Your relationships will be richer if you also allow people to love you the way that they love, and not only in the way that you're used to perceiving love. You'll miss out on a lot if you're only looking for it in the same places you're used to giving it.
I love by problem solving, remembering small things that people like and make them happy--like little notes in the margins of our relationships, a silent squeeze on the arm to reach out and connect.
I have a friend who loves by asking if she can send me a recipe for Japanese egg and rice when she knows I'm having a bad time. I have a (cishet) friend who loves by messaging to tell me he's just finished reading He/She/They by Schuyler Bailar. I have a friend who loves by telling me "I love you" openly and as often as possible. Some love by telling you things they won't tell to another living person, some love by going six months without talking but answer in five minutes when you message them at work, and some love by not knowing how to show their love, but never leave you out in the cold when you ask for somewhere to go and a warm fire.
"Love languages" are largely bunk and were made up by a misogynist, but I can tell you that people do love differently and that it matters to learn how.















