Things Said/Heard on a Sledding Trip
“I’ve got a really big cardboard box, so… tobogganing?”
“God, ‘tobogganing’ sounds so dirty.”
“Should I just… dive at this hill?”
“Well, that didn’t work as expected.”
“Oh, man, that’s a lot of snow in my groin.”
“The important thing is that you tried your best.”
“You look like you’re preparing to be crucified.”
“Oh, typical Sunday afternoon. A little sledding, a little crucifixion.”
“Do you wanna sled down together?”
“Fuck, I thought you were good at steering!”
“Alright, then, YOU wanna steer?”
“Leave me here. It’s alright. My troubles don’t matter anymore.”
“My spirit is strong, but my hands are weak. My hands are the fucking family disappointment.”
“Go for it. Be brave. Gravity is your ally.”
“Oh, these mittens are woefully insufficient.”
“Are we the people who die in the first two minutes of an X-Files episode?”
“If you hear me scream, just know that it’s probably aliens.”
“AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! No, that was actually just snow down the back of my neck, not aliens. Never mind.”
“My gloves aren’t touch-screen compatible- could you take our selfie?”
“Come with me. We can sled away from all the worries of this mortal earth.”
“Wow, you take pretty big steps for someone with such small legs.”
“You wanna build a gingerbread house? The last time I made one, it got thrown in the dumpster because it was a disappointment to humanity, but there’s always another shot. Literally another shot, because the last time I made one I was drunk off my ass.”
“I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLIN RING TING TINGLIN TOOOO”
“Well, that’s definitely cursed.”
“You want hot chocolate? I’ve got the shit with the marshmallows.”
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