yes hello, i am a mess

some of you seem to be under the unfortunate impression that i enjoy finishing things. i enjoy making things

That German shorthair pointer is sure pointing.

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one 👍

soooo embarrassing to get obsessed w a specific character when no one else gives a damn. like yeah heres post #574934. heres au idea #26482. heres art piece #9383. yes its all about the same person, yes i am rambling in the corner blair witch style. feel free to shoot me dead for this btw

Rip Geralt of Rivia you would have loved wearing a knee brace and taking ibuprofen

this was made by a non catholic because dick is step 2

Isn't it shoulder, shoulder, head, chest?

That isnt true: you have to violently jerk off your penis

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

the worst thing about those fancy pears is that you think “there’s no way a pear could be worth that much” but if you actually make the mistake of tasting one you will be forced to confront the fact that what you thought was pleasure is but a shadow of a shadow and there is a world out there more real than real that your senses have been waiting for, where the colors are richer and the water is wetter and sleep is refreshing. and you’re not invited.

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

lets all kill ourselves