i've always been here

It was a shock, after so long of thinking it was Jacs, but it was easy to stay calm and focused on hopefully making Franky feel even a little better. Maybe it was because she knew Franky was capable of violence if need be, or maybe it was because they were in prison and there were plenty of murderers around them each and every day, but Kimmy wasn’t too phased. She certainly wasn’t afraid. Her emotions all revolved around her concern for the girl before her that was very clearly struggling with the amount of guilt on her shoulders. “That’s exactly how I know you’re not a monster, Franky. And that’s how I know you’re ready for parole. You didn’t mean to kill her, you didn’t mean to hurt her. You’re feeling immense guilt and I reckon it’s something you’ll deal with the rest of your life.” Since Franky had pulled her hands away, she didn’t try reaching out for her again, instead letting her hands drop gently into her lap. “You have remorse, you have a conscience. You have a soul. You wish it never happened. That’s why you can be forgiven, because it’s a terrible accident that you never wanted to happen. We both know how Jacs was, how smug she was whenever she hurt anyone. She is someone that can’t be forgiven. You’re nothing like her, Franks. You’re good. I promise you.” Kim tried to stress the last bit, desperately wishing Franky could see herself the way Kim did.

Jacs Holt didn’t kill Meg Jackson. No more needed to be said. It clicked in Kim’s mind and her mouth dropped into a little ‘O’, the realization washing over her like a wave. A part of her was so proud of Franky for taking this step, for trusting her with such a secret; it was one that could ruin her life, lock her up in prison for the rest of her days. Of course Kim would never tell a soul, would never tell anyone anything Franky told her in confidence, but especially not this. She’d never repeat it. For a moment she was at a loss for words, instead nodding her head just a little, a signal to let her know that she understood, that she didn’t have to spell it out and say the words. She got it. Unable to help it, she reached over and took Franky’s face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe the tears. Seeing her cry was breaking her heart. Just like always, however, she was prepared for the girl before her to lash out at any moment, to shove her away and start screaming for her to fuck off. It’d happened before. Still, she’d be there to be whatever she needed, even if it was a punching bag. “Her death was an accident, Franky. That entire riot was a mess, one that escalated when it shouldn’t have. No one was supposed to die. We all knew that,” Her voice was a whisper, even though they were the only ones in her cell, the only ones in the unit. “Accidents happen. They’re terrible fucking mistakes that you have to live with forever, but they can be forgiven. You can be forgiven. You’re not a monster. You don’t have to believe me, and you don’t have to think it, but I’m not going to let you ruin your parole.”

The hand was pulled away from her touch and Kim knew better than to do anything but give her the space she needed. Still, she’d be ready with open arms to hold the girl beside her should Franky ever allow her to provide that level of comfort. “We’re not talking about Pennisi anymore, are we?” She said softly, tipping her head to the side. The man survived, the act wasn’t a mistake that couldn’t be forgiven. Mike himself had probably forgiven Franky a long time ago. Her time had been paid for that. But Kimmy knew Franky quite well over the years, could tell when something was on her mind and had her feeling like this. And that wasn’t Mike Pennisi or her past. So badly she wanted to reach out and touch her, wipe her cheek and pull her into her arms, but she did her best to refrain. Franky didn’t know comfort. Her childhood hadn’t included it. “Why can’t you?”