don't blame me

         “maybe the could both be the best dancers. take them to different school’s, so colton doesn’t feel like he has to give his siter the limelight. it’s unfair for him to not do something he loves just because he knows his sister might want it somewhat more.” he murmured, but he knew that was something they’d have to talk about together at another time, and with their children afterwards. dalton liked to include them on decisions, especially the ones that involved them. es, they were children and it mainly rest with the parents, but they wouldn’t make their kids do something they didn’t want to do unless it was extremely important - like going to school even though they wanted to lie in. he takes a moment to smile at his children, before eting his dinner with not much to say. the food was too good to warrant words. “does anyone think they can manage dessert, or do we want to see if we can handle daddy’s special ice cream explosion when we get home?” dalton wasn’t good at much, but making the best ice cream based dessert for his family in less than ten minutes was something he was extremely good at.

       he hugged his husband back tightly, rubbing his back gently, “i’m sorry for scaring you.” dalton murmured, referring to the other almost jumping out of his skin when woken. “of course i’m here, a bit later than usual but i’m here.” dalton probably smelt worse than his bar did, with the faint smell of blood mixing with the strong smell of alcohol on his person, but he’d forgotten about his ruined suit the second jory started to sob. “hey, baby, hey, i missed you too.” he whispered, playing with jory’s hair. he knew there had to be a reason jory was back early, a reason more than husbands missing one another. he knew something must have happened he just didn’t know what.

      “it’s okay, it’s fine just– baby, what’s going on? why are you here, and not dancing in an amazing theatre somewhere?” it wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to have his husband back, but he was terrified of what was going on, and he knew that must show on his features. “jory please, you’re scaring me. did something happen? are you well? is anyone hurt?”

       he clung to dalton and considered whispering back that he just missed his husband and wanted to come home. that he wasn’t meant for travel and couldn’t take it. jory saw his husbands concern, and pulled back biting his lip. “everyone’s fine. i just...had to come back,” he whispers. it wasn’t necessarily safe for him to be lifting melodie anymore, or spinning around the stage or jumping ten feet off the ground anymore when he may fall and hurt himself or the baby. jory played with his hands nervously and said, “i’m fine, i am,” he says definitively. he is fine, albeit exhausted and sick to his stomach every now and again. but he’s fine. chris even checked on him and the progress before he came back here. jory’s fine, and the baby is developing right along. and yet jory is still nervous, nervous about bringing a kid into this world, of having to stop his career, of dismantling dalton’s. he always wanted to wait to have children. at least until he was thirty. not young and just starting to make it big.

           the male sipped at his drink as he listened to jory speak, explaining who everyone was. dalton couldn’t help but smile as he listened. “you guys look happy.” he murmured, and then jory’s father took his eyes and it was like he couldn’t look away. he saw the similarities between jory and his father, but then you’d look at his mother and be able to say just the same thing. “i see where you got those beautiful eyes from.”

           he hummed as jory wrapped himself around dalton, and he did the same - careful not to spill his drink. “i wanna say your bed, to be honest but that’s just because i want to see your room.” dalton replied, biting down on his lower lip as jory nuzzled close. “i haven’t come across a single thing about you that doesn’t make me swoon yet. you drive me crazy, jory. you just don’t seem to see it.” dalton smirked, moving to put his glass on a coaster so he could properly wrap his arms around the male in front of him. he wanted to give jory the world, everything he could ever ask for, but for now he guessed he’d have to settle with giving him everything he’d allow, at the moment.

           jory smiles and says, “we are happy. they’ve given me the best life imaginable,” he says. he for the longest time had wished chris to be his true father. to have his blood running through his veins even though he felt bad for thinking such when he had his own father. but chris had been the father had needed so desperately growing up. there was nothing chris had failed to provide for him, no show that chris didn’t see jory as his very own son. and that meant everything. and his mother had adored him, never making him want for anything, no touch that she denied him. he was happy with what he had.” jory nodded and said, “yep, my mother says i look like him. everytime i go home she says i look more and more like my father everyday. makes you wonder when i will reach the paramount of looking like him,” jory laughs softly.

