Lessons learned as of 2017.
It’s been two years since I’ve posted anything that’s very meaningful and that I’ve wanted to share with whoever’s reading or is interested. As I sip this chocolate raspberry truffle “girls night out” wine and eat some Lindt chocolate, I think it’s a good time to reach out to whoever and get a little personal.
1. True and actual best friends (or since best friends isn’t a person, it’s a tier, let’s say the best friend at the very top) are almost impossible to find.
Seriously you guys. At 26 years old, I’m not preaching that I’m wise, but it seems as you get older, it gets harder. It also seems that the level of “best friend-ness” of a person, can grow or decline depending on how much you end up learning about them or how much time you spend together. “Best friend” can be interpreted differently depending on your needs and/or interests in a friend. So, I’m going to say, having “close friends” is way easier but every friend has their own purpose in your life but this too, can change. If you have best friends who are truly your best friends, consider yourself blessed and fight for that friendship.
2. Our perspectives are based on our social location.
Social location can be explained as your surroundings and how the different aspects of your surroundings have shaped who you are as a person, your beliefs, values, experiences, and therefore, perspectives on everything! This includes culture, circle of friends, family/upbringing, career, education system, social policies, politics, etc. As a result, I’ve learned that self-reflection and self-awareness are crucial but at a certain extent, can be harmful. It’s difficult to find a balance but it’s important to interpret things with a grain of salt and to be as objective/neutral as possible towards everything. I think of it as, no two people who share the same experience, experience everything identically. And, our experiences shape our lens that is different from other sets of lenses. So, before we judge, we should take a step back and think about our judgements because in all honesty, we have no right to judge because we do not fully understand.
3. Society creates barriers to our happiness.
In our modern society, we have become dependent on social media and consequently, validation from others. This has inherently affected how we perceive ourselves and most of the time, our low self-esteem. Not only do we also suffer from social norms that control us such as disenfranchised grief and the notion that we are responsible for our own “self-care”, we also suffer from many other social and/or cultural norms and expectations that can destroy us or control us by simply manipulating our ways of thinking. So, take a step back, do some reflection and see what you need for happiness and what’s stopping you from being happy.
4. In order to survive, we have to go out of our comfort zone.
This doesn’t apply to everything. What I’m trying to say here is that in modern society, with all the competition, life is getting harder. We have to test our boundaries, cross our limits, and do stuff that unfortunately will get us further than if we remained the same. This means, trying new things that we may not have done in the past or learning new things that we don’t like but will undoubtedly benefit us. This means we need to plan more, be more selfish (but remain modest and humble and STILL a good person overall), maybe be a bit more fake depending on who you are, and invest more time and energy into working towards our success in general. No matter what though, don’t lose your true self.
5. Do things when you can and don’t wait or do it “next time”.
Unplanned and uncalled for situations happen all the time and sometimes that means death. When you want to do something do it now because you may never get to do it. Yes, that also means, eat that last slice of cake before it’s eaten.
I mean, be reasonable and don’t overdo anything where you end up hating yourself. But be nice to / respect your body, your face, your habits, and your strengths and weaknesses. You only have one body and the only person who will never leave you, is you. It’s easier said than done but it seems as though those who are happy with themselves, are truly happy and can also be truly happy in relationships. There’s the saying “if you’re unhappy, do something about it”, which usually pertains to body image. This is also easier said than done but I think human persistence can beat anything, if you truly want change. I could say I want to lose weight but if I keep eating and don’t start any diets, I’m obviously not desperate enough or I don’t want it enough. Yes, this is a true story and I think it relates to many many other people - don’t worry, you’re not alone #foodislife.
7. Plans provide structure or support goals but are not always set in stone and do not always fall through.
It’s great to have plans and goals. But don’t be confined by them. Be flexible and go with the flow as much as you can because shit happens and we change all the time! It seems that as we get older, our core personality changes less and less and it’s our values and beliefs that can be manipulated more easily. That being said, our plans and goals can change and if we let them confine us to a certain extent, we’re only cornering ourselves and hurting ourselves. Be smart about it but at a reasonable extent. Try your best and be happy knowing that you did.
8. Time is the most valuable thing you can give and receive or have.
In a competitive society where we are pushed to multitask, have more than one job, excel in all of our duties or fight with mental illnesses, time seems to be something that is scarce and even more valuable than in the past. Because we don’t have a lot of time, we also don’t have a lot of energy because we have spent it all on the time we had to things for our survival and success. It is sad. But I’ve learned that things like family and friends or even ourselves may at times need to come first. Actually, we have to always come first because if we aren’t well taken care of, we can’t succeed in anything anyways and that ends up wasting our time. So be careful, and use your time wisely while giving it to things and people who deserve it. Simultaneously, be grateful for the time you have and are given by others.
There are most definitely many more lessons learned that I could share with you. But I believe my main lessons and what I hope to share either directly or indirectly are here. I will leave this post with Ellen Degeneres’s quote, “be kind to one another”. I hope these lessons give you some food for thought, encouragement, or helped you in any way possible. Please know that these are personal thoughts and I have no intention in offending anyone or implying that I’m right. Please take what I say objectively and with a grain of salt :).
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