Why Is Enterprise Like This??

hello child born between the end of the 1990s and beggining of the 2000s, welcome to my saw trap. in front of you is a computer, you can learn to code and guarantee yourself the only career that will be available in a couple of decades, or you can play around on ms paint and develop a beautiful creative mind that will starve to death forever, you have a few years to choose but by the time you do it'll be too late

at the company holiday party and a buddy proposed "suicide via throwing yourself into the alligator moat at the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid, irrevocably changing the lives of dozens of horrified onlookers" as the coolest way to die which was the most inspired thing i've heard in a while

also, when you make it to the afterlife, i feel like conveying that your death was "alligators, pyramid, memphis" will be real conversation starter with quite a few ancient egyptians

sorry for being pedantic, but the egyptians dealt with crocodiles, not gators

yeah, but they're similar enough that the ancient egyptians would underestand

happy 5th birthday to The Ass Scent

happy 6th birthday to The Ass Scent

The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch

#also when I saw them later downstairs they were indeed holding hands

wow this is too intimate to share with my close friends or family let me put this on my tumblr blog for hundreds of strangers to see

The wise man, when caught naked in public, covers not his junk but his face.