dalton knew it would be like this, which is why he didn’t want jory to go in the first place. they were both busy people, so of course they lost touch over time. first they called each other everyday, then once every other day, and then it just got longer and longer apart. he saw his husbands photos on magazines, the more crude ones questionning the dancers relationship with his non-dancer husband as jory was spotted dancing sensually on a male dancer. it angered him, so he’d ignored jory’s calls for two days. when they finally talked again, things got heated and dalton said some things he hadn’t meant. or, maybe he had, because he wasn’t sure he could believe things jory said any more. dalton didn’t want hour long phone calls every night, he would never expect that from his busy husband, but just five minutes to tell each other they were missed, and loved, and to have a good day or night was all he’d ever asked. yet he’d soon found jory was far too busy having fun to even do that. dalton was left, alone. he’d had no one before jory. very few friends ( they were actually his staff ) and so when jory left, dalton was left alone. he had to watch his husband going out, having fun, dancing on attractive men whilst dalton was working at the club, or sleeping. it was horrible, and if dalton were honest it affected his mental health peraps more than he would have liked.

at work his employee’s complained about his newfound attitude, but he was their boss so them complaining could only make it worse for them. he started to care less about his club - but he forced himself to do the things he needed to do from day to day until eventually he was obsessed with his club once more. he found himself barely leaving work, even sometimes sleeping over to ensure he got more work done. the standards for his staff was higher than ever before, and the same could be said for the customers. dalton had always had a no-abuse policy, but now if someone so much as bad mouthed one of his staff members they’d find themselves thrown out on the streets. he had no time for it. he felt himself falling apart but that just called for more work, and more distractions. most of which meant that him and jory spent less and less time talking to one another.

that particular night had been a hard one, and he didn’t end up home until six in the morning with blood and drinks on his shirt, ruining his favourite suit. there’d been a fight, much like the night he had met jory, but this had led to more people being injured until his security stepped in and threw them all out. it cost dalton a lot of money in the drinks he had to buy to keep pepople happy, an offer them free entry next time they came. he stayed until they closed, and he was the lat out as always, closing up behind himelf. he drove ome, dragging his feet into his apartment and heading for the bedroom.

it was then he noticed that his bed wasn’t empty. he furrowed his brow, wondering who the fuck was in his apartment, and more so in his bed. it wasn’t until he got closer that he realised it was his husband. something happened. he wouldn’t be home if something hadn’t happened. he didn’t know what it was but his stomach dropped and he instantly felt sick. “jory?” has whispered, crouching down near his husband, resting on the bed. “jory? what are you doing here?” he asked, trying to gently wake his husband but the sense of urgency in his voice was clear. he was terrified of what was happening.

jory nearly jumped out of his skin when he was woken up. no one woke him up anymore. jory sprung up and caught sight of his husband. for a moment forgetting why he came here, only happy to see him in front of him again. jory threw his arms around his husbands shoulders burying his face into dalton’s neck. not even considering that perhaps he has frightened his husband by being home a month early. he was just too happy to see the man who he loved again. he sighed and said, “dalton you’re here.” he said more to assure himself than to simply state the fact. he shuts his eyes as he clings to him.

“as long as we don’t let her quit. she could really be like her daddy one day. colton too, if he pushed himself but i think he feels his calling is somewhat different to julia’s.” dalton murmured, before grinning at colton. he loved how happy and excited his son seemed, and now he couldn’t wait to get them back there and dance with the both of them. he’d even have a bar thing installed for the day so that when colton and daddy were waltzing, julia could practice some of her ballet moves as father and son danced together. “we’ll do it next week! and meet daddy for dinner afterwards again, how does that sound ??” he asked his son, and daughter, but he knew that they would both at least enjoy it more than they had enjoyed today. “i think he would too, princess.” dalton chuckled, glancing up at jory with a soft smile. “yes, she definitely needs to go easy on me. i think that i might be a hard student to teach, so you better get the little ballerina all prepared.” finally their dinner was put in front of them all, and all of the orders were right ( thank god ), and soon he tucked into his own meal, eating his fries first like always. “everything good, guys?”

                dalton couldn’t help but chuckle at how jory seemed to be sneaking him in, but he decided not to question it. he figured it would be something to do with his neighbours rather than dalton himself. once in his apartment, dalton couldn’t help but look around. the place was full of photo’s and whilst he didn’t know the people in them, he could guess that the beaming woman was jory’s mother, and the male that appeared in the majority of the photos was his step dad. there was also a male and female that could only be jory’s siblings, unless they were other family members. he loved how personal that jory made it, so much so a smile came to his lips. “i’m okay for a drink, thanks. and a tour ?? don’t want to give you too much pressure to show me to your bedroom.” dalton smirked, tearing his eyes away from the various picture to look back at jory once more. “your mothers a beautiful woman. i– i assume that’s her, in most of the photos ??” he asked for clarification, but it wasn’t really needed. it was obvious just from looking at her, and then back to jory.

