Kitwist shipper 4 life

Ask me anything about them

I’ve been meaning to find a good way to vent about this for a while now, but let’s go over this Sinner Geo schtick and why going on Discord is hard for me.

Alastor and Geo, an odd pairing, I know, especially with the father-son dynamic I gave them. But that was why I loved it, it was unique and creative and weirdly comforting for me on some level. The whole Sinner Geo AU thing was something that made me feel good yet guilty at the same time. Like ‘these characters weren’t meant to meet, and the way I’ve characterised them is completely out of character.’ But I didn’t care. Everyone characterised Alastor and Geo differently, some even similar to me, and what did it matter if my little alternate universe was making me happy?

Well, something you need to know about me is that I don’t take criticism very well, like at all. One little flaw gets pointed out and I get stuck with the guilt for days.

I remember getting criticised for my au for the first time by a user on the TUZ Discord serve; a casual little comment about ‘character assassination’. ‘Character assassination.’ Those words stung me. Sure, I tried to play it off, saying they should call me Yor Forger, but I couldn’t help but blast Soap by Melanie Martinez for half an hour to cope with the guilt of committing such a heinous crime.

I don’t feel safe mentioning Hazbin Hotel on the TUZ Discord server, because that user would always find something to criticise about it. I once got into an argument ‘debate’ with them about Alastor vs Team Umizoomi and I felt like I couldn't get my point across out the argument well enough. And just when you think it’s ended, guess who makes a comment on Alastor and Geo and gets bombarded with scoldings from the rest of the users? Me. Though, I admit, it was a stupid move on my behalf, and not the last one I’m going to make.

Everything’s going fine for like a month, I’m having a good day until I open Tumblr and am greeted to this:

I felt dreadful and immediately put it on Discord to find the culprit. Unsurprisingly, it was the same user I keep getting into debates with. I blocked them for a day, unblocked them the next, had another ‘debate’, and didn’t hear back when I told them I felt hurt.

It went unresolved after that, and for a week or two I was playing The Cure by Olivia Rodrigo over and over to cope until curiosity got the better of me and I did another stupid thing. I asked for criticism for my Sinner Geo AU, more to get why the user thought my mischaracterisation was so ‘CRAZY.’ No matter how much dread filled my stomach, I felt like I had to know. What they said wasn’t news to me, it was everything I was worried I would get judged for in my Sinner Geo AU. Alastor being parental and not as psychotic, and Geo being infantilised in the agere thing I did for April.

I guess that’s why I asked them to delete them. They said I asked for it, which I obviously did and felt stupid for, but I couldn’t find the words to say their critiques were nothing new. So, I deleted all my messages in that conversation. I felt really guilty about it, like a life changing guilt, so I apologised to the user. The user wasn’t ever upset. But I was upset. I have been upset for days.

I made two vent posts before this one, and neither of them got much attention. To me, leaving a heart on a post of someone venting shows you support them, and I didn’t get any hearts.

I remember reading one of my Alastor and Geo fics before the whole asking for criticism thing, and I remember feeling happy while reading it. The dialogue was amazing and characterisation for me was just right. I couldn’t help but smile and wanting to write more of them together.

Now I know not everyone has to like the things you like, but you can still indulge in them, because that’s your special interest and not theirs. If anyone discourages you from that interest, ignore them and mentally tell them to fuck off (you’ll feel a little better).

No hate to the user or anyone else involved in this, I just finally wanted to get my feelings out about the situation. And if you could, maybe leave a heart or a comment just so I know you’ve heard me.

Isn't she lovely?

Isn't he wonderful?

Aren't they just precious?