Joohyun’s phone also rang. She pursed her lips upon seeing that it was her parents. “And I suppose my parents just got out of the airport too,” she said. “You know, let’s celebrate later, after the final deadline, just the two of us,” she told me with a smile. “I need a little girls time to get away from him,” she playfully jabbed a thumb at Sehun who was still slightly standing behind her. “You don’t tell me that he’s possessive as hell as a boyfriend,” she scrunched his face. I chuckled at that although my heart was thumping painfully. While the news was supposed to not be a surprise for me, I still did not expect them to spill it out just like that. Junmyeon, on the other hand, did not see that coming, “Both of you are dating?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sehun scratched his head as the two of them blushed, “We just started dating a few days ago,” he told us. I forced a smile at them, “Congratulations,” I felt Junmyeon tightened his grip on my shoulder- of course, he would know how I really feel. “You guys better treat each other well and make each other happy, okay?” I pointed a finger at them. “Yeah, congratulations” Junmyeon added with a nod of his head. Joohyun came forward to hug me, “Thank you so much, Yeon-ah,” she whispered. I hugged her back as tightly as I subtly could, “It’s nothing, just promise me that you’ll be happy,” I whispered back, trying to hold my tears back. We released the hug and she nodded her head at me as the answer from before. “Now, let me answer my mom’s call, and see you next week!” she waved a goodbye. I did not dare to answer her and simply waved back.

“Let’s go,” I told Junmyeon, ignoring the presence of Oh Sehun who still stood in front of us. “Wait! Yeon-ah-” Sehun stopped us just as Junmyeon started to stir me away from him. “Yes?” I asked once we faced him again. “I... uhm...” he glanced at Junmyeon for a brief second, “Can I talk to you? Alone?” I felt Junmyeon squeezed my shoulder- it was a silent question whether I wanted to be left alone with Sehun or not. I glanced up at the older male and nodded my head. Junmyeon pursed his lips, not trusting Sehun enough to leave the two of us alone, but he respected my decision. “Oh Sehun,” he nodded as a final greeting to the younger male. “President Kim,” Sehun replied back. Junmyeon walked back to my siblings and his cousin, who were all subtly spying at me and Sehun.

“So...” Sehun started again once he was sure that Junmyeon was out of hearing range. “That night at the airport, Kim Junmyeon was implying about me, right? And not Kim Jongdae?” he asked me straight to the point, without any other talk. “Huh?” I definitely did not see it coming. “He...” Sehun licked is lips, “He was very hostile when he said it, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have talked about Jongdae like that,” he added. I pursed my lips, not exactly knowing how to reply him. What he said was the truth anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun continued, not waiting long enough to let me reply him. “I... didn’t realize that you were lonely after I left Suwon- you really should’ve just told me, you know?” I wanted to scream at him right then and there; that yes, I was lonely- but it was not simply because he left Suwon, but because he ignored me and it had actually happened before he finished his internship. It fucking hurt knowing that he only used me as a rebound- he came to me when Yoo Aeri broke up with him, but then simply erased me out of his life when he found Bae Joohyun. I really wanted to yell it out to him, but I could not.

“Junmyeon-oppa was really talking about Jongdae-oppa though, what are you talking about?” I forced a smile out of my face. Hearing the words from my own mouth seemed to reassure him that it was the truth as I could see him visibly relax. However, it was nowhere near the truth. Junmyeon’s reasons that night were mere lies- Jongdae’s deadline for his thesis submission had been announced even before I became an intern at Kyunghee, and it was a public knowledge that the thesis defense usually happened within a month after the thesis submission. In other words, from the very beginning when I moved to Suwon, we already knew that Jongdae was going to graduate months before I finished my internship.

“But you were lonely, weren’t you?” he muttered. I sighed, “It has passed anyway, so just forget about it,” I told him. “And congratulations again, with Joohyun,” I added. He finally smiled and let go of the topic earlier. It pained my heart when he seemed to be happy to finally talk about another topic, although he was the one who started it even though I did not want to talk about it too.

“Thank you, Yeon-ah,” he sincerely thanked me. “Like I said, Joohyun and I can get to know each other thanks to you, so let us repay you back one day,” he smiled at me. I simply hummed in reply, not believing my own voice. Any further talk about it, I would have cried right then and there- and probably spilled out that there might be no more ‘one day’ for us anytime soon, or ever again. Thankfully, I was saved by a call on his phone.

“Oh, it’s Joohyun,” he took his phone out of his pocket. “Well, I have to go now, see you around, Yeon-ah, and congratulations on your defense once again,” he smiled again and turned around to look for his girlfriend. I stared sadly at his retreating back and let the tears fall freely from my eyes.

“Goodbye, Oh Sehun.”

Goodbye, my first love.

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Taglist: @layzfeelit

A/N: And there goes the end of 'Been Through'! Before anyone get angry, yes, it is not a happy ending, because I've never meant for the story to have a happy ending. In case you don't realize, I've categorized the genre with 'angst' and 'drama', without 'romance' or 'fluff' or anything of a kind. I've also tagged them as a 'slice of life', because the story is a literal slice of life. Of course there are parts that I changed and added for the sake of this story, but you can say that around 60-70% of what happened in the story is based on personal experience. That's why if you thought that there are some part that seems too weird or too realistic or too well-thought just for a fanfic like this- those parts are probably the ones that happened in real life haha. It was a complicated and tough time, really, and looking back now... I honestly wondered if all of this really happened just a few years ago.