          “however, i do seem to remember that you said cuddles were certainly on the cards ??” dalton hinted, a grin coming to his lips as he laced his fingers in with jory’s, squeezing his hand. “i love your apartment.” he murmured, biting down on his lower lip before glancing at jory. “it’s personal, and kinda puts your life on display, but that’s who you are. i can tell you love your family, and that just makes me swoon even more.”

                jory smiled and said, “of course i can give you a tour.” jory got dalton a drink and then nodded, “yeah that’s her. and she is beautiful, still looks almost as young as she did when i was born.” it was a wonder that she didn’t have more wrinkles with all that she had been through. he walked over looking at the photos and said, “yeah, that’s my mother and the man next to her in most of them is my step father, chris. the boy is my brother bart, and little girl is cindy.” he points out one of his father, a sultry sort of scowl on his face, so unlike the look jory normally wore. his mother said that his father thought it looked sexy and that’s why he did it. but the face was roughly the same as jory’s, other than the light bits of his mother that were mixed into him. from his lighter hair and softer facial expression. he also perhaps earned his tanner skin tone from all the sun his mother ensured he got. perhaps that’s what made them look more different. but jory does have his midnight blue eyes and red toned lips. jory smiles and says, “and there’s my father.” 

           “there won’t be.” dalton assured, knowing that no one could ever capture his heart like jory had - no matter how they danced at his club. no one would ever be jory, apart from jory. he was utterly and completely in love with his husband, and nothing would ever change that. he’d fallen for him the moment he’d met him, looking after him after an incident in his club, and dancing afterwards. even when he ran off at the strike of two am like cinderella.

           “three months, to the day.” he repeated, swallowing hard as he glanced at his husband. he felt so guilty for making jory sad about this, but he hoped the other knew that of course dalton was happy for him and wanted to be nothing but supportive. when his husband embraced him, he tightly hugged him back, pressing kisses to any part of him that he could get to. “i love you so much baby, i know you’ll kill it out there. you go and show them that you are the best dancer on this planet, and no one could ever match up to you. i’ll try and get some time off at one point, come out and see you okay? it’ll be okay. i love you so much too cinderella, and i know you’re coming back. i do know that.” he reluctantly pulled away when jory had to leave, and he waved at his husband until he was out of sight. he stood there for a small while, staring at the point that jory had been before slowly he walked back to his car, sitting in the drivers side and driving back to his apartment, like a robot. waiting until he got home until he’d allow himself to break down, already missing his husband so much that his heart ached.

jory didn’t talk to dalton as often as he would like. at the beginning he had been sure to call once a day. then it became every other day as it became busier. they were in different time zones and jory was exhausted after long practices and press tours. back home his face was on magazines, him and his dance partner melody appearing in love with one another as they were accomplished at doing, as they did so every night on stage. and sometimes it was him, melody, and her boyfriend, james who was also apart of the company. the three of them going out together, dancing together. one particular magazine spread had a photo of jory and james dancing in a club together, it had been a sensual dance to tease melody who found it hilarious. all things he was doing when he should of been on the phone with dalton he supposed. eventually the phone calls dialed down to once every couple weeks. they were short, argumentative over why jory didn’t call more often.

and now it had been three weeks without a call, it hadn’t been jory’s plan for it to be so long, but he was practicing during the day and performing at night. and he had recently come down with some sort of stomach ailment he surmised. something he had to dance through though it sent him running to the bathroom in the early mornings, luckily he hadn’t yet gotten the urge to throw up on stage. though he found himself even more exhausted, in need of more food, and dizzy at times. madame zolta finally had enough of her star performer complaining and sent him to the doctor. the blood test came back and there it was, his ailment plain as day. he was pregnant. two months along of course, reminding himself of the last time him and dalton had made love two months ago. before their argument about him leaving, before he was over here.

