Pigeons Mega Pregnancy Meme Starter List
So these are things people would say to someone who is pregnant, and it can have a whole wide range of different relationships from romantic, familial and platonic.
Also there are trigger warnings for potential things like rape, abusive relationships and controlling relationships, as well as miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth and infanticide.
I tried to organise it into sections for ease of access.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”
“Woah, you look fat- wait. You’re pregnant?!”
“It’s a girl/boy? Oh, how wonderful~”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
“Twins?! Are you freaking kidding me?”
“Twins? Oh, my god. Two cute babies at the same time!”
“Twins? Oh, you poor, poor soul.”
“Oh, my lord. Triplets?!”
“Uh-oh, triplets? Triple threat right there.”
“You can have more than one baby at a time?”
“You’re pregnant with twins from your first time?”
“Wait, how many babies did you say you were having?”
“You should go on that Octomom show.”
“This is so great~ Your love has given us two/three babies.”
“Slut, you have that many babies in there?”
“You have that many babies in there?!”
“I’m so proud of you, you’re so fertile~”
“I didn’t think my seed was that fertile, but here we go.”
“How are we going to cope with twins/triplets?!”
“Of course, a whore like you just had to have twins/triplets.”
“Wait, two/three babies at once? That’s possible?”
“How can you even fit that many babies inside yourself at once?”
“Oh my, you’re going to be huge later with all those babies in you.”
“How many months are you?”
“So… is it a boy or a girl?”
“Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“Have you thought of names yet?”
“What are you going to call him/her?”
“Can I touch your belly?”
Positive Partner Reactions
“You’ll never get rid of me now, this child will make us bonded forever~”
“This child will bring us closer together~”
“I’m so happy~ We’ve created something beautiful.”
“You’re pregnant. Finally. Now you won’t leave me.”
“I will be a good father, I swear to you.”
“I will protect you, and our baby.”
“I’m going to be a father? Wow~”
“We’re gonna have a baby~”
“Aren’t you happy, dearest? You’re having my baby.”
“Aren’t you happy? We’re going to have a bond through this child.”
“I’m so proud of you. You have given me the perfect reason to keep you nearby.”
“You’re the best~ Even though you were unsure, you gave me what I wanted, as always.”
“See? Your pregnancy is a sign- we belong together, no matter how much you protest~”
“I’m going to be a father~ I’m so excited, for us.”
“Our family just keeps getting bigger~ Everyone will be so excited.”
“Our parents are going to be so happy~ They’ll love their grandkid so much, I just know it!”
“Our little one is going to be so excited to be a big brother/sister~”
“I will make sure to give them, and you, all the love you desire.”
Negative Partner Reactions
“If you’re pregnant, it better be my child.”
“Are you claiming this to just trap me?”
“Are you serious? Why aren’t you happy about this?”
“I’m not ready for a baby, sorry… ”
“I can’t do this, I never wanted to have a kid with you… ”
“Look at our parents -muse name-. We are gonna be shit parents like them!”
“We’re… my parents were terrible and I don’t think I should be a parent.”
“You’re just a whore, don’t try and trap me with a stinking brat.”
“Aren’t you happy? Why do you want to get rid of our child?”
“Why are you happy about this? I don’t want that parasite.”
Positive Familial Reactions
“I’m gonna be an aunt/uncle/grandmother/grandfather!”
“I wanna be the godmother/godfather!”
“Ooo, name them after me!”
“As the aunt/uncle/grandmother/grandfather of this kid, I will spoil them if I want to.”
“I am so going to be a cool grandma/grandpa/aunty/uncle.”
“Hey, I bought you some stuff for you and the baby.”
“My dear, you’re glowing, I’m so happy for you~”
“I’ll be the best aunt/uncle/grandma/grandpa in the entire world.”
“You cannot stop me from spoiling my grandson/granddaughter/niece/nephew.”
“I’m going to be a big brother/sister? Wow!”
“I hope I get a baby sister/brother.”
“I will protect my baby brother/sister, I promise~”
“Can I help you paint the nursery.”
