keep moving forward

I’m just so tired.

I swear to god if I throw up one more fucking time I’m getting off this goddamn planet. Thanks!

I feel so hypocritical trying to lose weight because I *know* it’s ok to be fat but I don’t want to be anymore! I have 3+ obesity related chronic conditions and I’d rather not! I’d rather not be dealing with this in my *30s.* Because it was embarrassing as hell being diagnosed with diabetes at 23. (Which it shouldn’t be, but is. People judge you so harshly.) Idk. I feel guilty but I have to do what’s best for me I guess.

I think I need to write a nonfiction ya novel.

I wonder how different things would be if I knew what was physically and mentally wrong with me.

I need to start writing again.

The second I get my insurance figured out I’m getting a neuropsychological evaluation. I need to know what’s wrong with me. I need to know.