jory felt the nerves bubble under his skin. instantly he longed to be back home and not here. he only had two people he loved here. madame zolta and melodie. he longed for his mother and step father now to comfort him, he knew his mother would pull him to her chest like she often did and stroke his hair. tell him how much she loved him and that it’d all be okay. chris was a doctor, he’d walk him through the medicine but he’d also wrap him in those strong arms and tell him it was alright, and he’d be fair, he wouldn’t judge him for any decision jory might consider making, for jory hadn’t judged him. he’d call them momma and daddy like he did as a boy as he cried out what was going on. he’d be safe like he was as a child. hell he even missed bart who he could see scowl when jory came back, but he could also see bart soften as he did sometimes. he’d soften once he knew and he’d hug jory too. he wouldn’t judge either though it was in bart’s nature to do so. he’d protect him. but most of all he missed dalton. he needed dalton to hold him the most. to tell him it’d be all right, that they’d be alright. that he’d love him no matter what, that he’d support him. he needed dalton to love him in spite of his more recent faults, and even his doubts now. he needed dalton to want him and love him, and not forgive him just because there was a baby. ‘i don’t want the only good thing to come from this marriage to be a child’, he recalls himself saying to dalton when he fought with his mother after telling her they were married. ‘it won’t be,’ dalton had promised before they made love, giggling and kissing so sweetly. he hadn’t known that his mother had seen them doting and loving one another, and that’s why she had decided it was good for jory.

but he didn’t have any of them to run to so he ran to madame zolta and melody flinging himself across their laps. ‘jory dear it’ll be alright, you’ll dance, you can still dance now even. and when this finishes you’ll be home again. you’ll have baby and i’ll have trained three generations of great dancers,” madame zolta said in her thick accent. melodie combed her fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek, ‘she’s right jory it’ll be alright. you know i can’t dance without you, or rather i can’t dance as well with anyone as i do with you. you’ll dance again even with a baby. and it’ll be a beautiful little baby, like you or that handsome husband of yours. either way that baby has good genetics on it’s side.’ jory cried into their arms and shook his head, he had to go back now. he finished one last performance before jumping a plane home.

he first went to his family, they consoled him just as he knew they would. even bart acted the same. ‘if he doesn’t accept whatever you decide i’ll kick his ass’ bart had said sternly, ‘you can come back and share my room if you need to even,’ bart shrugged. jory couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling his brother had some longing to have him back at home. chris had held him tightly, the warm arms of the only father he truly knew holding him. telling him it’d be alright, kissing his forehead. his mother kissed his face all over and told him he needed to go to dalton, tell him. jory knew that but his mother had to push, jory needed that push to go home. to his real home.

          “she certainly is.” dalton chuckled, but he understood what jory meant. julia would appreciate it at the utmost if dalton at least attempted to dance with her. maybe she could teach him a thing or two. “i’ll do my best. see if she wants to teach me ballet, or see if she’ll let me teach her how to waltz. the next time she’s at the club. but if they keep being bored, jory, i just don’t know what to do. i just don’t think it’s fair to them, you know ?? but i’ll try harder. i promise.”  he murmured, trying to keep his voice low so that only jory could hear him. “i love you.” he whispered before dalton ordered for all of them, making sure to get julia’s burger no cheese explicitly across to the waitress. he knew the meltdown that would happen if it came with cheese on.

            he looked at his son, pulling a funny face to make him laugh once more. he loved the sound, he would never get bored of hearing colton laugh. “so, daddy’s had an idea.” dalton announced, hoping that julia would listen along with her brother too. “the next time you come to daddy’s work, i’m gonna have a little surprise for you, and julia you can teach daddy to dance how you do and colton, perhaps i can teach you how to dance like daddy and i do at home.” they often danced together, and because dalton wasn’t particularly versed in ballet, he often convinced his husband to waltz around the house with him instead, “besides a party, if you guys want to do something that day you just let me know over the next couple of days and i’ll sort it out, okay?” he wanted to show them that they could have fun at his work too, and that he wasn’t afraid to make a fool of himself for his kids sake.

“she’d love that you know. she loves to boss people around, so im sure she’d love to teach it to you,” jory smiles. “well if she complains about waltzing tell her that a lot of the time us ballet dancers prefer the waltz as long as it’s with the right partner,” jory says looking at dalton as he says it, letting it be known dalton is that partner for him. jory sighed and kissed dalton’s temple, “thank you babe. they love you, they’re just going through a phase where dancing is the coolest thing in the world. the first time they have to wear the real ballet shoes and their feet ache for days on end or they fall trying to do one of my spins, one of them will likely shake loose and want to own a place where you throw big parties,” jory assures.

colton gave him another giggle hiding his face in embarrassment. he had a habit of doing that even as a baby. hiding his face behind whoever was holding him. as if because he couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see him either. coltons eyes lit up with happiness he always wanted in on the waltzing his daddy’s would do. trying to wedge his way between them to join. colton smiled and nodded, “okay daddy, i’ll dance with you,” he says clapping his hands together a bit.