“I’ll help you plan your baby shower~”
“I’m so proud of you, carrying on the family name.”
Negative Familial Reactions
“You got pregnant by -insert name here-? You brought shame on us!”
“How could you do this to your own mother/father?”
“Of course, you just had to get knocked up by someone as stupid/rough/ugly/poor as him.”
“Get out, whore, you are no longer part of this family.”
“You are just a slut/whore, you have no place with us.”
“Get rid of that child or you will no longer be allowed to call me your mother/father.”
“You will give that child up for adoption when it’s born. We can’t have you bringing up a child outside of marriage, think of our family’s reputation!”
“Why didn’t you think about your family before you let yourself get knocked up by -insert name here- ?”
“We’re locking you in here until you’ve had the child, and then that child is going to be given up for adoption. You are too young/unstable/weak/stupid to care for a child.”
“Disgusting, I don’t even want to look at you. You have disgraced your family name.”
“You’re pregnant? How wonderful~”
“Pregnant again? You’re such a slut.”
“Do you not realise what birth control is?”
“You’re pregnant? Disgusting.”
“What a slut, you’re pregnant again.”
“You’re pregnant? Ugh. Disgusting.”
“Do you even know who the father is?”
“It’s my baby? There’s no way… !”
“It’s my baby? Great~ You can never leave me now.”
“You whore! You got pregnant from an affair?!”
“You… got pregnant? And it’s not mine?”
“You cheated on me… there’s no way it could be my child.”
“It’s okay. I know it wasn’t your fault that you were knocked up by that no-mark.”
“It’s not mine? How could you do this to me?!”
“The baby is not mine? Who else could the father even be?”
“Please don’t lie to me… is it mine?”
“Tell the truth for once! There’s no way I can be that child’s father…”
“I don’t care… I will be the father no matter what.”
“It’s okay, I promise. Even if we don’t share blood, I will care for the little one as if they were my own.”
“Is -insert name here- the father? Tell me the truth, please.”
“Be honest with me, who’s the dad?”
“I know that brat’s dad is -insert muse name here-, so don’t even try to deny it.”
“You cheating whore… why would you have someone else’s kid and not mine?”
“Are you okay? I heard you throwing up… ”
“Aww, are you sick again? Poor mama.”
“Here, the peppermint/ginger tea will help with the nausea.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just rest today if you’re feeling unwell.”
“Let me hold back your hair.”
“You should go rest up if you’re still tired.”
“Carrying a child must be so tiring, let me take care of you.”
“Stop fussing so much and let me take care of you.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor, it surely can’t be healthy to be throwing up so much… ”
“Woah there, friend, just calm yourself.”
“Damn, you’re moodswings are horrific.”
“Why do you have to get emotional at everything?!”
“Hey, hey… calm down, it’s alright.”
“Everything’s going to be fine, don’t cry.”
“Jeez, just chill out with your hormonal self.”
“You know you’re never gonna lose that baby weight if you eat all that.”
“You want to eat that? Okay~”
“You want to eat that? Hold on, then, let me go make it.”
“You are disgusting and there is no way I’m letting you eat that when you’re having my child.”
“How can you eat that? I know cravings are weird, but damn… ”
“Woah. I can’t believe you are eating that.”
“How can you be hungry? I just gave you food.”
“Stop eating everything, fatass.”
“Aw, you’re hungry? Are you gonna beg for me to get you some food?”
“Um, sorry to be blunt, but… I think you’re leaking a little.”
“Hey, cow-tits. You’re leaking a lil’ right there.”
“Ah… dearest, you… you’re kinda… Y’know… -points at breasts- ”
“Don’t resist, dear, but your nipples are so sensitive, I just can’t help it~”
“Stop crying, your boobs can’t ache that much when I touch them.”
“Ahh~ Your boobs are so nice and round, I just want to touch them all day.”
“Can I have a taste of your milk? Please?”
“It’s not weird! Just let me taste your milk.”
“Your milk tastes so sweet~”
“Ew, I’m not tasting that.”
“You want me to drink what? Gross!”
“You forgot again? Jeez, your baby brain is such a drag.”
