lol

But now I understand

A portion of the pain I bear

I can be hurt

I can wish you the worst

But I cannot force the love away

I cannot open the door and push it

I cannot tell it to stop

And that’s a truth you have to face

Why do you still hold on

When he never showed you any grace

Distaste and distaste and then he made a space

Without you in it

Called it fair

Fuck him and his stupid perfect hair

And the way it flops

Like the nest of lies

You know he holds inside

Doesn’t really fade

Or go away

It’s always there

Nesting

It builds a home inside us

Lays it’s eggs inside our walls

Cakes our veins with silence

We say things we mean

And have to apologize

Because

Honesty is poison

It is oppression

When you aren't around

But I'd rather suffer in your presence

I know I should let go

And you said it too

But now I can't tell

It's foggy

I can see you

But

You can say it over and over and over

But I'll never believe you

For the look on your face

In your eyes

Tells me the truth

You're over it