When you shared this much history with someone, it only gave a depth to the relationship. They weren’t the same boys from the past. It was only natural, seeing as how much they’ve grown and changed. But these memories they created together were common threads, tugging at heartstrings in ways no one else could. “You got bracelet making on your resume like me then?” he playfully bantered. “Guess I might have competition then.” Corey scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest. “Any film can be talked about. And I think cheap horror films have the most artistic merit. I could watch them all the time, and never cease to be amused.” If Corey wasn’t running his own live commentary during a movie, then he was laughing hysterically over it. There was something cathartic about watching something that was supposedly meant to be scary, but you found humor in it instead. His eyes widened at his friend’s offer for tickets to one of his shows. “Oh, Jory, you don’t have to,” he said with a sudden shyness that even caught him off guard. “But I’d love to see you perform again. Tell me when you do. I’ll be there.”

It wasn’t like Corey to be this bold. He wore this armor like a lifeline, because underneath it were hastily done stitches and hairline fractures. He was a mess that somehow passed as a functioning human being amongst others. But alone, he was still falling apart at the seams. Yet here he was closing the space between them for a kiss. His heart broke in a good way when he felt Jory return the kiss. It was as if his heart was being remade anew. With one hand still on Jory’s waist, Corey guided him over to the sofa. He already felt his knees go weak earlier, so it helped to be able to sink down on to the sofa. Corey couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so gentle and kind with him. It only made him kiss Jory deeper. The kiss broke when there was a need for air. Corey rested his forehead against Jory’s with his eyes closed. He felt tears sting behind the closed eyelids. He wanted to say those three words, but fear caught his voice. He held his tongue as if trying to stall rejection.

Kissing Corey felt as if he had tripped over the side of a cliff and was just enjoying the fall. It was slow and linger and left that sinking feeling combined with the flutter of butterflies in his stomach. Jory felt himself being walked backwards till he fell down onto the couch pulling Corey on top of him. He kissed his best friend gently, but deeply, a tenderness in the kiss. He stroked his best friends cheek gently, fingers dipping into his curls. Kissing Corey was better than he could ever imagine it and he wishes in that moment that he caught on sooner, and had kissed Corey way back when they were in high school.

Him and his siblings were free now. They’d been on the train for hours, his nerves growing frazzled as the ride seemed to go on forever, as the train stopped to pick up more passengers, and let some off. He felt happier perhaps than he had been in three years, they were out of their attic prison and onto better things. Confident that they’d find something good. However his expression changed once he peered down at his younger sister. His bright blue eyes darkened with worry.

It was quite the feat of wonder that two grown men could fit on this sofa. Hence why Nate loved this sofa so much. He’d even say he loved it more than his own bed. Nate smiled to himself when he felt Chris relax against him. He continued running his fingers through Chris’ hair.

Nate laughed, his smile reaching his eyes. His heart warmed when their eyes met. “Hey, are you making fun of me?” He couldn’t help but laugh at himself anyways. He appreciated how Chris indulged in Nate’s playful nature. There had been too much fucked up shit in his life growing up, and he was witnessing it on a near daily basis at work. He wasn’t optimistic as a method of being in-denial. It was just to remind himself that there was still good in the world, so he thought he should put some light out there too.

“But yeah, I know you love me.” His hand drifted down from Chris’ hair to run across his arm. He shifted his position a little, so he could bury his face into Chris’ neck and shoulder. His lips brushed against the other’s skin. Would he ever work up the courage to confess? He wondered if Chris could feel how quickly his heart was racing.

Chris smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around Nate as the other teased back at him. “Only a little,” he whispers back face buried in Nate’s chest. He was drawn into the others warm and bright nature. Chris was the optimistic one of his siblings, but it wasn’t easy to be. It was optimism from denial. Chris just wanted to bury it all away. It wasn’t easy. So he thought he needed some real sunshine in his life, and that’s what he thought Nate was.