“You forgot again? Oh, no, don’t worry. Baby brain must be so annoying for you.”
“Why are you yelling at me? I’m not the one with baby brain and forgot everything.”
“Hey, everyone forgets. I’ll help you through your baby brain moments.
“You want me to rub your back/ankles/belly?”
“Stop trying to push me away. Let me touch your tummy.”
“Your boobs are so huge.”
“Your boobs are quite nice, but I bet bras are so expensive for you right now.”
“Stop squirming, I just want to feel your boobs/tummy.”
“Are you ticklish? Just let me touch~”
“You felt them kicking? Can… can I feel?”
“You felt them kicking?! Gross… ”
“You can feel them moving? That’s so weird.”
“You can feel them moving? That’s so cool~”
“Your belly is so round!”
“Ah, how cute~ Your boobs/belly are so sensitive now, huh?”
“Oh wow, you’re like a goddess of motherhood.”
“Haha, you look like a whale/pig.”
“You’re bearing life, you look beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful, all round with my child/ren~”
“You don’t look like a whale, or a pig. You’re absolutely beautiful.”
“They like the sound of my voice?”
“Wait, they react to the sound of my voice? For real?”
“You must be due any day.”
“Due any moment now, huh?”
“I can’t wait to finally see him/her/them~”
“This cannot be happening! You’re way too young/old.”
“Babies having babies? What is the world coming to?”
“You’re pregnant? But I still imagine you as the little one who cried at -insert film name here-!”
“Um, aren’t you a little old/young for having kids?”
“Being pregnant at your age will throw up all kinds of problems.”
“Dear, you should rest more, for the baby’s sake.”
“Put that glass down! You’re pregnant.”
“Put that out! Smoking is bad for the child!”
“Please, try to eat a little healthier, for your baby’s sake.”
“Darling, I know cravings are hell, but you can’t eat that.”
“Pickles are not a good breakfast.”
“But, if you have another baby, what will happen to me?”
“What if I’m not good enough?”
“What if our child is born unwell?”
“What happens if our baby… y’know… isn’t born living?”
“No, no, don’t stress yourself. Think of the baby!”
“Please, just try and think of the baby.”
“Dearest, stop trying to do things to hurt the child.”
“I’ve taken all the dangerous objects out of the house, so you can’t try to hurt yourself or the baby again.”
“Why are you doing this?! It is our child, stop being selfish!”
“If you try and hurt yourself or our baby again, I’ll have to tie you up.”
“Don’t you dare try to harm our child.”
“If you’ve lost our child because of your stupidity, I am going to be very angry.”
“I can’t believe you’d be so heartless as to try and kill my child.”
“We should go to this class together.”
“Oh my god, you’re pregnant too?”
“What if we have our babies at the same time?”
“Our babies could be like besties!”
“What if our babies become best friends? Wouldn’t that be so adorable?”
“Aw, your tummy is so big now.”
“You look so fabulous today, you’re glowing, like some earthy fertility god/ess~”
“Thanks for helping me out at the maternity section. You’re so fashionable, even when you’re pregnant~”
“Hey, I found out my baby is a boy/girl. Do you want the babygrows I bought?”
“Aw man, I found out my child will be a girl/boy. Do you want these blankets/toys I bought?”
“Hey, share some of that with me?”
“Pregnancy buddies? Good idea~”
“Let’s compare stretchmarks/bumps~”
“Oh my god, that happens to you too? I thought I was the only one!”
“I am so glad you understand what I’m going through.”
“You’re having an abortion?”
“You will be having an abortion!”
“You’re not having an abortion? Why not, it’s not like we can care for a child.”
“Get rid of it! I don’t want any bastards in my house.”
“What do you think you’re doing, keeping it? I told you to get rid.”
“Don’t you dare even think about abortion. That child is mine and I decide what you do with it. Got that?”
“Get rid of the brat, or I will.”
“Just give it up for adoption.”
“Don’t give the child up, we can love it.”
“Don’t give the baby up, it’s the thread tying us together.”
“We cannot care for a kid. As soon as it’s born, you will give it up for adoption.”