It was only three days after that, when I started to get numb to the feeling, and tried to focus on the impending final revisions of my thesis to distract my mind of what happened. It worked until now, when unexpectedly, a call came from Bae Joohyun. I also had not contacted Joohyun since the incident at the airport- although it had nothing to do with her. Well, okay, it did, but nothing directly damaged my friendship with her, because she was in the dark of all this anyway. All that she knew was Sehun was a close friend of mine, just like she was to me, and period. It was not easy though, because like I said, my heartache both had something and nothing to do with her.

“Hey, Hyun, what’s up?” I answered the call in the end. “Get ready, I’m picking you up in half an hour,” she told me without further explanation. I choked on nothing, “What?”

“You heard me Yeon; you and I both know that we need a small break from thesis,” she reasoned, “So we’re having girls time tonight,” she said again. I scrunched my nose, I did need a small break from everything, although somewhat preferably not with her. But then again, she was in the dark of everything. “I can’t say no, can I?”

“Nope.”

“Where are we going by the way?” I sighed, knowing that I could not deny her request no matter what. “Probably Hongdae, I still haven’t had the chance to go to that Harry Potter themed café.” Well, that was a temptation. I huffed, “Fine, see you later,” we hung up the call.

And that was how I ended up having a life update with the one and only Bae Joohyun two hours after the call. I actually hesitated and almost cancelled the plan when a thought of Sehun being with us came into my mind- but then I remembered she said that it was going to be a girls time, which usually meant only the two of us and no one else. We also had just finished dinner earlier in a dalkgalbi restaurant nearby, and were now having a heart-to-heart talk inside the infamous 943 Kings Cross Harry Potter Café in the heart of Hongdae.

“Enough about me,” I told her. After talking a little about our thesis defense preparation and business, the topic mostly revolved around me- apparently there were rumors about how I was close with Samsung’s President- well, the currently inactive President, Kim Junmyeon. I told almost everything to Joohyun, of course, and emphasized on how Junmyeon and I were just friends and nothing else. He had said that he only saw me as a little sister anyway. “What about you? Anyone you fancy now?” I asked her as I sipped on my caramel macchiato.

She blushed at that, “Sort of, that’s why I want to talk to you,” she muttered under her breath. My heart panged at the possibility of who that someone was- I just had a hunch. “What? Is it Oh Sehun?” I raised a brow. Her face went an even deeper shade of red if possible, “Is it that obvious?” I snorted, trying to seem playful although the pain in my chest was multiplying. “Is it not obvious?” I gave out a teasing grin at her. “Oh come on Seoyeon!” she groaned and hid her red face behind her arms. I could only laugh at her.

“It’s been a while since you like someone, Hyun-ah,” I smiled softly at her. She bit her lips then, “It is, but... I don’t want to come between you and Sehun, Yeon,” she whispered. I blinked my eyes and felt my heart beat faster, did she know that I liked Sehun? “What do you mean?” I asked her. “Well, here it goes,” she muttered under her breath. “Don’t you like Sehun, Yeon-ah?” I felt my heart stop right then and there, but I still managed to keep my expressions neutral. “Sehun and I are just friends, Hyun,” I told her. “But the two of you seem...” she trailed off with a shrug. I sighed, “There’s nothing between us, Hyun, believe me.”

As much as I wish there’s something between us, there’s actually nothing, I thought to myself.

Now it was Joohyun’s turn to sigh, “Well, if you say so; I guess that’s one question out of the list,” she nodded to herself. “There are other questions?” I tilted my head to her. “Yeah, it’s uhm...” I could see that she was wrecking her brain to find the right words. “As you know, we’re quite close with each other now, so I think it’s going to be weird if I date him... right?”

“I just, don’t know what to do, I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him if this doesn’t work out,” she bit her lips again. It was a habit of hers when she was anxious about something. “With the way you’re wording this out... he had told you that he likes you, didn’t he?” I gave out a sad smile. She did not notice it however, as she was clouded with her own thoughts. She nodded her head at that, then slumped down on her seat again with her face on top of her folded arms on the table. “I really... don’t want to lose our friendship,” she murmured as she looked out the window.

I bit my own lips to prevent my tears from pouring out- I could not believe that I was going to give an advice to a friend, an advice that I resolutely rejected this whole time. “If you’re sure of how you’re feeling, then just go for it,” I told her softly, “You might regret it for life if you don’t,” I quirked a small smile when she glanced at me.

“Are you sure it won’t ruin our friendship?” she whispered. I forced myself to smile without spilling out the tears in order to tone down her anxiousness.

“I’m his close friend for a long time, so trust me; if he’s serious, he won’t let you go,” I reached out to hold her hand in mine. “He will cling onto you like you’re his lifeline, that, I can assure you,” I squeezed her hand to reassure her, although my own words were piercing my heart.

“Thank you, Yeon-ah,” she squeezed my hand back. “You won’t regret it, I promise you,” I gave her the final reassurance.

You’ll have your happy ending with Sehun, Joohyun-ah, unlike me.

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