crumbling down

well its time, its 5:26am and im up and anxious! took an ativan hopefully thatll help its the lowest dosage so ill pray ig (?) but yeah tummys hurting and throats contricting thats for fucking sure. send the wambulance, quick!

so im the dummy. starting the work week tomorrow after having summer off and still have anxiety about it. this will be my 3rd year, i know everyone so why cant i chill the fuck out. it makes me mad the way that i give anxiety so much power over me. i dont want self help books or medicine i just want to be normal and calm down. but its not like im not calm its just my brain, it thinks im about to die every second of every day. i need some more cookies cause i know this week is going to take a lot out of me, should schedule my doctors appt to talk about anxiety meds but guess what.. 2 anxious lol