“You’re giving the baby up for adoption? But why, we could take care of them!”
“The doctor/midwife couldn’t bring him/her around, he/she died… ”
“These doctors are useless! They let our child die.”
“I’m so sorry, love… he/she didn’t make it.”
“He/She is dead. How can this happen?”
“Shhh, shh. It wasn’t your fault.”
“These things just happen. I don’t blame you.”
“It’s not your fault, please don’t blame yourself… ”
“This was all your fault. You didn’t take good enough care and now our child is dead.”
“Our baby is… no, that has to be a mistake… !”
“You should have got rid of it before I had to cause this.”
“Yes, I made you miscarry. You should have obeyed me.”
“Oh, dear. You do realise it’s going to hurt when you go into labour.”
“Did you pee yourself? What? Your waters are breaking?”
“Your waters broke? Oh, my god.”
“We need to get you to a hospital.”
“You’re going into labour? Shit! What do I do?!”
“You’re going into labour. Right, just come here and lay down, it’ll be fine.”
“Fuck! Ow… I think you just broke my hand… ”
“Dear, could… could you loosen your grip a little… ”
“I didn’t think you could scream that loud… ”
“I think my ears are bleeding… ”
“I’m sorry, okay! Please stop cursing me out for knocking you up… ”
“Please stop yelling at me… I’m sorry for making you go through this.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re doing so well~”
“Oh, jeez. What do I do?! I’m not a midwife!”
“Right, just calm down, okay? It’ll only hurt for a bit.”
“Look on the bright side, at least after this you’ll get to meet your child.”
“Don’t worry~ I can help you, just relax.”
“What do you mean the baby’s coming now?”
“The baby is coming now?! It’s too early… ”
“Finally. They sure took their time deciding to be born, huh?”
“Oh, god. Stay with me, don’t pass out!”
“It’s okay. Just breathe… and push.”
“Keep going! You’re almost done.”
“Oh, gross… I should have stayed in the waiting room… ”
“You’re doing so well~ Just a few more pushes.”
“Breathe. It’s going to be okay, the child will be okay.”
“Just take deep breathes… it’s gonna be okay.”
“Ahh, our baby is coming~”
“Okay, first one out. You’re doing well.”
“Oh my god, he/she is so cute!”
“You got through this like a champ.”
“How are you feeling now the baby is finally here?”
“Woah, you screamed so loud during that. Is everything okay?”
“Well done, we have a son/daughter.”
“Well done, it’s a boy/girl.”
“Look at our son/daughter. Isn’t he/she lovely?”
“H-hey… stay awake, please. Your child needs you.”
“It’s okay, I promise… the doctors are coming.”
“Please don’t leave us, the baby needs you alive!”
“Oh god, there’s so much blood!”
“H-hey… are you sure this much blood is normal after giving birth… ?”
“You’re bleeding. Why are you bleeding?”
“Ew, what’s that bloody thing?”
“What the hell is a placenta?”
“Oh, your placenta’s come out now.”
“Are you alright? The baby’s here.”
“Our child is here, love.”
“I’m so proud of you, you delivered our child.”
“Here, you need to give him/her the first milk.”
“You should rest, it’s over now. Our baby is here, they’re safe.”
“Good girl/boy, our child is so cute.”
“Ew, why is it so… pink?”
“Oh. My. God. Look at his/her little toes.”
“She/he has some lungs on her/him.”
“Are babies supposed to be that pink?”
“Babies are actually… kinda ugly, aren’t they?”
“He/She kinda looks like a little alien… ”
“Do all babies look like this when they’re just born?”
“Ah, there we go. She/he is crying now, it’ll be alright.”
“The doctor/midwife managed to bring him/her around, he/she is alive.”
“Oh, thank the heavens he/she is alright.”
“He/she is a fighter, did you hear those lungs?”
“Wow, he/she is a big baby.”
“Oh, he/she is so small… will he/she be okay?”
“D-don’t panic, but… the baby’s not doing so well.”
“Don’t look, it’ll be okay. He/She will be okay, I swear.”
“See? Everything’s fine. The baby/babies are doing so well~”
